Hi! We're back! But before we begin...
do0m: We've gotten another flame!
me: no! it's not really a flame...
do0m: …That's debatable
me: i don't think its a flame... here's the review and my argument...
This was from:
Ginger (Guest)
DAMN! Killing Dareth is inexcusable! You could at least let him go. I
still want to kill Lucine in the worst way possible, and I both want Zane back
to his normal, perfect, sweet self, but I know he would probably go insane
from the revelation that he killed his family and would probably kill himself.
Other than that, Garmadon is suitably insane and evil, Lloyd's reaction is
predictable, Misako is WAY to calm in light of all that has happened, and
Dareth NEEDS to live. All things considered, I want you to continue the story
but I also think you are insanely twisted just like Lucine. I still can't
follow her line of reasoning. Hadn't she heard of the Ninja and all they had
done to help before? She need serious help. Alright, if you reached the end of
my shpeil (Pronounce: Sh-peel) the well done! Few people I know do.
My argument:
1. Being insane is in NO WAY an insult! We have called ourselves insane tons of times, and are PROUD OF IT!
2. Of course Misako is calm! We never did fully explain it, but she got hypnotized by a pendant Lord Garmadon gave Lucine.
3. Dareth was chosen to die by everybody who read this and voted! Maybe I did goat them into it, but most of them chose that. So she can't really pin that on us.
4. Not understanding Lucine is understandable! The idea is when you see someone in front of the place your parents were killed in, you don't think about the things they did before. You think about why they are there, which meant Lucine made a (likely wrong) connection. Lord Garmadon took advantage of that.
5. She complimented us on getting to the end of her... gimme a sec... spiel or rant!
(Please do note she spelled the word 'spiel' wrong and her grammar is wrong, as "Misako is WAY to calm in light of all that has happened" should be "Misako is WAY too calm in light of all that has happened")
do0m:
1. As far as the flames I've seen have gone, this is a good one, little/no errors (I have actually found worse mistakes in actual professional books) and is appreciably polite.
2. The main source of proof of flameyness (that's a technical term) fact that not much reasoning behind some of her main arguments (Dareth's life) has little/no explanation, displaying a stubbornness and single-minded viewpoint only often found in politicians and fangirls.
3. The third (and irrefutable) proof of flameyness (technical term - see above) lies in the fact that she insulted the author. Not the story, the author. Insults to the story can be taken as literary criticism, but any insult to the author is based on the personality of a person that the reviewer has probably never (and will never) meet. This shows a level of cruelty only found in flames, however creative the insults are. (Or how they are taken by the author…)
do0m: All in all, I would grade this to be a B+ review, and a gentler breed of flame. (If it were not for the grammatical and spelling mistakes, it would be an A-)
me: my grade on the review... with the arguments made, i give it C+... only because of the effort shown. (next time, try to have some evidence, and you'll get a B)
So... due to this person's... interesting review... I have come up with a solution to a. keep Dareth alive and b. kill/torture him at the same time!
In addition: I AM SO SORRY! I got the tombstones wrong! Cole's last name is actually Hence! I edited this, and updated that chapter! I'M SO SORRY!
Before anyone else asks, Kai and Nya are never given official last names. Thus, I gave them the surname 'Hayes', which means fire.
Now on with the chapter after the LONGEST A/N in history!
Lucine's P.O.V.
Months have passed. Lloyd, refusing to go along with his father's ideas, is in the Serpentine's dungeons, not exactly in the most miserable conditions, but not in the best either.
Zane still watches my every move, though he doesn't have to force food down my throat anymore. I try my best to stay alive, and somewhat healthy, which isn't hard.
What is hard is watching the innocent people. Master Garmadon easily took control of Ninjago with the absence of the ninja, and everyone submits to him. Of course, that doesn't mean there is no resistance. Several groups have formed, trying to conquer him, one led by the black ninja's father. I shudder to think of the day I have to face them.
In our service, Master Garmadon has rewarded us with eternal life. Now, Zane and I patrol the streets, looking for people trying to rise up.
There's a reason we split up; I can only be merciful when Zane isn't watching. It's been spread by rumors on the street; get caught by the white assassin and you're dead. Get caught by the cloaked assassin and you might live.
I walk down a familiar alleyway, listening as sounds creep to my ears. "I can't believe the ninja are gone." A voice whispers sadly.
"I thought it was just a rumor! But without them, we've got no chance!" Another grumbles.
"Hah! I could beat those assassins." A pompous voice brags.
My fists tighten. "Be quiet, idiot!" Someone insists.
"Please, I could do it with one hand behind my back." The voice says casually. "Lord Garmadon is an idiot, I could beat him too." I sneak to the corner, and look into the alleyway to find the voice's owner a tall, wimpy looking man with puffy brown hair. He punches someone as if to prove his strength. "I'll take them all on."
I hear an angered snarl and find Zane behind me. "Would you like the honor, sister?" Zane asks.
"With pleasure." I growl. This one's an idiot and far from an innocent. We enter the alleyway, causing several to look up in horror.
"P-Please, have mercy!" A woman begs, holding her child close.
The man, losing his bravado, pales, and tries to run, only for Zane to catch him. "What was that you said?"
"N-nothing!" He squeaks.
I whip out one of my knives, holding it to his throat. "I heard you insult my master, my brother, and me."
The man trembles, and Zane swiftly knocks him out. As he carries the unconscious man back to where he will receive punishment, I look to the others in the alley. "Don't hurt us, please!" A man clutches the woman, whose son is shaking.
I place a finger to my lips. "Don't speak us this and we won't say anything." I promise.
They nod hurriedly, scattering, and I follow Zane back to the Serpentine dungeons. "Who issss thissss?" The Serpentine captain asks.
"Someone who needs punishment." Zane answers. Nodding, the Serpentine opens a cell and Zane throws the man in, who is still unconscious. "Let us go."
I hesitate. "I'll come in a moment." I reply. Zane lifts an eyebrow but nods, going ahead.
Once he's out of sight, I dismiss the Serpentine and go to the cell closest to the imperial palace, the place where Master Garmadon and his wife live. Their son, Lloyd, sits in the corner, and glares at me. "What do you want?"
In response I slip a small bag through the bars. "Nothing said." I respond.
Lloyd continues to glare, and I take my leave. In the bag was a few sugared candies; I heard from Master Garmadon how he has a sweet tooth, so I smuggle some in whenever I can. A weak form of penitence, but the only thing I can afford.
When the sun rises, Zane and I leave the apartment we share and visit the Serpentine, who have the captive man drugged. "What sssshall we do with him?" They question.
I turn to Zane, who smiles grimly.
About two hours later...
The man awakens, and screams as he realizes he's hanging upside down. "Ah! Let me go! I am Grand Sensei Dareth, and I,"
I throw one of my knives at the tree where he is being held, and the man shuts his mouth. "How is this what he deserves?" I ask Zane.
"Without water, he will die in a few days." Zane replies. He smirks. "And only inches from the fresh drink he will need."
I smile. The man, Dareth, is hanging by a tree, ropes around his ankle, so his arm just barely misses the water of a freshwater lake below him. "True."
We leave, checking in regularly. The idiot wastes his strength by shouting at all hours, making it so by day five he is weak. "I... am... Grand..." The idiot passes out, and Zane snorts.
"He's not supposed to pass out." He mutters.
I shrug. "Then cut him loose. I have an idea of my own."
As it is, one of the men from the alleyway is happy to cut him down in exchange for some extra food; with Master Garmadon in charge, everyone works in predetermined jobs, and are given food rations for pay. Obviously, extra is hard to come by.
Once cut down, the idiot has enough sense to wake up and gulp down water. Two Serpentine grab electric eels, having them shock the water and electrocute the imbecile. He screams like a small girl, which does amuse me, and after several more shocks in lying flat on his stomach, smoking.
"I think that's enough." I tell Zane, who agrees. We fish him out of the water, and I punch him until he wakes up. "Get out of our sight or you die."
Shrieking, the man scrambles up and runs. We leave, going back to our apartment and find Master Garmadon waiting for us.
"Some workmen have requested to stitch a man's mouth shut. They claim he deserves it." He looks to us, showing a picture of the man we just left.
Zane smirks, and I shrug. It will keep him and others out of trouble. "Let them do it." I say.
Master Garmadon smiles cruelly, leaving me and Zane alone.
HAH! I did as both requested (well kind of). Dareth lived, but got near-death torture. Actually, had we killed him, it would have skipped the 'electric eel' and 'stitching the mouth shut' parts. It just would've had him left over that lake until he died.
So, when we come back, THE NEXT CHAPTER WILL BE THE LAST! Yes, we are ending this story, and once it is done, I will have a poll for the next story!