Bel was stressed. He paced back and forth through the house as he waited impatiently for Dino to come back home. He had been up all night crying as the idea of Xanxus finding him again terrified him, and as hard as he had tried, he hadn't been able to sleep throughout the day, either. Dino had told him it was the day Squalo got out of the hospital, and today would be the first time he would see his old guardian in what felt like an eternity. He was anxious, hoping the silver-haired man would still be the same Squalo he remembered – but he doubted it, as Dino had finally come clean to him the night before and told him about the other's deep depression and how Bel wasn't the only one who had suffered severe psychological scars from Xanxus' hands.
The blond couldn't fault Squalo for however he may be now; he had only lived with them for a few months and look at how Bel had turned out from it, mute, depressed and suicidal – but Squalo had been there for so many years, and Bel knew he would have killed himself already without a doubt if he were in his old guardian's shoes.
Bel knew he needed to stop pacing and try not to think about his worries; Gokudera had worked hard with him to help him find ways to calm down, and he didn't want to have wasted his boyfriend's efforts after all their years together. He turned around so that he could go back down the hallway and into the room Dino had given Squalo, remembering how Gokudera had taught him to occupy himself when he couldn't stop the anxiety any other way. He ventured into the room so that he could look around, recognising much of the man's belongings to still be the same as when he had lived with them as a child. He knew Dino had gone and emptied out Squalo's old home and brought everything to his own, but the smaller blond had never been in this room before; it felt too… personal, as if he were causing distress to someone he never wished to hurt in his life. This room gave him anxiety, and he wondered if it would be any different if he were to enter it with Squalo by his side.
The young man was about to leave the room, not sure he could cope in here any longer, but he froze as he caught sight of a desk pressed against the wall beneath the window. He wasn't aware of his legs carrying him towards it; all he knew was that he was drawn by a familiar book he could see sitting neatly with other novels. He reached out when he was close enough and pulled the book away from the rest so that he could wipe away imaginary dust from the cover and stare at the colourful background. He remembered this book, the very first book Squalo had read to him. Back then, Bel hadn't learnt Italian, so his guardian had read it to him in his native tongue as the blond's chubby fingers ghosted over the pages as he admired the pictures. It had been his favourite book, and it had become ritual for Squalo to read it to Bel every night before bed in order to soothe the blond into sleep.
Bel felt tears roll down his cheeks as he opened the book to the first page. It was in Italian, but in his mind, he could hear Squalo's voice echo in Russian as he read it to the blond. He opened his mouth and licked at his lips, trying so hard to read the book out loud to himself in a language he hadn't used since he was eight, but all he could manage was a few squeaks and soft noises as his anxiety grew. He sniffed as he closed the book and hugged it tight to his chest, and though he was sure he had only been there for a minute or so, his attention was soon grabbed by the sound of Dino's BMW pulling into the garage. He hurried out of Squalo's room with his book still in his arms, eager to see the man who had only tried to give him a home when he had none; he didn't blame Squalo for what Xanxus had done, because no one else had bothered to take him off the streets, and he shuddered to think where he would have ended up if it weren't for the silver-haired male's kindness.
Bel stopped in the entrance hallway as he heard Dino's house key unlocking the door. He hugged his book tighter as he looked to his feet, waiting for the two older males to enter. He didn't lift his head when he heard Dino talking to him; he wasn't sure if he was ready to look up just yet.
"Squalo's here, Bel. You can give him a hug if you want."
It was when a voice he hadn't heard in a long time finally reached his ears did Bel look up. "What have you got, brat…?"
Slowly, Bel lifted his head. He felt sick at the quiet voice thick with anxiety that had sounded throughout the entrance hall, and when his obscured eyes finally focused on the man he hadn't seen since his ninth birthday, he let tears slide down his cheeks. He stepped closer to Squalo, looking anywhere but at the man's face that was so bruised, swollen, and covered in stitches, he looked like something out of a horror movie. With shaking hands, he passed the book over to Squalo.
"That's the book I read to you…" Squalo raised both arms in order to accept the book, but he made an agitated noise as only one hand made contact with the hard cover and his bandaged stump brushed uselessly against it. He couldn't keep himself from grinding his teeth as he cried, and he didn't know whether it was from the fact that he no longer had his left hand or that seeing Bel again was too much; all he knew was that while he had done well to keep his emotions locked away inside Dino's car, here and now… All he could do was let out the tears he had only ever kept inside out of fear of Xanxus.
Bel frowned. He gingerly put his book on the decorative stand next to them before he reached out and put his hands on Squalo's shoulders. He made a soft sound, trying his hardest to speak, but as always, his anxiety only spiked and left him as wordless as always. He didn't let that deter him; he moved so that he was resting against Squalo's body and had his head tucked under the older male's chin. He felt warm arms embrace him, and though he was only used to hugging Gokudera, he returned the hold.
Dino said nothing as he closed the front door behind them and locked it again for their younger two's sake. He stood by in case they needed him, but when it became clear that all they wanted in this moment was each other, he left without a word to go into the kitchen and prepare them snacks and drinks so that they could sit together in the living room for as long as they needed.
The older blond didn't know what he could do to help; Bel had been hard enough to care for after his trauma, and he had only been able to get better because he had slowly made friends and entered a gentle, loving and understanding relationship – but Squalo had been in a very abusive relationship for eighteen years, and the damage was done; there would be no rehabilitating him, salvaging him the way they had been able to do so for Bel.
The truth was, Dino had no idea what he was supposed to do for his best friend after getting him out of that house, because everything he could of, he knew would only break Squalo further.
Dino felt a few tears of his own slide down his cheeks, but he brushed them away; he had to be strong because Bel and Squalo were counting on him to help them.