**So sorry for the horrid delay. My only excuse is an absolutely terrible case of writers block that has remained until a week ago when it finally left to harass someone else :) Again sorry and I do hope this part is to your liking**
***I do not own InuYasha or any affiliated characters***
~*Part Four*~
It had been four days since he had found her with the children. Sesshomaru watched out the open screen as she walked in the garden. She was no doubt well now, and yet he couldn't bring himself to make her leave. She said nothing about going either, perhaps she wanted to stay. While part of him welcomed her presence, the other part of him considered her a liability and a distraction. He could not seem to stop watching her, especially when she walked, parasol in hand her maid following as well as a few of the servant children.
"Lord Sesshomaru I have a list of items that you requested and…" Jaken said interrupting his wandering mind. Sesshomaru walked away without replying and headed to his desk. Jaken still followed him still trying to read the list.
"Jaken, what are the servants saying about Rin?" he asked interrupting the toad again as he turned to take the list, feigning interest in what it said.
"Well I…um told them that she was your ward years ago when you used to hunt Naraku. Some asked if she was going to be a servant but most of them soon realized that that couldn't be so." Jaken began to fidget and looked intently at the floor. "She…seems to have taken a liking to visiting the stables. She also has befriended the kitchen staff." Jaken attempted to shuffle the stack of paper that Sesshomaru had unceremoniously shoved back at him.
"Do they consider her a threat?" he wondered.
"None have said such to myself." Jaken began "Though the fact that she has stopped wearing the more elaborate kimonos has perhaps made her more approachable."
"Hn..." was his only reply.
"Most think she is an exceptional human and have taken a liking to her" Jaken continued "while others respect her presence here for your sake my lord."
That made him cringe inside. For my sake? "My vassals?" he asked remembering the Rat demons words.
"Well some of them have…they um… have said ah…" Jaken gulped clearly afraid to continue.
"Jaken." Sesshomaru warned him with a glare.
Jaken gulped again and began to shake. "Several of them think that she is your um…" he stopped bowing low no doubt to hide his face he squeaked "But not me my lord I do not think she is your mistress!"
Sesshomaru stared at the toad. They thought that she…
"Leave" He said without looking up. He glared at the sound of the door sliding shut, as though it was to blame for the offense. Idiots, all of them!
He was not going to entertain mistresses, he never had, not after his Fathers...Error. No, he had decided long ago that when he chose to be with someone as a lover and mate, it would not be under such a low fashion. Sesshomaru snorted and shuffled aside several more papers, attempting to think about something else.
It did not work.
Demons did not have any qualms about sexual relations between Demons of power. When a Demon, on rare occasion, found company in a humans arms however it was considered taboo. Even though his father had several females he favored, (Sesshomarus own mother being the highest on that list for a time) it was still a great disgrace that he had allow himself to be seduced by the human princess. He doubted very much that humans looked upon such relationships kindly either. Evident as even his Fathers consort suffered because of her copulation with a demon. She had, as far as he knew, been all but shut out from her own kind. Though that may have had more to do with her being obviously with said demons child.
A low growl escaped as he tried, with little success to push away this train of thought. He was not his Father and Rin was not some flighty Princess. This thought pleased him more than he anticipated as he considered the difference. His fathers woman had been a pampered and no doubt spoiled human, most likely incapable of doing anything useful.
Rin was more than capable, while still human and in some ways fragile, she could fend for herself. Find food, hide, fight when needed, she cowered before none.
Not even me.
Sesshomaru shook his head. Dam his wondering mind!
The parchment before him was a land proposal from the north. His eyes scanned the offer without really seeing it.
His musing had stirred something he had not really before considered a necessity. A Female to sire heirs from. This was about the time his father had mated his mother...
There were several Demonesses that were equal in heritage, though not in power to him. If fact the more he considered it there might be one or two such offers somewhere in this pile of paperwork.
Even as Sesshomaru began looking for them he stopped. None would be what he wanted. All demonesses came, inherently, with an arrogance and a thirst for power. Even his own mother soon abandoned his father for more Power. Most demons, male or female, would mate out of lust full instinct rather than a genuine affection to each other. While it was not uncommon to come together for the singular intent of producing heirs. Even children were often unwanted...
Ignoring the old sting of a long healed scar on his mind Sesshomaru contemplated this aspect of his species. The way in which they often procreated. It seemed to him, a flaw suddenly. Perhaps the reason humans were outbreeding them and quickly outnumbering demon kind was due to the bonds they formed...
He knew that humans held special rituals to proclaim their bond to all. Even the Halfbreed has gone through with the human ritual before he bedded his Miko. With a slight twinge in his eyebrow, he recalled with distain how InuYasha Miko had send HIM an invitation! He sent no replied but had arrived, to visit Rin as he once did at her young age, and it happened to be that day. It was odd to witness the bonding ritual, it all seemed so unnecessary. But still they had stayed together, even spawning several offspring and keeping them.
No, a mistress was not something he wanted. Any child from a mistress stood the chance of being either taken from him, or being abandoned with him when the mother bored of their arrangement. Demons had never held such bonding customs as humans did, but if he chose to take a mate, he would perhaps find one who would be willing to make a lasting bond. All would know exactly where Rin stood at his side and in his home.
Sesshomaru stopped short at his conclusions. Looking inside at his unintentional train of thought, he almost smiled.
Rin at his side.
He glared at the offending presumption, challenging it to resurface again…
Taking the Land proposal and forcing his focus on it he suddenly decided that this particular offer needed to be seen to personally. Yes, he needed to be free of the confines of his home. He needed fresh air where Rin's scent was not lingering, driving him to distraction!
o0o
Rin was well now and had been for nearly a week and yet he had not sent her away. While still unsure if this was a good thing or a bad thing, she still longed for an answer. He seemed to care for her, his attention undoubted as he had taken a few more evening walks with her. While she had enjoyed every second of them, he still seemed so distant.
Unfortunately, beyond their few privet moments he never spoke to her, remaining far away at all times as though she was in a bubble. Though Rin had decided that she needed to tell him her feeling she didn't want to ruin her time with him. Sure that he would send her away for such presumptions she had, so far, held her tongue and simply enjoyed her moments with him.
All but the day he had found her fishing with the small demon children. He had been so cold to her, turning from her touch and refusing to look at her. She felt sure that it was because of her undignified behavior. But she simply could not bring herself to don the appearance of royalty. Her soul was too free, her desires contrary to the path noble women tread.
Every day her kimono's were put out for her and she was always shocked at the beauty of each one. Yakio still insisted that she was a lady of high standing, according to her lord, but Rin would simply refuse such finery each time. "If it was a special event I could understand but they are so impractical!" she had insisted. Yakio was clearly unsatisfied but bowed to her request.
The household servants had at first remained suspicious and guarded around her. But they soon came to know her better. Demons had never frightened Rin, she treated them as she would anyone and so with her smiles and happy disposition she won over the majority of the household servants and even a few of his vassals.
"When is lunch?" She asked as the sun climbed higher.
"Not for an hour My Lady" Yakio said clearly annoyed again as she put away the fancy kimono that Rin had refused that to put on.
"Couldn't we eat early?" She inquired hopeful yet unsurprised when Yakio snorted "No" as she walked out. For a while Rin tried to remain entertained with her scroll that she had been reading. Yakio would be very annoyed if she went seeking food before it was time. The poor lizard did not approve of Rin and her wild ways. The Demoness liked things to be done properly, on time and within the rules always.
Rin grinned, perhaps she should ask Sesshomaru for a different maid? Give both of them a break? Immediately pushing aside the thought, no doubt that would look bad for Yakio, who was not at fault for their personality clash.
Still she was hungry, an hour seemed far off when the stomach was empty now. Feeling more than a little annoyed at her own guilt she went in search of lunch. At the door to her room she paused. If she went this way no doubt Yakio would see her, and then stop her. Shaking her head Rin turned and leaving through the garden and then swinging around the mansion, cutting a path across the open courtyard toward the back of the impressive building. The servants entrance to the kitchen was back there and she knew they would make sure she received food. Smiling at the thought of Yakio, annoyed at her for using that entrance, made her go a little faster.
Her speed, as she ran around the corner, left no chance to avoid a collision with someone. Her nose hurt where she had smacked it against the chest armor of a bear demon. Holding her now sore nose she stared up at the rather tall demon. She knew he was a guard from the crest on his shoulder.
He turned a glare at her, which only deepened as he became aware it was her. "What d'ya want?" he demanded angrily shoving something behind his back.
Rin blinked several times, caught off guard by his angry sounding voice. "I'm sorry I didn't see you. I was just..." she paused at the sound of a quiet whimper coming from whatever was behind him.
"Who is that?" she asked impulsively as she tried to see who was whimpering and though the bear tried to block her she could see a kimono clearly between his legs.
"Move along human, this is none of your business!" he snarled at her. Rin shuddered under the apparent anger, the term 'human' sounding distinctly like a curse. His breath stank of Sake and his words had a minute slur. He had been drinking, though she doubted he was very drunk.
Taking a strategic step back Rin lifted her chin a bit "I apologize but it is my business" Looking him over it was clear that he was not going to back down, but his sword arm was holding whoever it was behind him from her view.
He snorted angrily "Oh, think yourself a queen now human? Think because My lord fancies a tumble in your blankets you have a say now?"
Her anger spiked sharply at his insinuation. "It is my business because I make it mine. Who is that?" she demanded again as she bent her knees ever so slightly so she could bolt if needed.
"Cocky little thing aren't you!" He let the woman free to place his hand on his sword hilt. A small Demoness, though what she was exactly Rin wasn't sure, backed away. Her kimono front ripped, her eyes wide as she took stock of the situation before bolting.
"What were you doing?" Rin said, disgusted to find such behavior, and knowing full well what he had been doing.
"Havin' a lil' fun whats it to you?" He demanded.
"If the other party is not enjoying your fun then you should leave them be." She said. A part of her shied away from this confrontation. The demons eyes were becoming redder by the minuet. He stood to his full height and glowered down at her. It took all of her will power not to back down, though she did flinch. He carried a sword, a large one... However he had yet to draw it, his hand simply resting on the hilt. He had a small dagger tucked on the other hip and an axe strapped across his back too. Surely he wouldn't dare... Lord Sesshomaru would no doubt... The thought ended as she realized that she didn't know what he would do.
"I can do what I want. And you..." He said menacingly as his hand came to be around her arm so quickly she didn't even see it move. Her feet barely touching the ground as he pulled her closer. Rin squeaked in fright, her heart racing as his arm pulled her close. Without really deciding too her one free hand reached for the dagger in his belt, praying he would not notice. "You won't be saying a word or else I will be... Arggg..." he growled as Rin ran the dagger across his arm forcing him to let go.
She stumbled back. With a sharp pain onto her hind end, she hit the ground, sore but free of him and with a danger in hand. Her moment of triumph was cut short as the bear glared at her through red eyes. With the distinct feeling of death looming over her Rin held the danger up ready to defend herself.
Rin swallowed against the lump of fear in her throat. "Look, just go I won't tell anyone, you don't have t..." she was stopped as the bear crouched ready to lunge at her. Im going to die...again.. Her mind helpfully offered.
Her train of thought cut short as a flash of white suddenly streaked between them.
o0o
Sesshomaru tried with little success to control his anger as he held the bear demon aloft. This situation should not have been happening. He had gone to the northern border only to return in time to see this foolish bear threatening Rin.
"What is the meaning of this?" he demanded. The bear gurgled something, drawing attention to his neck, which Sesshomaru held tightly. Regarding the situation further, Sesshomaru decided that he did not care what the bear had to say he would simply die for his trespass.
"I..." Began Rin, who seemed to think the question was directed at her, pulled his attention from the bears deserved fate. "I found him harassing a female so...I..." she paused as he turned his eye at her disbelieving. Letting the bears feet touch the ground as it cowered and fought for breath through his grip.
"You, what?" His voice was strained, annoyed that she was in such danger, in his own home, on his lands she should fear nothing.
"Stickin' er... nose where it don't belong..." The bear growled out, apparently deciding that he was no longer the target of Sesshomaru's wrath. Said wrath returned full force and Sesshomaru growled.
"No Lord Sesshomaru don't" Rin begged suddenly at his side with her small hand on his arm. How could she ask such a thing? This demon had her death in his eyes and yet she was asking mercy for it? Torn between annoyance and amazement he glared down at her.
"He will die for his offense" Sesshomaru snarled
"Its simply an offense... You don't... he doesn't have to die for something so trivial" She looked as though she might cry.
Why did she care? Was she a fool, with a certainty this Demon would only seek revenge if allowed to leave. With a sudden shock he realized just how innocent she truly was. She who knew death so closely. He knew she was an orphan, no doubt her family died before her own eyes. Then her own death...twice. She who knew death as closely as he knew about dealing it out still wouldn't wish its cold grip on any, even one who so clearly desired her blood on its filthy bear claws. She was so pure, a happy innocence in a world as corrupt as a festering wound. Sesshomaru pushed away the rising admiration for her gentle soul and forced a mask of calm onto his features.
"You ask for his life?" He demanded.
She blushed, her scent a odd mix of emotion as she took a deep breath "Yes" She said with determination "Just send him away" she added as Sesshomaru dropped the offending bear.
Sesshomaru pulled out his sword and glared at the now gasping bear. "Leave." He snarled. The bear stood defiance in its eyes, but he bowed low snarling as he backed away then ran. Sesshomaru stood, his back to her and tried to breath deep. "You are foolish" He stated. Her small hand still rested on his arm. He looked at it, gentle, delicate...easily killed.
"I, just couldn't let him attack..." She paused as his glare deepened. As though she suddenly noticed her own hand on him she pulled it away. "It...was none of my business..." she began to mumble again.
"You are fool for your mercy!" Sesshomaru said cutting in, his voice low and quiet as he tried to maintain his calm. "Mercy has created more enemies than allies" Sheathing his sword Sesshomaru turned to her.
Rin blinked several times as her eyes became wet with unshod tears. "I, I am sorry My Lord" she said looking at her feet.
Sesshomaru sighed, why was she being so emotional about this?
With her eyes still down and a quiver in her voice she shrugged "When such mercy has been shown to me I just..."
"That is not of the same kind" He snarled. How dare she compare his first, and arguably his only, genuine act of mercy to this? She shrunk away from his outburst and he felt a sharp pang of regret at his tone.
"I apologize My Lord" she said with a short bow. Before, to his amazement, she turned and walked away from him.
Why was she speaking to him like that? Twice now she refused to say him name. For reason unknown he was annoyed by that. He watched her walk for a moment before he glared after her. "You were not given leave" he said to her retreating back. She paused and turned back to him. Her face changed, hardened somehow to become a cold mask he was unaccustomed to seeing on her face, she did not speak as he approached her.
In only a few steps he was standing in front of her "A mercy shown to a Demon who seeks your blood!" He began "Mercy creates weakness. Do you think that such an act will save you, should you cross that Demons path again?"
She said nothing.
"Your mercy is waisted on such as he, unworthy, incapable of even being useful to your future"
Her eyes hardened again and Sesshomaru felt, oddly, that he was treading on thin ice.
"Mercy should only be shown to one who will be able to give repay in kind?" She demanded. Looking resolutely at her fist, which was clenched.
"Yes" He affirmed. Surely she could see that she was wrong.
Her eyes slowly rose to his, they were wet with tears, but she did not look mad she looked angered. Sesshomaru was suddenly very aware that he had never seen her angry like this. He actually flinched, internally, at her hard gaze.
"YOU!" she began, pointing her small finger at him. "Were once a Demon who sought My blood" Sesshomaru opened his mouth, intent on defending himself when she shook her head stopping him. Then turning her finger at herself. When she spoke her words left him stunned and ashamed. "As I was the unworthy subject of your MERCY!" Without another word or look she ran from him.
o0o
An hour Later Taichi found Rin hiding in the garden. Her tear streaked face blank as she stared out at nothing. Rin sighed, she did not want to talk to anyone. Least of all a member of his household.
The Dog smiled "No need for tears" he said standing front of her. "Izinyaso has been dismissed and will not threaten you again"
Rin blinked a few times before she started laughing. Thats what they thought she was mad about?
Taichi grinned at her small outburst. "Several saw what happened, he was at fault and it is a wonder Milord did not kill him then. You have got guts girl. First I find you in the stable doing as ya like then you are challenging a guard"
Rin sniffed, still chuckling at this conversation "I am not worried about the bear." She sighed leaning back against the tree for support. "I think its time for me to go" she said finally voicing the thought she had carried all day. Saying it out loud made fresh tears form in her tired eyes.
"Has Lord Sesshomaru dismissed you?" Taichi asked.
"Not directly" she mumbled.
Taichi shook his head "Milord sure can pick em" He mumbled. Before she could ask what he meant Taichi sat against the tree too and stretched out his long legs. "He was always such an odd person, even as a child many couldn't figure him out much"
Rin nodded "It took a while, but I can usually understand him. After today I understand that its best if I go"
Taichi began picking at the grass "I was the one who heard what you two were yelling at each other Rin"
Rin blushed. "I shouldn't be here..."
"If he did not wish for your company Rin" Taichi interrupted casting a glare her direction "He would have sent you home a long time ago"
"But..."
"No. Tell me girl. When has Lord Sesshomaru ever put up with company he did not enjoy?" Rin had no answer to that, he did seem to only keep company with a small amount of people. "Even Jaken-sama has, at times, been cast from his side. Sesshomaru has always done what he pleased"
"I have been nothing but an annoyance and a burden to him since..." she paused unsure if any knew of his actions that day. "I offer no power, no alliances of any merit, I cannot even use a weapon properly" She added her voice rising as she allowed her worries to be voiced "By his own admission his act of mercy was waisted one me"
"Hey now, I heard you two, and I think he did not mean his words that way!" Taichi said defensively.
Rin laughed a short hollow laugh and stood abruptly "If his act of mercy was not waisted on me then WHY did he waste it on me?" she demanded suddenly feeling woefully inadequate.
Taichi snorted "Why Jaken? He is annoying, loud, whiney and frankly weak. Why Ah-Un? They are an abnormality among dragon kind, did you know that? Most would have killed them at their hatching but Sesshomaru singled them out, trained them himself even"
Rin had not know that.
"Why does he keep servants that are among the weakest yokai? He has been odd since he was born, he refused to conform, even as a pup"
"You knew him as a child?"
To that he nodded "I am just a bit older than him actually. My father was his fathers game keeper as well and I remember when he was born" Taichi looked down at Rin and smiled "So I know better than most that he is a most loyal soul."
Rin wrinkled her brow at that. "Loyal?" not understanding what he meant by that.
"InuYokia are, by nature, a fiercely loyal breed. Our loyalty once placed cannot easily be broken"
"I...Loyalty is not..."Rin broke off her words, unwilling to discuss her true thoughts with even Taichi.
"I might suggest that if talking to people is hard you might consider finding someone who listens but does not respond. A good ear and nothing to say in return leaves the mind free to let go the questions it wants to ask."
Rin laughed "Sage advice, but who can do that?"
"Lots of things, trees, rivers, mountains..." He shrugged then stood "Or, as Lord Sesshomaru found out long ago, Ah-Un has never beed a good talker." Taichi said before he winked and turned to walk away.
o0o
Sesshomaru was pacing his study floor. As he had been for the last three days. Her words echoing in his mind, her face behind his eyes whenever he closed them. She was so gentle and innocent, how had she become so fiery and angry in one encounter. Had she always been this way? Perhaps she hid this part of herself from him over their time together. Jaken did complain of the child Rin at all times in their traveling days.
Running his claws through his hair he sat at the desk, repressing a growl at his thoughts, that seemed content to linger on her. No matter what he tried to do she interfered in his mind. Worse was the effect she had on him after yelling at him.
She is powerful in her own right, she would be a good companion.
"She would be easy prey for any" He affirmed to himself. Snarling at the ardent thought, thoughts that were becoming more frequent, Sesshomaru grabbed a handful of papers and began sorting them. "I would, of course not allow such a trespass against what is ..." He said stopping at the unfinished thought and resolutely concentrated on the papers.
Among the parchment was a paper that looked official so he broke the seal and began to read.
Sesshomaru looked down at the formal challenge and found himself wishing he had a convenient neck to brake. He could feel his blood beginning to boil at the words that had been written. What a fool this demon was to send a challenge in such a low manner! "JAKEN!" he growled and within moments Jaken came scrambling in as fast as he could and literally fell into the floor in an attempt to bow.
"Y…Yes my lord"
Tossing the parchment in his direction he growled. "Do you know who this demon is who dares to challenge me so?"
Jaken picked up the parchment and looked in surprise at the challenge a quick look and he understood his lord's extreme anger.
Sesshomaru, Lord of the western lands and mighty Yokai. I challenge you, your death will be at my hands for your actions. Any Yokai that brings himself so low as to bed a human mortal is unworthy of his title and lands, and as a son who has fallen to the weakness of his father is also undeserving I await you at the falls of eternity at the full moons rising.
Izinyaso
"My lord this demon is the bear that milord dismissed three days ago. He has been causing trouble in the south of your lands"
Sesshomaru stood and without another word stormed out the door, the handle melting at his touch as he could barely control his powers under such a challenge. How DARE this upstart even think about not only challenging him but also to imply that he and Rin…
He slowed his pace as servants scurried out of his path. He had not seen Rin since she had yelled at him. Something that he was still angry at her for having the audacity of doing. But then that small part of him mind that was beginning to see her as more than an obligation stated its opinion.
She is strong of will and honest of nature, it is what makes her beautiful.
Dam his mind. He hated this feeling of being two entities in one mind.
He stepped out of his home and looked over the courtyard thinking that perhaps he should ride Ah-Un instead of simply flying there in his anger. Haste and uncontrolled anger caused errors when one fought battles, a lesson he had learned at his half-brother's hand. Letting ones opponent cause you to become reckless in your anger was always a bad choice.
He turned to the stable. His path cutting across the courtyard near where she had yelled at him. Her words still stung in a way she had only ever made him feel before. He felt Guilt! And worse, his attempts to squash the offending feeling, led only to thoughts of his apologizing to her!
Yes, Sesshomaru was in a state of angered confusion, and his mind helpfully informed him that this was not a state to rush into a battle. The moon was three days from being full, he should take Ah-Un and travel at a leisurely pace.
Finally his mind was offering something useful! He quickened his step as he approached the stable. And the he could sense her within and he stopped short. Standing at the edge of the structure he remained unsure. He could hear her, she talked to Ah-Un like she had done years ago as a child. Ignoring the fact that he was eavesdropping Sesshomaru listened to her, suddenly painfully curious what she would speak to them about.
"Ah-un I miss the days of riding on you, as we followed Sesshomaru-sama, I was so silly and young but he never sent me away." Her voice sounded as though she might cry. "I have been avoiding him." she said. Ah-Un snorted and she laughed "I know, I am foolish, but you two don't understand, I made him very angry" She paused again and Sesshomaru considered leaving right then but he was surprised by her words. She was concerned that he was angry, but it was he who avoided her! "I am afraid our time together will soon end" she sighed heavily as he puzzled at her worry "He will send me away and I am afraid I will never be happy again..." she stopped and sniffed, her tears no doubt falling. Sesshomaru could only stand still and listen, his body was refusing to respond, he wanted to move. But wether it was to her side or away he wasn't sure.
Gods... what was wrong with him?
"You lucky dragon, you have life easy, no major question to worry about" The dragons chuffed loudly and she laughed, a small sad laugh. "Yes what to eat is hard to decide" she joked with them "But more hard still is what do you do when the one you love may not return the affection? I know I need to tell him, ask him if I have any chance" She sniffed again and Sesshomaru felt his mouth go oddly dry. "Ah-Un I love him and I am afraid he doesn't love me as I do him"
Sesshomaru's mouth went suddenly dry. His emotions spiked with excitement. He had suspected that she felt such an emotion for him, even before she came here, he was no so blind as that. To hear it from her lips was another thing entirely, confirming the suspicion he felt made him annoyed at himself. Why had he not sent her away? Why had he brought her here, instead of back to her village when he found her sick in the woods. Why did he not send her away when he knew that she was no longer ill?
For the first time, since she had arrived, he allowed himself to question whether the answer was that he returned her love. It was true that he did not wish her gone. In point of fact he wished her to never leave his side. He wanted to protect her for the rest of her life, he wanted...Her.
Surprised and also very distressed Sesshomaru realized that he found that he did in fact love her.
This was not tolerable… I am not my father!
He yelled in the quiet of his mind and with his blood running hot and fast through his body and his eyes threatening to turn red he looked up to the sky and flew, trying to get away from the cause of his anger. But how can you flee yourself?
**End**
***So... This is not the end. I know I said this story would happen in four parts but its just becoming to long and I want the ending to be perfect and that needs a proper lead up. :D So last part to come!***