Chapter Ten
For Castle, the fifty-eight hours between hopping on the subway after the baseball game Tuesday night and waking up Friday morning passed in the blink of an eye. How had they arrived at Kate's last weekday in Manhattan—her last weekday in America!—so quickly? He needed more time! Worse yet, he had not seen Kate during any of that time; they had only exchanged sporadic text messages.
Though Castle was more than willing to spend every waking hour with Kate if that became necessary to win her over from William, he could not blame her for being otherwise occupied. She was, after all, trying to plan a wedding in a different country. Plus, she was spending time with her father, her other family members, and her friends. As much as he wanted to completely monopolize her time, he could not be mad at her when she turned down his dinner invitation to go and share a meal with her aunt and cousin, who were unable to make the trip abroad for the ceremony.
But Friday—Friday was Castle's day. At least, he intended for it to be his day. They were meeting up for his maid of honor clothing fitting at ten (mercifully, he was wearing a formal suit instead of the dress Kate jokingly suggested) and Castle had every intention of suggesting Ruby's for lunch. Though it wasn't the same as going on Sunday for brunch, Ruby's did allow ordering from their breakfast menu all day, so they could make it brunch if they so choose. (Castle, however, could now allow himself to dwell on the concept that their meal at Ruby's could be their last for a long while; that notion was too sad to bear.)
Friday morning after picking up coffees for himself and Kate and (somewhat begrudgingly) a tea for William, Castle met the couple in front of the tailor where he would be purchasing the morning dress he needed to attend Kate and William's formal wedding. Being a well-educated, worldly man, Castle had seen many pictures from weddings across the pond in which men wore morning dress, but he didn't realize that virtually all weddings in England used them as tradition—not just royal ones. Castle owned many suits and two tuxedos but as his closet was void of morning coats, vests and striped pants off to the tailor they went.
"Wow Castle," Kate said when she first saw him dressed in his new pants and coat. Though they were still too large, they fit well enough for her to get a good view of him. "That's certainly…different."
Castle scrunched his forehead as he reached down with his left hand and pulled out one of the tails. "I feel like I'm going to get these caught on things."
"You won't." William assured him. "You'll just need to be careful when you sit down."
A few minutes later, after the tailor had finished with part of the jacket, Castle turned so he could finish the rest. In doing so, he spotted Kate looking at him with a bemused expression, though she tried to hide it with her coffee cup conveniently placed in front of her lips. "What?" he asked her. "Too weird?"
She shook her head. "No, just different. Very…formal."
He arched an eyebrow at her. "Are you implying that I normally dress informally?"
"Oh I'm not implying; I know you do." He gasped dramatically and she rolled her eyes. "Please, Castle. When was the last time you didn't write in your pjs. Or, worse! Your underwear?"
Castle opened his mouth to protest, but then shut it again; she had him pretty well pegged as the last time he'd opened his laptop he had, indeed, been in his boxers and t-shirt, which were both his underwear and his pajamas. "Okay, well what if I wear this over my underwear—I could start a new fashion trend."
While Kate let out a breathy laugh and shook her head, William's brow wrinkled; he clearly had not understood the joke. Castle didn't care about that one bit; all that mattered to him was that he had made Kate laugh. True, it was not a full-bellied laugh, but a laugh was a laugh, and that was certainly more than he'd seen from William in their brief time together.
An hour later, Castle was done with his fitting. As he had paid for express service, his jacket and pants would be ready on Monday, just in time for them to be picked up and carried with him to London. Though Kate expressed doubts as to whether or not the garments would be completed on time Castle assured her that everything would be fine; there was nothing to worry about.
Out on the sidewalk Castle proposed his idea for lunch at Ruby's. He was so eager to spend more time with Kate he didn't even care if William joined them. (Well, he cared but time with William and Kate was better than time with neither, so he compromised.)
"I'm sorry, Castle," she told him. "I have to go to my final dress fitting."
"Right, which is my cue to leave," William said. Then, after kissing Kate's cheek, he shook Castle's hand and walked out to the street to hail a cab back to Kate's apartment.
"Are you going by yourself?" Castle asked.
Kate shrugged. "Sure, why not? Lanie and Jenny were with me when I picked the dress; they don't need to come back. My dad offered to come, but I know he just did that because he feels guilty my mom isn't here, but there's no reason he needs to suffer."
"I'll come with you."
Kate laughed at her silly but sweet maid of honor. "That's very kind of you Castle, but did you hear the part about suffering? No need for you to be subjected to that."
"I don't mind." He offered her a smile that was genuine. Truly, he didn't. Okay, so perhaps this was not his ideal way of spending the rest of Friday, but hanging out with Kate and not Kate-and-William? He'd take it any way it came!
"Castle! I'm going to be trying on wedding dresses!"
Though her tone was clearly meant to discourage, it did not affect his decision in the slightest. "Not technically. Technically you've already picked the dress and you're just trying it on again to make sure it fits. I'll be fine; I promise."
After staring him down for another minute, Kate shrugged, giving up, and then lead the way towards the closest subway station.
Though Castle would not traditionally have had a large interest in wedding dresses, he did have an interest in Kate. Thus, when she told him the "saga" (her term) of her wedding dress the afternoon after her bizarre bachelorette party he had listened and retained a reasonable amount of knowledge.
Since Kate needed her wedding dress so quickly, she needed to purchase one that was readily available in the store. Most wedding dresses, she informed him, needed to be ordered several months in advance, but clearly she did not have the luxury. This was alright, though, because many of the available dresses were discounted, which pleased her already limited budget.
The day before her bachelorette party, she and her two girlfriends had gone on a pilgrimage to several bridal boutiques in the city before they'd found a suitable gown. Upon hearing her tight timeframe, many of the sales clerks laughed at her before dismissing her towards their meager selection. Kate did not have to find a dress that fit her perfectly, as it could be altered, but she had to get as close as she possibly could because there was not much time for the alterations to be done.
Ultimately, she was lucky enough to find a very elegant and expensive dress that a bride had ordered and put a fifty percent deposit on. When the bride canceled her wedding, she never picked up the dress. Thus, her bad luck turned into a blessing for Kate. While not a style she would have chosen on her own, Kate decided it was the best of all the options. Plus, it did fit her quite well; the waist and hips were nearly perfect though the bust did need to be taken in significantly.
"Oh, is this the groom? I hope not!" the bubbly seamstress said when Kate and Castle stepped into the alterations section of the bridal salon.
"No he's the maid of honor." Kate informed the woman. Naturally thinking Kate was joking, the seamstress laughed, but Castle corrected her.
"Actually she's serious; I'm the maid of honor. Technically: the best friend."
"Oh well…okay!" she said, throwing up her hands. Then, she pulled Kate's purse from her grasp, handed it to Castle, and then disappeared with the bride-to-be behind the nearest curtain.
His brow wrinkled, Castle looked around the immediate area, unsure of what to do for a few moments, but then ultimately decided to sit on a chair against the wall a few feet away. He placed Kate's purse on the floor just beside his right foot and pulled his cell phone out of his pocket for entertainment while he waited.
After answering a few emails and checking Twitter for any interesting posts, Castle was unsure of how much time had passed until he heard the squeak of metal-on-metal signaling the curtain Kate disappeared behind had now opened. Castle looked up and, in his shock, jerked his hands, causing his phone to fly loose. He fumbled with it frantically before finally letting it slip through his fingertip, where it landed on the floor with a "thunk." Castle took little notice of this; he was mesmerized by the creature before him.
Made of off-white satin, Kate's strapless gown had beaded floral accents across the bodice and down to the drop-waist where it flowed into a long skirt with a small train. Across her shoulders and down her arms almost to the elbow, was a lace shawl adored with floral accents that matched the dress. She wore no makeup and her hair was pulled into a messy knot at the crown of her head but neither of those things detracted from her beauty in Castle's opinion; she was stunning.
"Castle?"
"I, uh, I." He stammered as he scooped his phone up from the floor. "You're…wow. Gorgeous."
She pursed her lips as she examined her reflection in the mirror. She rolled her shoulders and rotated twenty degrees to the right, then back to the center. She brought her hands up to cup her breasts overtop the dress. Her hands clasping loose fabric, she said to the seamstress, "I think it's still a little big here."
The seamstress nodded and set to work taking in the bust. Using her reflection in the mirror, Kate looked back at Castle. "Honestly, the girl that ordered this must have had huge breast implants; that's the only explanation!"
"Right." Castle laughed breathily, though truthfully he hadn't heard what she said; he was still amazed by how she looked in a wedding dress. A wedding dress!
Dear god—Kate was getting married! Married!
Castle understood the concept of being engaged, but as he had been so focused on ending the engagement before it actually reached the wedding, he failed to fully process all the details that weddings usually included. Flowers, bands, tuxedos: this all made sense to him, but sitting there in the fitting room of Dream Brides it hit him like a bouquet of flowers to the face.
Kate was getting married and… it wasn't to him!
Christ, how had he been so blind!
His chest began to heave and his hands felt clammy and he was convinced he would have a full scale panic attack right then and there. Fortunately, Kate was too distracted with the woman affixing straight pins to her chest to notice her friend's pallid expression.
In that moment it hit him and Castle had no idea why he hadn't seen it before. This wasn't just about breaking up her engagement to William so that he could date Kate. This was about breaking up Kate's wedding so he could be with Kate—be with her for the long term. Be with her and eventually marry her.
Castle had never seen it more clearly than in that exact moment. He wanted—no, needed—her to be with him. He wanted that moment where he stood in front of an altar and looked back a long row of seats to see her approaching, a vision in white, knowing that from that moment forward they would live their lives together, never to be separated.
"Castle?"
Kate's voice startled him and he stammered out a few incoherent syllables. Only then did she notice her friend looking a bit ill. She asked if he was alright, but he assured her he was fine. "Okay, well, I just wanted to know what you thought of this," she said, gesturing towards her sleeves.
"What? Ah, it looks…fine. Nice. I…why?"
"That's one of the reasons why I picked this dress," she explained. "I have to have my shoulders covered for the wedding and most of the dresses available are strapless or, at most, have thin straps, but that's not enough. I just…I don't love the lace." With a wrinkled brow, she turned back to the mirror, obviously displeased.
Castle stood from his seat and stepped up behind her. "You look beautiful, Kate. Absolutely stunning. The man you marry will be speechless," he said, purposely avoiding using the groom's name.
She gave him a satisfied smile. "Thanks Castle."
Just then, the seamstress returned and assured Kate the alterations could be done—but not before Tuesday.
"Tuesday!" she squeaked, wringing her hands together. "But I leave Sunday!"
"But I leave Tuesday," Castle said simply. He turned to the seamstress. "Can it be ready before noon?" When she nodded, he turned back to the bride. "See, its fine. I'll just pick it up before I leave."
Kate stepped forward and gripped Castle's arm with surprising strength. "Castle, oh my god, are you sure? Because I don't…I…I'm not sure if-"
"Kate," he began in a smooth, calming tone. "Don't worry. I promise you that your dress will make it safe and sound to England. I am the maid of honor, right?"
She laughed with relief and flung her arms around his neck. "You are the best maid of honor in the world."
He laughed as he hugged her back, ignoring as best he could the warm feel of her breath against his neck. "I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed of that."
Fifteen minutes later, Kate was back in her regular clothing as she and Castle walked back out onto the streets of New York where he invited her to lunch for a second time. Once again, she turned him down.
"I'm sorry Castle, really. I'd love to have one last Ruby's brunch with you, but I'm really swamped."
Though it pained his heart, he forced a smile across his face. "I understand. Totally."
She thanked him and patted his arm gently. Before they separated, he could not stop from asking, "Are you happy, Kate?"
She let out an unexpectedly loud laugh. "I'm…losing my mind, completely overwhelmed, stressed out, going on little sleep, and about to leave the country for an undetermined amount of time."
"Yeah, but I mean are you happy with William? You love him, right?" He had to know. He had to hear her say it.
If she professed her undying love for her fiancé would it deter him in his quest to end their engagement? Not at all. He still wanted her to be with him, but the masochistic side of him wanted to know what he was up against.
"I…" Her voice drifted off as she gazed distantly off into the street. After several moments she turned back to him and said, "I'll be happy once we're married and on our honeymoon. Until then, I'm just trying to survive without becoming bridezilla."
"Right, sure. We wouldn't want that." He teased. She then gave him a quick peck on the cheek before hurrying to the nearest intersection where she could cross. As he watched her go, Castle thought about the fact that she hadn't said that she loved William. Without that official confirmation he had to believe there was still a chance for them; there was still hope.