Chapter 9

I know there is something written or said about a person thinking they know somebody but don't. I don't like saying it but it almost sounds true with regards to Hawk. I mean we only knew her for a few weeks and before that by reputation. But…

I don't know what to think. And it is mostly about what Hawk had to go through. I never would have thought that she would go through all that and learn to be a specialized interrogator. What is more surprising is that Hesh seems to know or at least he wasn't surprised by it. It's having me start to wonder if he is not really okay.

Logan sighed silently as he crossed his arms over his chest. He was waiting while Hesh was getting checked out by Carol. It gave him time to mull things over. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that they probably should have been more attentive. The most obvious was what she did to get Ramos to talk. The sad thing was, it was brushed off but still talked about and toted up to the fact that she had a tomahawk and knew how to use it.

It was a surprise to hear that his best friend had gone through the Freefall program and was considered one of the best interrogators in the American forces. Sure he knew that she learned things from her dad and it was obvious that Rorke picked up on it. It was the reason why she was gone and not him though he was certain that if he had the chance, Rorke would have taken him.

Colonel Slayton told them that Freefall was a program designed to train highly specialized interrogators. It was designed for select individuals to train them in the art of interrogation and how to adapt to a situation. It sounded like the bullshit that was fed to the public about a superstar soldier or something like that. There was a lot that they weren't being told and the funny thing was that Hesh was the one that remained calm about the whole thing considering…

Logan started to wonder if Hesh was really okay and if Carol was turning a blind eye. In the beginning his brother was very down and willing to go through his own private hell in terms of torturing himself with the PT and pain. It was like Hesh saw it as a punishment. Now hearing this… it was like his brother was a whole different person. He was willing to concede that Hesh was getting over the most excruciating of spasms he had since being released from the infirmary. So there was some leeway since he did give his brother a pain pill before they joined in but… Logan stared at the ground thinking about everything.

"Trying to stare the floor into submission?"

Logan looked up to see Keegan looking at him. He straightened up and said, "Just thinking." He glanced to see if anyone was around and asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Just checking to see how Hesh is doing. He didn't look good coming into that meeting," Keegan replied. He shuffled on his feet.

"He's fine," Logan replied a bit defensive. He straightened up and squared his shoulders. "You know Carol is a bossy one."

Keegan said nothing about Logan's sudden defensive posture. He wasn't going to push too hard. It had been obvious the moment Hesh left the room earlier that something was wrong. While everyone was talking and trying their best not to shout at each other, he had been observing the Walker boys. He suspected that their compliance with a lot of things was a cover for the fact that they were coming up with a plan to look for Hawk.

Logan relaxed a little, feeling bad about his terseness but he didn't want Hesh to get sidelined because of this latest incident. It wasn't his brother's fault that he couldn't go on the last one because he had a minor one and Harris had gotten in a lucky punch during a sparring session. Hesh could handle himself but to keep him behind…

"I get it Logan," Keegan said quietly. "I'm not going to say anything. I know how hard you both have been pushing to get out there."

"Hesh can handle himself," Logan allowed.

Keegan held up his hand, "You don't need to explain. I get it and I tried to convince Merrick on the last one."

"Do you think… Rorke turned her?"

It sounded like a password just by asking that question. In a way it was reassuring to the person asking even if it wasn't the one they wanted to hear. Keegan could understand Logan's position and he knew Hesh's very well and didn't need an explanation why. He didn't think she would turn. She wasn't like that and he suspected she would fight every step of the way. He looked at Logan and said, "Not in a million years, kid."

"And you're not saying that because it makes sense with all…" Logan gestured soundlessly to refer to what they had just learned.

"Pfft," Keegan snorted. True it did make sense now but he knew Hawk better than that. "No way kid," he said with confidence. "We both know that even without this she wouldn't give in." He sobered and studied Logan, "You okay?"

"I'm fine. It's just… just things that don't make much sense." Logan shrugged his shoulder and looked at the door of the infirmary. What the hell was Carol doing? He looked back at Keegan, "Just a lot to process."

Keegan took the time to study Logan. The kid had been taking the reins on things since they had been injured. He had been trying to bolster his brother and get him standing again, dealing with his own issues and probably trying to plan something that would involve going off with Hesh back into the jungle to look for Hawk. The kid looked out of his element but he was holding up well. "Same here," he agreed.

At that moment Carol came out and eyed the two soldiers together. She glanced at Logan for his approval since Keegan was there. Logan was grateful that she was being circumspect with a lot of things especially with regards to Hesh's condition. Logan looked at Keegan and the look he got from the man was one that was reassuring and he felt that maybe he could shift some burden but he would keep control. He looked at Carol and asked, "How's Hesh?"

"Fine," Carol replied, successfully interpreting the cues Logan was giving her. "Just a little exhausted and too much excitement. Nothing a good night's sleep wouldn't do." She looked mostly at Keegan and said, "I hope that future outbursts like that will be avoided in the future?"

Keegan looked at Carol. He had never understood the relationship between her and their friend considering that they swore at each other like sailors but they respected each other. Then there was the fact that Carol was the scariest thing to come across when it concerned the medical side of things. Of course it made her a perfect Ghost but the team was inclined to think otherwise. He replied, "I'll relay that to Merrick though I think he is in the same mindset."

"Good since I hate a disrupted routine," Carol emphasized with a stern look. "It can set back hard work greatly."

"I agree. I'll go let Merrick know sitrep," Keegan replied with an understanding look.

"Thanks Keegan," Logan replied as he watched Keegan give a respectful nod to Carol before heading back to ops. He took a breath and teased Carol, "You still have more bite than bark, Carol."

"What can I say, I care about my patients. Hesh may be recalcitrant but you are an adorable puppy," she teased back.

"Not you too," Logan groaned. "Hawk always called me a puppy. Made me feel like I was six years old again."

"Nah. Sequoia was just saying you're adorable. And if I'm not mistaken you made the same assessment about yourself," Carol dropped with a knowing look. She gave a slight smile at that as she watched Logan scowl slightly at that.

"I was trying to get out of trouble," he pouted.

"And how often does that work," Carol replied smiling and trying not to laugh at Logan's face. She took a breath and continued, "Hesh is doing okay, Logan. But it was a really bad one and I would like to keep him overnight just to make sure."

"Did he agree to it?"

"Surprisingly yes," Carol replied with a slight frown. She looked at Logan and noted the worried expression and added, "More likely he is exhausted and isn't going to argue with you or me. Anyone else he might."

Logan relaxed a little but it didn't relieve his worry. He shook his head, his dirt blonde locks shaking with his movement. "I don't understand Carol. Why is he still having these spasms? I thought he would have…"

Carol shrugged her shoulders. She had her suspicions about things but how much Logan would understand was a guess. She replied, "Well abdominal trauma like your brother's… it varies. Some patients I've had they were fine. Some… occasionally pain was still felt."

"And Hesh?"

"You want my opinion?"

Logan was taken aback by that. Why wouldn't he? He nodded, "Always."

Carol sighed, "This is my opinion but… I think that with your brother… part of it is induced by the fact that…"

"He still blames himself for this," Logan offered with a slight shake of his head. "That and he misses her. You think that maybe it would have been better if he had gone with us and saw her?"

"Honestly, no," Carol replied, "but that is at first blush. You and your brother have proven me wrong at times and have surprised me. Maybe it would have been good or it could've been bad. There is no way to tell but… after this there is no way…" She shook her head slightly at that. She looked around to make sure no one was listening before speaking in a low voice, "If you and Hesh are planning something, you better start making final plans now."

"You don't think that…"

Carol looked at Logan with a firm look, "I know the team doesn't believe that she turned. It just has to be said and no way around that. But apparently higher up doesn't see it that way. Better if you bring her in. Just my thoughts."

Logan looked at her and narrowed his eyes at her, "You've had to do this before."

Carol sighed at that and nodded, "Echo Team wasn't just a team to sweep the Wall. Part of what we did was to recon and to retrieve missing men. Some did betray us and some were Feds that infiltrated. They were executed on the spot."

Logan looked at Carol as she looked down not particularly proud to reveal that. He pressed, "And how did you…" He paused and realized, "Hawk interrogated them didn't she?"

"It's what she did as Echo Three. It was her job per the team's assignment by Captain Elias Walker," Carol replied feeling like shit. "It was not something she was… is particularly proud of. Basic standard stuff but if it came to what was described…"

Logan looked away and thought about things. He sighed and wondered if Hesh had come to similar conclusions. If that was the case… was this latest one a result of… Too many questions were going through his mind and he knew that some had to be answered by Hesh. This though, he could understand why his best friend wouldn't say anything. True they had all pointed a gun at their enemy and fired but it must have hit hard when it turned out that who they were supposed to trust, wasn't who they said they were. He breathed, "She would do what she had to do Carol."

"I know and that's what scares me." Carol felt her lip tremble as she sighed. "I've known Sequoia for five years and I've always been concerned when we were given another seek and interrogate mission. I always suspected that there were things she knew how to do that she wouldn't hesitate to use if she didn't think the team could handle it but I also think she was torn with it. Just hearing about this… I don't know what to think."

"Maybe it's a question best answered by Hawk," Logan replied looking up at Carol. "I don't think she is a cold blooded killer. No. I think she is a survivor which was why she let me go telling me to tell Hesh she loved him." He paused a moment and then added, "I think she may have gone through Freefall but she is who she is because she is a good person and I have to believe that is why she won't give in."

Carol took in the determination that lined Logan's face. This had been hard on him too and he was trying to be the strong one. She was proud of him like a parent would be of their child. He was a quiet man in general but he had what it took. Maybe Hesh saw that too which was why he was sort of hanging back but she wasn't going to discount what he was going through in terms of feelings. It was something that he was eventually going to have to work through and it seemed he was doing well with his brother as support.

Looking at Logan she nodded, "And I want to believe that too Logan. Sequoia saved me five years ago before I was made Echo Four. I never forgot about it and…" She made a slight gesture with her head.

"We'll get her back, Carol. I know we will."

"Do what you have to do," Carol said. She wasn't going to say yes or no. It was going to be their choice and thing to do. She took a breath and looked around, "Well, I have to do inventory since that was pushed back. Hesh is in there and I set up a cot for you." She gave a slight smile before heading back in to do her inventory.

Logan took a couple of breaths before going in. He found Hesh sitting on the bed with his legs crossed at the ankles. He looked like he was annoyed at having to be there but he was resigning himself to the judgment of Carol. Logan could see though that he was putting on a show. He could his brother was exhausted from getting through the spasm and then the briefing. He also knew that Hesh hadn't been sleeping well the last couple of nights so that added to it. He teased his brother, "Hey ugly."

Hesh gave a mild scowl and replied, "Speak for yourself."

"I can because I'm adorable," Logan countered with a grin and realizing Carol's point. Well to hell with it. He gave his brother a gentle punch to his shoulder and asked, "You doing okay?"

"Good as I can," Hesh replied with more honesty than he had ever since Logan or others asked how he was feeling. He shifted on the bed and rested his right over his abdomen. His shifting allowed for Riley to jump up. He rubbed the dog with his left and said he was a good boy. "I just… I don't believe it and after what you told me…"

"I get you big bro," Logan replied in understanding. He took in his brother's appearance. There was some psych stuff that said a change in appearance can signal something was wrong. True his brother let his hair grow out so that it sort of looked like what he used to style it before ODIN but just shorter and it looked bristly. He didn't think his brother was nuts but he knew he was troubled.

There was the hard part to ask about and Logan wasn't sure how to do it. In the end he went with how his best friend would. She preferred blunt since there was less chance of being misunderstood. He began, "Hey Hesh… about earlier…"

"You mean how do I know about Freefall?" Hesh looked at his brother with an expression that was almost sheepish.

"That crossed my mind since you didn't blow up about it like I would expect you to," Logan replied with a slightly raised brow. His confusion showed on his face as he looked at his brother and asked, "So what gives Hesh?"

Hesh looked down at Riley whose head was in his lap. He petted the dog's head with his left and thought about what to say. He was going to have to come clean some time but he was still trying to process things himself with regards to details. He understood now why she had been reluctant to say much but the fact she told him at all…

Hesh looked at her and asked, "What's wrong Hawk?" He shifted on the bed so he could get a better look without appearing lazy.

"Just thinking. I had another dream."

Hesh sat up a little more while encouraging her to stay where she was with her head resting on his chest. He asked, "Rorke again?"

"Yes," she replied. After a pause she continued, "I dreamed that he found out… that he knew about what I know. About what I am good at."

He hadn't answered but waited for her to continue. He was rewarded when she said, "There are things that I know that… make what I did to Ramos look like it was a party trick."

Hesh looked at his brother and said, "Hawk told me that she was an interrogator. I learned more about her dad when we were on the Liberator in my spare time. I asked and she answered." Hesh looked Logan in the eye and said, "She told me about Freefall… as much as she could."

It made sense to Logan why his brother didn't react the way he thought he would. She would tell Hesh about her life because she wouldn't want secrets between them. Logan though was curious about Hesh's thoughts and asked, "And?"

Hesh sighed before he spoke, "I believed her but a part of me didn't want to think it to be true. I thought that way because of what I knew about her then and still do. Just hearing it from the colonel… it was confirming everything and… There really wasn't any other way for me to react." He gave a dry chuckle, "And now I understand why she would look at me the way she did."

"Are you angry?"

Hesh looked at Logan like he was talking crazy. Where did his brother get that idea? "At her? No. I am angry at myself. Angry that I am a selfish jerk." He moved suddenly to get out of the bed. He started for the door and paused to mutter, "It was my selfishness that got us in this mess little brother. I'm sorry."

Logan sighed as he watched Hesh start to go. He made it over and put a hand on his brother's shoulder to stop him from leaving. He looked at Hesh and said, "You aren't selfish because you love her and she loves you. You believed she wouldn't turn and she didn't. We know that. The team knows that."

"I held her against her will Logan and I'm sorry I got you involved with that. I know you never had too many friends and…" Hesh shook his head since there were no words to really say how sorry he was. "I'm sorry for ruining that."

Logan felt his breath hitch listening to his brother's confession. He watched as his brother opened the door. "Wha…"

"Don't worry Logan. I'll make this right. It's not like I'm going be able to do much considering my health problems."

Logan realized his big brother was back and probably was always there but he was so broken. He sighed and said, "You are a real bonehead Hesh." He waited until his brother was looking at him and then he continued, "Yeah sure it was a bad choice to do what we did but we were doing what we thought was right. We wanted to protect a person that meant a lot to us and maybe we were motivated in part because we had just lost Dad."

Hesh paused and turned to fully face his brother. He blinked but didn't say a word. Logan needed to say his piece.

Logan for his part was surprised that Hesh wasn't protesting but he realized his brother was giving him the floor. Now was his chance to tell him everything. He took a breath and continued, "The fact is that what happened with that is done… and she forgave us; she forgave you because of what she told me." He sighed, "If anything I should be the one for saying I'm sorry. I was awake bro when Rorke got her. I could have done something; I should have done something. So… it's my fault and you don't need to keep up the suspense."

Hesh frowned in confusion as to what Logan was saying. It then occurred to him that Logan thought… He raised his brow at Logan and asked, "You think I'm pissed at you?"

"I would be."

Logan looked at his brother and noted the expression. He didn't know what to make of it and he wondered if his brother was going to do something. He was startled when he was grabbed into a headlock and he felt his brother ruffle his hair saying, "For the smart one you sure are stupid little brother."

Logan waved his arms since Hesh wasn't letting him go anytime soon. "Hesh…"

"I'm not mad at you," Hesh said still holding onto his brother. He had a firm grip but it wasn't hard. If he had intended to hurt his brother, the grip would have been very different and he was showing Logan that. "I thought Rorke killed you. From where I was at, I thought he shot you in the head. I thought you were dead." He twisted so that Logan was bent over and he was bent over him. He leaned in and whispered, "I never blamed you Logan. Not once."

Logan heard his brother's words and felt the ruffling of his hair. He twisted and grabbed his brother's limbs. He managed to get a good grip and push himself free. He stood looking at his brother and found himself looking into the old Hesh.

"I never blamed you Logan," Hesh repeated slightly shaking his head. He gave a slight shrug of his shoulders to rotate them. "Ever since you could follow me around, you've always followed my lead. Every time we got into trouble, it was on me and rightly so. I know you've been shouldering everything lately and… you're doing a good job. I mean it. Thank you."

Logan looked at his brother. His brother wasn't angry with him. It shouldn't have been a surprise but it was. He looked into his brother's pine green eyes and noted the sincerity in them. He felt relief from the burden that he didn't realize he had been holding. He nodded and said, "Glad you're back big brother."

Hesh gave a chuckle, "I don't think I'm completely there but I'm here for you little brother."

Logan didn't believe that his brother wasn't completely there but he was grateful that he was on board. It was a start though. He nodded, "Same here big brother." He let the silence hang in the air as he held his brother's gaze.

Hesh looked at his younger brother. He owed him a lot. Taking a breath and feeling better than he had these past few months he said, "Think it's time little brother?"

Logan understood exactly what he meant and replied, "More than likely."

A/N: Well the team knows something about Hawk and Hesh reveals what he knows. Water under the bridge? Well stay tuned for next time on The Hunt...