Chapter 4

Jack stood as if petrified, looking at Ianto. His presence made no sense. Although he didn't like to admit it, his lover was dead. He knew for a fact that there were no such things as ghosts. And most important of all, he wasn't drunk anymore. So if this was no bloody hallucination, what the hell was it?

"As I said yesterday, Jack, I'm the child of your fertile mind.

Jack jumped, startled.

"Oh come on. Don't be like this. Of course I can read your mind, that's where I come from!"

Ianto's voice was loud and clear despite the running water. Yet, it wasn't as if it was coming from inside his head. It was definitely outside.

"Are you a ghost?"

Jack instantly felt ridiculous asking a question he knew the answer to but he just couldn't help it. What if he had been wrong all those years?

"Now, Jack, we both know that is a silly question," scoffed Ianto. "How about you finish your business here; I will wait for you in the living room."

Without awaiting Jack's answer, the apparition left the room, leaving him in a state of utter confusion.

Jack walked out of the bathroom, half expecting Ianto to have vanished. Yet, he was there, waiting for him in the same fauteuil he had seen him sitting the previous night. He made his way gingerly, fearing that brusque movements would make him disappear. He finally came to a halt and leaned on the window sill, trying to remain calm, or at least, look the part.

He locked his eyes on Ianto, examining him from head to toe. As he did, he felt as if his appearance was changing in the process. It was hard to explain, but it was as if his eyes were making Ianto different each time they fell on a different part of him. When finally he set his eyes on Ianto's face, he was marvelled and terrorized to see the cut on his cheek suddenly appear and his eyes well up with tears.

"What's going on?"

He was fascinated and appalled at the same time.

"Nothing. It's all in your head. I'm just a reflection of your thoughts."

Jack shook his head.

"How is that possible? You have to be more than that! We're having a conversation, aren't we?"

Ianto shrugged.

"I'm just answering things that your brain already knows. Actually you should consider yourself lucky since I seem to be able to tap but in your consciousness and subconscious."

"That makes no sense. Tell me something I don't know."

Ianto smiled.

"That's impossible, as I just said. But I can tell you something you don't remember. Then again you may not be able to tell if it's something your brain knows. We can't be sure my words will trigger the memory and bring it back.

Jack raised an eyebrow, as if to say "try me."

Ianto laughed. Jack felt as if he had been washed over by a wave of warmth.

"Your last memory with your father is of a late afternoon spent playing ball on the beach until dusk."

Jack staggered, as if hit by a ton of bricks. This memory had been locked away for so long it made him reel. He looked at Ianto. His lover looked at him with sorrow in his eyes.

"This is correct."

"Of course it is. I'm you, after all."

Jack frowned, trying to grasp all this new information but failing to put it all together coherently. He walked a bit closer to Ianto, still keeping a little distance between them. His lover suddenly looked forlorn.

"Why are you sad?"

Ianto shrugged and avoided Jack's eyes.

"You seem to think that the wary way in which you treat me would make me sad."

"So you really are shaped from my thoughts..."

Ianto suddenly looked at him then rolled his eyes. Jack could not help but laugh. Then, a thought crossed his mind and he smiled slyly. As he had expected, he saw the bulge in Ianto's trousers grow bigger. He grinned.

"Can I touch you or will that make you disappear?"

Ianto's face was flushed with embarrassment and desire.

"I'm made of energy so, who knows?"

His voice was hoarse.

"You seemed to think that I would disappear last night. Then again, you realize that if you actually touch me, it would be nothing more than intellectual masturbation."

Jack shrugged. Masturbation surely was better than nothing. Slowly, he got nearer Ianto and leaned forward, using the armrests as support. He could smell his lover's scent. His cologne, his sweat... He pictured him naked and as he expected, the apparition's clothes vanished. He admired the man's body, feeling the desire rise in his. As his lips were about to touch Ianto's, a sudden ring startled him. He looked away for one split second and to his great disappointment, the empty chair was the only thing his eyes met when he looked in front of him anew.

Disgruntled, he swore and sat down. He waited a moment hoping that the caller would give up. After the tenth ring, he got up, annoyed. Looking in his coat's pocket he found the cellphone UNIT had given him. Apparently they were too cheap to set him up with voicemail. He picked up and before he could even say anything, Gwen's voice blared from the other side of the line.

"Jack! Where the hell are you? Ianto's funeral is in less than an hour!"