August 2006

Luna wiped the mulch from her knees and stretched her arms over her head, sighing as the tension popped from her back and joints. She smiled down at her garden and relished the progress that she had made that afternoon. It felt so good to be back home after all of her time spent away and despite all of the madness that seemed to be peering at her from around the corner, Luna forgot it all when she was outside, working amongst her plants. The summer was quickly coming to an end and already Luna mourned the long and sunny days that would soon retire for the length of the winter. Perhaps then, when she was stuck inside her house for those long, dark months, she would figure out just exactly what she should do with herself… but until then…

Luna pulled off her gardening gloves and removed her wide brimmed hat, dropping the articles of clothing on a small weed pile and turned to head inside the house. Four weeks had passed since she confessed to Rolf and a week longer still since she had last seen Harry. She was reluctant to head down that particular road as she still had no idea how exactly to feel about Harry since their untoward reunion. She still loved him – that was abundantly obvious – but whether it was wise to pursue any sort of relationship with him, let alone romantic, was still a mystery to her.

But in all the elapsed time, Luna still had not pursued any of his letters after that initial one in her father's study. The bundle, now neatly retied with a length of twine – sat on her bedside table collecting dust. Luna assumed that she would eventually make her way through his letters but again, that was simply not an area of her life that she wished to pursue.

And mercifully, she had work to do. The morning after Rolf left, Luna awoke with a gripping fear and the realization that he may very well dismiss her of her obligations to their book. Though their relationship had steered very much away from a professional partnership, Luna had devoted over a year of her life to the study of the botany in the many parts of the world that they visited. For Rolf to suddenly render her role in their venture obsolete would be devastating and Luna panicked over the countless hours of research, wasted…

But as the consummate gentleman, Rolf had been in correspondence with her regarding their project albeit not directly. Not two days after he left, Luna received a letter from someone – his agent, perhaps? – who explained that Mr. Scamander would be working diligently on his portion of the book and would Miss Lovegood please extend the same courtesy? After reading that letter, Luna sighed a breath of relief and thanked Rolf silently, for now she was excused from deciding what to do about Harry. If there was anything to do about Harry.

The moment that Luna crossed the threshold into her house, she heard the bell from the front ring and she yelled out, "Come in!" assuming that it was one of Rolf's associates dropping off editorial notes and the his latest portion of the book.

"Hello, Luna," Ginny said and Luna jumped and spun around, facing one person who she never imagined would darken her doorstep. "I almost wrote to say that I was intending on dropping by… but then I thought that you'd tell me to stay away." Ginny smiled at Luna and all Luna could do was blink in confusion. Ginny pulled a chair out from under Luna's kitchen table and sat, glancing around at the various bunches of herbs that were hanging from the ceiling to dry.

"Ginny… I…" Luna began but found that she had no idea what exactly she wanted to say. Ginny smiled again and watched Luna curiously. "Would you like some tea?" she finally asked.

"Thank you but no. It's rather hot outside," Ginny responded. Luna vaguely nodded, still perplexed, and leaned back against her kitchen counter, watching the youngest Weasley with apprehension. The two women had always been friendly with one another while in school but with everything that had happened with Harry, Luna had no idea what Ginny's true feelings about her were.

"I'm here to talk about Harry," Ginny said bluntly. Luna felt her defenses spring to life instantly.

"I really don't want to talk about him," Luna responded shortly.

Ginny chuckled softly and nodded her head. "Yes, I thought that would be your reply which further reinforces my decision to just show up. But the truth is that something needs to be said about him and as no one else has the guts to do it, here I am."

Luna furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. "I really have no idea what you're talking about."

"Harry's changed. Okay? That's the short of it. And hopefully the fact that I'm the one here to tell you that will count for something." At Luna's blank stare, Ginny rolled her eyes. "Look, I saw what he did to you at the Order party and it was messed up. We didn't find out until later what was going on between the two of you and to be perfectly honest, if I were in your situation, I think I would've killed him."

Luna felt her cheeks burn red with shame. "Thank you for your sympathy and compassion, but again… I really don't want to talk about this," she said.

Ginny waved her hand, dismissing Luna's remark. "I'm not meaning to be condescending but it's the truth." Ginny's voice became serious. "You did not deserve what he did to you. You're a great person, Luna… and he should never have lied to you… to any of us… about your relationship. We all would have accepted it… eventually. And he had a pretty serious drinking problem. I knew it and I expect that you knew it too. He let himself get out of control that night and I saw your face when he was pushing you up against that wall. I shouldn't be the one here talking to you about this… he should be-"

"You're right. You shouldn't be the one talking to me about this," Luna snapped. "I have relived that week over and over again and it was hell. It happened to me. I remember everything that happened… every single excruciating detail." Luna took in a deep breath. "Do you have a point in being here?"

"I do. Just hear me out," Ginny replied. Luna opened her mouth but Ginny began again. "Please, Luna. I don't blame you for never wanting to see him again or any of us or even hear about him. But I don't think it would be fair for you to go on with the rest of your life without hearing this. I believe that Harry loves you… a lot. He's a completely new person now and I think he's made all of his changes trying to be a better person for you… as if he's trying to deserve you and atone for how he treated you all in one go."

Luna sighed. "Ginny…" she began, rubbing her fingers against her temples. She suddenly had a splitting headache.

"I'm not saying this to convince you of anything. It's just… it's the truth, okay? And it's not exactly easy for me to be sitting here telling you this either. I was engaged to him… don't forget about that little detail. And he was going through his… whatever while we were together too. Do you think that I don't realize that I wasn't a good enough reason for him to change? Because I do and it is painful, even after all this time," Ginny said softly. Luna dropped her hands to her side and watched Ginny with caution. Ginny was right – Luna had not realized what it must have taken for her to come here…

"But he's a new man and it is because of you. He doesn't drink anymore at all. After everything, he gave up his flat and moved in with Ron and Hermione because he did not trust himself alone and wanted to make sure that he had no opportunities to slip. He is an Auror… has been for nearly half a year… and I think we can both agree that it couldn't have been an easy feat for Harry to convince Kingsley Shacklebolt that he deserved that kind of job. Not after everything… And Harry came to each one of us and apologized. Merlin, he and I spoke for hours just about everything and what had happened…"

Ginny paused and shook her head, attempting to focus. "I'll say it again, Luna. I'm not trying to persuade you to take him back. But I think that you of all people deserve the best chance at making an informed decision… If you decide to be completely done with Harry, that's your choice and you'd be making it with your eyes open." Ginny stood. "I would not have come here without being absolutely convinced of everything I've just said. He loves you, Luna."

Ginny stepped out from between the chair and the table, and turned to leave the way that she came in. Luna covered her eyes with her hands, unsure of what to think or even of what to do.

"Oh, and Luna? Thank you for your wedding gift… it was lovely. Where'd you find it?"

Luna dropped her hands from her face and looked at Ginny in momentary confusion. How could a person go from turning her personal life upside down to discussing plants?

"What? Oh. It's a flower from South Africa… a desert flower. It isn't magical naturally… but I put a preserving charm on it. Just make sure to put it in direct sunlight…. No other care needed," she responded as if she were a robot. Ginny smiled at her.

"I swear Dean's in love with it. He's borrowing a ton of books from Neville and won't stop talking about gardening now… thanks to you, I s'pose," Ginny responded.

Luna smiled meekly. "I saw the color of the petals and instantly thought of your hair," she confessed. Ginny nodded.

"Dean said the exact same thing. Anyway, goodbye," Ginny said and with that, she was gone.

Luna stood in her empty kitchen for a long while after her unwanted guest departed, staring at the same spot on a cracked tile on her floor and did not move. Finally, after the setting sun began to cast long shadows across the walls, Luna pushed herself away from her perch and glanced around the darkening room. At the back of a bookshelf, covered with at least a half inch worth of dust, Luna found the long forgotten bottle of wine and she moved to grab it.

Luna wasn't typically a drinker, but she'd need some courage if she was going to get through her task tonight. Bottle in hand, Luna ascended the steps of her house until finally she reached her bedroom at the top of the staircase. Luna plopped down on the side of the bed and took a long look at the bundle of letters that were staring at her, expectantly. Uncorking the bottle, she took a long swig of the dry red and cringed at its bitter bite. She set the wine down next to Harry's letters with a clunk and reached for the pile, setting it in her lap. Luna felt the weight of them against her legs and she hesitated – did she really want to do this? Was it really worth it… to pick the scab off of this wound and see what lay beneath?

With a deep breath, Luna picked up the bottom most of the letters and broke the seal. It was dated one day after she left.

Luna.

Where are you? I'm going absolutely insane…