April 2005

Luna smiled at Rolf from across the fire and turned her attentions to the conversation buzzing around her. Their most recent ventures had taken the pair deep into the forests of Eastern Europe and though Luna was not precisely aware of their whereabouts, she believed that they were either in Poland or Slovakia. She had stopped keeping track of where exactly they were – Luna left all of the meticulous planning to Rolf because he was simply better than she with the organization. Luna also held onto a slight fear that, if she knew ahead of time where they were travelling to next, she would leave clues in her articles in The Quibbler. She wondered if, somewhere in England, a certain man was wondering about her…

Luna shook her head violently and shooed away thoughts of Harry Potter. She looked once again towards Rolf and found that he was watching her intently, as he often did. The pair were entering into their eighth month of research and Luna was unsurprised to discover how steadily her regard for Rolf had grown over their time together. Luna found that it was simply easy to be around him and that he calmed her. After the last tumultuous relationship she had been in, Luna was initially unaware of how to spend such an extended amount of time with such easy a man as Rolf. He was kind and attentive to her, and he paid close attention to her needs. If Rolf sensed that Luna was the least bit cold, hungry, or bored, he was quickly handing her a cloak or warming tea or searching for something to divert her mind.

If Luna were truly honest with herself, sometimes she would admit that she knew Rolf had feelings for her. And though they had been travelling partners for eight months, and the fiasco of the Order party was nine months ago, Luna was not ready to pursue any sort of romantic relationship with anyone. Her pain over what Harry had done mostly revolved around his betrayal now, and Luna had come to the awful realization that his reluctance over being public with her was due to some paralyzing fear of what others would think. Luna had to work actively against finding fault in herself to answer the nagging question of why. But as time passed, the pain that was once so crippling and all-consuming had quieted to an ache. And now, so many months later, Luna barely felt that ache at all.

And despite her freedom from the sadness, Luna still found that she missed Harry terribly. Many nights she'd find herself wide awake, lying in her bed and staring at the canvas tent flap over head, wondering where Harry was and what he was doing. She was thankful for the silence that she had manufactured between the two of them as it helped her first overcome her heartbreak and secondly allow herself to let go of their relationship. But Luna missed the essence of Harry Potter. Despite his many shortcomings and all of his demons that she had to live with, Luna knew on a fundamental level that she would always love him. Harry filled a part of her soul that was missing and Luna had only truly felt complete during their short time together.

"A sickle for your thoughts," Rolf's voice sounded next to her and Luna let out a small laugh as she jumped. "I didn't mean to scare you," he said, smiling at her. Luna returned his smile and drew in a deep, happy breath. Rolf had sought out a small village of wizards and witches who resided deep within the forest that they were currently sitting in. Luna smiled at the memory of how excited he was explaining to her how they lived their lives as true naturalists and how they had said, yes, Luna and Rolf were welcome to come and stay, however long they wanted. And Rolf's happiness had become infectious so that Luna could not imagine being anywhere else than right here at that very moment.

"Isn't it wonderful here?" Rolf asked, glancing around at the several other witches and wizards who had drawn close to the campfire. Luna smiled happily at him.

"Yes, although I think you've said that about every place that we've visited," she responded. Rolf chuckled.

"I think you're right but I can't help it. Every place that we've visited had been amazing. And this village is so wonderful. Can you imagine living this way, Luna? Waking up every morning to the forest and only finding food from what you can catch or gather. And their culture is so rich. Piotr has promised to share some of their myths with me tomorrow morning." Rolf glanced across the fire and Luna followed his gaze, landing on the boisterous man who claimed eldership over the small community. He was currently laughing, sending a rumbling and booming noise out through the forest, and stopped, only to pick up from which ever tale he was currently spinning.

Luna looked back at Rolf and found that he was once again watching her. She smiled at him and asked, "What is it?" Rolf pulled his bottom lip into his mouth and studied her face, his eyes roaming all over her features. Luna pulled her eyebrows together in confusion. It was so unlike Rolf to be at a loss for words and she idly wondered if something was the matter.

"I'm so glad that you agreed to come with me. I could have never imagined how thankful I'd be that you came," Rolf began and dropped his gaze to his hands. Luna watched as he ran his right thumb over a callous on his left palm. She imagined that his hands were rough, a testament to his being out in the field and his weekly break down and set up of their camp. Rolf didn't use magic when his own two hands could get the job done. Luna smiled softly. She wondered how her garden looked at that very moment.

"Luna, I… I need to tell you something," Rolf began again and looked back at Luna. At the sight of his face, Luna drew in a shuddering breath. Rolf was many things but he was terrible at hiding his emotions and Luna could see it written all over his eyes. She felt her head began to swim and attempted to think properly, despite the loud buzzing that suddenly filled her ears. Luna simply knew that Rolf was about to admit his feelings to her and now she felt panic creeping up her neck. I'm not ready for this, Luna chanted to herself.

"I think that you're amazing," he said. Luna began to nervously drum her fingers against her thighs. "You're the most intelligent girl- woman that I have ever met. You're funny and you're thoughtful and you notice everything. You're patient with me and you're kind… and I… I think that I'm falling in love with-"

Luna felt a wave of nausea overcome her as Rolf began to say those words. And, before she could fully think about what she was about to do, Luna placed both of her hands on either side of Rolf's face and pulled him to her, pushing her mouth against his in a desperate attempt to not hear what he was about to say.

Rolf stilled for an iota of a second in shock before placing both of his hands around Luna's waist and pulling her close to him. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss and Luna was completely surprised to feel butterflies erupt in her tummy. For the first time in months, she felt freed and the mantle of sadness and distance that she wore felt lifted from her shoulders. And as they kissed, Luna continued to explore the feelings racing through her body. There was no guilt or trepidation or any feeling but lightness at her core and giddiness that she hadn't felt since… well, for a long time.

From across the fire, Luna heard Piotr's loud cheer and pulled back from Rolf, laughing, as the other villagers turned to witness their spectacle and too began to clap happily. Luna smiled up at Rolf and he smiled demurely back at her, his face three shades more red than Luna had ever seen. Rolf lifted his hand and smiled at the crowd, beckoning them to quiet down to which they began to cheer even louder. Luna laughed again and Rolf leaned down to her, his voice tickling her ear.

"Let's get out of here, okay?" he asked, and held out a hand to her. Luna glanced down at Rolf's hand and back up to his face. She knew that, no matter which way she decided, right now she was at a crossroads and nothing would ever be the same from here on out. Either, she would go with Rolf and figure out what may lay behind that door. Perhaps it would end with their trip, with Rolf being disappointed by Luna's reluctance to enter into a romantic relationship and Luna left with the guilt of not only betraying Harry, but breaking Rolf in the process. Or she could say no and the rest of their trip would be ruined by her rash decision and Rolf's disappointed hopes.

But maybe, for once, Luna could be selfish. Kissing Rolf had felt good and though she didn't return the feelings that he had for her, she did like him immensely. And more than that, Luna relished the sensation of not having a constant awareness of missing Harry in the back of her mind. When she and Rolf kissed, all thoughts of Harry had been cast aside and Luna did not have to actively fight herself for the accomplishment. Maybe Luna would see where this would go, and maybe she would be surprised.

Luna smiled at Rolf and slipped her hand into his. "Okay," she said softly and Rolf pulled her to her feet, sliding a protective arm around her waist. The pair turned, headed back to Luna's tent and as they disappeared from the firelight, Piotr let out a loud, "Goodnight you two," in his thick accent and Luna giggled as the rest of the villagers began to laugh and clap.