A/N: Chapter 2 of my spoof! I get the feeling I've made it a little too stupid, even for me…enjoy anyway.

Chapter Two

Rusty blinked in the glaring sun. He hated the sun. A lot. He wished he could fly there and destroy it with giant missiles.

Looking out of the window, he stared at the wretched thing of doom. Wasn't there something he was supposed to be doing? Something about fried chicken…? Or was it the ocean? Or maybe the forest?

"HOLY CRAP. I have to go to the beach with Smudge today. I can't do it. What should my excuse be? I…was, um…I know! I was abducted by wild forest cats. It's believable enough."

Laughing to himself, Rusty escaped from the annoying house and immediately trampled over Smudge.

"Uh, how can I help you sir? What are you doing in my yard?"

"I was so excited I couldn't wait any longer. Are you ready to go to the beach," came Smudge's muffled voice from under Rusty's paw.

Well, here goes. "See, uh, when I went into the forest…three…cats, yeah three cats showed up and threatened me to join their Clan. Or else they'd send zombies after me." That sounded awesome!

"You should probably go. I know I wouldn't want zombies coming after me," Smudge advised seriously.

"R-right. What about the beach?"

"I can always go by myself. You should probably go. I'll see you," Smudge chirped, getting into his convertible and driving away.

"That was easier than expected. Now what was I really supposed to be doing." Rusty mused, stepping into the forest.

"Psst...Hey. Hey you. Kittypet. YOU OVER THERE!" Rusty turned around to see a vaguely familiar cat chasing after him.

"Do I know you? I can't help feel that I know you somehow…"

"It's me, Lionheart. Remember from last night? I was there, Graypaw was there, you were there, and Bluestar was there," this odd cat meowed.

"Oh right. Hey, who's that over there behind that tree," Rusty questioned, seeing another cat close by.

"I IS THE GREAT WHITESTORM! FEAR ME OR DIE!"

There was an awkward pause.

"So I'm guessing this guy's Whitestorm? Is he from ThunderClan too?"

"You would be correct," Lionheart sighed, "Even though it's never stated, he's Bluestar's nephew."

"WE IS GOING TO THE CAMP NOW," Whitestorm roared, dashing through the bushes.

"Should we follow him," Rusty asked, shrinking away from Lionheart,

"No, follow me. He'll only get us lost."

"Should we go after him? I mean, will he be okay by himself?"

"Probably, I mean, he's survived all this time. It's kind of amazing," Lionheart admitted.

X

"WE'RE BACK IN CAMP," Lionheart shouted, sending cats scrambling in every direction, "WE HAVE THE KITTYPET LIKE YOU WANTED BLUESTAR!"

"Did he just say kittypet?"

"Holy crap, there's a kittypet among us!"

"What's a kittypet again?"

"That's good. Now get over here while I climb this stupid rock," a familiar voice yawned. Bluestar crawled from some crack in a wall and stumbled over to the rock in question.

"If you're old enough to not be called a stupid kit, get over here," Bluestar mewed, prompting a tidal wave of cats to crash in front of the rock, "Now we're here to make this pathetic kittypet a ThunderClan apprentice. If you have any problems, take it up with him."

"Hey, you stupid kittypet, why doon't you just go back home," a stupid looking tabby hissed from behind Rusty.

"You said 'doon't'," someone snickered in the crowd.

"I don't want to go home," Rusty complained, "there's a stupid kitten who never shuts up."

"Your mom never shuts up," the tabby hissed.

"Longtail, that was too far," Lionheart gasped.

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR INDECENCIES SAID AGAINST MY MOTHER," Rusty screeched, charging at Longtail.

"Lolz, the kittypet thinks he can beat me. I'll show him," Longtail growled. Rusty hit him on the nose with a frying pan.

"OWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! That hurt," Longtail yowled, "Well, guess what? I got your stupid kittypet collar."

"I don't want it anyway," Rusty grumbled.

"Okay, now that that's over with, you're gonna be an apprentice. You look like fire. With that in mind, I could give you a variety of names. For example, 'Flarepaw, Infernopaw, Flamepaw, Burningpaw, Scorchpaw' are all on the list. However, I'm going to just call you Firepaw. Get over it or get out."

"Okay…so now what," Rusty asked.

"I don't care. Do whatever the hell you want," Bluestar snapped.

Well then. That was awkward.

A/N: Chapter 2 is complete. I shall be back with more, eventually. Just wait, okay? STOP PRESSURING ME. R&R!