Naruto groaned and rolled closer to the warmth of the body next to him. Sasuke was always so warm, exuding heat like the healthy animal that he is. Just being beside him in bed was like having a personal bed warmer and in the winter, it was a godsend. As he became sicker over the last few months, his body began to have trouble maintaining a steady temperature so cuddling with Sasuke served a larger purpose than simply pleasure, though the comfort he received from it was a welcome gift. Now that he was on the road to recovery, he could curl against him and bask in Sasuke, not just the warmth he provided.

It was nice. For just a little while, he could forget about a mother's tears and the death that made his life possible. For just a little while, he could be normal and forget the ache in his breast from the surgical scar and his still healing sternum. For just a little while...

Sasuke gave a muttered moan and shifted where he lay so that he pressed more fully against him beneath the weight of the covers. Sasuke's warm chest pressed against his back and as hips moved closer until a distinctive bulge ground into his ass. He would have to be dead not to recognize morning wood when he felt it. There was many a morning when that particular biological normality encouraged a quick romp before the day fully began.

"Naruto," mumbled Sasuke as his hips began grinding lightly against his ass.

It felt nice and his heart picked up beat as sleep fully faded from him. And that scared him. Itachi had said no sex, and sex was not simply intercourse. He'd never had an issue with his ass and dick, so that meant it was his heart that he had to take care with concerning sex this soon after the transplant. Or, at least he was pretty sure it was meant as a warning against any sort of strenuous activities until the heart fully healed from the ordeal of being implanted in a foreign chest.

But God, he wanted to press back. Sex was always the best way at forgetting about the world and living in the blissfully mind-numbing satisfaction of an orgasm. If he was not allowed that pleasure, then he would be stuck in the current reality of becoming aroused with no relief in sight while Sasuke ground with increasing pressure against his ass.

"Sasuke, wake up."

He didn't want to wake him up fully. It would break the moment and bring his lover into reality with him. At least Sasuke would be allowed relief while only waiting for his hard-on to go away on its own was in Naruto's future. Damn, sometimes he hated Itachi and his fucked up rules. Even if it was for his own health, he still hated them.

"Naruto?" Sasuke sat up, eyes more closed than open. His hair was disheveled and he looked like a little boy just waking up...a little boy with a boner hard enough to plow a field with, but a little boy all the same. It was cute. Sasuke in the morning was definitely cute and cuddly and if this was a normal morning, that cuteness would be a definite turn on, but the lack of a release option was most definitely a buzz kill.

"It's morning."

Sasuke rolled his eyes closed and rolled onto his back. "Why did you wake me up? It's not like either of us have a nine to five job."

Not feeling up to complaining about the boner that had been digging into his ass two minutes prior, he simply flopped down beside him and sighed. "I'm hungry."

Sasuke popped open one eye and stared at Naruto. "Seriously?"

"Hey, I'm the invalid here. Go fix me some food, woman."

A small smirk followed the arching of a dark brow and Sasuke turned on his side to stare at him. "Once you're healed up, I'll show you who's a woman."

A heaved, exaggerated sigh escaped Naruto's lips. "Promises, promises."

Sasuke grinned wickedly before performing a full body stretch, the sheet sliding down his hips and pooling low enough for Naruto to see the trail of hair above his navel before it disappeared into the material of his boxers. That asshole knew he looked damn sexy. A hooded look spread across his face while he stared longingly at Naruto before sighing and rising from the bed. "I'll take a shower then fix you something."

He might not have been a genius, but even Naruto knew that was code for 'I'm going to go beat off in the shower before I go fix something for us to eat'. If not for his understanding of the workings of morning wood, he might have been angry. He understood and it pissed him off that he couldn't join Sasuke in the shower, but he understood. They were both men with needs. Both of them shouldn't suffer just because one of them was forbidden from sexual pleasure, and sex with Sasuke would definitely not be mild going, not with all things considered and if he could be allowed to keep the bandage on his chest to hide the scar he would be able to forget.

Damn Itachi to Hell. He was certain there was a special place already waiting for that bastard.

The bathroom door closed with a gentle snap and soon the sound of running water was muffled through the wood. The barrier of a wall and the sound of water prevented any sound of Sasuke's pleasure, but Naruto's imagination and memory were both in perfect working order. He was already imagining the sounds that would be pulled from Sasuke. His lover was not exactly the stoic sort when it came to sex. He wasn't a screamer, but he definitely made some very nice sex sounds.

Closing his eyes, Naruto continued to lie on the bed. He ached all over, mainly in his chest. At least it was a good sort of ache, one that meant he was healing.

He brought a hand up to touch his chest where the white bandage covered him from collarbone to diaphragm. A shudder worked through him and he fought back the cringe as the one memory that seemed ingrained into his brain was relived in almost slow motion. Tsume Inuzuka wept against his chest as she listened to her son's heart beat steadily in his chest.

Maybe coming to see them had helped her and her daughter come to terms with her son's death, but it did nothing for Naruto other than make the guilt eat away at him. It compounded on him every day. He knew there was no fault on his part for the donor's death, but that did not make it easier knowing that someone died for him to live.

Survivor's guilt is what Itachi called it. He explained that it was completely normal and would pass in a few weeks. He was not sure he believed him. The feeling of guilt felt too strong to fade in a matter of weeks. That Itachi brushed it aside did little to comfort him.

"Are you feeling bad, Naruto?"

Naruto's eyes fluttered open and he stared at Sasuke looking delicious and slightly damp from the shower, with that typical sated look on his face that caused his eyes to become just the slightest bit hooded. "I'm fine. I was waiting for breakfast in bed."

"You're trying to milk this, aren't you?"

Naruto grinned and shrugged. "You know me."

"Sometimes I wonder. And here I thought you were tired of being an invalid," retorted Sasuke as he bent down to place a kiss on Naruto's lips.

He tasted like mint from toothpaste and Naruto sank into the kiss, not bothered by the fact that he still had morning breath. If Sasuke didn't mind, he didn't either. "A guy can change is mind, can't he?"

Sasuke snorted and pulled away. "Come in the kitchen when you finally drag yourself out of bed. I'll have breakfast waiting on you."

Naruto pouted and flopped back on the bed. "You're a harsh task master."

"You need to start building back up your strength. You were on bed rest for quite a while."

Sasuke gave Naruto one last peck before pulling on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. As he exited the bedroom, Naruto heaved a sigh of relief. It was hard to keep up a happy face around Sasuke. That man was far too insightful for his own good. Seeing as Sasuke was barely a step from being a full out nerd, he could understand. Nerds tended to be good at people watching and catching the small things.

He would have to be diligent if he wanted to keep Sasuke from worrying. His lover had worried enough and deserved a break from it. It was something Naruto had to deal with anyway.

With that in mind, he dragged himself from the bed and set about pulling on a pair of loose pants and walked slowly into the bathroom. He went about brushing away the foul taste from his teeth and tongue. As he spit the foam from his mouth and looked at himself in the mirror, he could not mask a cringe at the sight. If he wanted to be honest with himself, he looked like shit. There were deep shadows beneath his eyes and his cheeks had a sunken look. At least there was color in his cheeks. Towards the end of his bout with heart failure, he had looked more like a ghost than a living, breathing human. It was hard to believe at the time that the pasty shadow staring back at him was himself.

His eyes continued to travel over his body, stopping on the bandage, a stark white against his skin. A sudden urge hit him and he could not stop himself from lifting a hand to where the tape secured the bandage to his chest. With a furtive glance toward the open door, he carefully pried the thick bandage tape from his chest, wincing as the clear tape pulled at his skin and the baby fine hairs found there. They obviously did not want the bandage coming free easily.

With slow inching movements, he tugged the bandage down and revealed what he had until that moment avoided looking at unless he could help it. When the nurses changed his bandages during his hospital stay, he kept his eyes elsewhere. He did not want to see it, and yet now he was willingly doing so.

What was revealed to him was a bright pink wound stapled together, barely formed scabs and dried blood visible between the strips of metal. Bruised skin stood out a dull yellow around the wound, showing the bruises almost healed from the assault he received during the surgery. It had looked far worse and recalled the first changing of the bandage done by Itachi. The horrified look on Sasuke's face was enough to make him cringe. Itachi had made quick work of explaining that surgery of that sort left bruises, but that they would disappear completely within two or three weeks.

"Damn," he muttered and poked at a bit of yellow skin. It wasn't tender until he drew closer to the stapled skin. The flesh was mostly healed and Itachi would likely remove the metal staples during his next visit.

Staring at the line marked with shiny metal bars, he could only think of one thing. Ugly, hideous even. He looked like Dr. Frankenstein had gotten ahold of him and was holding his body together with archaic means. He had an organ in him that was not his own. Maybe thinking himself like a movie monster was not such a stretch after all. Sudden, and perhaps a bit irrational, fear raced through his bloodstream. Was Sasuke bothered by this? He never gave any indication, but he was always good at masking his emotions, much better than Naruto.

"Naruto, what are you doing in there? I called you for breakfast."

Sasuke strolled into the bathroom with barely a care, just as he normally did. Naruto almost slapped himself for getting lost in his thoughts. He turned slowly to stare at his lover, only to find him looking interestedly at the scar running darkly down his chest.

"It's looking better, and the bruises are starting to fade. I admit, I was a bit shocked at first that they were so rough with you." Sasuke approached and traced a gentle finger over one of the larger splotches of yellow. "I wanted to beat Itachi bloody for making you look like you had been on the losing end of a street fight."

"You wouldn't know a street fight if you walked into the middle of one," joked Naruto in an effort to draw attention away from the wounds on his chest.

"Smart ass," growled Sasuke playfully. "I'll have you know that I was quite the rebel during my high school days."

He had to roll his eyes at that. Sasuke...a rebel? That was the biggest load of bullshit that he had ever heard unless Sasuke's sort of rebelling meant ditching the loafers for a pair of Keds. What could he say, he was in love with a nerd...a sexy nerd, but still a nerd.

"I saw that eye roll."

Naruto sighed, grateful to have diverted talk of his heart or the surgery. Instead, he grabbed the fresh bandage and bacitracin from the shelf and handed them to Sasuke, biting back the instant rush of nausea that came with the thought of him touching the ugly thing. "Help me bandage it, please."

Sasuke smiled, a spark of happiness rising in his eyes. He washed his hands and then set about rubbing the antibacterial ointment along the surgical line and then carefully covered it with a fresh bandage. The attention ached a little, but the major pain was much deeper in the bone and even that was dulled with medication and the slow healing process. He would need to intake a lot of calcium rich foods over the next few weeks. He would have cheered at the thought of milk, cheese, and ice cream, but Sasuke's idea of calcium rich food would be kale, broccoli, and spinach. He sighed again.

Sasuke gave him a poke to his brow. "You're thinking really hard there. Do I want to know what's going on in that brain of yours?"

"If you must know, I'm thinking how you're going to try and turn me into some crazy vegan."

With a roll of his eyes, Sasuke finished covering the wound and turned on his heel. "Just for that, I won't let you have your surprise."

"What surprise?" Naruto followed as quickly as he could into the kitchen. There on the counter was a bag of delivered bagels and real cream cheese. "Oh shit!"

"I called it in from the deli down the street. I figured one day of splurging wouldn't hurt you. Just don't tell Itachi."

"Fuck Itachi." Naruto grabbed a bagel and almost groaned at the soft doughy texture. "Oh god, they're fresh."

Sasuke chuckled and poured Naruto a glass of juice before handing him a small container of cream cheese. To say he was in heaven was an understatement. He could not recall the last time he had eaten a bagel. They weren't exactly the best thing in the world, but considering his diet during the past few months, they might as well have been. He practically groaned as his teeth sunk into the soft texture.

"God, it's better than sex."

Sasuke gave a small snort. "I take offense to that."

"I meant sex in general, not sex with you, because sex with you is its own category. There is sex and then there is Sasuke sex."

"Just shut up and eat your breakfast." Sasuke threw a napkin at Naruto and then set about spreading jam on his bagel. The remainder of breakfast was completed in silence, marred only by the happy sounds that Naruto made every so often while eating what had to be the best tasting bagel ever.

Sasuke left Naruto to finish the last few bites of his breakfast before returning several moments later with several pills in hand. He instantly recognized the diuretic and groaned but accepted his medication with as much grace as he could manage. The anti-rejection drugs kept his body from rejecting the foreign organ and Itachi promised that he would consider taking him off the diuretics in a few weeks after the healing was complete. That day could not come soon enough. Pissing more often than a pregnant woman was not a fun thing.

"I thought we might head down to the park and walk around. The fresh air will be good for you."

Naruto nodded and finished off his juice. He was glad that Sasuke did not mention that he was only able to finish a little over half of his bagel. They were assured before release that Naruto's appetite would return with time, but he wondered how much of his lack of appetite was related to the depression that he felt simmering just beneath the surface.

As Naruto pulled on some jeans and a light sweater, Sasuke dressed in a pair of dark slacks and a thin gray turtleneck. It was nothing fancy, but he could not deny that his lover looked sexy as hell. Even if the thought of Sasuke seeing or touching the scar on his chest caused his stomach to churn and threaten to expel his breakfast, he still wanted Sasuke and was proud that they belonged to each other.

"Ready?"

Sasuke linked their fingers and they walked hand in hand out onto the sidewalk. The morning air was crisp, but not bitterly so, as it nipped at their cheeks. The stroll to the park was barely a block and soon there were amid the little touch of nature in the middle of a large city.

"This is nice," he muttered, not to anyone in particular.

"Yeah, I missed this." Sasuke leaned over and gave Naruto's cheek a small nuzzle before guiding them down a familiar path. Before Naruto became sick, they would stroll through the park regularly. Many of the joggers and the occasional vender knew them on sight.

But, it was not like before now. He felt almost out of breath and his legs had begun to tremble. It was almost pitiful how quickly he tired, and they were forced to take respite on a bench near a children's playground. Already nannies and mothers were about with toddlers and small children, letting them burn their excess energy off on the slides and jungle gyms. A stray thought shot into his mind at the sight of a little dark headed boy with messy hair.

"Have you ever thought about kids?" He had uttered the question before even considering the words coming from his mouth.

Sasuke started and glanced him, first with surprise and then with a guarded expression. "Kids?"

The can of worms was already opened, no point in stopping now. "Yeah, you know, miniature versions of adults."

"I know what kids are, moron," grumbled Sasuke before turning his gaze back to the playground.

The subject of children had never really come up between them. That looming threat of Naruto's eventual demise always seemed to take precedence in their lives and now with that particular darkness gone, missing aspects of their lives could be addressed. It was strange, he had always wanted children in his life, but never thought he would have any. Being a gay man did not exactly endear him to social services, not to mention his weak heart. For a brief moment, he thought of having a child in their life and the depression that was always in the back of his mind faded.

"Then, have you ever wanted any?"

"What brought this on?"

Naruto gave Sasuke's shoulder a little shove. "Just answer the question."

Sasuke sighed and shrugged. "I never really thought about it. I've never had a long term partner before so having a child was never really a plausible option before now."

"But do you want them?"

Sasuke shook his head and chuckled. "Maybe one day."

Naruto nodded and leaned his head on Sasuke's shoulder. "Yeah, one day."

Maybe by that time, he could come to terms with this darkness that seemed to be festering inside him. There was no way he would bring a child into his life until he found a way to be healthy in more than just body. He prayed that Itachi was right and that this feeling of depression and guilt would fade with time. Sasuke would make a great father. He would be stern, but fair. Naruto could almost see a little girl with dark hair having both her Daddies wrapped around her delicate little fingers or a curious little boy getting into everything and then turning innocent eyes on his parents when he was caught breaking the rules.

"You're thinking hard."

Naruto grinned and shrugged his shoulders. "You know I'm more than just a sexy body."

"Keep telling yourself that," snorted Sasuke.

A chuckle rumbled from Naruto's chest. It hurt a little, but it felt good too. It was like he was in this little bubble created around them, away from the remainder of the world and all his worries.

"Are you tired?"

"Yeah, a little." As much as he hated to admit it, he was exhausted. This short walk had wiped him out. The rest on the bench had given him just enough energy to make it back to the apartment, or at least he hoped so.

They took their time walking back so not to push Naruto's endurance. Such a short distance never seemed so long and he groaned in relief when they reached their building.

"Damn. I hate when Itachi's right." Naruto could not believe how bad his stamina had gotten. He probably couldn't have sex even if he wanted to. Falling asleep on Sasuke during the act was not an option he wanted to dwell on.

"You want something to eat?"

Naruto shook his head and lowered himself slowly to the black leather sofa with its bright orange pillows. Every time he saw them, he giggled. Grabbing one, he hugged it to his chest.

Pain shot outward from his sternum and he released a yelp. He could have slapped himself for forgetting that his chest was still healing.

Sasuke came out of the kitchen with a concerned expression. "Naruto?"

"I'm fine, just wasn't as careful as I should have been."

"You sure?"

A spark of anger was roused in him at the questioning tone. "Yeah, I'm sure. I know when my body is at its limits. I'm not stupid."

Sasuke's eyes widened slightly at his snapped response. Naruto immediately regretted it and brushed past Sasuke and into their bedroom. He was planning on locking himself in the bathroom, but his weakened body worked against him and immediately he was wrapped in warm arms.

"What's wrong?"

Naruto stiffened and fought the urge to struggle. God, he hated this. He hated how he felt and how Sasuke was so wonderful and had stayed by his side through it all, only to be left with someone like him—scarred both physically and emotionally. Why was it so hard for him to make it through this? Why did he feel like he should have died in the hospital?

"Naruto?"

"I'm just tired and my chest hurts."

Sasuke stiffened behind him. "Your heart?"

Naruto couldn't stop the mirthless laugh. "That's the one part of me that doesn't hurt."

At least not physically, he added mentally.

"Would you like one of your pills for the pain?"

Naruto nodded and pulled away, sinking to the bed while Sasuke left to fetch the medication. It was so hard holding back part of himself from Sasuke, but he was too afraid to let him see everything. Sasuke would not leave, but he would hurt along with him, and he did not want that for his lover. Sasuke was his oasis in all this emotional turmoil that he fought to weather.

Two white pills were placed in his hand and concerned eyes watched as he downed them. "Do you want to take a shower? Itachi said it was okay now that your skin has mostly healed."

The word shower perked him up. He had forgotten about bathing after he came home from the hospital yesterday. As much as he enjoyed sponge baths given by Sasuke, a shower sounded so much more enticing.

Sasuke gathered the towels while Naruto adjusted the water temperature. With careful peeling back of the tape, the wound on Naruto's chest was freed from its bandage. He winced as Sasuke stared at his chest with a soft expression.

"Are we bathing, or are you going to stare at my sexiness all night?"

Sasuke met Naruto's eyes and smirked. "Both."

Naruto moved away and stepped into the shower, almost groaning at the pleasure of feeling water running over his entire body. This shower was the second thing of Sasuke's that he fell in love with, the first being Scarlet. Water poured down over him in a heavy shower, washing away the sweat and dried blood. The white tiles showed a bit of pink as the old blood from the scar was washed from his body.

"Feel good?"

"Heaven," he answered and leaned willingly against the slick skin of Sasuke's chest.

Hands reached for a soft sponge and began dragging it across his skin. He moaned a little and went limp at the pure heaven the touch brought him. He had missed their shared showers—a small act of intimacy between them that had stopped when he became too sick to stand.

Shampoo was squirted on his head and then strong hands moved from his body to his hair where they massaged and relaxed him. The strong fingers found every pressure point on his scalp and stimulated them until Naruto was practically boneless, barely able to remain aloft under the assault. Small whimpers and groans escaped him as his mind wandered.

What pulled him back into reality was the press of a hard erection against his ass. He whimpered and pressed back, earning him a groan from deep within Sasuke's chest. His own body was helpless and responded on pure instinct. He was willing to throw Itachi's orders into the wind because he felt so good at that moment and Sasuke pressed to his back felt even better.

Until Sasuke's hand darted around his chest and traced the newly formed scar.

Revulsion and disgust replaced what had once been delightful pleasure. Naruto jerked away and shook his head. "Itachi said not to do anything until he gave the go ahead."

Sasuke looked disappointed. "Since when do you listen to Itachi?"

"Well, I figure he knows what he's talking about and I don't want to screw up anything with this baby. We waited this long, what's a few more weeks."

A sigh escaped Sasuke and he nodded, remaining in the shower after Naruto left the bathroom. Naruto closed his eyes and fought back the distress. This mark on his chest, it represented someone's death and Sasuke touched it as if it was a mark to be treasured. Naruto smeared the ointment on the injury and quickly bandaged it before Sasuke finished up his shower.

He moved into the living room and flipped on the television, more for the noise than any interest in what was being played out on the screen. He heard Sasuke in the bedroom and then felt the warmth of his body against him. Even Sasuke could not ward away the faint chill that took root in Naruto's chest at the thought of the scar on his chest being visible to others.

He leaned his head on Sasuke's shoulder and pushed a contented expression onto his face despite the enteral battle that continued to be waged. "I love you."

Sasuke smiled and dipped his head to kiss Naruto's lips. "Me, too."

an: Sorry, kinda forgot to update this haha. Well, hope you enjoy.