Author's Note: Generally, I am always inspired by music and think of a particular song to motivate a chapter into the story. The following is from the Wavelength album from Van Morrison and the track entitled, "Lifetimes." While all songwriting credit goes to Van Morrison (1945-), the storyline is original. The purpose is detail, for the reader to reference the lyric to the storyline.
Jethro,
We've discussed names in recent months. In case anything happens, please accept the reason and rationale for naming our children the following names. I'd like for our children to be baptized in the Catholic Church and exposed to both faiths. Our children have Christian names, so it will not be an issue. Because it is Jethro and Suzanne, I'd like our initials as the names of our children.
If we should have two daughters, I'd like our daughters to be named Jacqueline Susan and Jennifer Shannon. Jacqueline is for the memory of the Director's wife and Susan, of course, after Mom and Nan. Jennifer is for Jenny Shepard, who I met a year prior coming to the agency. She recruited me and wanted me as a field agent after finishing the Peace Corps. I declined and instead pursued my degree at Georgetown. The Church may not recognize Jennifer but Genevieve, which is equivalent to Jeanne, Jennifer. Shannon, of course, is a family name. It is only fitting to remember the One who brought us together.
If we are blessed with a son, I'd like to name him Jackson after my friend, your father. We need another Jackson Gibbs in the world! His middle name should be Donald, after another well-respect, honorable man in Dr. Mallard...
"Go home. Get some sleep, Jethro."
Instead, he sat at the bedside, anxiously awaiting for a sign. While her blood pressure steadily decreased, Suzanne remained heavily sedated from delivery and unresponsive. The anti-seizure medication given hours ago as a precaution continued into the blood stream. Doctors Baker, Mallard and Pauley alerted Jethro that the medication would take a long while to work out of the body. Jethro found the note, leaving specific directions concerning the children. His jaw clinched and thoughts became dark. 'A chance in hell...' was how he responded to the advice, go home and sleep.
"I lost a wife leaving her side; damned if I lose another. Marines sleep where ever, whenever."
Semper Fi-Always Faithful.
Positive thoughts. Lifetimes.
'We're beginning a lifetime commitment.' Jethro reread the note. A teardrop fell onto her handwritten cursive. He distinctly recalled that Jackson Donald Gibbs evening. Suzanne and Jethro, still unsure of the sex, continued with names. Early in the pregnancy, she asked the husband his wishes, either a son or daughter. The answer was the same: healthy and happy. Cuddled on the couch, she mentioned the name Jackson, Jackson Donald Gibbs. He did not want another Leroy, while Suzanne explained there were four—four—Solomon McNamaras; the current were the eldest, JR and his firstborn, Solomon. Granddaddy Mac, the original Solomon, and his namesake, their dad, called Junior, Sol by their mother.
'We need another Jackson Gibbs in the world.' Suzanne concluded. 'Jackson Donald—after Dr. Mallard.' She smiled; Jethro chuckled, nodded with agreement.
'Would be nice…make Ducky the honorary Grandfather, the namesake.'
"Daddy would completely understand." Suzanne smiled.
Selecting the names, deciding on their religious education. It seemed too much, too fast. Jethro wondered why the urgency. Suzanne had a policy of being prepared for any contingency, he concluded. As he heard the machinery, monitoring his wife's blood pressure and heartbeat, it all made sense. She knew the risks associated with the pregnancy and never shared a solitary detail to anyone. The lives inside her body challenged, pushed Suzanne's own survival rate. It was a choice, and the decision was for the sake of the children.
'Never again, I'll question your gut, Suzanne.'
The song 'Lifetimes' came to mind, as Jethro held Suzanne's hand. He hummed softly, sang part of the lyrics at her bedside. Images of happier times crossed his mind, in particular, their first months dating one another.
You sit in silence/And the river answers
And I have loved you many, many years
I saw you standing by the wonderous river
And I have come today to calm your fears
Jethro was finally comfortable with having a second wife. Shannon was the first; Suzanne was the second, complete wife. Jethro prayed for additional time silently as he heard the machinery, helplessly watching Suzanne in bed, still unconscious. 'It would be cruel, God, to take Suzanne from me, from our children.'
He shared in whisper their weekend at his cabin, hoping the memory would welcome her from the deep sleep. His smile came from a beautiful bonding experience. Some women would consider the seclusion creepy, Suzanne considered it an adventure. Her response at first sight?'Oh, if you have hot running water, I'm good! That's a treat!'
Unflappable. Unbelievable! Jethro soon learned about her four years in the Peace Corps, the reason for a 25 year old just entering law school. Other facts Suzanne kept close, she openly shared with the experienced investigator. The past remained in the past. She spoke little about her adventures in Scouting. Without technology, the two shared long conversations about the outdoors. It was a way of knowing one another.
"Girl Scout." She answered. "My parents had us all in Scouting, even when we were stationed in Hawaii, California and Virginia. JR and I finished the program."
"So spending those years in Guatemala...?"
"I was prepared for the physical terrain but not the emotional toil." Suzanne said. "Went through a lot in those four years."
"Those lifetimes
So many lifetimes
With you...
The boatman singin' far across the water
What is this feelin' in my heart and soul?
The nighttime angel spreads her wings around me
And I feel the sadness/And the river flows
Those lifetimes
So many lifetimes
With you
Listen to the music inside
That is all that you have to do
Listen to the music inside
Can't you hear what it says to you?"
Suzanne prepared for 'goodbye' from men after several months without physical contact. It had been five years since she'd been a girlfriend. Whether it was through modern dance, her fancy Georgetown education, or knowing professional football, Jethro became the hunter. Her terms when it came to limited physical and psychological intimacy, and Jethro accepted in fascination, frustration and fulfillment. Their relationship progressed and by years end, Suzanne agreed to exclusively dating, calling it a relationship. The more time they spent with another, Gibbs wanted more. Eventually, her emotional wall began to crumble in time.
'You're so shy…' He continued stroking Suzanne's forehead with his index finger. Jethro could not understand, with all God-given talent, she was so bashful.
"You have the most beautiful eyes..." The touches reached her face. It seemed a lifetime, but soon, the mystery unfolded. Jethro removed her glasses.
"You have a beautiful smile; it lights up the entire room." Jethro often complimented Suzanne.
She certainly learned from Jethro Gibbs that a man of few words generally say the truth.
"I love you, Suzanne."
"And I shall get to know you in these lifetimes. In awe and wonder on down through the years.
The nighttime angel spreads her wings around me. I feel the silence and my doubts are cleared...
His kissing and deep voice became enough of a stimulant. The kissing eventually led to touching—intimate touching, mostly his part. Jethro still remembered first exploring inside her body by touch. Eight months into their relationship, Gibbs emotionally and physically yearned for Suzanne. The definitive line between sex and love were tested.
'Never?'
She nodded no, glanced downward with a tinge of embarrassment. Gibbs admired her vow of chastity until her first true love. Suzanne's parochial school experience discouraged self-satisfaction. By instinct, she winced with surprise by the wiggle of a solitary finger. Seemed a lifetime ago—two years. It truly surprised him that in her late 20's, with everything to offer, she remained a virgin.
'Oh, God, Suzanne…' He muttered in her ear. His calloused hand stroked her face before he reached for a kiss as his tongue weaved in and out rhythmically. Lovingly, Jethro locked his eyes into hers. His eyes fluttered, feeling her muscles contract against his finger. Momentarily, he stopped.
'I want to give you...'
"Gibbs..." Suzanne trembled, feeling a bit overwhelmed.
'Shh…breathe slower and let it go.'
His responses were in kisses and smiles, as his fingers directed Suzanne to orgasm her very first time. As promised, he started slow. Jethro whispered, nodded as he located an erogenous part. Suzanne moaned softly in his ear. His movement continued upward, establishing a tantalizing rhythm. Tears streamed down Suzanne's face, voice shook softly. Music to his ears to hear the low voice raise an octave. Jethro gathered her closer in his arms.
'Oh, it's okay, Baby…'
Briefly it reminded him of the first experiences with Shannon, also a virgin on their wedding night. Properly stated, the act would be called manual masturbation/manipulation from a partner.
'It's not supposed to hurt…' Jethro explained.
"It didn't; I wasn't prepared for the…response…" Suzanne heavily panted.
"Whenever you are ready…for everything.' Jethro kissed her wildly, his tongue dueled with hers inside her mouth. 'God, I'd be honored to show you how much I love you.'
Those lifetimes
So many lifetimes
With you
Listen to the music inside
That is all that you have to do
Listen to the music inside
Can't you hear what it says to you
Listen to the music inside
That is all that you have to do
Listen to the music inside
Can't you hear what it says to you
Jethro's favorite part of the song, "And I shall get to know you in these lifetimes, in awe and wonder on down through the years…" resonated. He remembered, in a chuckle, the jean-wearing, trash-talking craft service employee at NCIS. She was 'Suz,' graduate student, mid-20's and wore glasses, eyes and nose lost inside a rather thick book. 25 years old, just returned from Central America and lived in Southwest quadrant. Didn't say much, except a warm hello. Years later, she became the temptress Suzanne. Beneath the least-flattering work uniform and very plain look, she bent, twisted and unintentionally challenged Gibbs with his own rules of conduct. Intellectual and physical seduction aroused his sensibilities.
Now, 'Gibbs' was affectionately, sweetly called Jethro. He wished to hear Suzanne say it. He glanced over, noticed those long thick eyelashes Abby and Ellie wished to have. She brought three additional lives into the world—two daughters and a son. A new season of joy. He's happily married, feverishly in love with Suzanne. Finding her, in his opinion, was a gift from God; the children were additional blessings. In sleep, he remained astonished by the ever-growing, giving, and loving woman, his beautiful Suzanne Gibbs.
'Would it be too much, God, if I had Suzanne too? Please?'