CHAPTER 3

Flashback

"MR KENNEDY WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" Captain Pellew bellowed at the top of his voice as the young Leftennant came bursting through the door into his cabin. His cheeks were flushed with exertion and his breath was coming out in long raspy gulps as he fought to fill them with air and regain his composure. He was finding that the weakness of his stomach was by now making him feel quite unwell, and in the time it had taken him to reach the Captain's cabin a hard lump had formed in his throat making it difficult for him to get his words out.

"Mr Mathews said it should be me who fetched you sir… I'm afraid there's little time to explain!"

"Explain what man?" The Captain's tone softened slightly once he'd had chance to get over the initial shock of having his cabin invaded so abruptly – but he still spoke with a sternness that would have made Archie want to tread very carefully, had it not been for the question of whether Horatio was still fighting for his life, or whether he was even still alive.

"I'm afraid its Lefttennant Hornblower sir." Archie explained, feeling as though he was going to choke on the lump in his throat. Captain Pellew suddenly went silent. Most of the crew had already guessed at the great sentiment their Captain felt towards the young officer – from the first moment he had met the then seventeen year old Hornblower he had seen something rare in him and had vowed to nurture the young man in the very best way he could. "I'm afraid he's been shot sir."

"What's his condition?" Pellew asked, expecting the response to be that one of his best officers – and the man he had grown to look upon as he may his own son – was amongst the fallen.

"I don't know sir… he was still fighting true to form when I left him." Archie explained. "…but I greatly fear for him."

At this Pellew snatched at his only recently removed coat and bade Archie follow him back the way he had just come. His pace was so fast that Archie found himself having to jog to keep up with him – battle and grief having already left him bereft of energy. Not a word was exchanged between the two men – each was too locked in their own thoughts to pay very much regard to the other. Captain Pellew paused as he reached the deck, he sunk his head in despair and closed his eyes to the scene of devastation that was evident all about him. It had started to rain and cold wet droplets soaked the dead and alive alike, washing away the blood into the sea.

"He's over here sir." Archie said leading the way, and the Captain followed. Some of the crew, upon Matthew's orders, had already dispersed from around Hornblower's body and were busy tending to the dead and the not so seriously wounded. When Pellew first came into view of the small group of men he noticed Styles and Mathews leaning beside Horatio's limp frame – Mathews' ear pressed close to the young officers mouth as he spoke weakly – and he decided to stand on the side line for a while whist he assessed the man's injuries and weighed up what was to be done. Archie knelt down next to Styles who, noticing the Captain's presence, gave him a respectfully grave look.

"You did well today sir." Mathews reassured Horatio.

"I only did my duty Mathews, as did we all." Horatio spoke before turning slowly to Styles, "You saved my life Styles," he forced the words from between clenched teeth and lips pursed with pain, and winced. "… Though I fear it was for nothing."

"Don't be an idiot Horatio." Archie said when Styles found himself unable to respond. "You've come through worse than this."

"Though nothing quite so painful Archie." Horatio pointed out with a weak cough, forcing a smile. "I'm just so tired now."

"You mustn't go to sleep sir." Mathews urged him, adjusting the young officer's position somewhat in a bid to make him a little less comfortable – although it was all in vein, Horatio's head and neck went limp in the ageing seaman's arms and he let out a long flow of gentle breath.

"Sir? … Sir?" Mathews tried to rouse him.

"Horatio?" Archie spoke, trying to remain calm, but feeling fear rising from the pit of his stomach. The sound was somewhat reminiscent of the feared death rattle – all too commonly associated with war.

At this Pellew stepped forward – he had allowed his presence to go unnoticed for quite long enough. "Mr Hornblower! Mr Hornblower!" He called.

"He still has a pulse sir." Mathews pointed out as he pressed his fingers to Horatio's neck. "It's weak but it's there." He gave the Captain a small, relieved smile.

"Right," Pellew immediately sprang into action, "Get him down to the sick berth… you men there fetch the surgeon!" He ordered a couple of younger officers, their faces paled by fear and fatigue.

"Aye aye sir."

As Styles and Kennedy lifted Horatio's weak form he immediately thrashed out in what appeared to be a sudden burst of pain, bringing him back to a state of forced and uneasy consciousness. He instinctively reached out to grasp the arm of the man closest to him, squeezing it like a vice – as though to let go would be to resign himself to an eternal sleep.

"Who's that?" He asked weakly of the men as he felt the dry and calloused texture of flesh and bone between his fingers.

"Mathews sir." His friend spoke in a shaky tone, trying to conceal the almost unbearable combination of fear and grief which was eating him up insode. "We're all behind ya sir."

"Where's the Captain?" Hornblower ventured to ask. Nobody replied at first – all turned questioningly towards their Captain, unsure of whether or not he would prefer his presence to remain undeclared.

"I'm here Mr Hornblower." Pellew's voice was as controlled as he could manage under the circumstances – but was somewhat hushed and still trembled slightly, betraying his grief.

"Sir?" Horatio croaked, forcing his eyes open at the sound of his voice, only to recoil again as the harsh light of the evening sky above pierced his ocular nerves.

"You did a good job tonight Mr Hornblower." Pellew cleared his throat, reassuring the young officer of his conduct. "I'm proud of you."

"It's been an honour to serve with you sir." Hornblower grimaced as further pain gripped his abdomen.

"Oh don't be ridiculous man!" Pellew dismissed this somewhat harshly, giving the Lefttennant a sidelong glance of concern. "I'm not letting you give up that easily!"

Horatio was made to smile at this, letting out an agonised groan. "I don't know how much longer I can take this sir." He admitted.

"You'll be just fine sir." Styles encouraged. "You're not through by a long shot yet." The small group of men had, by now, begun to move Hornblower steadily to the sick berth, but he'd seemed totally oblivious until they'd laid him down in the cot which had hastily been set up for him. Doctor Hepplewhite was already waiting with a small vile of opiate to hand and everybody but Pellew – who was above submitting to the same orders as his crew – and Archie – who simply refused to leave his friend's side – was hastily ushered from the room, unsure if they would ever see the young officer alive again.

Getting to work immediately Hepplewhite tried to dish out the required dosage of the sleeping drug to his young patient, who pulled away quickly as the glass rim of the bottle was pressed to his lips – however he did not appear entirely conscious of his actions.

"Come on Horatio." Archie pleaded with him, to no response. "It'll make you feel better."

After a long pause for consideration Pellew spoke up. "Let me do that." He said pointing towards the half empty bottle of opiate in the surgeon's hand.

"Are you sure sir?" Hepplewhite asked dubiously.

"Yes." Came Pellew's curt reply.

"Very well sir." He replied, handing him the small vile of brown, milky liquid. "I'll leave you to it for a moment." He said leaving Pellew and Archie alone in the room with Horatio.

Pellew said nothing, he continued to watch an unconscious Horatio – feverish with the pain now – as though he were one of his own, all the worry of a grief stricken father visible in every line and withered crease of his face. He looked almost peaceful compared to how he had appeared up on deck, it seemed cruel to wake him and make him suffer through the pain again… but their efforts must be focused on saving his life now.

"I'm sure he would forgive you sir, if he knew it was for his own good." Archie said, guessing what was troubling his captain – and with that Pellew shook Horatio awake.

Later Captain Pellew was seen leaving Horatio's room a broken man. As soon as Hepplewhite had lifted Horatio's shirt to reveal the bloody wound beneath both Pellew and Archie had drawn back. They had not expected it to be pleasant, but to see the severity of the wound had still been a shock. The doctor had insisted that the bullet must be removed otherwise the fever would take Horatio before the night was out, but both parties knew that the surgery alone was enough to kill the young officer in the condition he was in. A difficult decision had to be made, Pellew had seen such wounds sustained by his men in battle before but none of them had survived very long after the fever had developed – and yet never had he seen a single man come through this particularly invasive surgery before. He felt as though he was fighting a losing battle with death approaching from both sides. Eventually however he had made his decision.

"Mr Kennedy… I think it's time we said goodbye now." He said gravely.

"Sir?" Archie asked.

"I have had to make an impossible decision Mr Kennedy…" He explained. "I agree with the doctor that Mr Hornblower cannot continue with such a fever… and yet I will not deny that the surgery is almost certainly a death sentence in itself."

He then turned to Doctor Hepplewhite. "I consent to the surgery sir… although I accept that if he comes through it well it will be nothing short of a miracle… just… just do all you can for him." He added, before turning back to look at Hornblower laid out in the cot before him – now only semi-conscious.

"Mr Hornblower," He faltered, bending down so that his mouth was nearer the young man's ear, and his voice shaking as he spoke softly into it, "it has been an honour to serve with you." He told him.

He then rose stiffly, and gave his young Lefttennant a respectful salute – a gesture Hornblower sadly remained oblivious to. Then with a final glance in Horatio's direction he had left – a shadow of the man he had been when he'd woken that morning – leaving Archie too to say his final farewell…