A./N.: This chapter actually ran away with me. It just flowed out of me and ended up waaaaay over the mark of what I originally had in mind … but oh well. Soooo, yeah, I'm not so sure about this chapter, and my Beta isn't feeling well, but I still thought I upload it. Hope it's not too bad. Leave a review please.

Oh, How Lovely We Burn

A few days after this peaceful encounter saw Mrs Hughes nervously adjusting her scarf around her neck. Her fingers were trembling as she re-tied it for the umpteenth time. She could hardly focus on the task at hand, being too wrapped up in her thoughts. In fact she was as nervous as she had been the first day out of her room after the attack. She could still remember the conversation she had had with Beryl about meeting the staff after her attack – and one staff member in particular. She had healed by then, only a few bruises still visible but thankfully fading. Only her friends had been admitted into her room. Lady Grantham had been adamant that any problem arising in the house would be brought to her attention instead of Mrs Hughes', that the housekeeper was to rest and be left in peace. Mrs Crawley and Lady Grantham had taken turns in the first few days to watch over the other woman while Lady Sybil had quietly stayed in the room, only leaving it for an hour at most and only when ordered by her mother. It had been incredibly hard to find the courage to go down the many flights of stairs and submit herself to the stares of everyone downstairs.

oOoOoOo

"Oh, Beryl, I can't face Mr Carson. I just can't," Elsie whispered, shuddering at the very thought. "And what will the girls say when they see me? How can I look them in the eyes?"

Beryl sighed sadly and took a hold of her friend's hand, trying to give her the strength to return to her life again. "You have to, Elsie, sooner or later you have to," she said softly. Of course, it was natural for Elsie to shy away from other people, but hiding away in her room and constantly reliving what had been done to her wouldn't – couldn't possibly help her.

"But he will be disgusted by me, don't you see. He will think me weak and soiled. They all will," Elsie's voice was barely audible and let Beryl see what all this really was about. The older woman frowned a little. Elsie was afraid of facing her friend – the man she had secretly loved for longer than Beryl could remember – and all this was to stall for time. She hoped she could reassure her somewhat.

"Elsie, you know better than that. Mr Carson will never think that of you. You have to face him, get it over with. You have to get on with your life," she said earnestly, locking her gaze sternly with her friend's and raising an eyebrow at her. She knew that Elsie was strong and, once she had made up her mind, could face anything, had done so innumerable times during her employment here at the Abbey.

"That is easy for you to say …"Elsie started angrily, but was cut off by Beryl again.

"You have to, Elsie, or this brute has won. I know …"Beryl wanted to reassure her friend, realizing that she might be a little hard on the other woman, but this time Elsie whirled around, angrily facing her. Beryl could see a tiny spark of fire in her friend's eyes. She took a step back as Elsie let go of a tiny part of her anger.

"No! You don't know. You can't know what this feels like." Her voice was higher than normal and loudly rang out through the attic corridor. Beryl hadn't been raped, had no idea how devastated one felt afterwards. Elsie's eyes filled with tears and she hid her face in her hands. She wouldn't wish any of this on her worst enemy, let alone the woman who was almost like a second sister to her. "I'm so sorry," she whispered brokenly, her voice having lost its strength and her anger vanishing into thin air. These rapid up and downs of her mood were taking a toll on her feeble grasp on her emotions.

"No, no, I don't know," Beryl admitted quietly, her own tears spilling down her cheeks. "But that I do know, Elsie Hughes, you are stronger than this. Charles has always admired your strength, so have your girls. We all love you, Elsie, and none of us thinks any less of you now."

Elsie lifted her head a little and peeked at her friend. She drew a deep breath and tried to find the strength her friend had mentioned. She straightened her shoulders and raised her head … it was a pale imitation of the confidence she had felt before, but it was all she could muster at the moment. Maybe it would become easier with time and she would find her former self again. And so Elsie had gone downstairs to face the stares of the staff as bravely as she could.

oOoOoOo

They were on their way to church, as was their tradition every Sunday. Again Elsie walked on Charles' arm – and yet it couldn't be any more different from all the other times if it tried. They were walking together as an engaged couple and in church today their banns would be read. Elsie felt a million butterflies take flight in her stomach. Nervously she tightened her grip on Charles' arm and snuggled a little closer into his side. With a tender smile, Charles drew her to him and stroked her small hand with his big, warm one. He smiled reassuringly down on her. His head was held high and he walked with confidence, having his beloved Elsie, the woman who was to be his wife in a short three weeks, on his arm. Elsie had to smile shyly at his proud behaviour. She felt her own confidence rise as she walked by his side.

With a look behind her she knew why her confidence was slowly returning. They were leading the rest of the staff to the village and Church and the young ones were laughing, joking and teasing each other much the same as they had always done. Charles' words returned to her – "They still respect you and think you are a strong woman. Of course, they worry about you." She had seen for herself that her girls had become very quiet and introverted. At first she had believed them to be disappointed in her and uncomfortable around her, not knowing how to treat her now. After her conversation with Charles and with the reaction of the staff to the news of their impending marriage, Elsie now knew that her girls had worried about her nonstop these last weeks. They had wanted to be there for her and hadn't known how they could be.

oOoOoOo

The entire staff of Downton had assembled in the servants' hall, waiting for the big announcement Mr Carson wanted to make to them. Since a number of them had been in the Entrance Hall during the meeting with Lord and Lady Grantham, everyone already knew what he was about to say. Anna stood next to Mr Bates and could hardly hold on to her excitement. She was smiling absent-mindedly and had clasped her hands together in front of her lap. Mr Bates smiled himself, but not so much about the good news they would hear shortly than more about seeing Anna positively radiating happiness. All the female staff were either smiling or had tears in their eyes.

Daisy stood next to Mrs Patmore, clasping the older woman's arm with her small hands, and was chattering away excitedly. "We will have to bake a wedding cake for her. It has to be the best and biggest we have ever made."

Mrs Patmore chuckled and nodded good-naturedly, humouring her young kitchen maid. Ms O'Brien, on the other hand, was more pragmatic.

"She will begin to show then," she said slowly, deliberately, "and her dresses will be a bit tight then." Anna bristled and was about to retort angrily, when Ms O'Brien continued thoughtfully, "I wonder if she would allow me to make her a wedding dress …"

For the first time the voices, rising after this quiet statement, were not shouting the lady's maid down or making derogatory remarks, but a veritable storm of agreement and help-offerings was let loose. Gwen surprised everyone, including herself and Ms O'Brien, by throwing her arms around the older woman and hanging on, laughing.

Unbeknownst to them all, their superiors were standing in the corridor outside the servants' hall, hearing every word. Elsie's eyes widened as she listened to the kind words of her girls and heard the general well wishes of all the staff. Ms O'Brien's words brought tears to her eyes since the younger woman usually was the one who fought her authority most. She leaned against the wall for her knees threatened to give out on her and she pressed a hand to her wildly beating heart.

Charles' heart swelled with pride and gratitude for the people he worked with. Seeing Elsie so obviously overcome with emotion, he could have kissed each and every girl on the cheek in gratitude. His beloved Elsie was finally seeing the depth of devotion, friendship and love everyone had for her, the family upstairs and their family downstairs. He leaned forward, resting one of his large hands on the wall next to her head, and closed the distance between them. Gently he covered Elsie's lips with his, slanting his mouth over hers. His kiss was gentle and full of love. Slowly he teased her lips and nibbled on her bottom lip with his teeth, drawing a faint gasp from Elsie. Her eyes were closed and he could see how much a little kiss like that affected her.

Elsie felt light-headed and a little dizzy from the kiss. Her cheeks flushed and the warmth slowly spread throughout her body. She didn't want the kiss to end, feeling butterflies erupt in her stomach. This was oh so different from everything she had ever experienced before. Her knees turned into jelly and her heart rate increased. The feelings in her body were overwhelming …

"I wonder what's keeping them." Mrs Patmore's voice floated out of the servants' hall.

Charles stepped back hastily with a guilty expression on his face, drawing a soft chuckle from Elsie. He mock-scowled at her, but couldn't be really angry at her for the sound of her happiness and amusement was music to his ears.

oOoOoOo

Now their young charges followed them to the village, light at heart again and joyfully making the most of the sunny, if somewhat chilly, day. She chuckled softly, seeing William gallantly and in an exasperate fashion over his arm first to Gwen and then his other to Daisy. For once he completely ignored Thomas and his sulking. Anna and Mr Bates were walking side by side, conversing amiably and in a world of their own oblivious to the others. What really lifted her heart, though, was Ms O'Brien being drawn into the group and for once seemingly enjoyed herself, being silly with the others. Maybe – just maybe this whole nightmare had caused something good to happen also.

In companionable silence they walked on, enjoying their newfound closeness and Elsie closed her eyes for the moment soaking up the peace and quiet, only occasionally interrupted by the laughter or whoops of the younger ones in their group. Charles observed her happily, he in turn soaking up the relaxed, carefree image of her. He could feel her relaxation and calm through the connection of their interlinked arms and smiled happily. For him everything was right in the world as long as his darling lass was smiling.

As they arrived at the church he stopped outside and drew Elsie to his side. Both watched the 'children' go past them and taking their seats in the back rows of the small village church. Elsie could see the indulgent smile on Charles' face and couldn't help an answering smile appearing on her own lips.

"Now what are you smiling about, Mr Carson?" she asked teasingly, a merry twinkle in her eyes.

"Oh, I don't know, Mrs Hughes," Charles teased back, "could have something to do with having a beautiful woman on my arm today and from here on out for the rest of my life." He extracted his arm from hers and gently grasped her hand, bringing it up to his lips and pressing a little kiss to its back. "I wanted to catch you for a moment alone before we go in," he whispered softly to her.

Elsie blushed deeply, but a shy smile curled her lips. "We are about to enter a church, Mr Carson," she whispered in turn and blushed even more deeply.

Charles chuckled and quite a few very naughty images sprang to mind how you could intensify that lovely blush on her cheeks, but for now he refrained from it … reluctantly. "I wanted to give you something before we go in and … well, and face the music, so to speak," he explained himself.

Elsie became more serious all of a sudden and focussed her attention on his next words. Was he having second thoughts? What else could it be?

"I realize that I didn't go about our engagement properly," Charles said softly, cupping Elsie's cheek in his other hand, stroking it with his thumb.

He could see Elsie biting her bottom lip nervously and groaned quietly at that sight. The things this woman could do to him … and she was completely oblivious to the effect she had on his libido. He released her cheek again and slowly took a step back, before carefully lowering himself to one knee in front of her. His heart was pounding in his ears and he felt like his collar was choking him, suddenly feeling terribly flushed and as if he was burning up inside. Elsie's reaction wasn't helping his nervousness. She gasped in sudden recognition, the hand he wasn't holding coming up to cover her mouth.

"Elsie Hughes, you have accepted my hand in marriage and have made me the happiest man on earth. I promise you to protect you, love you, and honour you for as long as I live," Charles spoke solemnly, meaning each and every word with every fibre of his being. "Please accept this small token of my love and promise." Made nervous by her silence and wide eyes, Charles' fingers trembled a little as he withdrew a simple silver ring from the pocket of his waistcoat. It was a band of solid silver with the Scottish thistle and English rose lovingly intertwined in a never-ending circle around the ring.

Elsie felt tears well up in her eyes. She nodded feebly, having lost her voice. Her right hand dropped from her mouth and she held it trembling up before him. "Yes, Charles," she said at last hoarsely through her tears of happiness,, "The answer is always yes."

Charles he released the breath he had been holding and a beaming smile broke out over his face. Happily he got up and gently slipped the ring over Elsie's finger. Now holding both of her hands, he gently drew her closer to him and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"I love you, my darling lass," he murmured before his lips lowered to meet hers.

When Charles and Elsie sat down in their usual places in church their emotions were back under control, but there was an undeniable blush in Mrs Hughes' cheeks and a proud smirk on Mr Carson's lips. Before any of the staff could inquire what had kept their superiors or Beryl tease her friend that he seemed overly cheerful for church, the service began and they had to wait until they could satisfy their curiosity. Mr Travis came up to the pulpit and gravely made the first announcement of this Sunday's service.

"I publish the banns of marriage between Elsie Hughes of Downton parish and Charles Carson of Downton parish. This is the first time of asking. If any of you know cause or just impediment why these two persons should not be joined together in Holy Matrimony, ye are to declare it."

A murmur went through the congregation from the village and a few even turned their heads back to eye the butler and housekeeper of the Abbey. They were met by the calm, but nevertheless warning gazes of the male members of the Abbey's staff. Mr Bates calmly sat behind Mr Carson and only raised an eyebrow at some of the shopkeepers, daring them to say anything. Thomas gave off the air of boredom, but flexed his hands in plain sight. Young William only gazed solemnly at his parents and some of their friends, silently asking them what they would have done.

Elsie was unaware of what was going on around her. As the announcement had begun she had bowed her head to hide her face and not have to face any incredulous stare. She hoped she didn't ruin Charles' reputation in this village where he had been born and had grown up, where his friends lived.

Mr Travis cleared his throat loudly, causing some to jump and hastily avert their gazes back to the pulpit. Then the sermon began and soon everyone was either avidly following the speech or fighting sleep, depending on their religiousness.

Elsie, usually one of the avid listeners, was having trouble to follow the sermon. Again the tiredness of early pregnancy was catching up with her. She fought to keep her eyes open and focussed on the beautiful ring Charles had put on her finger, but her vision blurred slightly and she felt a tightness around her chest as she remembered the last Sunday she had spent in this church just a mere week ago.

oOoOoOo

Elsie was sitting in her usual spot in church, only half listening to the Reverend's sermon. Her focus was more on the man sitting quietly next to her. It was the closest she and Charles had been in a very long while. Yes, it was true. She had avoided him like the plague ever since … since then. She felt wretched because of it, but couldn't help it. Everything was confusing. She was scared of his touch, but also craving it to make her feel better. Of course she would never be able to tell him that … she wouldn't even know how to.

"Repent your sins or you will burn in Hell!"

The Reverend's voice was loud and cutting, breaking through Elsie's muddled thoughts, and she gasped. Did he speak of her? How did he know? Suddenly her heart beat faster and she had trouble breathing. She was starting to hyperventilate. Her breath was coming in short, uncontrolled bursts and she suddenly felt the urge to be sick, to get some of this anxiety out of her system. Black spots started to appear before her eyes and panic settled around her heart, then suddenly she heard a deep roaring sound in her ears and everything went stark black.

Charles saw Mrs Hughes' growing distress, trying desperately to conceal it, and wondered how he could take her outside without anybody noticing. Before he could reach a decision, he felt Mrs Hughes shudder violently next to him and then slumping away from him, her eyes rolling back into her head. Without conscious thought Charles leapt out of his seat and snaked one strong arm around her middle and grabbed the back of their pew with the other for balance, neatly catching her in his arms before she hit the floor.

"Mrs Hughes!" he shouted into the sacred silence of the church.

Dr Clarkson jumped up from his seat in the second row and hastened over to them. Lord Grantham had also risen from his seat and strode over with Matthew in tow. Isobel Crawley had gotten up from her seat, but was waiting for instruction from the doctor … which she quickly received.

Calmly Dr Clarkson took Mrs Hughes' pulse and checked her breathing. Since both were a little irregular, but not frighteningly so, he ordered, "Mrs Crawley, I ask you for your assistance. Could you please go to the hospital and prepare a bed for Mrs Hughes." Isobel left immediately only casting one glance back at her new friend. "Mr Carson, may I ask you to accompany me to the hospital and to carry Mrs Hughes?" Dr Clarkson asked formally.

Charles properly picked Mrs Hughes up and then tenderly rearranged her in his arms so her head was lying against his shoulder. He nodded towards the doctor and then followed him out of church.

oOoOoOo

Today Elsie wasn't feeling a bottomless void opening up before her, but rather she felt another peculiar sensation in the pit of her stomach. It was some sort of swirling notion and Elsie hesitantly placed her hand on her stomach, hoping to calm her nerves … or whatever it meant.

Charles saw her out of the corner of his eyes and tenderly placed his big palm over her small hand, smiling down into her lovely blue eyes as she looked up.