A/N: hello! this is the second chapter... it's a bit short, but three is longer.
Disclaimer: Nope, I still don't own The 100... sigh.
It has been Thirteen days since we arrived in Camp Jaha. Thirteen days since she left us to find whatever she lost, possibly to never return to us.
Almost immediately after we settled into our tents and were given new clothes, Chancellor Griffin announced that preparations for the coming winter were to begin immediately, stating that every able body was to help build cabins and savage as much of the Arc as possible.
The delinquents and I chose to begin building our cabins further from the main camp, because we are not accepted by them. We never will be. They seem to view us as criminals still.
I am trying my best to lead the guys. They look to me for the answers. I don't have all of the answers. I need someone who can give them the answers that I just can't conjure up. I need her. Our people need her.
I have been feeling her absence since her form disappeared from my view. It's like she took something from me. I want it back. This feeling inside of me is awful. No drink can satisfy my thirst. No food can sate my dismal amount of hunger. I feel like doing nothing but sleep.
When I am not working, I float aimlessly around camp, and sometimes find myself zoning out when people talk to me.
Octavia has been trying to cheer me up, but she can only do so much. She and Lincoln (who just stayed on at camp, no questions asked) have become the delinquent's chosen healers, only going to the medical tent when absolutely necessary.
I worry about them. All of those lives, in my hands. My blood soaked hands. I worry about Jasper more with the passing days. He hasn't spoken since we arrived. He barely eats. No one knows how much he sleeps. Even Monty isn't sure if he gets more than an hour or so at a time.
I am chopping more wood for the cabins. It gets colder and colder every day. I don't think we will finish on time. I lift the axe high, and swing it downwards with more force than before. A twig snaps behind me. I nearly jump out of my skin, pulling up the axe and preparing to lunge at whatever is coming.
I see that it is not a whatever but rather a whoever. Jasper throws his hands up as if to say he didn't mean to startle me.
"What's up Jasper? Do you need something?" I ask him, putting the axe into the stump I am using as workbench. He usually gestures what he wants and needs. He looks to the ground. I follow his gaze, and see the leaves that have started to fall off the trees. Then I hear it.
"We just left them." He states in a hoarse murmur. The air is thick. I know who he means. The mountain men. Our dead. The grounders dead. We didn't put any of them to rest.
"I am going back to bury them." He says, his voice stronger. There is a hidden question in his eyes. I nod.
"Of course I will come to help. Have you asked Monty to come?" He shakes his head to that.
" I think he'll come. In fact, I think we might have trouble turning people down." I say with a smile, putting my arm around his shoulders, and we walk back to the Delinquents' little village.
"No. We can't spare any of you. We need to prepare for winter." Abby says firmly, making herself as tall as she can.
"Abby... I think we should let them do this. It will help the survivors get peace... Some closure." Wow. Kane is actually defending us. I arch my brow, questioning him. He continues, putting his hand over hers.
"Jasper especially needs this. He hasn't said anything up until now and not burying the people who helped him and the others survive will haunt him even more." He says gently. Abby's shoulders soften slightly, and I know we have won.
"Alright. But I am not making any guards come along. This mission is solely a volunteer based one. And I will have the final say in how many can go. "She sighs in defeat.
We leave the next day. I can't help but search for any sign of her, any evidence that could lead to her. The same thoughts I have been hearing in my head for days have intensified. What if she's hurt? What if I never see her again? What if we find her body? The what ifs go on and on, making my chest clench in anxiety. I should have told her how I felt. Maybe she would have stayed with me.
The trek to the mountain is quiet. We are not the same group of kids that took this path to the woods all those weeks ago.
Jasper is leading the way, followed hesitantly by Monty. They slowly are getting into their old groove of friendship. I smile at that, they deserve their happiness. The others follow them, and I bring up the rear.
Having left at dawn, we arrive to the clearing before the entrance in the afternoon. I find Jasper on his knees on a pile of dirt, staring at a rock. Monty has a hand on his friends shoulder, looking at the same rock. There are more piles of dirt with rocks. I decide to walk up the small hill to see what this is.
They're graves. Fresh ones, from the looks of it. And they are all marked. They have first and last name on most of them. There are nearly a hundred of them. And over near the edge of this makeshift cemetery is another hole. Freshly dug.
We are not alone here. My protective instinct tells me that we need to figure out who is here; friend or foe.
After giving everyone some silent moments with the graves, I tell them that we are not alone here, and we need to find out who is in the mountain. Monty steps forward.
"Maybe they will accept our help? And we won't kill anyone else?" He asks, his eyes pleading. I nod to him and we go to the door. It is ajar. I go in at quietly as possible. The others are not so careful, practically stomping down the hall.