CHAPTER 6

When Captain Pellew paid Horatio an unexpected visit a few days after he received news that the Lefttennant had at last regained consciousness he was relieved, if not a little surprised, to see the young officer awake – half sitting up, half still lying in bed, reading. Hornblower's eyes were bright with an eagerness which was all too familiar to the Captain as he hungrily devoured each line of the text before him, and Pellew's heart lifted with relief as the young man turned to look at him – although he observed that, still dangerously thin and deathly pale, his expression still bore every indication of the trial he had been through. Those same eager eyes were sunken and tired.

"Captain Pellew Sir!" Horatio's voice was hoarse from its lack of recent use as he released his fragile grip on the heavy book, letting it slip from between his bony fingers with surprise – it landed with a loud thud on the floor. Horatio winced, clearly pained, as the harsh sound did little to help the throbbing in his head.

"At your ease man." Pellew reassured the young man with a casual wave of his hand as he bent down to retrieve the heavy encyclopaedia from the dusty floor. "Believe it or not this is a social visit." He smiled as he handed the fallen edition back to Hornblower who accepted it gratefully before carefully marking his page – once he'd successfully located it again – and reached around stiffly to put it back on the bedside table.

"Pardon me if I don't stand to attention sir." He looked up smiling – a gesture which seemed somewhat forced and haunted to the Captain. "I'm afraid I have rather had to abandon such formalities of late."

"Yes well…" Pellew cleared his throat, acknowledging his Lefttennant with a brief nod of his head as he quickly regressed back to his customarily closed disposition. "I would like to say how much better you are looking today."

"Thank you sir." Horatio nodded.

"Are you feeling better?" Captain Pellew continued, a little awkwardly.

"Very much so sir."

The conversation was brusque in its untimeliness, although both men shared a mutual understanding and respect for each other that allowed them to say, and understand, far more than could be expressed through words. Pellew took a long hard look around the darkened room and sighed – he wondered how the young man could have seen to read anything in this light. Although he had admittedly spent much time surrounded by these four oppressive walls during the past few weeks it was only now that the dismal melancholy of the room dawned on him. His thoughts turned to the comparative comfort of the military hospital, but Hornblower had been initially too weak for them to even consider moving him once they had docked, and he realised that these barely adequate lodgings had served as his only chance of survival only a couple of weeks before.

"Where's Mr Kennedy?" The older man asked the younger.

"I finally persuaded him to take a break from my bedside." Horatio smiled faintly, apparently lost in his own world of reflection. "He's down at the docks… sir are you sure this is just a social visit?" He asked, snapping out of his contemplation abruptly and turning to look at Pellew, a knowing spark in his eyes. The suddenness of his question caught the Captain a little off guard – evidently even in his significantly weakened state nothing escaped the notice of Mr Hornblower – his instincts were sharper than any man equal to him in age that Pellew had encountered before.

The Captain gazed at the young man in front of him – the keen expression which naturally lit up his eager face, his cheeks still pink with slight fever, his mouth set. His eyes betrayed a slight sense of self satisfaction at his own perceptiveness, and Pellew sighed.

"Nothing gets past you does it Mr Horblower?" He asked with a slight smile.

"I would consider myself a rather poor officer if it did sir." Horatio replied, waiting for his Captain's response.

"I have received orders," Pellew explained, "to make sail for Gibraltar in a few day's time… it appears that the board at the admiralty are rather under the impression that we have been at port quite long enough, they are impatient for the Indefatigable and her crew to return to the war as soon as possible."

The two men stared at each other in uncomfortable contemplation, both painfully aware of what this would mean for the recovering Horatio – whom, still too weak to return to work, would in all likelihood would be required to remain behind. The news struck devastating blow, although he tried not to show it.

"How many days?" He asked, swallowing hard.

"We set sail Friday." Pellew's response was apprehensive – baring every indication of a man torn – unsure of how to possibly resolve such a complex situation. It was quite clear that the thought of being left behind whilst his ship and her crew returned to the war broke the young man's heart, and Captain Pellew didn't particularly want to have to abandon one of his best men either, especially one so dear to his heart.

"Tell me Mr Hornblower," he asked at last, "how do you feel about the possibility of being left behind to continue your recuperation here on land?"

"Well I can't say that I'm happy about it sir." The young officer sighed – regretful but determined to retain a stiff upper lip despite the circumstances. "I'm well aware that it could be months before I am able to rejoin the service, I already miss the sea more than I ever thought possible… I don't think I could bare it." He confessed.

"Yes well," Pellew scratched the back of his neck thoughtfully, "That's understandable."

"It's all just so frustrating!" He noticed as Horatio tried to disguise his hands beneath his bed-sheets as his fists clenched tightly, and he struggled to hide his irritation.

"Come Mr Hornblower, you've come through much worse before," The Captain did his best to reassure the young man, "and no doubt there will be worse to come which you will also overcome."

"If only I wasn't so weak!" Horatio groaned through tightly gritted teeth as he forced himself higher up in the bed, grimacing and exhausted as he gripped at his still healing stomach, his breath coming in short, shallow rasps. "And the pain." He gulped.

"Shhhhh," Pellew let out a soft breath as he attempted to comfort the young man – concerned by his uncharacteristic outburst. He was evidently being eaten up by the restlessness and fear felt by a true seaman - one who had already been away from his ship for far too long. "Mr Hornblower, just how much time do you think you need?" He asked.

"I'm not sure I follow you sir." Horatio frowned.

"Sometimes in order to heal the body, we must first focus on healing the soul." The Captain muttered almost as though to himself, before turning more purposefully back to face the young officer. "There may be something I can do." He said.

And so it was that they spent the rest of the afternoon engaged in idle conversation. Nothing more was mentioned about the ships departure in a few day's time, and Hornblower didn't press his Captain about what had really been meant when he'd spoken in terms of the 'body' and 'soul' and what it was he thought he might be able to do.

When Archie returned a few hours later Captain Pellew left – but it was having given Horatio renewed hope that he would one day soon be walking the decks of the Indefatigable again, and he was made to smile at his Captain's loyalty – if not left feeling a little bewildered by his secretiveness.