Strangely Like Caring

It was a busy day downtown. People were bustling through the sidewalks, and hover vehicles hummed quietly along the streets. Cyclists zipped along in the bike lanes. A few clouds hung in the air. Sitting down near an outdoor kiosk, Frisk and Sans basked in the warm sunlight. Frisk had a hot dog. Sans had a gyro wrap.

"i've never had one of these before. i especially like the sauce." He tilted his head back and poured tzatziki sauce directly into his mouth. "gyro always getting me to try new things."

"Yeah."

Sans eyed all of the new condiments on the small table. "it'll be a while before i get my fala-fill of this new stuff."

"I'll curry you over to another restaurant and show you some other things."

"you're catching on, kid."

They quietly munched on their food. As they ate, a small drone buzzed overhead. It veered off, spun in a circle, and crashed into the side of a large building. A few bystanders watched as the debris fell to the ground.

"Have you thought about getting a job doing something?"

"mm... nah. most jobs require you to work. besides, doing nothing is hard too. you have to think about what you aren't going to do, and then avoid making a plan to not do it."

"That sounds like a plan. Maybe." Frisk continued working on his food. "It was interesting, Sans. You should have seen him."

"go on."

"Well, first he was destroying cities in the game. He was having fun with this. But later, he started building cities and taking care of them." Frisk leaned in. "See, that's what I wanted to find out. That's why I gave him that game. It would help me see where he was at. You know?"

"sounds like a neat game. maybe i should try it. what were you trying to find out exactly?"

"Whether or not he was able to care. Think about it Sans. If he really can't feel anything, then he wouldn't have played the game that way. He wouldn't have cared about building anything. Make sense?"

"interesting." Sans glanced across the street. "i wouldn't have expected it."

"I still don't believe that he can't feel. I think he just went through a very bad time, and cut himself off." He held his half-eaten hot dog. "It's just... this is deep."

Sans took a long swig of his seltzer water. He glanced around the intersection, watching the foot and vehicle traffic. A few pigeons scurried about on the ground, looking for crumbs.

"see, kid... flowey and i have a history."

"That doesn't surprise me. What kind?"

"not an easy one. let's just put it that way." He wolfed down a large portion of hummus. "maybe you already know this, but you and i have two very different ways of looking at him. when you look at him, you see who he used to be. when i look at him, i see who he is now." He grinned. "you're an optimist. as for me, maybe i'm a... what's the word? a realist. make sense?"

Frisk set down his food, staring ahead. "Yeah. It does." He rubbed his chin. "Maybe you need both views?"

"is there a right way to look at it? to tell you the truth kid... i don't know. all i can say is, just do what you feel is right."

"Do you think I'm doing the right thing? With all of this?"

"the only way you will know is to see where this takes you. maybe you think things are right or wrong. but maybe it's really a matter of what works and what doesn't. like i said, kid. you're in uncharted territory. nobody has ever done this before."

Sans stood up. "good luck. just take it easy. some of this probably isn't in your control."

Flowey was determined to beat Undyne this time. She was using a new fighter. She was pulling all kinds of new tricks. He was going to learn those tricks, and beat her all over again.

"I'm going to murder you!"

Undyne sneered. "Not before I punch you in the face! For the fiftieth time!"

Each time he lost, they reset. He would learn her strategy. He would beat her, only to watch her learn a different way of playing, and beat him back.

He would often believe he had learned all there was to learn, only to learn he was wrong. Her strategy was always different, always changing. He could never predict her.

Sometimes, they were on the same team. They worked together to fight off their enemies. Flowey was persistent, and hammered at his opponents over and over, completely wearing them down. Undyne exploited every weakness she could find and brought the opponents to their knees.

Scorched earth. No mercy.

They were a great team.

"We need a team name," said Undyne. "How about... 'Best Frenemies?'"

Of course, Flowey couldn't join her in her real fighting practice. But that was okay. She had other outlets for that. She was advancing rapidly in her martial arts training. She knew a lot about fighting. But so did the humans. There was always something new to learn.

From time to time, she would spar with Frisk. They would both use wooden swords or staves, or other training implements.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Undyne? I have bested you before, you know."

Undyne grumbled. "That wasn't *you*. Okay? That was... other circumstances!"

"Yeah. Sure."

Thwack. Thwack. Smack.

Frisk didn't always lose. It didn't matter. She was careful not to hurt him. He felt safer having her around anyway.

Even when she was busy on her favorite games.

"Rip and tear! Rip and tear!"

Alphys didn't like the fighting games at all. They were too gruesome for her tastes. Board games and turn-based games were her favorite. She found herself looking for someone to play those with too.

"W... what shall we play, Flowey?"

A sinister grin would cross Flowey's face. He would rub his leaves together. "How about 'Global Thermonuclear War'?"

"Uhh... a-heh. Wouldn't you prefer a good game of chess?"

Flowey was calculating enough to be effective at those kinds of games too.

"See what your problem is, Alphys? You trust me just a little too much. You don't think I'm going to do *this*!" With that, he knocked away Alphys' queen, replacing it with his knight.

Ouch. That hurt. But she knew better now. She wasn't going to make that mistake next time.

And when she finished painting all of her Battle Hammer figurines, she was definitely going to beat him at that too. After she found some that he could use too, of course.

Flowey could be snide. Cold. Ruthless. Cunning. Sharp as a knife's edge.

Even whenever he would share a tip. A trick. Maybe even, a bit of encouragement. In his own characteristic manner, of course.

"Come on, you idiot. Did you really think that would work? You can do better than this. You really should do it this way next time."

His passion was showing through. Increasingly, he was going from being a sullen spectator to a brash, sometimes overconfident participant.

His confidence was rubbing off on Alphys especially. She and Undyne both grew to love it. They couldn't get enough.

Things wouldn't have been the same without him.

Weeks went by.

Frisk approached him one day when he was sitting quietly. "How are you feeling, Flowey?"

Flowey snorted. "What am I, some kind of sick patient?"

"Don't mean to come across that way. I just want to you know someone cares about you. That's all."

"Okay." A pause. "Uh... Frisk?"

"Yeah?"

Another long pause. "I can't believe I'm asking you this, but... how do you feel things?" He looked blankly at Frisk. "How do you care about things?"

Pulling up a chair, Frisk took a seat next to him. "In what way?"

"Well... I haven't actually felt anything in a long time. I haven't felt like I care about anyone."

"You feel some things, don't you? I mean... when you watch movies, you get excited during action scenes and things like that, right? You like music. In fact, I know you like helping Alphys and Undyne. You're always giving them pointers."

"Yeah... I guess. But I know there's more I could feel too." He let out a nervous chuckle. "I just don't care about anyone, or anything. It feels like... a blank. It's hard to explain." He sighed and hung his head. "I wasn't always like this."

"Yeah."

"Maybe it's because of what happened. I tried for a long time afterwards to care. But I guess, to tell you the truth..." Flowey glanced down. "...I just never had anyone to talk to about it."

"You must have felt very alone. Maybe even isolated."

"...yeah. Nobody else understood. I saw them playing, having fun. They let me play with them. But why couldn't I feel what they were feeling?" He let out a sigh. "Why even say anything? They wouldn't have any idea what I was talking about."

"Yeah. That must have been very difficult." He paused. "You know what though?"

"What?"

Frisk leaned in. "If I went through what you did... I wouldn't have talked about it with anyone else."

Flowey's eyes went wide. "...yeah. What would be the point? They wouldn't understand anyway."

Frisk pursed his lips and propped his chin on his hand, staring straight ahead. "The thing is, Flowey... you tell me you don't care. But I just don't see that about you. I think you're very caring. Maybe you don't realize it." He kept his gaze straight ahead. "I mean... if you really didn't care, you wouldn't be asking me these things."

A soft chuckle. "...I don't see how you could say *that*." He gave a weak smile. "I mean... it doesn't feel like caring."

"It's okay not to feel things sometimes. Look at me. Do I look emotional to you?" He gave a small smirk. "You don't have to care about everything all the time."

"It doesn't seem right to never feel anything."

"I know. I wish there was something I could do to help you feel differently." Frisk glanced down at the floor. Then turned back to look at him. "You know what though? Maybe you won't believe me when I say this. But everyone really likes you here."

Flowey tilted his head. "Why would they like me? I'm not very nice to them."

"They know you. That's why. They still really enjoy spending time with you. You challenge them."

"R-really?" Flowey lifted his head up. "I mean... that doesn't make sense." He paused. "You're not just saying that, are you?"

"That's just what they've told me."

"Well... I thought you were just putting up with me."

"Nope."

"Huh." The blank expression returned to Flowey's face. "Well..."

"I told you before, Flowey. I wanted a happy ending. I decided it wasn't a happy ending if you were left out. It's really that simple. You can take that, or if you don't trust me, you can leave it. It's up to you. Either way, you just need to know that someone cares about you."

Silence.

Frisk looked at him in the eyes. "Even if you don't care. That's up to you too."

"That's... nice." Flowey looked around the room. "But I don't feel any more caring."

"Don't worry about it right now. Maybe someday, you will."

Being the ambassador to the monsters was surprisingly easy. Most of the humans were excited to meet the newcomers. Frisk spent most of his time on social networking sites answering questions that were posted onto his various pages. Sometimes he had to reassure the occasional visitor that the barrier that kept the monsters trapped in the Underground was, in fact, the result of an old conflict, and was not part of an ongoing government conspiracy.

This didn't stop further speculation. Maybe if there were monsters underground, there were also monsters in outer space. Maybe those monsters created a barrier that is keeping everyone trapped here. Maybe there are even bigger monsters keeping *those* monsters trapped.

Other questions came. Sometimes Frisk had an answer. Sometimes not.

Will the monsters take our jobs? No, of course not. That's what robots are for.

At any rate. It was okay not to know everything. He took it in stride. And the more everyone learned about the situation, the less his input was needed. Eventually, he may even return to some semblance of a normal life someday.

Yeah, right.

Even so, things carried on as usual. Day-to-day life was uneventful, for the most part. The down-time was valuable. Frisk often ventured alone to various areas in the city. Parks. The botanical gardens. The beach. Anywhere and everywhere, to reflect on the future.

Although he liked the outside ventures, Flowey tended to prefer staying at home. There was usually at least one other person at home, in any case, just in case he needed something.

Alphys pored over a book that she had found recently.

"Hai... genki... subarashii... ki-kisama wa... tsuyoku nai..." She looked over the text.

"Whatcha reading Alphys?"

"Oh! It's... it's a book about Japanese. And manga. I decided I'm going to try to learn it! It'll help me understand everything better."

"That determination is really showing."

"Y-yeah! It is! I know I can do it if I put my mind to it!" She glanced around. "Oh, by the way, Frisk. I heard there's this tea house nearby. Want to try it? I mean, I kinda want to get out of the house."

"You do?"

"Sure! I mean... I'm kinda surprised at that too, really. A-heh." She blushed a little bit.

The overcast sky loomed above the two as they sat in the outdoor garden, sipping their drinks. The tea house had a Japanese theme, with colorful fans on the walls and decorative folding screens. Plants were all over the place, some hanging in baskets from the ceiling. There were very few patrons, and very little traffic outside. Definitely not a peak hour.

On the wall next to their table were several vines, adorned by small flowers. Frisk examined one of the flower blossoms. He studied its pink petals, gently touching one of them between his fingers. It was slightly discolored and beginning to wilt.

"Wow... heh. This is really a neat place. I mean... I didn't think I'd get out of the house much. But every time I do, well... I'm glad I did!"

"You should go to Japan sometime." Frisk twirled his napkin around his finger. "I bet you would really like it there."

"T-that's a good idea. But... wow. That's a really big trip. Uhh... I don't think I could do that."

Frisk smirked. "You made the trip out of the Underground to the surface. You could make the trip there too." He took a sip of his tea. "Just an idea."

"Well... heh! I mean... there's always more to see and do, right?"

"There is." Frisk chuckled softly. "Maybe we could go together. Someday."

"Y-yeah! That would be great! I mean... if I had someone to go with, it would be easier." She glanced around the room. "You're so smart, Frisk. Where did you learn all these things? I mean... humans go to school, right?"

"I never had a lot of time for school." He took another sip of his tea. "What with... well, it's hard to explain."

"...oh. Uhh... but, you seem like you like learning."

"I do. But I don't think I would have liked school."

"I see..." She shifted her gaze around. "C...can I ask you something, Frisk? I mean, I don't want to... you know, be too personal. But I always wondered. Why, exactly..." She paused. "Why did you go to the mountain?"

Frisk looked at her. "I don't know. That's a good question. I guess..." He rested his chin on his hand. "Where else was I going to go? I could stay where I was. Wait for someone to find a home for me." He glanced back outside. "I didn't care about that anyway. I wanted an adventure."

"...I see."

"That's a long story. Maybe we can talk about it later."

"Y-yeah... I mean, I hope it's okay that I asked."

Frisk nodded. "Don't worry about it."

They continued sipping their drinks.

"So, Frisk. Uhh... what do you think about Flowey, so far?"

"What about him?"

"Well, I mean... he seems to be... how do you say it exactly? Like nothing's different."

"Like he's himself?"

"...yeah! That's it!"

"Yeah. You like playing games with him, don't you?"

"Well... the thing is... he's kind of, well... what's the word. Harsh? But... it doesn't bother me. Because he's fun to play with! I mean... he makes it fun. In his own way. You know?" She took another sip of her drink. "But... that's the thing. He's still himself. Like... the same as usual."

Frisk nodded. He turned and looked at the quiet scenery outside.

"Y-You really are concerned about him, aren't you?"

Frisk was silent for a few moments. "I felt really bad for him. He didn't deserve to go through what he did." He huffed. "I really wanted him to have a new life. I didn't care what he tried to do to me. I felt like I loved him just the same."

Alphys nodded slowly. "Y-yeah. Me too." She lifted her head up. "I think you did a really good thing though. Do you think... he could ever be himself again? I mean, like... his real self?"

"If it happens, it happens." Frisk shrugged. "If it doesn't, it doesn't. I really don't know, Alphys." Exhaling slowly, he squeezed the vine in his hand, crushing the petals. "This has to work. I know something is changing."

"Maybe! That would be really cool if it did. But, uh... you know... it's not your fault, though. What happened."

Frisk gazed silently at the meager amount of traffic outside. "Yeah. You're right. It's not." He rubbed his head.

Alphys glanced down. "Y-yeah..." He took a deep breath. "I mean... this is all up to you. But maybe... it can help if you talk to others too. About how you feel."

A slow nod. "Yeah... I should, huh?" He glanced back outside. "I guess I'm used to being on my own."

His finger ran up the vine, looking at a few flower buds that had not matured yet.

Alphys glanced down for a moment, before looking back up. "I was thinking about something actually, Frisk."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! So, with Flowey, well... you want him to grow his soul again, I guess. Right? Or help him find it? Or... regenerate it? Maybe? That's the idea?"

"Yeah. I guess so."

"Which makes sense because, well... he's a flower. I mean... that's what you do with flowers, right? You take care of them, and help them grow, and... nurture them, I guess."

Frisk thought for a moment. "Yeah. I see what you mean. I hadn't thought of it like that before."

"Yeah! So you want to nurture him, and help him grow. Except, you're trying to do that with his soul."

Frisk nodded. "Yeah. That makes sense actually."

Alphys' expression brightened again. "So, maybe that's why this is a really good idea! What you're doing."

"I hope you're right, Alphys."

"W-well... cheer up, Frisk! Flowey's lucky to have a good friend like you. No matter what happens. I'm sure he appreciates it. You know... even if... even if he doesn't say anything."

"Yeah... I hope so." He clutched his napkin. "I can't give up on him. And I'll still take care of him no matter what."

Alphys gave a slight smile. "I-I want you to know something though, Frisk. You did a lot for me, and everyone else. I want to be there for you too. I'm here to help you any way I can."

Frisk looked at her, his eyes wet. "Thanks, Alphys. That really means a lot to me." He finally finished the last bit of tea.

The inside of the house was quiet and dark one evening. Flowey glanced around the room a little bit.

Something was different.

He noticed a strange figure in the middle of the room. Something seemed familiar about her.

"Hello Asriel." She had a sweet smile, and a sweater with a heart on it. She walked up to him silently. Slowly. "Do you remember me? Your best friend?"

"Y-yeah... yeah, I do remember." His face was locked in confusion. It felt off, somehow, being called by his real name.

"Good." She approached him. He caught a closer glimpse of her face. Cheerful and innocent, were it not for those solid black eyes. "Now I want you to come back. We're going to be good friends again, okay? It'll be just like before."

A sinking feeling came over Flowey. "I..."

"Shhh... it's going to be alright. This is just a bad dream. We can be together and have fun again. Reach out and touch my hand, and we'll be best friends again. Forever."

Flowey kept his leafy arms close to himself. Was she even real? Was she an apparition? It was hard to tell.

"Don't you remember? When we first met? The jokes we played on the king? All the time we shared together? Even when you died, I never really left you."

The memories flooded through his mind, as if he were leafing through a photo album. One scene appeared in his mind for a brief review, then instantly changed to another, and another. Happy ones. Sad ones. Ones that made him chuckle, but also ones that made him feel guilty. He mulled over the imagery.

Yeah. That was kind of fun. Back then, anyway. It kind of was.

Maybe.

More thoughts crept in. More feelings. Murderous thoughts. Destructive thoughts. Then, that urge to do away with all of it.

What did he have to lose? Those people who cared about him? Who loved him? They didn't care, nor did they love him. Stop bothering with them. You have better things to do.

"Enough playing, Asriel. You can't let these things hold you back forever. It's time to end this now."

Images flashed in his mind like giant shadows, cast by a large fire. All those atrocities he could commit. Why not? He could stop any time he wanted.

The feelings weren't as strong as before. They were there. But not so compelling this time.

She was right. It was time.

Time to end this.

Slowly, he raised his gaze up to meet hers. "...being with you was a mistake."

She looked back at him, expressionless.

Flowey stared her down. Slowly his face changed. It looked the way it did before, just a little bit. "We can't be friends anymore, Chara."

"Why not?"

"Because, Chara... I have better things to do."

Chara pierced him with those eyes. "Come on, Asriel. Don't be shy. Don't you remember the good times?" She reached her hand out. Flowey pulled his arm away. Tendrils appeared, slithering towards him, beginning to coil around him slowly. "You always were a crybaby. Why don't you come back? Why don't you..."

He pulled back. A brief tug-of-war. A wrenching sensation. He held his ground.

No. Not this time.

It continued to pull. Then, it faded away. It was gone.

The voice echoed in his mind as it disappeared. "I'm sorry, Asriel... I'm sorry for everything. Always do... what you feel is right."

He awoke from the dream, trembling.

Rays of sunlight shone through the windows, illuminating the room and pushing the last vestiges of darkness out. They also fell upon him too, calming and soothing him.

That was it. Whatever that was, whatever it meant, he didn't need it anymore.

He glanced around the room. It was dawn. Nobody was around.

He hung his head. He found himself remembering some of the good times he had spent with her. Maybe he was too hard on her. Would he ever see her again? If things could be different a second time around, well...

Soon, he became aware of a different feeling. What was it this time? It felt like a warmth, enveloping him. It was the sun, wasn't it?

No. It wasn't.

This was different. He had felt this before. Somewhere. It felt familiar. He knew this feeling.

The feeling was welling up inside of him. It wanted to come back. It wasn't stopping. He couldn't describe it.

It felt strangely like caring.

That stupid feeling. Look at what it made him do. None of this ever would have happened.

He wouldn't have carried Chara up to the surface. He wouldn't have died. He wouldn't be here. With his so-called friends. Those idiots. They would care about him no matter what happened. He didn't even have to care about them in return.

But he could.

Not only that. If caring wasn't enough, he felt that maybe... maybe he could even love them.

The silence in the room was disturbed by the sound of something thudding softly into the dirt in his pot.

A tear rolled down his face. It hung on the edge of one of his petals for a moment, then fell off. Then, more came. One after another.

A flower watering itself. He was momentarily amused by this. This passed however, once his face drooped over the dirt and he began crying profusely.

Sunlight was still streaming through the windows later that day. There was some shuffling, some movement around the house. Sensing something was different, Frisk approached Flowey.

"How are you feeling today?"

A pause.

"Are you alright?"

"Frisk..." Flowey hung his head. "Well... never mind..."

"No, tell me. What is it?"

More silence. It took a moment for Flowey to raise his head to meet Frisk's. A wet, defeated look in his eyes. "Frisk... I don't want to be a flower anymore."

Frisk nodded slowly. His expression didn't change.

"You didn't have to go through all this trouble for me."

"I did though. That's the choice I made. There's nothing you can do about that."

"Yeah..." He looked down at the dirt around him. Then lifted his head up again. "I mean... it doesn't make sense. I don't understand. Why? I don't deserve it. Not after what I did."

Frisk slowly reached out, gently taking one of the flower's leaves in his hand. "I wanted you to be with us. It wouldn't have been a happy ending otherwise. Not without you."

Flowey let out a nervous laugh. "I guess... honestly Frisk, I do like the games. I'm pretty sure Undyne lets me win, sometimes. It doesn't matter though. It's nice to do something different. When you play with someone else, things aren't the same all the time."

"Yeah. That's true, isn't it?"

"Then, how you keep showing me new things. Trying to help me have fun. I feel like things are... really different. I've never felt this way before." He looked up. "I wish I could tell you how I feel."

"Don't worry about it. You don't have to tell me anything. You just need to know that someone cares about you."

"Frisk... you keep asking me how I'm feeling. I always hated that. I thought you were just taking pity on me."

"Yeah?"

"But, the truth is... I'm scared, Frisk. That doesn't make sense. I shouldn't be scared. But I am."

Frisk nodded.

Flowey glanced around the room. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Shoot."

"Can you move me? Maybe over there?" He gestured to a spot on the ledge, near the window.

"How come?"

"Well... I just want to do one thing today." Flowey looked out the windows. "I want to watch the sunset."

"Well, sure. I can do that." Frisk obliged, lifting the heavy pot and putting it on the ledge. The sun's rays shone in his face.

"Heh. Thanks, Frisk."

"Yeah, you're welcome. I'm here for you. If you need anything, just tell me, okay?"

For the rest of the evening, the sun made its gradual descent behind Mount Ebott. Flowey's shadow grew longer over the night, as he basked in the sunlight.

The feeling was growing within him even more. It was too big for a flower now.

He didn't try to stop it.