Naruto hovered on that plane between the abyss of sleep and full cognizant wakefulness. It was where he was most at peace. He was not trapped in nightmares, nor was he fully awake to realize the truth of his life and what it had become. Peace alone was in that perfect moment and he struggled desperately to maintain it despite the pull to otherwise.

A warm hand stroked tenderly over the bony protuberance of his hipbone and he sank backward against the body pressed tightly against the flat of his back. The hand teased the sensitive skin just inside the slope of his hip before gliding up and over the flat expanse of his stomach. A barely there giggle rippled from him and he squirmed against the body.

His giggles turned into sighs of pleasure as the searching hand rubbed slow circles around his naval. The natural route of things determined that his response be immediate. His hips ground back and a satisfied rumble rolled from his chest upon feeling the pressing hardness cradled against the rise of his ass. His own body rose to life in response to the touching and complete peace of the moment he was trapped in. It was almost like a dream.

But, like all dreams, such things were quickly dispelled by the light of day, or in his case, the touch of a hand sliding beneath his shirt and up to the scar that bisected his breastbone. Blue eyes shot open and whatever arousal that burned through his bloodstream was lost in the flood of adrenaline that replaced it. Nausea rose thick in the back of his throat with enough potency to cause his nose to burn with the threat.

"Stop," he gasped out and rolled from the bed in a surprisingly smooth motion considering that sleep still held at least a small bit of his mind in its grasp.

"Naruto?"

"Itachi said no funny business until he gives the okay, so we're going to wait. I don't want to screw things up right before I'm in the clear."

Sasuke pushed mussed hair from his eyes and stared at Naruto with a look of resigned acknowledgement. Naruto felt bad for denying him relief. He'd had nothing but his hand for months. That can't feel good considering that he had a warm and nearly healthy lover sleeping pressed tight against him every night.

He just couldn't stand the thought of Sasuke suffering even a little. He still hadn't figured out how he was going to keep Sasuke from looking at the scar on his chest without being obvious about it. Eventually, he would start to wonder what was going on. He figured he would cross that bridge when he reached it. For now, he would do something to help the love of his life find relief from what was likely a painful erection.

"You need some help with that?"

Sasuke's eyes widened faintly and his lips parted. There was no hiding the way his breathing hitched before increasing and the pulse at the base of his throat began to thrum a little more frantically. A faint flush started on his cheeks, darkening with every passing moment. Sasuke was a damn sexy man when he was turned on.

"What about Itachi?"

"Itachi didn't say I couldn't help you out."

Naruto plastered a grin on his face and slid back into bed, fully satisfied with controlling the moment. His hand slid with practiced ease into Sasuke's pajama bottoms and cupped the organ he found. The heat from Sasuke felt as if it was burning a hole through his hand. Sasuke's gasp did little to stop his heart from picking up a beat. He figured as long as he didn't get too excited, he would be able to handle bringing Sasuke off without overworking the new organ in his chest. He was healed enough for that, at least.

Leaning down, he brushed his lips against Sasuke's mouth, tongue darting out to stroke and tease the damp flesh before slipping inside with knowing skill. His hand began an easy rhythm, alternating between pumping and squeezing, just how he knew Sasuke's liked it. It wasn't as great as sex, but he decided that it would be better than Sasuke taking care of the problem alone. Even if it was only a hand job, the intimacy was there all the same.

The moments drifted together, passing in an easy hum as he slowly brought Sasuke to his finish. He was putty in his hands and Naruto savored every moment, forgetting everything but Sasuke and his obvious pleasure at what was being done to him. The orgasm came on as expected and rippled through the body beneath him and into his own to create a delightful heat in groin.

Sasuke heaved a sigh as he went limp on the bed. His dark eyes became hooded with pleasure and his lips parted to pant ever so faintly as he basked in the moment. If Sasuke aroused had been sexy, post-orgasmic Sasuke was even more so.

Naruto extracted his hand and looked at the mess on his palm with amusement. It was just a hand job, but from the way Sasuke was laying on the bed with a completely sated look on his face, he very well might have just finished a wild session of passionate sex.

"Feel good?"

Sasuke released a satisfied hum and closed his eyes, not noticing that the inside of his pajamas were messed with his emissions or just not caring enough to bother removing them immediately. His eyes remained hooded and followed Naruto lazily as he reached for a tissue from the bedside table and wiped at the smeared fluid on his hand.

"To hell with the way to a man's heart being food, sex is obviously the way to yours."

Sasuke snorted and rolled onto his side, pulling Naruto against him. His face burrowed into Naruto's chest and his hand drifted down to the obvious tent in his boxers. "Want me to help?"

"I think I'm good. It's best not to strain my heart until we get the okay from Itachi. Nothing a shower and a piss won't take care of." Naruto leaned down to nuzzle Sasuke's face before rising from the bed and making his way into the bathroom.

It was a harsh debate about whether or not to jump in the shower knowing Sasuke would be quick to follow him. In the end, the call was too much to keep him away. He only hoped to finish or mostly finish before he decided to come in. There was no way him locking Sasuke out of the bathroom would fly for even a moment. When he heard the telephone ring just as he turned the taps, he breathed a sigh of relief. It didn't matter who was calling, they would keep Sasuke busy enough for him to wash quickly and dress before he was joined.

Arranging the temperature at the cool side of comfortable, he allowed the water to do its job and ease away the lingering arousal that arose upon watching Sasuke's pleasure. He did not dare tell Sasuke that he had received the green light for light sex from Itachi just two weeks ago after a quick house call check-up while Sasuke was meeting with his publisher. He wanted to, his body needed that intimacy that sex helped bring into being, but he simply could not bear the thought of Sasuke looking on his chest and seeing the mark that reminded him of what had happened in order for him to live.

Just living each day proved so unbelievably difficult while knowing that someone had died and his heart given to him. People who knew him greeted him and hugged him and praised God for his survival, but they never mentioned the life that had ended so he could live. It was enough to make him sick to his stomach. Even Sasuke rarely broached the topic without cause. On some level, he understood just how uncomfortable it made Naruto and did his best to keep from referring to it.

His hand reached for the body wash and he smiled. Sasuke could be an asshole bastard, but it was the little things he did that made Naruto love him all the more deeply.

With that thought in mind, he made quick work of lathering and rinsing his body. He did not dare look at his chest. Looking at the mark was nearly as bad as others seeing it. Practically being able to read their thoughts by the expressions on their faces was enough to bring about a flush of nausea in him to the point he became physically weak. Bathing became more a chore than a pleasure.

He was finishing up drying his body and had just tugged a clean shirt over his still damp body when Sasuke walked into the bathroom. "Who was on the phone?"

"The travel agent I have arranging our tickets and hotel."

"Oh? Don't tell me we can't go?"

"We're going. In two weeks, we'll be at the beach even if I have to charter a plane to fly us down there."

"And here I thought it was just me that was looking forward to it." Naruto chuckled and stepped forward to hug Sasuke. "I don't know why you are so good to me."

"I don't know either."

"Hey!"

Sasuke chuckled and wrapped his arms around Naruto. "Now, we just need Itachi to sign off on the trip."

"I don't think that will be a problem. He's been slipping comments about it to me for weeks. I think if we didn't go, he would put us on a plane himself."

Sasuke snorted and began stripping his soiled pajamas, tossing them in the clothing hamper as he walked to the shower. "Care to join me?"

"I just got dry," pouted Naruto.

"So?"

With an exaggerated roll of his eyes, Naruto tossed wave to Sasuke. "I'll go start breakfast."

"No bacon," he called.

"What?" Naruto scowled and folded his arms across his chest. "I like bacon at breakfast."

"No bacon," yelled Sasuke over the spray of water. "I mean it."

Naruto stuck out his tongue at Sasuke before walking into the kitchen and opening the fridge. The insides were sparse, neither having the will to go shopping during the last week. Half a gallon of milk, three eggs, and a few Ensure drinks along with various condiments were all that remained inside. It would be either cold cereal or ketchup for breakfast.

Cereal did not appeal to him, so he grabbed a pad from the counter and scribbled out a note for Sasuke before grabbing his wallet and heading out the door. Sasuke would be pissed that he left with only a note, but hell, chances were that Sasuke would still be primping in the bathroom by the time he returned with some food. His lover, smart man that he was, took forever in the bathroom. The showers alone tended to be long and leisurely, but it was the styling of his hair that seemed to last forever. Naruto doubted even women took as long to get ready as his lover.

He thanked the powers that be for the natural messy look that he sported. No amount of primping could make sense of his messy blond hair. He toweled it dry and let it ride, occasionally working in some mousse to add a false styled messy look when he and Sasuke went out. Even that look did not look all that much different from the way he normally wore it.

Stepping into the elevator, he gave a rueful smile. The last few weeks had been rough as he worked to build back his stamina. He wouldn't be running any marathons for a while, but at least he could walk down to the local bakery without too much trouble. Standing in line was an annoyance, but seeing as the sweets found there were the best in the town, he figured it was worth it.

As he walked back to the apartment, his arms were loaded down with several bags of bagels and cream cheese, some fresh Danish of various flavors, and the absolutely best cherry strudel anywhere in the city. He could already see Sasuke's annoyed features in his mind and grinned with delight. He felt almost himself again and wondered if he was finally reaching that point of where he would begin to heal emotionally as well as physically.

"Naruto!"

He barely had time to register his name being called before arms wrapped around him and forced him to do some fast juggling to keep his goodies from being smashed against his chest. It took only a moment before he recognized the wild blond hair and rather strong, yet soft body. When it did, his free arm wrapped around her and happiness flowed through him.

"Temari?"

The woman pulled back with a tearful grin. "I've missed you."

"I can tell. Fancy meeting you here...in the lobby of my apartment building."

The woman snorted and shrugged. "Stop being a shit. I was coming to see you, but when I saw you come in the building, all my restraint evaporated. I couldn't control myself. You're like a little brother to me. When you were in the hospital, I was so scared I would lose you while you."

The words 'like Gaara' were omitted from the statement, but were quite visible to both of them. Naruto hadn't known Gaara other than as the reason she started up the suicide help line. There was a picture of her with both her brothers on her desk and it was well known that her dead brother was the inspiration for the work she did. That was all he knew about the brother who committed suicide and rocked their family to the core.

"It's been a while. I got your flowers. I figured I'd see you before now, though."

She sighed. "Work has really started picking up. We received a grant and have had to hire and train dozens of volunteers. I've been working eighteen hour days for weeks now. I was lucky to have the time to even send you flowers when you were in the hospital. Sasuke was nice enough to call and let me know a heart came and that you went through the surgery."

"I'm glad things are growing. We've needed more people for a long time."

Temari smiled and wrapped an arm around Naruto's shoulders. "You know your job is still yours when you feel up to it. I've missed my best volunteer. You have a real talent for talking people down from dangerous situations."

Naruto smiled and shifted his gaze away from her. How could he tell her that working with people on the razor's edge was not something he thought he should do considering his own emotional problems? "Maybe after I completely heal I'll give you a call."

She looked on him; eyes that had learned to see behind hidden truths stared into him and for a moment, he worried that she might ferret out the truth of his worries. "You know, you don't have to be strong."

"Huh?"

"Gaara hid his pain from us and we chose to ignore the small bits that escaped. You might think you're protecting people, but it only hurts them in the end."

Naruto swallowed around the lump in his throat. "Temari..."

"I'm not going to pry, because it's something you have to do yourself, but just remember if you need someone to talk to, you have my number."

"Are you telling me to call the helpline?" he half-joked.

She released a small snort and patted his head. "I'm telling you that if you need someone who will listen, call me. I learned how to do that after it was too late."

"You don't have to worry." Naruto leaned his head on her shoulder and sighed. "Now, would you like to come up and eat pastries with me and Sasuke?"

She shook her head and pulled away. "I only stopped by on my way to work; besides, eating all that will make me fat."

Naruto took in her body, hard muscles created from time in a gym and a tall, strong build. There was not an ounce of fat on her. He doubted fifty Danish would fatten her up, but let her go with a final hug and wave. She was a good friend. He thought about her offer and how she had seen through him almost instantly. In some ways, he supposed her tragic relationship with her brother had opened her eyes to look beneath what was obvious and into the real truth. It gave him some things to think of.

His emotional turmoil was reaching a head. It felt like he was lying to Sasuke with every word that passed his lips. Each half-truth compounded on one another until he was having difficulty seeing the end of the tunnel.

Shaking away his morose thoughts, he pushed open the door to the apartment and saw an annoyed Sasuke standing there in wait. "Why did you leave without me?"

Anger flared inside him at the words. "I didn't know I needed your permission."

Sasuke held up Naruto's phone which had been left on the bedside table when he left. "You could have at least taken your phone?"

"I walked down the block to the bakery. I didn't think I'd need it."

"That's just it, you don't think." Sasuke flung the phone onto the sofa. "What if something had happened? You wouldn't have had any way to call for help."

Naruto shook his head and stalked past Sasuke into the kitchen. "Well, excuse me for thinking some nice person on the sidewalk would stop to call help for me. It's not like I was walking a deserted road at night."

Slamming the bags of sweets on the table, he turned to face his lover. "Fuck, Sasuke. I'm not a child. The heart is fucking fine...I am fucking fine. You don't have to treat me like an invalid anymore...or maybe that's what you want. Maybe you liked it while I was dying. You liked taking care of me and now that I'm getting better, you're losing your sick little lover."

He was sure he had never seen Sasuke that angry. When Sasuke got angry, really angry, he became quiet—very much unlike Naruto who became louder. The Sasuke standing before him was unmoving and silent. The only true sign of his anger was the way his jaw jumped with the effort to keep himself in check.

Naruto never thought for a moment that Sasuke would strike him, but when Sasuke got like this, it was almost scary. His heart stuttered in his chest and while he regretted the words spoken in frustration, he could not say they were complete fabrications. They were one of many thoughts that seemed to rise inside him lately. The validity of them seemed farfetched and yet, they still rose to the surface.

"Is that what you think?"

Naruto started at Sasuke's words. His heart trembled and as he stared into his eyes, he could see the anger was fading, leaving only hurt. With a sigh, he shook his head. Sasuke loved him for him, not because he was healthy or sick. He knew this with every fiber in his being.

"Then, why did you say them?"

Naruto stepped forward and wrapped his arms around Sasuke's chest, burying his face in the warmth of his shoulder. "I don't know. I was so angry."

"Why?"

"Because, you act like I can't do anything myself when we both know I can. I wasn't even tired from walking down the street. The reason I took so long was because I ran into Temari and we talked for a few minutes before she went to work. I'm sorry that you were worried."

"I'm just scared of losing you."

"I'm not going anywhere."

He felt Sasuke sigh followed by the soothing touch of arms wrapping around him. "I'm having a hard time realizing that."

Pulling back, he stared up at Sasuke's face and attempted a grin. He was at least half successful at the attempt. "Sasuke Uchiha is having trouble with something? Will wonders never cease?"

"Shut up. I've had nothing, but trouble since the day I met you."

Naruto snickered and pressed his head back to Sasuke's shoulder. "Is that what they call it?"

"That is exactly what I call it."

Closing his eyes, he sighed against the spot where Sasuke's neck met his shoulder. "Sometimes, I wonder how we ever got together."

"I seem to recall we got together because I saw you as you landed on your ass while being literally thrown out of my brother's office."

Naruto's lips quirked and he snickered again. "Not my most graceful moment."

"Look on the bright side. It caught my attention."

A thought occurred to him at Sasuke's words. "Did it?"

"You looked so put out. It was almost cute. It's not every day that one sees someone being tossed out of a building by beefy security guards."

He was silent for a moment. "Sasuke, would you have noticed me if I hadn't made such a spectacle?"

"Oh, I'm certain. Hair as bright as yours doesn't come by often."

"I'm serious. If I had just walked calmly from that building the day we met, would you have even given me a second look or stopped me so we could talk and then have lunch and then go on dates? Would we be together right now if I had just walked past you?"

Sasuke pulled Naruto's head from his shoulders and pressed their lips together. Their teeth clashed and their tongues slid together in a familiar dance. As they pulled apart, gazes met.

"Don't think about what could have been. The only thing that matters is what we have now. That's all I care about. I met you. I'm with you now, flaws and all."

Naruto smiled, though his heart ached. "I guess."

Sasuke arched a brow. "Besides, knowing you, you would have fucked up somehow and drawn my attention even if things had not gone the way they did."

"You're an asshole, you know that, right?"

"And yet, you stay with me. What does that make you?"

Naruto rolled his eyes. "Don't say it."

"Don't say what?"

"What you're thinking."

"What? Oh, you mean the 'i' word?"

"Like I said, an asshole." Naruto plopped down into a chair and pulled out the box of cherry strudel. "Now, I'm pissed that I actually got you some bagels. I should make you eat Danish."

Sasuke smiled and pulled open the bag of bagels. "And, I should beat you for getting sugary food like that."

"Yeah, bite me."

Leaning forward with a smirk on his face, Sasuke pressed his lips to Naruto's ear. "As soon as Itachi gives me the okay, you bet your ass I'll be biting you. I plan on devouring every inch of you the first chance I get."

Heat rushed through Naruto and he groaned around the mouthful of pastry. "You're a cruel, cruel man."

"So you say." Sasuke began spreading cream cheese over the bagel. "But, you love me anyway."

"Sometimes I wonder."

It was moments like these that kept him going during the bad times. They were so simple and yet complicated in their own right. He could not hold back the whisper of doubt and fear that wormed its way through him. Would he ever be able to overcome the feelings of guilt and self-hatred? It hurt so much, but to save Sasuke from being forced to deal with it, he held it in, dreading and praying for the day when he was forced to come clean about his feelings.

"It's a new start for us, Naruto."

"What is?"

"The trip. We get a second chance and that is the first sign of actually taking it."

"A second chance?" he whispered. Dare he hope that it would be so easy? Could he so easily wipe away the emotions eating away at him?

"Make sure you clear everything with Itachi. I know he said he wanted to do a final series of blood work on you before letting us go off. I'm going to finalize our plans. Maybe if we have a chance while we're down there, I can introduce you to a longtime friend of the family."

Sasuke stood and threw away his trash before leaning down and pressing a kiss to Naruto's head. Naruto watched as he left him in the kitchen to his thoughts. Itachi had told him that they could have sex and yet, he refused to step through that gate. He needed more time to come to terms with his life. Sasuke deserved for him to be whole, not just physically, but also emotionally.

He had two weeks. He could do it for Sasuke. He could overcome this for Sasuke. He would overcome it. Like Sasuke said, it was a new beginning and maybe there might be a chance for happiness for the both of them.