Gokudera had never felt so lost before, not even with his friends there to help him. It wasn't easy for him to be taking care of Bel now; the blond was broken, and the brain damage didn't make it any easier – all Gokudera could do was try his best to be more patient than he had ever been before and help his boyfriend through it, because the silver-haired male wasn't the only one struggling with the turn of events.

Like now, as Gokudera awoke at some ungodly hour of the morning to his boyfriend's anxious pants and next a scream. The younger knew what was wrong, and it was almost becoming second nature for him to explain to Bel that he was no longer with Xanxus and had been brought back to Japan.

"Bel, it's okay, baby…" Gokudera's voice was slurred with sleep, but as tired as he was, he had to be there for Bel – he had to. "You're not with Xanxus now; I helped get you away. I brought you back to Japan with me to keep you safe. Remember?"

Gokudera knew it wasn't Bel's fault the blond couldn't remember where he was or that he had been rescued; his hypothalamus had been damaged, so it wasn't easy for the older male to make new memories or retrieve old ones anymore. Sure, there were things Bel could still remember, or could learn to remember, but that would take some time, and Gokudera could only try and reinforce new memories slowly into his mind.

Bel's pants were still heavy, but when he groped blindly through the darkness for Gokudera's hand, the younger knew it was okay to touch him now; Bel was ready, and he was trusting the other to be telling him the truth. He wondered what had happened to Fran if he had been rescued, but he didn't know how to communicate his worries to his boyfriend; he no longer used writing as means of communicating.

"See? You're safe here with me, sweetheart. You're safe. It's three in the morning; can you go back to sleep?" Gokudera knew Bel was going to be awake for a long time, so he instead sat on the edge of the mattress and switched the bedside lamp on. "I'll be right back; I'm going to get you a glass of milk."

Bel pulled his blankets up to his chin as his attention was drawn to the lamp now. He didn't notice Gokudera leaving the room, but he paid attention when the younger came to his side with a glass of warm milk. He sat up with the silver-haired male's help, propped upwards by his pillows, and allowed the glass of milk to be held to his lips and tilted upwards so that he could drink.

Gokudera waited until Bel turned his head away before he put the cup down; the blond wasn't drinking by himself anymore, and he could only do so with help. He smiled as he wiped away white droplets from the other's lips before he laid Bel back down in the bed and tucked him in tight. He went back to his own side and made himself comfortable before he let a yawn escape his lips. "Close your eyes, Bel. It's time for sleep. Go to sleep; that's right…"

Bel nuzzled close against his boyfriend, but he still couldn't go back to sleep; he felt he was wide awake, and all he wanted to do was stare at the younger male through the darkness.

Needless to say, when Gokudera awoke early the next morning to Bel sitting on the edge of their bed turning the alarm on and off, the silver-haired male was upset; the older male hadn't slept, and that was all Gokudera had wanted for him.

~~XX~~

"Come on, sweetheart."

Bel looked up from the hem of his jacket he had been picking at as he heard Gokudera's voice. He heard the car turn off, and when he looked out of his window, he felt a slight headache appear as he almost remembered where they were; this was… Gokudera's… school…? No… That wasn't right…

Gokudera undid his seatbelt before he got out of the car and went to help Bel out to his feet. He wrapped his arm around the smaller male's side to hold him close, not wanting for the blond to fall over; Bel had never been clumsy before, but he had been falling a lot when left unsupported lately.

"We're going to run in and get a few things for lunch, Bel. What do you want for lunch? Do you want sushi again?"

Bel made no sign he had heard the other; he simply looked all around his surroundings until he remembered what place this was; this was where Gokudera worked; he could sort of remember coming in with his boyfriend before.

Gokudera didn't let the silence bother him; he had had ten years to get used to it, after all – it was just… he used to at least have a phone or a notepad to read answers off of… "Well, we had sushi for dinner last night, and I can make you some more later if you want it. So how about we have pizza today? We haven't had Italian for a while, have we, Bel?"

Bel didn't even look at Gokudera; he simply stopped walking so that he could play with a price tag he saw hanging off the shelf.

"Bel, you shouldn't play with that; it's bothersome when tickets go missing. Come on; let's go get stuff for pizza."

Bel groaned in annoyance when he felt himself being tugged away from his new favourite toy, but he quickly stopped trying to go back to the ticket; he knew that Gokudera was stronger than him, and he wasn't going to be able to get away.

"Let's see; we've got some dough at home, so we just need the sauce and toppings. Bel, can you go get me the cheese, please?"

When Bel made no move to leave the younger's side, Gokudera sighed; how could he have forgotten…?

"It's okay, Bel; we'll get the cheese together."

For the rest of the journey to gather cooking ingredients, Gokudera talked about anything he could think of in hopes it would somehow help Bel's recovery, but the blond barely noticed him; he was too absorbed in all of his new surroundings to pay much attention to what the silver-haired male was saying.

Even during checkout, as Gokudera talked with his co-worker and tried his hardest to include Bel, it was futile. But at least the smaller male followed behind as Gokudera gathered the bags and left to put them into the car.

The car park was busy, and Gokudera kept a careful eye on his boyfriend; he didn't know if the other still retained his road sense or not, and he didn't want to find out the hard way. But, as always, the second he took his eyes off the blond for two seconds, it happened.

"Bel!" Gokudera dropped the bags he had been about to put in the backseat of his car and run to his wailing boyfriend. Bel didn't look injured; maybe just shaken up, but still, he couldn't help but be very careful as he helped the frail male to his feet. He looked around at the crowd that had gathered as he held Bel tight; at least they were just concerned. "It's okay; he's fine. It was an accident; he's not hurt; just scared."

Gokudera helped Bel towards the car, but before they could finish the journey there, the blond pivoted on the spot and wrapped his arms tightly around the taller male. He nuzzled in close as he cried, and suddenly, the silver-haired male couldn't hold back his own tears; this was the most normal behaviour the smaller male had displayed since the abduction, and maybe it wasn't the most desirable thing Bel had done, it was still something that proved that, no matter what the nurses had said, Bel was still in there somewhere, waiting to re-emerge with the right circumstances.

It wasn't going to be easy, but Gokudera was resolved to getting his Bel back, and he knew his friends would be, too. It wouldn't happen overnight, and maybe the brain damage would never completely heal, but with lots of love and care, he knew they could get the Bel they knew and loved back – they had helped him before, and they could do it again with a lot of patience.

"It's okay, Bel. I love you." Gokudera kissed the top of Bel's head before he took him back to the car and helped him into the passenger seat. He smiled as a shaking hand reached across and held his own for the rest of the car ride, and for the first time since getting his boyfriend back to Japan, he had hope inside of him – and this time, no matter how hard it would be, he was going to keep his faith up and do his best.

Bel was still in there somewhere, and Gokudera was going to get him back out and salvage him.