June 2004

Rolf leaned against the door frame leading into the room of the inn that Luna had rented for the next three nights. She was grateful for this attention and worry, but at the moment shqe wanted nothing more but to be left alone to process what had transpired that night.

Rolf sighed unhappily. 'I don't feel right leaving you alone like this. Are you sure you're going to be okay? I can stay. We don't have to talk or anything. I'll just be here to… to… I don't know." Rolf glanced at Luna with a pleading look in his eyes. She could instantly tell that his presence would be a comfort not only to her, but for him as well. Clearly Harry's actions were surprising to her as they were to everyone else, Rolf included. She wasn't sure why, but Luna felt marginally better with that realization. She shook her head slowly.

"Honestly, I'll be fine though I do appreciate everything you've done for me tonight. I just need to be by myself and… think, I suppose," Luna said. Rolf nodded, apparently resigned, and stood up straight.

"If you need anything, just… well, just find me. I'll be at home tonight and all day tomorrow," he said. Luna smiled at him and nodded her head. "I mean it, Luna." Rolf looked at her once more, turned, and began walking down the narrow hallway. Luna watched him and as she was about to return to her room, Rolf paused and glanced over his shoulder at her.

"Can I ask just one thing?" Rolf called softly. If Luna hadn't been paying attention to him, she wouldn't have been able to pick out his voice over the sound of the inn and its residents. She nodded mutely and braced herself for whatever was coming - she was sure that Rolf had to be incredibly confused.

"Has he done that to you before?" Rolf asked, watching Luna's face for a reaction. Luna hesitated for a brief moment before shaking her head slowly.

"No," she responded. Rolf waited for a more elaborate answer but at her silence, he nodded his head once.

"Alright then," he said, and turned, disappearing down the hallway. Luna sighed softly and returned to the safety of her small, cozy room. By some miraculous moment of clarity, Luna had the foresight to arrange a different sleeping arrangement for the night of the party. She knew that Harry's reaction would be bad, but she would never have guessed at the scene that unfolded. The elderly lady who checked Luna into her room took one look at Luna's shaken expression and readily agreed to extend her reservation by another two nights.

The moments following Harry's angry outburst were a complete blur. Luna could dimly remember Ron's infuriated face and the throbbing ache in her upper arm. The next thing she knew, Rolf had his hand planted firmly around her waist and he was hurrying her away from the crowd. "Where're you staying," he asked, his voice low and pressed against her ear. Luna murmured the name of the inn and the next thing she knew, they were standing in front of the little old lady who was awaiting her arrival.

"My dear," she welcomed the pair. "Welcome to the Rose and Cauldron. You must be Miss Luna Lovegood. Yes, yes, here we are," she crooned, peering over the spectacles perched on the end of her pointed noise. Her wrinkled fingers danced across the ancient reservation book. "Checking in for just one night, am I correct, dear?"

Luna felt Rolf pull her even tighter to his side and his long fingers stretched the length from her lower hip to just above her bra line. She realized that she must be shaking.

"That is correct, but if it is at all possible," Luna began and dropped her gaze to the reservation book. Her heart sank as she saw the many, many names scrawled across the pages. "I'd like to stay two days longer…" Luna's voice became meek and she drew in a shuddering breath. The woman's head snapped up and she fixed Luna with a searching stare.

"Oh, love. Don't trouble yourself. We'll make it work. Now, let's get you to your room, eh?" The woman looked at Rolf and narrowed her eyes, apparently protective of Luna despite their being complete strangers. Luna felt Rolf stiffen before reaching to collect the key that lay on the desk.

"It's okay," Luna said. "He isn't the one who… I'm fine."

Luna stepped into the tiny bathroom that connected to the bedroom. There was nothing much to the room other than a clawfoot tub, a small toilet and sink, and a floor length mirror attached to the back of the door. Luna paused to take in her surroundings before a burst of energy sent her spinning into action. She snatched her wand from her small handbag that was all but forgotten and pointed it to the tub. Wordlessly, the knobs spun and a steady stream of steaming, hot water began to pour into the tub. Luna threw her wand to the floor and spun to face her reflection.

Angry, red marks the exact shape of Harry's hand encircled the upper portion of her left arm and Luna suddenly felt as though she couldn't breath. She ripped at her dress, desperate to get away from the clinging material and the memory of how she hoped Harry would see her tonight. Luna heard an angry rip as the delicate material fell to pieces under her rampage but the sound only helped spur on her madness. As soon as the dress was pooled around her feet, Luna began to rip desperately at her hair.

Like a fool, Luna took the pains to learn how to elaborately braid and twist her hair and now the sight of it infuriated her. It mocked her. How could you be so stupid, she accused herself. The pins that held her hair back began to ping against the cold tile of the bathroom floor and Luna stared at her reflection once more, jarred by how wild her expression was. I don't even look like myself, she thought and began to furiously rub at the makeup that had, mere hours earlier, caused Luna to think that she looked quite pretty. Now the eyeshadow mingled with the kohl eyeliner and fell down the length of her cheeks, black and shimmery and hideous. Luna stilled and allowed the sob that she had been actively choking back to bubble up and out of her mouth. The tears began to run in steady streams down her face, mingling with the smeared make up and dripping down on to her new, silky white bra.

"Miss Lovegood?" Luna heard the voice of the elderly lady call into her room. Luna quickly closed the wide bathroom door, leaving only an inch of space.

"Erm, I'm just changing. Did you need something from me?"

"No, love. Just brought up some tea and some soup," the woman responded and Luna heard the delicate chatter of china clinking together.

"Thank you, but I'm not quite in the mood for tea."

"I thought that, my dear. I've brought something a bit stronger for you as well." The woman turned and caught Luna's eye that peeked between the door and the wall. "Whoever it was, I hope you give him hell the next time you see him." Before Luna could formulate a response, the woman was leaving and closing the door gently behind her.

Luna waited a moment before going to inspect the "something stronger" that awaited her. She let out a dry laugh as she found a half empty bottle of fire whiskey and the irony of the choice of liquor was not lost on her. "Of course it's fire whiskey," she muttered to herself but pulled the bottle to her lips none the less. Luna spluttered as the foreign taste of whiskey invaded her mouth but after the initial shock, she began to pull the liquor in long swigs. Once the bottle was empty, Luna tossed it onto her bed and staggered back into the bathroom.

She slammed the bathroom door and rounded on her reflection, emboldened by the fuel of the alcohol. Luna's eyes were instantly pulled to her left arm and she felt the anger burn in her blood as she noticed that what was previously red had begun to purple into a nasty bruise. Her temperature continued to rise the longer that she stared at her pathetic figure in the mirror and Luna became aware of the swirling sickness created by the whiskey that settled in the pit of her belly. And all of the sudden, it was too much for her.

It was too much for Luna to stand there and attempt to accept that Harry Potter had ever truly loved her in any sort of selfless, healthy way. The evidence was painted clearly on her arm. It was probable that Harry was incapable of ever loving Luna simply for herself. The only kind of love that he could feel now was tainted - twisted and dark. It dwelled in a place that had become corrupted by all of the darkness he had encountered and Luna felt angry and she felt cheated and she felt violated.

But underneath all of it, Luna felt a bone deep sadness that wrapped itself around her soul and squeezed. She felt sad for herself - for the time that she had put into their sham of a relationship. Luna mourned the faith that she had invested so deeply into Harry and the hope that had guided her for so long. Hope that they would eventually, finally, be able to be together on their own terms and the hope that Harry would triumph over the demons that he so obviously battled on a daily basis. And most keenly of all, Luna felt the sadness over the fact that there was no turning back.

No matter where she and Harry - if there could ever be a she and Harry again - ended up, they could never overcome this. The betrayal was an enormous issue but one that could be rectified by time and help. But Harry had put his hands on her and hurt her, whether intentionally or not. Luna could not imagine that there would ever be a time that she felt completely safe with him when they were alone. And Luna felt her heart breaking - again - because of what Harry Potter had done to her.

A distant awareness dawned on her, and Luna noticed that her feet were becoming covered in water. From behind her, the large tub was overflowing and Luna jumped to turn off the faucet. The sudden action lurched the whiskey around in her stomach and instantly, she felt ill. As soon as the water was shut off, Luna dropped to her knees in front of the toilet and became violently ill.