Thank you to 69reggae who pointed out that Eileen wasn't very present for Claudia when she freaked out. That was changed, too.
And to ART for always supporting me - and reminding me to get back up when I fall down.
I hope this works ...
i carry your heart with me (e.e. cummings)
Helena and Myka arrived at work, grateful that the chaos of the morning had subsided. Irene had taken one look at Claudia working in the library on the staff member who was in suspended animation and knew what she had to do. She texted her own administrative assistant, Sandy, and asked her to sit at Sui's desk. Helena couldn't handle an empty space after the morning she had.
"Is he going to be okay?" Pete asked, the guilt catching up with him after the two women got in the car.
"He's going to be better than ever," Helena assured him. She had discussed with Claudia what needed to be done to revive the android.
Pete felt bad for starting all of this, but he would have felt a lot worse if Helena had been upset with him. Myka grinned as she watched the concern wash from Pete's face. It really mattered to Pete – and to all of their friends – what Helena thought.
While Helena sat in the back of the car, busying herself with looking over papers and emails, Myka sat there doing one of her favorite things to do – staring at Helena. When Helena's hair fell down in her face, Myka reached over and gently pushed it back over her shoulder. Helena warmly smiled at her and then continued to answer her email. Myka looked out the window at the grayish skies, but her hand continued to stroke Helena's hair.
Once in the elevator, Myka sidled up next to Helena and said - "It's amazing I can get any work done with you in the same building." Helena's eyes crinkled as she wondered momentarily - Was Myka trying to tell her she was leaning towards going to teach at Columbia?
Helena made one call when she got upstairs and the evening was set. Once they heard that the reservation was for Bering & Wells, the impossible-to-get table was free. The establishment was listed as one of the most romantic restaurants in Manhattan, but that wasn't why Helena chose it. When Myka asked her to pick the place, Helena knew what the criteria would be to determine the location. Simply put – how soon after dinner could they get home and be together. Helena didn't oppose Myka wanting to eat out somewhere special, she just didn't want to be out too late.
By six o'clock, Helena had considered that the reason Myka wanted to eat out was because she wanted to talk about the teaching offer. Was Myka going to tell her she was taking the offer to teach? Helena drew in a deep breath and let it out with the resolution: whatever Myka wanted was what she would go along with.
Daniel is on 65th Street near Park Avenue. Chef Daniel Boulud, a native of Lyon, France, won awards for his contemporary French cuisine and wines. The place was packed, as it was every night of the week. Right on time, a habit Helena developed only because of Myka, the fiancées arrived. Helena shimmered in her Kalinka patterned, metallic cocktail dress with an embellished beaded-neckline. Myka let Helena go in first because she liked to watch people look up at Helena. Myka followed a couple of steps behind, wearing her Carmen Marc Valvo black and crimson tapestry and floral jacquard cocktail dress with full skirt pleating.
Helena was so taken with Myka's dress when she first saw it. She told the fashion intern several times in awe, "She bought that at a store!" Helena was impressed by both Myka's taste and that such a fine dress existed in retail.
The outfits alone were enough to make head turns, but when the patrons saw who was wearing them, the whispers started. Myka wasn't exactly sure why, but she wanted Helena to be out with her tonight. Almost as if she were showing off – that Helena was hers. A 'You can look, but you can't touch,' kind of look crept over Myka's face as she observed others watching Helena. Once seated, Helena and Myka dined on an appetizer of Sunchoke Veloute - quail breast with black trumpet custard. In spite of eating the same dish, Helena insisted on spooning a bit off on her fork and feeding it to Myka.
Basking in the presence of this couple who seemed cocooned in their own world, a soft envy filled the eyes of other patrons as they sat with their own dates. What did Helena and Myka have that they didn't? - was the group's unspoken question.
Helena could have told them in one word – Myka. It wasn't just that she was happy with Myka, or thrilled to have found the love of her life. No, it was more than that. Helena felt whole, complete, as if Myka's presence filled every void there ever was inside her. Helena had been healed and renewed in the warmth of Myka's love.
Myka would have told them that what they saw was her adoration for the woman who drenched her in an exquisite love. Myka wanted to be the best she could be for Helena. Being wrapped in Helena's love was the warmest feeling Myka had ever known.
Myka dined on the specially prepared pan seared Black Sea Bass and Helena raved about the Quebec Suckling with crispy polenta. Both meals were served with the perfect wines that complimented their selections. The chef visited their table personally to make sure the dishes were to their likings.
"Do you know why I wanted to eat out tonight?" Myka asked after dinner as they sipped the last of their wines. Her hand was across the table and her fingers played with Helena's Rolex watch on her right wrist.
"You're tired of Leena's attempts at cooking?" Helena asked through thick eyelashes, mischievously.
Myka gently slapped Helena's hand playfully. "You better be careful. She's really very good. You love her chicken francese."
"I eat her dish. What I love is to watch you eat the spaghetti she makes with the chicken. I am just getting better at being polite," Helena clarified and made Myka laugh.
Helena loved the way Myka's head turned in her direction as she was opening her eyes – as if taking her in slowly. Helena's eyes locked onto Myka's lips and she ached to touch them, kiss them, right there.
"I wanted to be out tonight because I felt the need to let the world know you are mine," Myka confessed, sucking her lips in as if she said too much.
"You? Felt possessive of me?" Helena said, a little surprised her shoe was on Myka's foot. She dabbed her mouth with the fancy napkin and put it in her lap.
Myka sat back in the chair, her head down, but a huge smile on her face. "Can you believe it?" she laughed. "But it's true," Myka admitted and put her hands back across the table to touch Helena. "I wanted people to look at you tonight just so I could smile back at them and say – She's beautiful right? You wish you could be with her, don't you? You can't - she's all mine," the admission continued. "Helena, nothing makes me happier than to know that."
"That's a little aggressive for you, Counselor," Helena said coyly, liking the tone of Myka's message very much.
"I know, right? But it's the way I feel. I …just want you," Myka said, a twinkle in her eye.
Helena was so touched by Myka's declaration that her mouth fell open, but it was only to help her breathe as she stared at Myka's lips, then eyes. "I am yours, body, mind, and soul."
"I want your heart, too," Myka replied, because she wasn't just saying these words. Whatever was going on inside of her was pushing her to make sure there was no doubt in anyone's mind – all of Helena G. Wells was hers.
"You have had that from the moment I met you. Long before you gave me yours, I might add," Helena teased and pushed her foot between Myka's feet under the table.
"Yours was more open than mine. Mine was a little harder to get to," Myka said, clutching the captured foot gently.
"Ah, but I was persistent," Helena laughed, her eyes locked on Myka.
Myka looked over at the love of her life. In spite of the hours she spent studying Helena's features, her beauty never became routine. "I am forever in your debt that you were," Myka said, her thumb now grazing Helena's hand back and forth. Helena stared back, getting lost in eyes that reflected the light from the candle on the table. Silence filled the space between them.
Myka reflected back on Helena's words to Sui that morning – about sharing one's gifts with the world. Myka was a talented lawyer and she would be honored to share hers with the next generation of attorneys at Columbia.
Just not yet.
Suddenly, everything around them disappeared for Myka. It was as if her eyes could only see Helena, her ears could only hear that accented voice, and the only thing she felt was the touch of Helena's hand. Her whole body focused on the woman sitting across from her. It wasn't just Helena sitting there – it was clear to Myka now – everything she wanted and needed was sitting across from her.
"Marry me, Helena," Myka said, leaning across the table a little more.
Helena's face lit up at the sweet phrase. "I'm sorry, but I'm already betrothed to the most wonderful…."
"I'm serious, Helena. This weekend. Marry me this weekend," Myka said, the idea forming in her heart and escaping her lips before her head could catch up.
Helena stared, waiting for the rest of Myka's thoughts, but that was it. "What about your parents? Or…"
"I don't know. I haven't figured that out. What are we waiting for? I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I don't want logistics or wedding dress alterations to put it off."
Helena was surprised at Myka's spontaneous request, but the more she thought about it, the more she liked it. "Oh Myka, whatever you want," Helena agreed and squeezed Myka's hands. "Where is this all coming from?"
It was a simple question and Myka should have had the answer on the tip of her tongue. It took her a minute to put it together.
"Helena, for most of my life, everything I thought I wanted, someone told me it wasn't for me. It wasn't until I met you that my heart took over and made me go after what it knew was best for me. For the first time in my life, I have someone who always believes in what I can do. I have always wanted to teach, Helena. And when Professor Calvert offered me the job, I thought it was perfect timing. And it was. It made me realize it's the perfect time….. for us to get married," Myka said softly.
"Myka, we can do both. We can get married and you can teach. I want you to have everything you want," Helena said, her hands holding onto Myka's.
"I called Professor Calvert today and told him I appreciated his offer, but ….," Myka said and Helena interjected.
"No, Myka, you didn't turn him down, did you? We can do everything you need to make sure you can do both," Helena said, afraid Myka had ruined her chance. "You said you wanted to talk about this."
"We did. And you were wonderfully honest and supportive and gave me all the space I needed to decide. I told him I would consider it next fall, but that I had some things I needed to do first. Helena, I dreamt I went after that job and there was an emptiness that came with it. A bottomless pit inside the wonderful surroundings of being a teacher. I finally figured out what that was. It meant I have other things I want to do first, Helena. Other things I need to do to have a full life. Being married to you …and having children," Myka said, and then waited for Helena's response.
It was a lot to hear in the middle of a crowded restaurant, in spite of the semi seclusion of their table.
"Darling, you can teach part-time or ….Myka ...did you say- children?" Helena asked, finally hearing the words. As much as Helena wanted it, she only wanted it with Myka.
"Yes," Myka smiled and almost blushed. "I want …yours," Myka emphasized, having thought about it before, the words coming to her now. "I don't know if that's possible, so we can talk about our options. I just want them with you."
"Myka, I'm …..so happy you've thought about these things," Helena said. She leaned across the table and took Myka's right hand in both of hers. "Myka, we can have our own children. I've discovered a way to do it. I can make it happen," Helena said, enthusiastically.
Myka stared at Helena and smiled. Of course she had discovered a way. She was brilliant. She was always brilliant, and she was all Myka's.
"I love you Helena, I always have," Myka said, choking back tears.
"And I love you, Myka, and I have never loved you more than at this very moment in time," Helena said.
Myka couldn't wait anymore. She stood up slowly and went to Helena, leaned down and kissed her so hard that she had to hold Helena's head so she wouldn't knock her over.
The lovers never heard the restaurant erupt into applause until they both had caught their breaths and were on their way out the door.
Pete took a lot of teasing for things his friends thought he didn't pick up on, but that never applied to the subject of his two favorite bosses. He could tell immediately upon seeing them when they exited the restaurant that something was up. He watched as Myka threaded her arm through Helena's and held onto her just a little tighter it seemed. And the way she leaned into Helena in the car. One glance in the rear view mirror convinced him something was up – he had never seen either of them so happy, so content.
"You both look…," Pete said, as he helped them out of the car at the townhouse, "…especially happy tonight."
The women turned to face one another – as if to see what he meant in each others face – and there it was.
"You're absolutely right," Myka said to him.
"You are indeed, Mr. Lattimer," Helena said. They turned to their trusted friend and smiled and said good night.
That night, when dozens of patrons who took a picture of that kiss in the restaurant, uploaded the images onto Twitter, Facebook and Instagram, no one could explain the white light that encircled the couple and appeared in every single photo. Seeing the picture on the evening news that night, some experts explained the phenomenon as nothing more than chromatic aberration, but they were wrong.
Of that, Leena was certain.
Next up: Helena's favorite three words - can you guess what they are?