Katsu left for her room as Yamea's funeral ended.

"Katsu."

Katsu knew the voice to be Captain Hitsugaya' ignored him and continued walking.

"Katsu you can't just walk away from your problems,I'm trying to help you-"

"Fuck off! I don't need your help! You didn't bother trying to help Yamea so don't bother trying to help me!" She yelled before she slipped into her room and sat against the felt like crying again but had long since cried all the tears she waited a few hours to make sure no one would come in or try to bother reached into it's hiding place and pulled out the blade she had thought she would never need put the cold metal to her wrist and slid it across her did this over and over,not caring about how much blood she was losing. Soon she passed out. She did this for the next few ,crying,bleeding and passing out. And every day Toshiro would try and talk to her but she ignored him,she stopped eating, stopped sleeping unless she passed out, she had given up all together.

Toshiro walked over to Katsu's room to check on her like he did frequently knowing he would be ignored but wouldn't stop knocked on her door hesitantly.

"Katsu? Are you ok?"

Katsu ignored him Like she usually would.

"Katsu." He said a bit more authoritative this waited until he heard a sigh and footsteps.

She slid the door was shocked at Katsu's appearance.

She was much thinner than she was the last time he had saw face was pale and her eyes had dark bags under them.

"What the hell do you want?" She growled.

"Katsu,whether you like it or 's dead,but you still have to carry out your duties as a soul reaper."

Katsu's eyes narrowed.

" I understand she's dead.I understand there's nothing I can do about what you don't seem to understand is the fact that it's MY FAULT!" She yelled running past her captain and flash stepping away. Toshiro sighed rubbing a tired hand across his face before running off to find where Katsu had went before she hurt herself.

Katsu sat on the edge of the felt tears swell in her eyes.

"Katsu.."

Katsu turned around to see Captain glared at him and stood to leave.

"Katsu,please don't leave.I just want to talk." Toshiro said with a pleading look as he reached out and placed a desperate hand on her shoulder.

Katsu thought about it before sitting back down slowly staring back out over the edge.

Captain Hitsugaya smiled in relief and walked over and sat beside her.

'Listen..I'm sorry.I didn't mean to be so rude about it..I was just worried about haven't come out of your room in months and I just..I missed you.." He mumbled the last part quietly.

Katsu was surprised by what he said.

"But..Why would anyone miss me? I'm a bitch to everyone! And..And the one friend I had...I couldn't save or protect her…"

Toshiro winced at the pure sadness and self hate that was evident in her voice. The emotions also came off her in thick waves, It made him feel sick to his stomach at the thought of one person carrying this much guilt.

"Katsu,She knew it was a possibility to die by becoming a soul reaper but she did it I'm positive that she is proud of died protecting you and I know she wouldn't have wanted it to end any other way."

'Really?" Katsu asked looking up at him from the corner of her eye as her face let a glimmer of hope pass it.

"To were this,powerful,inteligent admired you,that's probably the reason she fought so hard to befirend 's always wanted it to be her protecting wanted to show you she could do proud of her for that."

Katsu looked down. 'That's the whole reason I'm so mean and cold to that if I didn't have any friends.I couldn't be hurt, and no one would be hurt by me. Yamea pushed through my defences and made made me so happy and had been the only one who tried to make it 's how I knew she was a real the others shrugged me off,hated me,or was scared of me,Yamea was probably ready to do all three but pushed until she broke through my for that I can never forget her."

Katsu sighed as she looked sun was just starting to go down.

"Katsu...I..I…" Toshiro didn't know how to put it.

"You what Captain?"

Toshiro looked down and smirked to himself. "I..I love you...I always have.I just haven't known how to tell 's why I've felt so protective over you."

Katsu stared at him wide eyed.

'He loved me too?!'

"Captain..I've always loved you too.I just didn't realize you had the same feelings.I've wanted to tell I feared being rejected..That's really the only reason I could never be cold,or distant towards you like I could everyone else.." She said looking down and blushing lightly. "At first I had just extremely admired you.I looked up to then when I was assigned to your quad and got to know you admiration grew…"

Katsu hadn't had enough time to confirm what was happening when Toshiro reached over and kissed her was shocked at first before leaning into the kiss and closing her two soon pulled apart and blushed.

"I-I'm sorry." Hitsugaya said.

"It's fine Captain-"

" 's Toshiro,to you." He said smirking.

Katsu smiled "Alright,Toshiro."

Toshiro smiled and slipped his fingers through hers and held her hand.

Katsu smiled and leaned against him. "Captain-I mean- Toshiro?"

Toshiro turned to look at her. 'Yes?"

"Does this mean..we're..you know...-"

"Dating? does mean that."

Katsu smiled and nuzzled him smiled and leaned against her too. The two of them sat there and talked.

" should we talk about next?We've talked about the pretty basic ,dislikes, else?" Katsu asked looking up at Toshiro now that she was lying in his lap.

"I don't about we quit talking and just enjoy looking at the sky?The stars are brighter tonight."

Katsu nodded and looked up at the sky and smiled.

"Toshiro?" Katsu asked quietly.

"Yes?"

"What if..What if I had a habit...One that causes harm..Would you still love me?"

Toshiro was confused. "What do you mean?" He asked as he thought of what she said.

Katsu sat up and faced him. "What if..What if.." She couldn't find the words to looked down at her saw this and put the pieces together.

"Katsu,let me see your arm."

Katsu's head shot up. "W-Why?I-I'm fine-"

He ignored her protests and grabbed her arm pulling up the eyes widened at all the scars. Some of them were raised and angry while some were already healed, there were fresh ones scattering the lower part of her arm. Toshiro noted that none were close to her vein. "K-Katsu…"

Katsu took her arm back and looked down pulling her sleeves lower. Toshiro looked at her and hugged her. "Katsu...promise me...You'll never do this again."

Katsu looked up surprised by his words before nodding. "I promise."

Toshiro smiled and gently kissed the scars on her wrists. "Come on,you should get some sleep." Toshiro told her.

Katsu nodded and stood with Toshiro.

Toshiro walked her back to her room and kissed her goodbye.

Katsu smiled as Toshiro smiled and fell asleep,no nightmares came that night.