"Today's the day."

Naruto heaved a sigh of relief at Itachi's words. He'd been in the hospital for long enough that the walls seemed to be creeping in on him. Itachi had insisted on keeping him longer than normal because of how sick he had been when the heart had come and because he had been so hard to revive after the new heart was in place. Technically speaking, he had been clinically dead for several minutes while Itachi had coaxed the new heart into beating for the first time in his chest. He had no memory of it and was forced to take Itachi's word for it.

After two weeks under the constant surveillance of nurses and doctors, he was ready to leave, but Itachi refused to release him until he was one hundred percent certain that the heart was healing without complications. It had driven him insane, especially after he started feeling a lot better. He knew Sasuke was ready for him to be home as well considering that both of them squeezing onto the single hospital bed was starting to annoy the nurses when they came in at night to check his vitals. They insisted that the bed was only meant for Naruto, but it never failed that after the first couple of days following the surgery, Sasuke would crawl into bed with him and hold him tight against him. It was as if he were afraid that Naruto would slip away while he slept.

Naruto pushed back the thought and glared at Itachi. "It's about damn time. I seriously thought you were trying to keep me here forever."

"Don't try me. I can keep you here a few more days."

Naruto snorted and poked out his lip. "AMA, asshole."

Itachi merely arched a brow that practically screamed 'try me'. The man was so infuriating. He was a sadist for sure, though Naruto did have a sneaking suspicion that he might have a masochistic streak in him as well. Damn, but the thought was kinda sexy, even if it was accompanied by the thought of a dominatrix owning his ass. Then, the mental image of mild mannered Hinata popped in there and he couldn't help but grin at the thought of her being that dominatrix. One day, she was going to tap that ass. He was certain of that.

"You're thinking perverted thoughts, aren't you?"

Naruto blinked and glanced at the door where Sasuke stood with a cup of coffee and an arched brow. That man could read him like a book. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"Actually, I'm not sure I would considering the look in your eye."

"Prude," mumbled Naruto before flopping back against the bed and turning pleading eyes to Itachi. "Let me out of here before you have to admit me to the psyche part of the hospital."

Itachi shook his head and handed Sasuke a print off. "Don't let him go to the first fast food place you see. He's still on a cardiac diet until his heart fully heals. Just because you've got a new ticker, doesn't mean you can go around doing whatever you please. It's going to take a while for the muscles to heal, not to mention the bones on your sternum where we had you split open on the table. Treat your body as if you had a heart attack. Keep the salt to a minimum, and feed him soft, easily digested food. You know the drill."

"You're serious?" A crestfallen look spread across Naruto's face. "I'm still stuck eating tasteless food?"

"Only until your heart fully heals, not to mention, no sex."

"What?"

Itachi gave a shrug. "Your heart isn't ready for it. You need to rest and keep exertions to a minimum until I give you the go ahead. You lasted this long, didn't you?"

"Damn it."

Sasuke chuckled and walked over to stroke a finger down Naruto's cheeks. "He'll do what he's supposed to."

"You're a lucky man to have Sasuke, Naruto, otherwise I'd keep you here until you healed because if I know you, you'd be camped out in the first burger joint you came to."

"Bastard," he grumbled.

"With that taken care of, I'll send the nurse in with all the required paperwork for your discharge. I'll be by to check on the two of you in a day or two." Itachi gave a smirk and wave before exiting the room, leaving behind an annoyed Naruto and a chuckling Sasuke. Naruto even went so far as to flick a rude gesture at Itachi's back.

"You let him rile you so much."

Naruto rolled his eyes in Sasuke's direction. "Can't help it. He pisses me off sometimes."

"I thought that was my line."

"I might have stolen it from you when Itachi became my somewhat brother."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and moved to the closet to begin packing their things while Naruto tapped his fingers impatiently on the bed. Those damn nurses weren't doing anything but gossiping at the nurse's station. The least they could do was hurry up and bring the paperwork so he could leave considering what they were paying the hospital for this extended stay.

"Are you seriously going to feed me that bland shit?"

"Yes."

"You're a bastard too," he said with a huff. "I don't know why I stay with you since you're a sadist that likes torturing me."

Sasuke settled on the bed at Naruto's hip and leaned forward to place a slow and gentle kiss on the pouting lips before pulling back with a smirk. "And yet you stay, what does that make you, I wonder?"

"I'm not a fucking masochist," he grumbled, though sometimes he wondered.

Sasuke tossed back his head and laughed before moving to the chair beside the bed and flipping through the channels on the television until he found CNN. Naruto never understood how Sasuke could stand to sit and watch the news as if it were entertainment. Then again, Sasuke wrote non-fiction books about history and actually seemed to enjoy it.

The minutes began to tick by. Their belongings were packed into a few bags beside the door. Naruto was about to tear out his hair in his impatience when a young nurse trotted in followed by a student nurse.

"Well, Mr. Uzumaki, looks like you're leaving us."

"Hell yeah, I am." Naruto held out his hand and crooked his fingers for the paperwork. "Give me that stuff and show me where to sign."

"Did Dr. Uchiha tell you what to avoid after you leave?"

"Yeah, Yeah," mumbled Naruto as he signed his name absently on the lines marked with an 'X'. "He pretty much told me that I was going back to the hell of bad food and no fun."

"Well, you did just have major surgery. Taking it easy might not be a bad thing."

Naruto snorted and handed over the papers to the nurse. "I've been taking it easy for the last year—longer even. I'd like to live a little."

"You'll have to excuse Naruto. He has a bit of a character fault called impatience," said Sasuke rather dryly.

Naruto bared his teeth at Sasuke before looking pleadingly at the nurse. "Can I go now?"

The nurse chuckled and nodded to her student who exited the room and returned moments later with a wheelchair, causing Naruto's relieved expression to turn into a scowl. "I can't even walk out?"

"Hospital policy."

He heaved a long suffering sigh and settled in the chair while Sasuke grabbed their bags. Just being out of this place was a relief even if his mode of transportation had to be a wheelchair. A slow suffocation had been taking over. He wanted out of this place and to be back home where he felt the most at ease.

He lifted a hand to his chest and touched the bandaged covering the wound. Despite the skin having mostly healed, it still hurt like a bitch. Itachi had explained that the bone of the sternum needed to be cut and the ribs spread in order to have access to the heart. Bone of that density took more than a few days to heal. He was looking at several months of recovery.

"I'll go get the car," said Sasuke when they reached the entrance to the hospital.

Naruto closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh air that brushed across his face. Freedom had never tasted so sweet. "This must be how a prisoner feels when he's let out."

The nursing student giggled behind her hand. "I'm not sure it's the same thing."

"Trust me; you haven't been confined to a bed for months. Hell, a few weeks ago, I couldn't walk to the bathroom by myself. Trust me, if you can find someone who will wipe your ass when you're sick, you know that it's love." Naruto watched as Sasuke drove Scarlett and parked her beneath the awning in front of them. Joy spread through him and he nearly leapt to his feet in excitement.

"There's my baby." He ignored the nursing student and Sasuke in favor of walking to the car and running his hands over the shiny red exterior. "Did you miss me, love? I certainly missed you. I'm sorry for ignoring you these past months. Never again."

"God, will you stop doing that. It's bad enough when you do it in private, but it's downright embarrassing when you do it in front of witnesses." Sasuke lifted a hand to his brow and shook his head in exasperation.

"Ignore him, baby. He doesn't understand our love."

Sasuke turned a long suffering eye to the nursing student. The girl looked torn between thinking Naruto insane and thinking him making a joke.

"Ignore him. He's a moron," said Sasuke with a bland smile.

"Please take care of yourself." The student gave a small smile before taking the empty wheelchair back into the hospital.

"You really are a moron," grumbled Sasuke.

Naruto shot his lover a grin and slid happily into the passenger seat. He would have rather driven Scarlett, but he was feeling a bit wiped. The excitement of leaving and the pain in his sternum was sapping what little strength he had gained upon receiving the new heart. He decided not to push his luck too far. There would be plenty of time to drive Scarlett later after he recovered his stamina.

The cool jazz that Sasuke played filled the car and Naruto sighed happily as he burrowed back into the comfortable leather seats. He hadn't realized he had dozed off until he felt Sasuke gently shaking his shoulder. "We're home."

Prying open his eyes, he stared at the parking garage. Reaching forward to rub a hand on Scarlett's dash, he mumbled an apology to the car. "I'm sorry, baby. I fell asleep on you."

"Seriously, stop that." Sasuke scowled at the car. "If you keep that up, I'm selling it."

"It's a her and you wouldn't dare."

There was a tick beside Sasuke's eye. "Try me."

Naruto stuck out his tongue and opened the door to the car. He knew Sasuke was bluffing, but decided it was smarter not to poke the snake least he end up getting bit on the ass.

Home had never looked so good as they rode the elevator up to their floor. Walking into their apartment brought tears to his eyes. A thick lump formed in his throat and he nearly choked on it as he stumbled over the threshold. If Sasuke had not been there to grab him, he might have fallen.

"Are you alright?"

He couldn't ignore the worry in Sasuke's voice, but at the same time, he couldn't speak. There were no words to describe what it felt like to be stepping into the place that felt more like home than any place he could remember living in. He had silently said goodbye to the place as they left for the hospital that last time, and yet now he was being welcomed back after an extended absence. The feeling was quite potent and equally painful.

Turning to face Sasuke, he stared at him through tear filled eyes. He had been prepared to die, but Sasuke had kept him attached to the world of the living. Sasuke was his reason for living. He had wanted to deny Itachi's words that Sasuke would join him if he died, but he knew it was true. His belief that Sasuke was strong enough to carry on was only him fooling himself. They were both too codependent on each other to survive alone again.

"Naruto?"

Naruto shook his head and buried his face in Sasuke's chest. "I'm okay. I'm just happy to be home again."

Sasuke wrapped his arms around Naruto and held him close in the doorway of the apartment. "I'm happy you're home again too. You had me worried there for a while."

"Yeah. I know." Naruto pressed his face even tighter against Sasuke's neck and released a full body shudder.

His body went limp and if not for Sasuke holding him, he probably would have sunk to the floor. The arms around him felt so warm and he welcomed them. Thinking about Sasuke allowed him to focus on something other than the niggling thoughts that had plagued his mind since the surgery. He didn't want to linger on them, least he be forced to face them.

"Are you feeling alright?"

Naruto nodded his face against Sasuke's neck. "I'm just tired."

Fleeing the hospital and then the emotional upheaval at being home was taking its toll on him. He was happy when Sasuke helped him to the bedroom and settled him on his side of the bed. Immediately, he reached for Sasuke's pillow and nuzzled his face into the soft material. Almost instantly, he frowned and pulled back. He could smell Sasuke, but not as potently as he should have. It took a minute to realize that Sasuke probably hadn't slept in the bed since he was placed in the hospital.

"Rest up; I'm going to run to the pharmacy to fill your prescriptions."

"Get me a cheeseburger while you're out."

Sasuke rolled his eyes and gave Naruto a playful shove. "In your dreams, Uzumaki. You won't be eating any fast food until Itachi gives the okay."

"Bastard," he grumbled playfully before drifting off, vaguely hearing Sasuke set his phone on the bedside before exiting the room.

Naruto's eyes shot open and he cried out, pressing a hand to his racing heart. "Sasuke!"

The bedroom door flew open and Sasuke rushed inside. "What happened? Is it your heart?"

Naruto nodded and began to shake. Was he rejecting it? Itachi would have noticed something before he released him, wouldn't he?

"I'm calling Itachi."

Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat and felt his heart begin to slow its beats. "Wait, it's alright. I think it was just a dream. Maybe I was running a marathon in it."

Sasuke looked unconvinced but lowered his phone. "Yeah, right. You actually training for a marathon? I'll believe that when I see it."

"I bet you I could."

Sasuke shook his head. "I have no doubt you can do anything you put your mind to, I just think you're a little too lazy to do it."

Naruto snorted and stuck out his tongue. "Just you watch. As soon as I get the clear from Itachi, I'm going to run a marathon."

Sasuke chuckled and stroked a finger down Naruto's cheek. "When Itachi gives you the go ahead, I'll run beside you. Now, do you want to eat dinner in bed, or at the table?"

"I've had enough of eating in bed." Naruto slid his feet from the bed and stood, a wave of mild dizziness making him sway lightly on his feet before he regained his equilibrium. To hell with a marathon, he just wanted to be able to walk from the bed to the dining table without passing out.

As he followed Sasuke into the living room, he noticed a pharmacy bag on the table. He opened up the bag and gave a small whine at a familiar pill bottle filled with diuretics. "Seriously, does Itachi want me to pee out my very soul?"

"He said it was just for a few weeks. Don't complain. You're not dying."

Naruto waved the bottle of his anti-rejection medication. "If I missed a dose of this I could."

"I'll be here to make sure you don't miss a dose."

Naruto tossed the bottles back in the bag and plopped down in his seat at the table. "I thought when I got a new heart, I would have less medication. I'm still taking the same shit, plus anti-rejections. I didn't lower my meds, I upped them."

"There are times I think you like complaining," commented Sasuke as he sat a large pot of soup on the table followed by Naruto's salt replacement.

"At least you're a damn good cook, is all I can say." Naruto accepted the bowl from his lover and dipped his spoon inside, bringing it to his lips and sipping the savory broth. He had to admit, eating healthy and low sodium wasn't so bad when Sasuke was there to cook for him. It didn't compare to a greasy hamburger from some random dive, but it wasn't bad as far as food went. He added a bit of the salt substitute before tasting again.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"Well duh, that's what it was."

They both knew Sasuke liked eating good food as much as Naruto, but refused to eat whatever he wanted when Naruto could not. Both had been on the same diet since Naruto began going into congestive heart failure. It was definitely a show of love that Sasuke suffered through the illness nearly as much as him. Sasuke had begun researching recipes and practicing them until even the healthiest of meals lost its bland taste and was actually good.

"How is it? I haven't cooked since you went in the hospital."

"It's not a hamburger, if that's what you mean," commented Naruto dryly.

"Stop bitching. In a few weeks, you can have some greasy food."

"Only some?"

Sasuke arched a brow at Naruto. "Don't push your luck."

Naruto sighed dramatically and the remainder of the meal was completed in silence. Afterwards, he settled on the sofa to watch some movie that was playing on HBO. Sasuke joined him after clearing the dishes and settled behind him on the wide sofa, curling his body around him.

It was nice to absorb Sasuke's warmth but when his hand wandered over where his chest still sported a bandage, he flinched.

"Does it hurt?"

Naruto shrugged. "It aches a little."

"You can have a pain pill if you need it, or a baby aspirin."

"It's fine, just a little tender."

"I'll be careful."

Naruto bit his lip and stared blindly at the television. He felt Sasuke's breath warm on the back of his neck and nearly cried at the sweetness of the moment, tainted by the thoughts he had been trying so hard to tamp down and hide from Sasuke. Sasuke was so good to him; it would kill him if he knew that his touch near the scar caused a wash of cold to work through his bloodstream.

He suddenly felt so very unworthy of everything. Sasuke. Living. The heart. Nothing was as he thought it would be and hiding what he felt was more draining than he could have thought. He wanted to live, but it didn't feel right. The heart in his chest was a foreign object that beat evenly and ached occasionally where it was healing from the trauma of the surgery.

Closing his eyes, he felt the tears leak out and trail down his cheek. He knew from the rhythm of Sasuke's breath that he was asleep. Living at the hospital had worn him down just as much as the illness and surgery had wiped out Naruto.

At first, when he woke up in the intensive care unit to see Sasuke's beautiful eyes, he thought he must be in heaven, that was, until the pain meds wore off. Regardless of the pain, he was so happy. He had a heart—a slightly used, but completely healthy heart. Anything was better than the piece of shit heart he had lived with for so long.

Everything was great.

And then he met Tsume Inuzuka.

He was grateful to have met her and he appreciated her gift of the heart that he so desperately needed, but when the adrenaline left and he was in the silence of his hospital room, it really sunk in that someone died so that he could live. He knew Sasuke had prayed for someone to die while they waited for Naruto to receive a heart, and that made him sick to his stomach because he had wished for it as well. He had hoped that someone with his blood type and a tissue match would die in some accident so he would not have to leave Sasuke.

He was truly lying to himself as he lay dying when he said he was okay with death and ready to embrace it. The truth of the matter was that he wanted to live. He had held on as long as humanly possible and a heart came to them.

He didn't want to be ungrateful, but it still ate away at him. Someone had died, and he had been happy. It went against every molecule in his body. He bore the scar to prove what he had wished for had come true. It was a hideous reminder of the sort of person he really was underneath the happy smiles. Why was he happy when a mother and sister were still grieving for the loss of their son? Why was he happy that someone had died?

He lifted a hand to his cheeks and wiped at the tears. If Sasuke saw them, he would likely panic. Behind him, Sasuke made a snuffling sound and rubbed his nose against the nape of his neck.

Naruto froze, afraid that Sasuke would wake up and see the wetness on his face or the redness in his eyes. His bastard of a lover was far too perceptive for his own good. He would know something was up and latch on like a bulldog until he got what he wanted.

That left only one choice for Naruto. He would have to hide what he felt from Sasuke, if he could. Sasuke deserved to be happy, and the light he saw in his eyes today was real. And, he couldn't bear to take that light from him.

For the longest time after the tears stopped, he lay there waiting until he was sure the redness in his eyes was gone and any puffiness could be attributed to sleepiness. "Hey, sleepyhead, if you're going to go to sleep, let's move this to the bed. I don't fancy falling off the couch when you start tossing and turning."

Sasuke blinked up at him dumbly before shifting into a sitting position. "I guess I was tired."

"We'll, let's go to bed."

With a drowsy nod, Sasuke stood and tugged Naruto to his feet. They made their way to the bedroom and almost instantly upon settling into the bed, Sasuke was in his familiar position of curling behind Naruto. Normally, he would sleep with his head on Naruto's chest, but as the surgical site was still healing, he took to wrapping Naruto in his arms and sleeping with his face buried in the nape of his neck.

"I'm so happy," murmured Sasuke against his neck.

"Me too," answered Naruto, though it was more of a half-truth than a full admittance.

"When Itachi gives the okay, I'm going to take you to the Caribbean like I promised." Sasuke's voice grew slurred as sleep tugged at him. "It's so nice there. I told you about how Itachi and I used to spend several weeks during the summer there with our parents."

"Yeah."

"You'll like it..."

Naruto knew Sasuke had fallen asleep when his breaths deepened and he began snoring lightly. Sleep, however, did not come so easily for him as it did for Sasuke. His mind was still filled with a buzz of uncontrollable thoughts. Just when he gained control over them, he would shift and an ache would shoot up his chest, reminding him once more of the burden he now bore.

A small sigh escaped him and he wondered if he would ever be able to look himself in the mirror again. That thought circled through his mind until finally exhaustion took a grip on him and forced him into sleep, fitful though it was. He wanted to say things would look better in the morning, but he wasn't so sure about that any more.