Chapter 1 :- In the Darkness I saw her
I wanted to see you again, touch you, know who you were, see if I would find you identical with the ideal image of you which had remained with me and perhaps shatter my dream with the aid of reality.
-Claude Frollo
― Victor Hugo, The Hunchback Of Notre Dame
It is dark the first time he sees her. But even the darkness can't hide the look of determination in her eyes. And that very determination can't mask the fear that lies beneath. Leonard Snart thinks it's the most beautiful thing he's ever seen.
Her hazel eyes are hard and cold but they aren't fixed on him. Her gaze is locked on the scarlet speedster on the ground. Snart only has a moment to admire those expressive eyes before he has to return his attention to the bigger problem. The superior weapon aimed in his direction is worthy of dragging his attention away from her, if only for a second. The younger man holds the gun with shaking hands, probably because he never held a gun before.
He makes the threat in a quivering voice, unsure whether he can act out his word but Snart doesn't want to play Russian roulette with these people. So he does the logical thing, he concedes. He knows all too well what emotions can do to a person and emotions are running high right now. A physical altercation with these people is not in his manifesto at the moment. He knows better than to start something, because it's when you back the snake into the corner that it strikes.
So with a resigned sigh, Snart lowers his own freeze gun. He gives the speedster one parting look before making his way off the train tracks. The young man with the gun tells him something but Snart just ignores him. As he walks past the makeshift rescue team his eyes linger on the brunette again. The fear mixed with determination has dissipated from her eyes and the look of relief take over. He wishes he could get the look of fear back into her eyes. They were quite beautiful when filled with fear.
Her soft pink lips have stretched into a thin, weak smile directed again at the speedster lying on the ground. Snart dislikes the look of respite instantly. Relief is a fickle emotion, volatile in every way and fleeting. Impulsiveness and emotions go hand in hand. He had never had time for such trivial things like emotions.
He sees that she is the first to rush over to the fallen super hero.
No one is paying attention to him so no one sees him stumble over a piece of the metal track when the brunette speaks.
"Are you all right?" she queries.
Her voice is soft and comforting, just as he imagined it would be. It caresses his ears like a melody. Snart tries to imagine what it would sound like to have his name tumble from her perfect lips. To have her concern directed at him. He wonders if it would send shiver down his spine to hear the syllables of his name being formed by her luscious lips. With each steps he takes her voices becomes less distinct and Snart fights the urge to turn around and go back, even if it is to simply hear her voice again.
Snart doesn't catch her name but her image has ingrained itself in his subconscious permanently. If he closes his eyes he can see her perfectly. He can picture her rosy pink lips curled up in a smile directed towards him. He can see how the dim street lamp reflects on her brown tresses and the way they tumble down her back and lay gently on her shoulders. Her expressive hazel eyes will haunt his waking dreams now.
He yearns now to know her name.
Leonard Snart is a procurer of beautiful things, of precious things, of valuable unique things that hold some meaning. He has no love for a prosaic world but he is not a wastrel. He has learned to adore that which is in his possession. He is a connoisseur of the finer things in life and appreciates beauty in all its forms. If he sees something he likes he takes it. He doesn't care how he gets it but if he must have it, he will get it. He does whatever needs to be done to obtain that which he desires.
She is a being of unmatched beauty in his eyes.
A deity worthy of his eternal worship.
A creature that this grimy dirty world is unfit to behold.
She is a treasure and a possession worth having.
She has now been added to his list of wants.
His walk back to his safe house is quiet, uneventful. People walk pass him and don't spare a second glance in his direction. This is how Snart likes it. To blend into the background, never catch anyone's attention, be one with the masses. Living his life by that principle had made his life simple; has made his job so much easier.
However, for the first time in his life he wants to be noticed, if only by her. Snart wants her full attention on him. He wants her reason to breathe to be him. He wants to be the sun around which her world orbits. He wants her to need him like she needs oxygen to live, because like a moth to a flame he is drawn to her.
It is irrational this sudden feeling of yearning. In all his life Leonard Snart has never cared much for the opposite sex. To fulfill primal urges, yes they have been useful, but they have never held a place in his thoughts. They were like tools, to be used when there was a need for them. So this sudden, all- consuming feeling towards a woman whose name he did not even know, well it was highly irrational. But he cannot drive this feeling away. He sees her image every time he blinks. He hears her voice above the cacophony of the city. He wants to know her name, wants her to know his. Although he is sure she already does if his reputation is anything to go by.
Snart is so engrossed in his thoughts that he fails to realise that he has already reached his safe house. He take refuge in an old ware house on the lonelier said of the city. The place is much quieter here. It gives him the peace and solitude he so desires when he has to think. He knows his thoughts should be on how to overcome the newest obstacle placed in his way but his focus always seems to drift. The scarlet speedster will undoubtedly become a nuisance to deal with in the upcoming future.
He takes his time to move about the ware house and put things in place. As he takes out the metal gun case, he pauses for a moment to stare at the cold gun in his hand. It was a play of fate that he ended up with the cold gun. However, its usefulness was now become more prominent. In many ways the cold was the scarlet speedster's kryptonite. Or was it?
They all really were very new to this game of good and evil, crime and justice, Snart could tell. Running round in costumes, saving children from burning building and breaking up bank robberies, it was them acting out their childhood fantasies. In many ways Snart guessed he was very much like them. Becoming a villain like the ones in the stories. But the difference between him and them was that Snart knew how to play this game well. They were new pieces to the chess board. The scarlet speedster at least had the decency to wear a mask. The others had just barged in, identities for all to see and the silly notion of heroism fueling their actions. It even brought a smirk to Snart's lips when he thought about their innocent naivety. It was in away refreshing, their impulsive actions. But impulsiveness never won anyone the game did it.
Really Snart didn't know why he was complaining. If they had come in masks and costumes he never would have gotten the chance to see her face. If they were cool and collected, and didn't let their emotions run rampant, he would have never gotten to witness what true beauty mingled with terror looked like. If they didn't wear their hearts on their sleeves, he would have never gotten to hear her sweet voice echo through the cold night. So in many ways he was thankful for their blunder.
He still yearns to know her name. So he abandons all thoughts about his scarlet wearing nemesis and opts to centralize his focus on the brunette beauty that had occupied his subconscious thoughts. Her image still trails behind him like a spectre, reaching out to him. He tries to ignore its alluring call, like a siren calling him to her depths because the echo of her voice entrances him.
When he can no longer battle his obsessive thoughts, he concedes and gives in to the urge to know her name. So Snart grabs his lap top and sits at his desk staring at his web browser. Snart's fingers are poised just above the letters of the key board. He hesitates for a moment. The thought of actually putting a name to this beautiful face has suddenly become terrifying.
He hates to admit it but he fears that reality will be his downfall once again. Will she be equivalent to the figure that he has created in his head? Will reality for once coincide with his dreams or will he be disappointed once again?
Snart knows he cannot prolong the inevitable so plunges into his search head first. He knows the cowardly do not live to see their desires become reality. So he pushed his nonsensical thoughts to the back of his mind and briskly types away on his key board.
He pulls up the S.T.A.R Labs official website and proceeds to look through the staff profiles. He scans through the list of employees with a keen eye, refusing to pause until he sees her warm hazel eyes and soft brown hair. Snart goes through hundreds of employees – engineers, doctors, chemists, biologists – and still he has not found her name.
His hope dwindles when he comes up to the last page of the list. There he spots the young man from the train tracks. His name is Cisco Ramon. He is a mechanical engineer at S.T.A.R. Labs. The boy's credentials are impressive and his achievements are even more noteworthy. But he isn't who Snart is looking for.
When Leonard finally finds her name near the bottom of the list he feels relief. There she is staring back at him through the screen on the lap top. She looks just as she did earlier that night. Soft curls resting gently on slim shoulder. Beauty hazel eyes set up above high cheeks bones tinted red and pink lips set into a demure smile.
She is heavenly.
Snart clicks the link and goes to her profile. Hers is just as impressive as Cisco's - a young bio-engineer with a focus on genetics. One of S.T.A.R Labs most promising young minds. A pioneer amongst her peers and a bright future on the horizon. However, she has suffered he notes. A career crushed by an experiment that was supposed to be the stepping stone to the rest of their lives. A reputation annihilated by association, an accessory to disaster. But it just makes her more desirable to him. A broken soul just like him.
A smile manages to curl it way across Snart face because for once reality has decided to run parallel with his desires.
Snart finds more pictures of her and prints them out. He looks at the collage of pictures he has pinned to the board in the centre of the safe house.
Her name falls from his lips like a silent prayer as he drags a finger across a picture of her smiling face.
"Caitlin Snow."