It was very possible that Nick had a bit of a masochistic streak in him. There was definitely something that welcomed this hell that he kept putting himself though. Otherwise why did he keep doing it?

"Unless you are calling me to say you signed the damn paperwork, you can go fuck yourself."

"Hello, Lilith."

"Really? You want to do this?"

"All I said was hello." He'd honestly tried to come into this one from as neutral of a stance as he could.

From a state away, he could hear the woman rolling her eyes. "I don't want your damn hellos, Nicky. I want to get my daughter's passport in order."

"I've been thinking about it" almost all the time, "and seeing as I have joint custody," a little fact that he still hadn't injured Gabriel for omitting, "I think it would be in June's best interest to stay here in the states."

"With you?" She laughed, blatantly ignoring the logic in his well thought out and even more well rehearsed offer.

"Yes with me. You know I can take care of her. Go get married, move to fucking Guam for all I care. But don't drag June halfway across the world just to spite me."

"You always take these things so god damned personal. You ever stop to think that I'm taking her with me because she's my daugher and I love her?"

Honestly? No. He'd known this woman since he was a kid and he still clearly remembered the day that she insisted that they play baseball with the floursack baby that they'd been given to take care of in health class. White clouds of carnage had covered the backyard. Which, granted, it had just been a stupid assignment. But a few years later when Anna had popped out her first kid, Lilith never got that dreamy eyed look that most girls get when confronted with babies. She hadn't even wanted to hold Isaac. In fact she'd leaned into Nick and whispered to him how glad she was that that little screaming rat-puke hadn't come out of her.

"You don't have a maternal bone in your body, Lil."

She laughed. Actually laughed, because they both knew it was true. It was the first time that Nick had heard he do so in years, and he found that it didn't cast the same kind of spell on him that it used to.

"But I do have your child support coming in, as well as the money that Michael is paying me to stay the fuck away from you. Now why would I want to mess that up?"

Nick leaned against his kitchen counter, angry, but oddly relieved that it could all boil down to something so simple.

The line got quiet as he fought down a headache, not really knowing what to say. It's not like he'd been expecting her to just agree to give him June, but he'd kind of been hoping that it could be the start of some serious bargaining.

"Forty-eight thousand."

He couldn't have heard that right. "Excuse me?"

"Your brother gives me six thousand a year. So between now and when she turns eighteen, I get forty-eight thousand for June. You willing to match that, Nicky?"

He looked at the phone, not sure that the offer was real. Because who honestly offers to sell their child? For any amount of money?

But this was Lilith. .

"I… I'll keep paying the child support." He already gave the woman six hundred bucks a month, in the long run it would equal out to more than what she was asking.

She laughed again. "You can have her, and I can have the child support and the forty-eight thousand."

"Fuck, Lil. You know I don't have that kind of money."

"That's my offer, you bastard. You don't want it- then sign the paperwork like I told you to do two weeks ago."

"Didn't you say that the guy you're marrying is loaded?"

"He is, but a girl's gotta have her play money, and I like the idea of really sticking it to you any way I fucking can."

And he found himself asking a question even though he already knew the answer. But he was tired. "How can you be this big of a bitch?"

"It's just about as easy as it will be to call my lawyer tomorrow and get that court order. Now, I've got to go pick my sweet baby girl up from softball practice. You go ahead a give me a call if you change your mind." And she just hung up.

Nick let go of the counter, sinking all the way down to the floor and pressing his head to his knees. He wondered if he could guilt Gabriel into giving him the money. He wondered if his brother even had that kind of money laying around- considering that despite him being a rather successful lawyer, his wife still made more than him. And Rehka, bless her beautiful, exotic heart, she was part of the club that firmly believed that Nick should never have had a child to begin with.

It wasn't fair, and life seldom was. But all that Nick could really think was that he'd picked a hell of a time to give up drinking- because right now that is what he needed more than anything else.

There came a knocking to his door. And, yeah, not as good as a drink. But he wasn't in a good position to really be all that picky at this point in his life.

"It's unlocked." He called as he started to drag himself to his feet.

Sam let himself in, big open smile when he saw Nick rising up from the kitchen floor like some hollow eyed sea monster.

"I got us Chinese food." He set the bag of little takeout boxes on the counter before stealing a kiss. "You doing ok?" He asked, the spark of warmth going right out of his eyes, traded for concern.

Nick smothered down all the things he was feeling with a smile that was mostly for show, realized that there was no way that Sam was going to buy it, and settled for another kiss instead. "I will be once I get some food in me."

"Well, you're in luck." Sam hit the bag with the back of his hand, giving Nick a smile that bordered on sympathetic, but the guy didn't ask what was wrong. He never did. Like if they could both just ignore it then it might just fix itself or simply go away.

"I'll get some plates."

"We're not just going to eat out of the boxes like we normally do?- not that I'm complaining."

Nick rolled his eyes at the criticism and tucked his phone away into a pocket before going to the cupboard.

"Um… what's this?"

Nick looked over his shoulder to see Sam examining a scrap of paper tacked onto the fridge with a nifty little magnet shaped like a unicorn- though it was hard to tell under the muddy mix of pink paint and glitter that his niece had slapped on before giving it to him.

"It's, uh- cease and desist order from the girl who lives in next door." Nick tried to keep his tone even and unamused as he fished around for some matching dishes.

"Hey, four-eleven. It's great that you got yourself a smoking hot boyfriend, but do you have to fuck him every single night?" Sam read aloud, his eyebrows high as he laughed his way through the very polite letter. "I'm not saying this because you're a gay couple. I wouldn't care if you were flying purple dinosaurs. In fact, I'm a huge gay-rights supporter. But seriously, every night? It's awesome that you have such a healthy sex life, but I don't want to hear it. I work long hours and coming home late at night only to be woken up by what seems to be an exorcism- if all the screaming and begging is anything to go off of- is not my idea of relaxing. Don't stop by any means, but please try and keep it down. Please… besides that you are delightful neighbors and seem awesome if your music is anything to go by. Sincerely, four-thirteen."

Nick divied up the chinese food, biting his lip to mask his amusement.

"...why are you keeping it on the fridge?"

"I'm starting a scrapbook." He said easily.

Sam snorted softly as he straightened the note, smoothing down the edges. "We aren't that loud… are we?"

"You know we are." Nick set the plates down at the table.

"I-" Sam shook his head and came over, sitting down in his usual chair. His smile was one of those beautifully dangerous ones that he typically reserved for when Nick was in real trouble.

It went a long way to lightening Nick's mood and he found himself smiling a little more honestly.

Sam stabbed up a forkful of his awful steamed vegetables. "Maybe you are, but I'm a gentleman in bed. Very respectful, and reserved."

Which was ridiculous enough that it actually got Nick laughing. "Darlin', it's like… eighty percent you."

Sam kicked him under the table and ate his food.

It wasn't a subject worth arguing over. There would be no winners. Instead they made a good attempt, after dinner, at the quietest sex possible. It was maddening, and honestly, Nick though that even their restrained moans got a bit too loud at a certain point.

The heavy panting afterwards wasn't exactly quiet either- though it also went a very long way towards making Nick forget about earlier.

It was almost like he had a good thing going for him that stood some chance of actually overshadowing all the awful problems that he kept making for himself.

Sam's mouth was hot against the back of his neck as the two of they laid in a tangle of limbs and sheets. "Did I win?"

But Nick's brain was a bit slower and everything was just this hazy warm glow while he struggled to make sense of the words.

"What did you win, darlin'?"

Teeth grazed the muscles of his shoulder. "Everything?"

"Whatever you want." Nick promised sleepily.

The arm around his waist tightened. "You're useless afterwards. You know that?"

He just hummed happily, settling deeper into the very welcoming, but almost overwhelming heat that Sam always seemed to radiate.

Sam must have chuckled. Nick could feel the rumble where the younger man's chest was pressed to his back. "Go to sleep, old man."

"No." He kicked his feet just a little, shaking them free of the blankets.

"No?"

"No. 'Old man' is the worst pet name."

"Pooky?"

"...ok. That's a bit worse."

"Sugar?"

"Don't make me throttle you."

"... poundcake?"

Nick did his best not to laugh because this was serious business here.

He could actually hear the grin in Sam's voice as he said, "Yeah. I'm going with poundcake."

"Don't you dare."

"My big… strong… poundcake."

Not that there was really any dignity left to defend at this point, but pretences and all- so Nick rolled like a ferocious crocodile and caught up his laughing boyfriend between his jaws, giving him a well earned thrashing.

Sam apparently didn't feel like acknowledging the seriousness of it all though, because he just laughed and kissed back, knotting his fingers in Nick's hair and showing no mercy.

"You fucking menace." He hissed out as Sam let himself get pinned down- or at least something close to pinned, with his shoulders pressed down into the mattress and one knee sort of hooked around Nick's hip.

Sam just grinned between kisses.

"Why do I keep inviting you over?"

A rather thoughtful look passed over Sam's face, which was undermined by the way that his hair was a complete mess, and the curl of a smile on his dark, abused lips. "Because you love me?"

"No... it's not that."

Sam thought some more, his fingers dragging slowly down Nick's neck and shoulders, following the lines of his tattoos where the patterns curled in the bend of his elbows. "Well, then it's probably the promise of sex."

Nick barked a laugh and shook his head.

God. He loved this man.

"And you'd miss me if I wasn't here to say goodnight and tuck you in."

True. "Then I guess the bad news is that if you came over with the intent to just say goodnight then we need to reassess just how terrible we both are at this."

Sam's hands slid back up to his shoulders, getting some odd kind of leverage and pulling Nick back down so that they could lay side by side again, face to face this time, all the better to see each other with.

"What are you talking about?" Sam scoffed and grabbed a handful of blankets, pulling them over Nick. "We're amazing."

"No. You're amazing. I am a mess."

Sam failed to give him a proper kiss, kind of coming up short and just clumsily pressing his lips to the corner of Nick's mouth.

And they didn't usually pull out the 'I love you' card for any reason other than teasing each other- mostly because they weren't a pair of teenaged girls. They'd said it once with real intent. They knew that they meant it. It was enough.

And over the last two weeks Nick had found that there were many, many other ways to convey the same sentiment- and Sam seemed rather skilled at finding those ways.

"You are a mess." He agreed a little too easily, smug little smile. "But you're my mess."