Chapter Sixteen

At four p.m. on Saturday afternoon, Richard Castle shuffled into his kitchen, opened the refrigerator and, upon finding it void of anything interesting, let out a heavy sigh. It had been an unbearably exhausting twenty-four hours and he wanted nothing more than to sleep, but he couldn't. Every time he tried to lie down and shut his eyes, his thoughts drifted towards Kate.

Kate—his best friend. Rather, his former best friend, as he was almost certain they would never speak again after what happened the previous night. At the very best it would be quite a while before they spoke. Maybe after she spent some time in Cairo and realized that she hated it, she'd think to call him and tell him he'd been correct in his predictions. Yeah—like that was going to happen.

With a heavy sigh, Castle shut the refrigerator door and walked instead to the pantry. He was sure he had a container of Oreos in there somewhere. Or perhaps something chocolate chip? As Kate was now a married woman for going on two hours, he was definitely in need of something chocolate. And, also, something alcoholic, but that would have to wait a little while; there was just something not right about cracking into hard liquor before five p.m. even if it did feel like nine to him.

Just as his fingertips were about to come in contact with the Oreo box, Castle heard the doorbell to his apartment ring. Grumbling, he turned and looked over his shoulder, as though he could use x-ray vision to see who was at his front door. As he was not Superman, he did not possess such abilities, but that was unfortunate; they would have been convenient at that particular moment. He was not expecting any guests and, quite frankly, was not in any mood for company.

He shut the pantry door and began shuffling through the kitchen towards the front hall. My god, why was walking so difficult? Oh, right, because he'd only had a few hours of fitful sleep the night before while trying to prop his six-foot-one frame in between two tiny chairs in the airport lounge. He'd had a another hour or so on the flight back, but most of his seven hour travel time was spent playing Monday morning quarterback with his plans from the prior three weeks.

What if he had just told her how he felt while they were still in New York? Would that have made a difference? If he said he loved her that night in the Hamptons when they were talking on the porch—would she have changed her mind then?

He would never know the answers to these questions; he'd simply have to find a way to live with the decisions he made. Part of him wanted to say that everything would be fine. He had dated plenty of women before realizing his feelings for Kate and he had been happy then. Thus, he would be happy again. The other part of him strongly disagreed with that, knowing that after loving Kate no woman would ever compare.

His thoughts still lost, he pulled open his door in a haze. His eyes barely registered the sight before him: a brunette woman with large hazel eyes, a stunning smile and, oddly, several bags of luggage. In fact, in his exhausted stupor, he only recognized her when she began to speak in an atypical frazzled and speedy manner.

"I'm so sorry, I really need to talk to you, but I really have to pee. The cab driver took the worst route back from the airport and—I'm sorry can I-?"

Castle stepped aside dumbly and let Kate into his apartment. "Yeah, yes of course…"

With a relieved smile, she sprinted past him and skidded into the nearby powder room. Castle stood for several moments in the entry way, the front door to his apartment hanging open, before he thought it might be a good idea to bring her luggage in from the hall lest it be in someone's way. He hauled in the large black canvas bag and its smaller twin and set them against the wall before shutting the door.

At that particular moment, Castle wasn't sure his brain was functioning at a high enough level to process what was happening. Kate was in his Manhattan apartment, not in the Fitzgerald country home in England. Kate was not, at present, in a honeymoon bed with her husband. Kate had a large amount of luggage. All these things jumbled together in his over-tired mind, but did not cohesively form together in any way.

A minute later, Kate stepped out of the bathroom, drying her hands on her jeans. With a sheepish expression, she looked at him. "Thanks. I, um, couldn't wait to see you so I just ran right off the plane and got into a cab."

"Oh…right…"

She took a step towards him. "I was trying to call you, but your phone was off. What…what time did you get back to New York? I mean, when did you leave London?"

"Not until this morning," he said, his voice a bit gravely. "I spent the night in the Virgin Atlantic lounge. I, ah, I couldn't be in the same house as…as…"

She nodded, guilty. "Right. Makes sense. I flew out this morning, too—guess we barely missed each other at the airport."

Castle nodded, his brain still struggling with reality. "What…what are you doing here?"

Kate, clearly the more alert of the two, stepped up beside him, her expression bright. "I came to apologize to you. What I said last night…I was stunned. And scared. And confused. And…a million different things but none of that gave me the right to be rude to you and I'm sorry for that."

The writer let her words process for a moment. "You flew three thousand miles to apologize to me?"

She laughed. "Well, that and to say that I hope that I didn't ruin our chance to be together. I hope it's not too late and that you'll reconsider especially since I kind of left William at the altar for you."

At the first mention of marriage, Castle began significantly more alert. "At-at the altar...you didn't…"

Kate held up her ring-free left hand. "No. And I guess technically I did not leave him at the altar. I told him last night—right after I found out you'd left for the airport."

Oh. Well. That was…interesting. And unexpected, very unexpected. Castle shook his head gently and took two steps away from her. "I…I thought you didn't want me."

Her heart swelling in her chest, Kate stepped up beside him, lifted her right arm and brushed her thumb over his cheek. "Oh Castle, no. The exact opposite, in fact. I was mad at you...but really I was mad at myself because I'd been waiting to hear you say those things for nearly a decade."

His eyes grew wide. "A decade? Since we met?" When she nodded his jaw dropped and he merely gaped at her for thirty seconds before proclaiming, "I…I had no idea."

"I know you didn't and that's why I was kind of mad at you and me."

Kate walked over to the nearby leather couch and sat down, resting her hands on her knees, preparing herself for her next confession. She didn't want to tell him—she really didn't. It felt silly and school girlish, but he deserved to know the truth; he deserved the full story. When he sat beside her, she glanced at him tentatively and saw his intent focus.

"For seven years I knew that if you ever showed any interest in me I would drop everything and go running to you because I was crazy, stupid in love with you. But then...on the flight to London I finally realized how tragic and pathetic I was being. If you didn't feel that way about me by then, you were never going to and I needed to move on."

Being hopelessly in love with her best friend was certainly not something Kate planned on. It just…happened. One night on their way home from a Mets game they stopped for some late night food, started laughing together and it just hit her like surfacing after a lengthy underwater swim. She loved him but he…well, he wasn't exactly in a place for a relationship. She didn't mind, though; they were friends and that was good enough—for the time being.

Sure, she dated, but every time he invited her to a book release party or to his mother's Christmas bash she secretly hoped that would be the night. That night would be the night Richard Castle kissed her and told her he'd never let her go. But…after years and years of waiting, it never happened.

Martha and Chet's wedding was a reminder to her that she too wanted to get married and have a family one day so she decided to use her semester in London as a reset button. No longer would she wait around just in case Castle changed his mind about her. She would move on and find a man who reciprocated her feelings. That was, after all, what she deserved. Though, as with everything, things had not exactly turned out as she planned.

"Of course, I didn't intend on finding William my third day in the UK, but I did and I thought...okay, this is me moving on. In hindsight I guess I was a little overzealous and stubborn about it."

"What else is new?"

She laughed and tucked her hair behind her ears, slightly embarrassed. "You were right, though; marrying him would have been a huge mistake...and I would have hated Cairo."

Castle leaned back against the couch processing the information he had just received. It certainly was a lot. The knowledge that Kate not only was open to the idea of dating him, but already loved him as well was wonderful if not completely shocking. On top of that, to find out she'd felt that way for years well, he didn't know what to make of that. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"About loving you?" she asked; he nodded. "Because I figured you'd blow me off—you weren't exactly into serious relationships post The Gina Debacle."

Oh right. That. The timing made sense, too. The nuclear fallout from his breakup with Gina would have happened approximately seven years earlier. Kate probably didn't want to be the rebound girl and then he moved right into his playboy phase so…yeah, that made sense.

Looking over to his friend, Castle's brow wrinkled. "You didn't get married?" he asked, merely to confirm he hadn't been dreaming the previous ten minutes.

She smiled at him. "No."

"Wow. Hell of a weekend."

"Hell of a weekend," she echoed. They sat for several moments in silence before Kate turned to face her companion, picking nervously at the seam on her jeans. "So...are you going to kiss me or not?"

Castle sat up a bit straighter and almost laughed. When adding his shock on top of exhaustion he hadn't even thought about kissing her—how rude of him! (Also, a testament to just how exhausted his brain was.) "Oh god sorry. Yes...I—sorry. I was just kind of amazed because twenty minutes ago I kind of half expected to never see you again."

"Well," she said, leaning her body into his. "I'm right here."

"Yes," he sighed, leaning closer, "yes you are." With that, he closed his lips over her giving her a real, non-forced kiss for the very first time. Kate sunk her face into his and he felt her hand close around his forearm.

"Oh damn," he sighed out, not even realizing he'd spoken his thoughts aloud until he heard her chuckle softly. Unable to get enough of the luxurious feeling of her lips against his, Castle leaned in for another long kiss. When he pulled back, he felt as though his brain had even less functionality, but one shocking thought still managed to sneak through. "Seven years? Really? Seven years?"

"Why is that so hard to believe?"

"Because!" He stood from the couch from the force of his point. "Seven years! I mean, you didn't even show the slightest... there were definitely times I thought you couldn't stand me."

Kate stood and followed him into the hall. "Uh, because I couldn't. You can kind of be a jackass."

"Hey!"

She smirked. "Well you can." Then, softening her expression, she stepped up beside him. "But you can also be sweet and kind and wonderful. Like when you dedicate one of your books to me…and when you helped my father get into rehab because you saw how much he was hurting me."

Castle's eyes widened. "How long have you-"

She shook her head. "He just told me last night."

Castle swallowed hard. "Is that why you're here?"

"Yes. No. Learning that was the nudge I needed to let myself see all the beautiful, wonderful reasons you're in my life. All the reasons that would make me absolutely miserable if you went away. Like how you can make me laugh harder than anyone else. And how you have this sixth sense and always seem to show up with a cup of coffee for me when I need it most. And how for almost a decade you're the one person I knew I could count on, day or night, for whatever I needed. That's why I'm here right now."

Kate lifted her hands so that her palms rested against his chest. His arms snaked around her waist and she took a half step closer until their foreheads connected. Shaking her head ever so slightly she sighed, "Just...don't break my heart, Rick."

At the rawness and vulnerability in her tone, Castle squeezed her waist a little bit tighter. "I swear I will do everything in my power not to." This was it for him and he knew it. He had almost lost Kate Beckett once and he'd be damned if he let it happen a second time.

She opened her eyes, smiled gently and then gave him a kiss. He moved his hands from her waist to cup her jaw and stroke her cheeks gently with his thumbs.

"So," he began, gazing down at her as though she was an actual star that had fallen from the heavens. "What are you doing every night for the next week?"

Her brows arched. "Every night? Why Mr. Castle doesn't that go against one of your rules?"

A laugh escaped his lips. "Well, Ms. Beckett, with you I plan on breaking every single one of them."

She grinned even wider. "Perfect."

A/N: First I want to thank everyone who reviewed at the end of chapter 9. Nearly 100 of you - that was quite overwhelming. I appreciate the kind words and those of you that said you understand my decision. And, as I said before, with some reviewers we'll just have to agree to disagree.

Also, thanks to those of you that made it through the entire story - I appreciate that. I hope you enjoyed it. For those familiar with the movie, I hope you enjoyed the mash-up.

Several of you asked and I tried to reply, but some were guest comments so I couldn't: I will not be posting the epilogue or the aforementioned sequel to this story on this site, but I might eventually post the epilogue on my tumblr.

Generally, this is where I tell you what's next, except there isn't anything. I will post the remaining 2 parts of "A Spark" but after that I'm going to take a little break.

It's clear from the events of posting this story and the associated comments that I need to take a step back and evaluate what I'm doing and why I'm doing it. You might get a couple one shots from me here and there, but as far as multi chapters I'm probably done for a while.

Thanks again for your reviews and follows; I appreciate them.