AN: This one took longer to write, I got stuck half way through it, had a bunch of homework, studied for a test, yadda yadda. Enjoy.

"How long can we ignore, we build a little more, and then we break our truth." -Wake Owl

Chapter Four

When Monday rolled around Hadeel was absolutely dreading the next day and letting it show when she came into school that morning, one of her friends in her first class commented on it, asking if she was feeling alright. Immediately Hadeel scolded herself, smiling at her friend and explaining that she had a cold and was still getting over it, but wouldn't stay home from school because she didn't want make-up work. She then asked her friend how her weekend had been, and the topic of looking awful was forgotten.

Hadeel had run out of pain killers just yesterday and was feeling the full wrath of her kidneys as she tried to sit as comfortable as possible in math class, taking silent deep breathes in order to control herself. Finally the class was over and she went to her next class and the next class after that, and eventually she was sitting down with her friends, ignoring the fact that she had to sit next to a certain person. Feeling the negativity in the air Hadeel excused herself to the restroom, clawing at her side angrily as another wave of pain threatened to render her breathless and trembling.

If she really needed to she could go home right now, she'd taken her stuff to the car just in case she needed a quick getaway, and all she was carrying right now was a small bag with her art supplies in it. Hadeel made it to the front of the bathroom, right in front of the entrance before a jolt of pain made her lean agonizingly against the wall, it would probably be best if she just went home.

"Are you okay?" A voice behind her called. Turning to glance at whomever it was Hadeel sighed pitifully, her friend had followed her to the bathroom much to her dismay.

"I'm fine, just a cramp, I started my period this morning," she muttered suddenly remembering Bane. He would see right through that lie and pick her apart until her eyes were left vulnerable and bitter, but what would her friend say?

"Oh, that sucks," she responded looking away from her.

"Yup," Hadeel said coldly. Why couldn't anyone else tell if she was lying or not? And if they could tell why didn't they call her out on it?

"Are you still mad at me?" She suddenly asked. They were still standing in the hallway right in front of the bathroom, a few people walked by but not so much that Hadeel was going to feel awkward about this conversation.

"No," Hadeel lied with a smile on her face.

No matter how much she wished her friend would see through her lie she knew that it wouldn't happen, it appeared that only Bane knew when she was lying. Remembering the week before Hadeel absentmindedly traced her fingers over where he had grabbed onto her arm so roughly, she had been sure it would bruise, but it hadn't.

"Cool, because I have some stuff to tell you," she said letting a grin come out onto her face.

Hadeel wanted to yell at her, to tell her that she wasn't happy, that she had been hurt by what had happened and it wasn't just going to vanish without thought or memory. But she didn't say anything; she couldn't stay mad at her friends, perhaps because in a way they made her feel as if there was still something good in the world. Even with all the death, pain, and anger all around them they could still smile and laugh about small petty things and Hadeel needed something to laugh at.

"Well, I kind of have to, you know," Hadeel muttered motioning towards the bathroom with her head.

"Oh, yeah, I'll see you back at the table," she said before walking away with a small skip in her step. Hadeel watched her go resentfully, that girls head was always in the clouds and focused on things that didn't matter, and sometimes Hadeel couldn't help but feel a bit of hate towards her.

Finally going into the bathroom Hadeel got over to the sinks, grabbed some paper towel, and soaked it with cold water before placing it on her forehead and arms, sighing at the temperature of it. Looking up into the mirror Hadeel saw that she was a little pale even in the lightness of the bathroom, she looked sicklier now than when she had left her house that morning.

"I'm going to go home," she said to herself in the mirror. Nodding to herself she frowned before walking out of the bathroom and away from her friends. The least she could do was go into art class early and tell one of the other students to tell the teacher that she had been feeling very sick, that would be considerate at least.

Feeling a little bad for just leaving her friends again she took out her phone and texted one of them, telling him that she was feeling like she was going to throw up and was going home. He texted back a moment later with a frown and a simple, see you Wednesday, hope you feel better, but Hadeel was not going to be there Wednesday. Mumbling something to herself Hadeel stalked down the hallway and opened the door to the outside, feeling the cold air on her skin was a bit of a relief. Taking a deep breath Hadeel wandered towards the art room, heaving huge sigh of relief when she saw that one of her classmates was indeed working on something.

A quick smile and explanation saw Hadeel out the door in a flash, making it only a few steps when another awful wave of pain brought her against the wall gritting her teeth angrily. Grumpily she pulled herself around a corner and behind the building, letting herself slide down the wall. The pain had never been this bad before, of course she had never run out of pain killers before or had as many stones as she had in her kidneys. A lot of firsts happening and all she could do was find a comfortable position on the ground until the pain seemed to lessen and dull inside her body.

Gulping down the cool air Hadeel almost whimpered at the sheer amount of pain she was feeling, her aunt had kidney stones as well as two kids and she had told Hadeel that kidney stones was almost as painful as giving birth. Hadeel's mother joked about how Hadeel would probably have the most kids as the pain would be so familiar to her she could ignore it, but perhaps that was the only positive thing that could come of kidney stones.

Feeling a little helpless just laying on the ground behind a building Hadeel's face scrunched into a more depressed expression, how was she going to get home if she could barely move?

Ignore it.

Her brain cried out to her; ignore it as she always did. She could make it to her car at least, and then she could drive home and be in a place where no one would be able to see the agony in which she suffered. Gritting her teeth against the stabbing feeling in her side Hadeel pulled herself to her feet and started to walk around the backside of the building, regardless of needing help she didn't want anyone to see her, not like this. Forcing the feeling back down her throat Hadeel pulled a song from her lungs, one that she had always like the chorus of, but never cared for the rest of the song, the singer was kind of weird.

"Shot a rabbit from the backseat window, sat and watched the summer corn grow," her voice came out strong right away. She was sued to this by now, pretending she was okay, compelling her voice to overcome the pain she felt, and to smile like she had just heard a funny joke. "Ate ice cream in a dessert dream, and got love in father seeing you. Too hot inside, too hot outside, lazy days when you said lets go for a ride," near the end of the verse Hadeel's voice seemed to shake.

There was too much of a strain on her throat as she forced herself to breathe normally and hide away everything that she was feeling.

"Dangit," she muttered bitterly. "I was doing so well," she whimpered letting her body fall onto the concrete again.

By now the sun was going down, so Hadeel was at least a little happy that she was able to watch the sunset from her seat on the ground, she had always liked looking at the clouds. It's hard to explain exactly how kidney pain feels, perhaps it is like when one breaks a bone, or stubs one's toe, except that it does not leave when one continues walking or when it is left alone. It's a constant radiating pain that seems to vibrate with anger when one tries to move.

"We'd sail on spirit lake, me my pappy and his lemonade," she sang out confidently. At least she had been able to finish the verse of the song; she liked the way the lyrics sounded with the melody, even if she couldn't do it justice.

Leaning her head back against the wall Hadeel closed her eyes and took deep controlled breaths that reminded her of the breathing exercises they used to do in band before starting early morning rehearsal sometimes. How long had it been since she'd smiled like she had in band class? Happy to just be able to play her part correctly or to hear the music that she and her classmates could create, it had been at least a year and a half.

"Won't someone save me," she sang in a sort of whisper. "Doesn't anyone care," her voice trailed off softly. Sometimes Hadeel would imagine that her life was a musical and sing about silly things like making pancakes in the morning and how she had spilled some on the floor, like how they did in movies. This was a different matter, but sometimes she would sing about what she really wanted to say, what she held back and never asked anyone or even mentioned.

No one would save her, not when she always pushed them so far away from her.

Suddenly hearing footsteps Hadeel listened intently for the familiar sound of breathing and heavy footfalls, when the sounds found her ears she smiled and put her head back against the wall, her eyes still closed and shut off from the world.

"I know those steps, that breathing, those sounds," she said loudly enough for the man to hear. "That voice," she whispered to herself softly.

"Why are you on the ground little Songbird? Have you lost your wings?" Bane asked stopping next to the girls form. Hadeel smiled softly at the man's words, keeping her eyes closed she left a more peaceful expression on her face.

"I lost them a long time ago," she murmured breathing out a deep painful sigh.

"Are you ill?" He asked letting his voice ring out.

Hadeel simply smiled again, finally opening her eyes to look at the man that more than towered over her now, he looked nothing less than a giant as he stood above her. His eyes looked the same, cold, emotionless, hard, and determined, but the way his voice sounded Hadeel couldn't quite place what she heard. Perhaps worry?

"I'll be fine soon," she explained. Soon meant tomorrow, but no one at the school knew that save for her and her teachers, and even if Bane threatened her like he had last time she would not tell him. "Just need to get to my car," she muttered glancing over at the parking lot. It was still pretty far away by her standards at the moment, merely a two minute walk, but that could possibly be a ten minute stagger in her current condition. "Get home," she added.

"Will you be less ill at home?" He questioned her shortly. Hadeel had a feeling he already knew the answer to the question, how could being home make any difference in the means of unrelenting pain?

"Not really, but at least I can lock the door," she said with a small laugh up at him.

"And you will deal with this illness alone," he stated. Hadeel wasn't sure if it was a question or if he was just thinking out loud, or whatever, but he hit it right on the dot.

"This kind of thing," Hadeel grunted trying to look less sick in front of him. Pulling herself to her feet and using the wall as support she adjusted the bag on her shoulder before doing her best to look him in the eyes. "I'm always alone," her reply was simple and short. Taking a few steps forward she strode towards the parking lot carefully, not wanting to set off anymore pain in her side.

Just as she was about to pass Bane he put an arm in front of her, letting his hand rest on her shoulder he stared down at her a little angrily. She held his gaze for a few seconds before looking away and trying to get around him, but his hand on her shoulder felt like a huge weight holding her in place. There was no shake in his grip, the way his arm stopped her movement one would think there was a wall in front of them.

"You can barely stand," he declared watching her tremble and shake.

"But," she said holding up one of her fingers. "I am standing, that is an improvement," she grinned up at him like a child. His eyes darkened at her comment as if he was becoming trouble and livid at her replies to him.

"You won't be able to make it to your car little Songbird," he commented holding her eyes in his overpowering gaze.

"Oh?" She questioned feeling something fun and silly arise in her suddenly.

She hadn't noticed it before but when she spoke to Bane there was a bit of lightness that came into her being, a feeling she hadn't felt for a long time. Not since her father would hold her close during scary movies, it was a feeling she missed without realizing it. There was also something about his questions that made Hadeel want to tell him the answers, the sudden urge had puzzled her and so she'd chosen to go against it. Why should she tell this man everything, wasn't he just like everyone else? As for now she was having a bit of fun, it felt like she was playing keep away, except this time she was keeping herself away instead of a toy.

"That feels like a challenge, I'm going to make it now," she nodded letting determination flood into her eyes. "Watch me," she whispered up at him.

At first Bane made no move to change anything that he was doing, Hadeel was obviously suffering from some sort of pain or illness, he had a feeling that if he let her go right now, he would just have to pick her up again later. But the look in her eyes as she stared up at him made him think otherwise, for there was strength in those orbs that he had never seen her hold before.

"I will not pick you up when you fall," he said removing his hand from her shoulder. The tremble in her body seemed to have vanished along with the tremble in her stride as she began to walk forward.

"Didn't expect you to," she said before making her way to her car slowly. There was always an outstanding feeling that came with defiance, like seeing a sign that says does not walk on the grass, of course one would want to stomp on that grass at much as possible.

The same could be said for Hadeel, as soon as Bane said she wouldn't be able to make it to her car she felt darn well obligated to make it to her car by any means necessary. Gritting her teeth bitterly she trudged through the pain and was only a few steps from her car when she pretty much tripped over her own feet and started to plummet towards the ground. Ready for impact she had to say she was more than surprised when a strong arm stopped her from smashing her face into the pavement. It felt very much like the arm that had prevented her from leaving the other night, but somehow it felt more sensitive and caring.

Looking up Hadeel smiled sheepishly when she saw that Bane was more than glaring down at her, he seemed a little too livid for Hadeel's standards, what was he so mad about anyway?

"If you had asked me for help, I wouldn't have said no," he said placing her feet back onto the ground carefully. Still he left his arm around her stomach protectively and powerfully, feeling that she might somehow break if he let her off to go on her own again.

"That's awfully kind of you, very cool," she grinned patting his arm gently. "But the thing is," she paused making an expression as if she had been caught stealing food. "I never ask for help," she said with laughter in her voice. "And no one ever helps me anyway," she muttered under her breath with a playful expression.

Bane was a little puzzled by what she said to him, someone as weak and fragile as her never asked for help? Impossible, she had to have someone that cared whether or not she returned home. She was so bright and careful with how she treated other people, always laughing, smiling, even in her pain she got through it with fake happiness. There had to be someone waiting for her to get home.

And yet he could feel that there was no one for her, because where would her pain come from if she had someone waiting for her when she got home? Why would she have such sadness lurking beneath her lies if she had someone who cared for her? No, there was no one waiting for her to get home.

"Can you move your arm? My car is right there," she complained glancing back at him. "Why are you so big and strong?" She questioned him grumpily. As if it was his fault that she was wimpy and worthless when it came to fighting. "It's not fair," she murmured.

Pulling his arm back to his side Bane let the girl go, watching as she unlocked her car and sighed when she finally sat down in the old vehicle with a groan.

"Fly carefully, Little Songbird," Bane said before walking away quickly. "See you Wednesday," he called back to her.

Hadeel smiled faintly to herself before staring her car, he wouldn't see her Wednesday, and no one at school would see her at all for at least a week. She had her surgery tomorrow, so she would miss Wednesday, and the next Monday was a day they had off, so she would perhaps be back to school the following Wednesday. Faintly she wondered if Bane would come back to see her after she had been gone all that time, probably not.

030

The next day Hadeel was at the hospital early in the morning, looking disgustingly at the white walls that plagued her mind so much, the familiar smell of the too clean building made her want to vomit, she hated this place.

Soon it didn't matter what her feelings of the building were, the cold air met her skin after she changed into one of the dreaded hospital gowns, and the revolting feeling of cold liquid creeping up her veins was present before her world turned black. When she next woke up her vision was blurred and foggy, looking around faintly she could tell that there were a couple nurses by her bed, checking whatever they needed to check. For a moment her eyes stopped at the back of the room when she thought she saw a bed covered in a blanket, she wanted to gasp and cry out, not again, why was she seeing this again?

She hadn't even realized that she had fallen back asleep, it could have been for mere seconds or hours, she didn't know, there was no way to know, she was in the room still, with nurses and doctors milling around. The bed was gone; the blanket covered body had been moved. Did someone die?

When she woke again she was back in her hospital room, glancing over at the other patient in the room she took a shaky breath that came out as a choked sob, she was scared. The memory of the blanket covered body always scared her, because whoever it was that had died had been forgotten by the world, his unknown form plagued her dreams and stole countless nights of sleep.

Glancing around the room frantically Hadeel looked for someone she knew, anyone she knew, but she remembered that her parents had work and she had told them she would be okay alone. Of course she had been hoping they would see through her lie, but they hadn't, and so she was alone in the room with a stranger of a patient sleeping next to her.

Feeling around her back Hadeel found the surface of a bandage that covered the smoothness of the tube that was sticking out of her back and into a draining bag. Immediately a sad bitterness crept into her heart as she felt immensely sorry for herself, she was alone, in a place that she hated, with no one to smile at her and ask if she was okay. Of course there was no one to blame but herself as she hadn't told anyone but her teachers of her surgery, and she had insisted to her parents that she would be okay.

Hadeel's face twisted into an expression of sadness before she brought her hands weekly to her face, feeling her eyes well up with tears she took a choked breath before sobbing softly. It was her fault that she was alone, and she hated herself for it.

030

The next day was Wednesday and Hadeel didn't feel like talking to anyone, still in the hospital she had spent the night alone and without sleep, feeling the aftermath of the surgery with no one to cling to but herself. The curtain that separated Hadeel from the other patient was still present, she could see nothing of the other person who was a resident in the room, and she didn't even know what the person looked like. If it was a girl or a boy, what was wrong with them, nothing, she knew nothing.

The curtain did a very nice job of cutting Hadeel off from the rest of the world beyond it, even the door was covered by the sheet and the other patient. Hadeel couldn't see anyone until they walked to where her bed was.

"Is Hadeel sleeping?" Hadeel heard her mother's voice ask quickly. Feeling a brightness flood through her being Hadeel grinned slightly, they hadn't forgotten about her, her mother was here to see her at last.

"No, she's been awake for quite some time," a voice explained. "The surgery went fine, if she needs anything like morphine she can just ask and we'll help her get to sleep. But she hasn't asked for anything, so we haven't given her anything yet," the voice said quickly.

"I'll talk to her," her mother said carefully.

It was then that she walked into Hadeel's vision.

"Hey honey, how are you doing?" Her voice asked worriedly. Hadeel couldn't help but smile like a child being picked up from daycare, her mother had come to visit her!

"I'm fine," she beamed at her cheerfully.

"Why didn't you get any sleep? You could have asked for some medication to numb the pain," she started to pester her right away. Immediately Hadeel felt the need to bar herself from her mother, she wouldn't tell the woman that she had been miserable and scared the whole night and didn't want to ask for help.

"I don't know," she muttered letting a sad frown fall on her face.

"I have to go, I'll tell them you want to go to sleep, so get some rest," she muttered sounding slightly irritated.

"You just got here," Hadeel mumbled.

"I have to work in order to pay off the bills we're going to get for this," she snapped at Hadeel suddenly. "I'll see you tomorrow, honey, we're going to get you out of here as quickly as possible," she smiled before turning to leave. "Love you, goodbye," she came over to Hadeel quickly, kissing her on the cheek before leaving the room.

A nurse came in not a moment later and asked if Hadeel was tired, she felt her heart twist painfully with new thoughts and emotions swirling around inside her.

"Just put me to sleep," she whispered dejectedly.

The room got fuzzy for a few seconds before a dreamless sleep welcomed her into the darkness.

Waking up lazily her eyes fluttered around the room for a moment before landing on a single figure that was sitting in a chair in front of her. At first she thought it was her father until she saw the familiar glint of metal on his face, if Bane was here then Hadeel must be dreaming, because she hadn't told him anything of the surgery. But why was he following her into her dreams?

It was dark, night time most likely the lights in her room had been turned off and the window beside her could only be described as empty and void of anything bright. Bane certainly looked evil, sitting with his hands supporting his chin; resting his elbows on his knees he regarded her form with a dark look. Hadeel wondered what kind of dream this could possibly be if Bane was in it, a nightmare perhaps?

"Why didn't you tell me?" His question was short and cold. Hadeel could almost feel the icy temperature that accompanied his tone.

"I didn't tell anyone," she answered in a weak pathetic voice. His answer almost looked like in injured him and his eyes changed drastically as he gazed at her body and the I.V's and tube coming from her.

"You told your teachers," he bit out at her.

Hadeel suddenly smiled at him, it was a dream and yet it felt so real and she couldn't help but act like she always did, covering up everything to the point of angering herself.

"That's different, I'm just another kid in a classroom that ditched if I hadn't told them, I don't want to be just another person," she explained closing her eyes slowly. "I wanted them to know that I care about going to class," she muttered feeling her eyelids slump closed slightly.

"What of your friends?" He asked leaning forwards slightly.

"If I told them, would they have taken time out of their day to come keep me company? No, they would have said, 'I hope it goes well' and 'good luck, don't die.'" She laughed at herself shortly.

Bane had to agree with what she had said, her friends would more than likely say something like that, and they would leave her to be alone when she needed them most.

"But Bane," she said his voice, grabbing his attention. "Thank you, thank you for coming," her voice was choked and weak. "It means a lot to me," she said in a shaky voice. And in a few moments she had gone back to sleep, her face twisting into a pained expression and her dream changed. Bane was gone, and her sleep turned dark and empty as it always was in the hospital.

The next day her parents came and took her home, making a few jokes about the tube in her back and how she would be carrying around a bag buddy for a week again. She faked a laugh and looked out the window until they got home. Leaving her on the couch they left for work and her sisters left for school, leaving her alone again, with only the T.V to keep her company.

Her thoughts went back to the dream she had had in the hospital, when she had seen Bane sitting in that chair in front of her bed there had been a certain level of happiness that consumed her heart for a second. He had come to visit her even though she had said nothing about the surgery to him. Holding the memory of the dream within her mind Hadeel smiled at the warmth it brought through her skin, what a lovely dream.

030

Wednesday night Bane walked onto the college campus where he would wait for his little Songbird to sing for him to follow her voice, but she did not sing for him. So he went to her art classroom to look for her, but she wasn't there either, distinctly he recalled that Hadeel hated missing school, she'd told her friends that even when she was sick and sneezing snot everywhere she went to school. They didn't like the sound of that and moved away from her quickly.

So then where was she?

Walking over to the classroom Bane saw that the door was open ever so slightly, he could faintly hear the conversations inside the room as class had started a good twenty minutes ago.

"Is Hadeel not here tonight?" A girl with black hair and headphones around her neck asked the teacher. "She's always here, I was going to ask her for some paint," she muttered looking around the room.

"Hadeel will be back next Wednesday," the teacher explained hearing the student ask about their lying, and always smiling classmate. "She had surgery yesterday and is in the hospital today," the teacher said loudly to the whole classroom before she looked somewhat troubled by what she had said. Perhaps Hadeel had wanted to keep that a secret from everyone.

Bane stiffened with slight anger at what he heard, Hadeel was in the hospital? She hadn't said anything to him at all about surgery or anything of the sort that she would need a surgery for. But what did he expect? He already knew that Hadeel didn't like to tell anyone anything that was bothering her or had something to do with her worries and troubles, why should he be any different?

Of course Bane felt that if she should tell anyone anything it should be him, she was his little Songbird and yet she had been keeping it from them ever since they had met and been talking for the past few weeks.

Feeling very bitter about the whole situation Bane Found the hospital she was staying at and decided he was going to visit her room. It was a little troublesome to sneak past all the doctors and nurses, but it was night time and there seemed to be less activity going on about the place.

When finally he found her room he stalked in to see another woman was also in the same room as her, asleep and still he disregarded her and moved to the next bed.

Stopping when he saw Hadeel's form Bane slumped into a chair that seemed positioned in front of her bed. She was motionless except for the rising and falling of her chest and the occasional look of pain that crossed her face. Bane looked over every inch of her form, feeling anger and bitterness in his mouth his eyes grew cold.

There was a tube that seemed to be connected to her back that was draining her kidney of urine and blood, it looked odd and alien as the tube went to disappear into her skin. There was a useless needle in her left hand, an I.V that had closed and yet they had not removed the thing from her form, there was another on her right arm that had a tube connected to it.

She looked so brittle and small in the bed; he couldn't help but feel an itch in his throat and a bit of protectiveness in his heart. He was still angry at her, did she not want him to see her in such a state, or did she not consider him worthy to know that she was having surgery in the first place? Her skin looked paler in the dim light that was provided in the room, she looked so sickly that Bane felt the need to steal her away from the hospital and take her with him. Certainly he could take better care of her.

He was so lost in his thoughts he almost didn't notice when her eyes focused weakly on his form, so he asked her exactly what he had been asking himself since he had gotten into the room. Her answer made him remember the conversation they had had in front of her car not two days before, she never told anyone this kind of stuff.

Then she had thanked him, her voice so full of pain and gratitude that he forgot his anger for a few moments and was overwhelmed with the need to take her away from her pain. But he couldn't do that, not yet.

Soon she was asleep again and Bane was walking back down the halls of the hospital, trying to leave behind the feelings that had found him when he was next to her. He didn't want to care about the Little Songbird, and yet all he wanted to do was take her away from the world so she could see that not everyone was the same.

Perhaps he would.

"You smile like you know the new world has been found." -Wake Owl

AN: Now I'm going to get into more Bane/Hadeel goodness, Soon I'm going to have a couple weeks off so I'll write a lot during that time.

What did you think though? Have you ever been in the hospital for surgery?

Thank you for reading.