Disclaimer: The only part of Castle that I own is the TV on which I watch the show.
Beckett blinks her eyes, slowly, several times. It's almost like a turtle, he thinks, though she couldn't be less turtle-like. Someone who didn't know her well might assume that she's tired, when she's quite the opposite.
She raises her head, but she's looking straight ahead. "You asked me about humming, a little bit ago. Have I been humming more lately? The answer is yes, I have." She pauses for what seems to be forever but is probably only seconds. "I used to hum all the time when I was growing up, and then I stopped. I've hardly hummed in the last twelve years. The thing is, even if I hum something like 'Supper Time,' which is a crushingly sad song, I do it only when I'm happy."
Now she turns towards him. She's not expressionless, but he can't quite identify it. Serene? Maybe she's serene. "That night, ten nights ago, after we got the boys, after you got your hand bandaged, I went home."
"With Josh." Jesus, had he not learned his lesson? Keep your mouth shut, he tells himself.
She blinks again, twice, before continuing. "No, not with Josh. I asked him please not to come with me, that I needed to be alone. When I got there, I just brushed my teeth and went to bed—I was exhausted, you know?" She stops again, and takes a deep breath. "But I was buzzing with adrenalin, and I had a terrible time getting to sleep. In the morning I hauled myself out of bed and while I was waiting for the coffee to brew, I suddenly noticed that I was humming. You know what it was?"
He doesn't say anything this time, just shakes his head.
"One of my favorite songs. 'All the Things You Are.' You must know it. I realized I was doing it right at this one line, 'Someday my happy arms will hold you.' And then I stood there in my kitchen and sang it, sang it as loud as I could. And it was very clear, even to me, exactly what was going on, not just in my head but in, uh, my life." She stops, and then she starts. "That you make me happy." Another pause, and this time she runs her tongue uncertainly over her bottom lip. "That was a real kiss, all right. That was one hell of a kiss."
She puts both hands out, palms up, to make sure he doesn't say anything.
"I was so happy, Castle, but so scared. I got through the day somehow, but as soon as my shift was over I went to the hospital and broke things off with Josh. And when I left I kept thinking, he never made me hum." She chokes on a laugh. "Oh, my God, that sounded filthy. Not a word, Castle. Not a word." She slides her hand across the sofa and puts it on top of his. "I'm so happy, but I'm still scared. I'm not ready to leap into anything quite yet, you know? Have to find my feet first."
He decides to take the chance. He doesn't say anything, but he does use his free hand to point at her feet, and smile.
"Yeah, I know. But Castle, everything that's happened in the last ten days, especially the last couple of hours? This is a lot to digest."
"Especially on top of filet mignon," he says, smiling. "And honey-roasted peanuts."
"Yeah," she looks shy again, like a middle-schooler with her first crush. "So, I'm going to go home now. And I'll see you tomorrow, right? Will you come in, even if there's no new case? You can pretend to help me with paperwork."
"Do you promise to hum?"
"Only loud enough for you to hear."
He lifts their joined hands and kisses her knuckles. "It's a deal."
They get up from the sofa and walk to the door. He's helping her on with her coat when she spins around and locks her arms around his neck, and hums something in his ear. "Give me a kiss," she whispers.
"Like the warehouse kiss?" he whispers back.
"Yeah, like that. And Castle?"
"What?"
"Don't be surprised by my tongue."
But he was. He didn't know a tongue could do what hers did.
"Perfect," she says afterwards, and breaks away. She's reaching for the door knob when he stops her.
"Wait, Beckett, wait. Can I ask you a question?"
"Okay, but just one."
"What were you humming just now?"
She smiles and puts her hand on his cheek. "I'll tell you later. Night, Castle."
How the hell is he supposed to go to sleep now? Maybe if he hits himself in the head with a frying pan. This had been one of the strangest evenings of his life, and look how it turned out. He knows he has to let her find her feet, but he wishes he could hurry her along. He tidies up the kitchen and living room and finally goes to bed. He's almost asleep when his phone rings, and he reaches for it so eagerly that he drops it.
"Shit. Ow!" He manages to hit the accept button just in time. "Beckett?"
"Hang up, Castle."
"Hang up? Excuse me, you just called me."
"I know."
"Well, don't you want to talk to me?"
"No, I do not. I want to talk to your voicemail, so hang up."
"Okay, okay. You're so bossy."
"I thought you liked that about me."
"I do, I do."
"Then hang up."
"I will. Night."
"Night."
Within seconds, the phone rings again. It takes more self-control than he thought he had not to pick up, but he doesn't. He lets five minutes drag by before he listens to his voicemail.
"You wanted to know what I was humming at the door. It's something by Louis Armstrong. I'm gonna hum it and then I'm gonna sing it because that's how I'm feeling. I think you'll like the words." Sure enough, there's her throaty hum, for thirty seconds. He's already beginning to moan—and then she starts to sing. He remembers her perfect alto when they all sang on the way to the Old Haunt a couple of months ago. He'd been so surprised by it, and he can't imagine why. And here she is again, except this time, it's just for him. No one else is joining in; no Ryan or Espo to listen to, only Beckett.
"Give me a kiss to build a dream on,
And my imagination will thrive upon that kiss.
Sweetheart, I ask no more than this,
A kiss to build a dream on."
And now he can hardly breathe. He hits pause and waits for his heart rate to decelerate. It's torture not to play the rest. Maybe he should wait until the morning to continue. There's a good form of delayed gratification, since there's going to be a period of that now, while Beckett finds her feet. Her feet. Her feet are attached to those unbelievable legs, those legs that he can almost feel wrapped around him now. Delayed gratification. He puts down the phone and tries to sleep. Maybe he'll just listen to the humming part. He does, and stops again.
He wonders if this is what addicts feel like when they're waiting for a hit. He's jonesing for her voice.
He plays her singing the first verse, and stops it again. He'll go to sleep now. There's nothing wrong with his imagination. His imagination is thriving. Off the charts. Exploding.
The first thing he sees when he wakes up is his phone. He goes to voicemail before he's got even one leg out of bed. Verse two in that voice that can liquefy his heart:
"Give me a kiss before you leave me,
And my imagination will feed my hungry heart.
Leave me one thing before we part,
A kiss to build a dream on."
Holy mother of God. He needs to take a cold shower if he's going to the precinct.
He shows up at Beckett's desk with the two coffees, no pain au chocolat. Just the normal. The usual. Except nothing is usual.
"Hey, Castle," she says.
"Morning, Beckett."
"Fancy seeing you here when there's no case. No fresh corpse. Just a foot-high stack of files."
"I love the smell of paperwork in the morning, Detective."
Esposito stops by. "Yo, Castle. What are you doing here?"
"Is that any way to greet the man who lets you drink free at his bar?"
"Yeah, well, we don't usually see you on homicideless days."
"If you must know, I'm here to annoy Beckett, and to avoid my ex-wife, who is hounding me for pages of my next book. Killing two birds with one stone."
"You calling me a bird, Castle?" she asks.
"Would that annoy you?"
"Yes."
"My work is done, then."
"Espo?" Beckett says, turning to her colleague. "Would you see if you can entertain this guy, please?"
"What's it worth?"
"A box of doughnuts."
"Done. Come over here, Castle."
He's happy to hang out with the boys for a bit, gives him a chance to watch her without her knowing it. Eventually he wanders into the break room, allegedly to get a bottle of water. He takes out his phone, types out something and waits for Beckett to pick up. When he sees her trying not to laugh, he returns to his chair.
"Very good, Castle."
"You liked that?"
"Yes. A picture of my feet and your saying that they're easy to find? Very good."
"Not as good as your song," he says quietly.
"You liked that?"
"I did."
She flips open a folder, takes out a pen and starts making notes.
He's not sure that he hears it at first, so he concentrates. Oh, yes, there it is.
"Is that what I think it is, Beckett?"
"What?"
"What you're humming."
"What do you think I'm humming?"
" 'Dream a Little Dream of Me'."
"Bingo."
"Two can play at this game, you know."
"Really? I dare you."
"Challenge accepted." He starts to hum, as softly as she had been.
She covers her mouth with her hand, but it doesn't completely stifle her laugh. " 'Getta Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car' ?"
"Well, I do have a Ferrari, Beckett."
"Is it true what they say about a Ferrari? Since you've never let me drive yours."
"What do they say?"
"That it's sex on wheels."
TBC