AN: If you commented about my being in the hospital I thank you. That mean's you read what the authors puts at the top and bottom of the page, which is awesome! I'm doing fine now, so enjoy the chapter.
"On my worst, I'll do my best." -Low Roar
Chapter Seven
With no way to gauge what time of day it was Hadeel was more or less lost when it came to trying to figure out if it was night time, or morning, or afternoon, or anything for that matter. For all she knew it could have only been a few hours since she'd gotten here, and all her thoughts and worries made it seem like much more time had passed, that was probably the case.
If anything Hadeel was starting to feel rather lonely, even in all the mess that was her present life, with being stuck in the sewers and all that goodness, there was still a longing for companionship that she knew would not get filled. Bane seemed to be the only person that would ever come to see her, and at the moment she didn't want to see him at all, because it still hurt, the feeling of betrayal that she couldn't get out of her head. It was a familiar feeling that she had felt many times, and that was why she hated it so much.
Letting her fingers trail haphazardly across the bandage on her shin Hadeel remembered the strong yet gentle touch that Bane had shown her when he was fixing up her bandage. Though she also remembered the way he'd picked her up so abruptly and carried her up the stairs like a child, so forceful, he seemed to have a quick temper. At least when it came to her anyway, did that mean she was aggravating?
Hearing footsteps coming up the stairs Hadeel turned back towards the water rushing to the ground again, showing her back to whomever it was that was coming up the stairs. Recognizing that the steps weren't as heavy as her 'friend' Hadeel waited to see if the man would talk to her or not.
"Bane wants you to eat," he said curtly.
There was a small sound of a metal clink as something was placed on the table near the stairs, Hadeel made no move to turn around, she was hungry, but she didn't feel like eating right now. But she recognized the voice; it was the same man that had chased her down on the street, the man responsible for bringing her here in the first place. When a few steps told Hadeel that the man was leaving she panicked slightly, it had been nice to hear someone else's voice instead of the loneliness that the rushing water brought upon her.
"What's your name?" She asked still not turning around.
Hoping her voice had been loud enough to reach him she closed her eyes tightly when he didn't answer her, was she really going to be just left alone? There was no further sound of the man walking away, but there was no hint that he was talking either, perhaps his voice had gotten lost in the monotonous sound of the water.
"Will you please tell me your name?" She added letting her head drop down a little. She couldn't bear this isolation that she had sitting all by herself on a platform away from any sort of life or distraction. Tempted to let something slip Hadeel almost added that she couldn't stand being alone at the moment, with the dreams still fresh in her mind she felt the need to cling to any sort of human companionship. Even if they were holding a gun and telling her that she couldn't escape.
"Barsad," his voice finally broke the air.
Reacting like she normally would Hadeel began to strike up any sort of conversation that she could, like she did when she was meeting new people and trying to get them to laugh.
"Huh," she scoffed softly. "That's an odd name," she muttered. "Not a bad name," she added feeling like making fun of the man that was probably holding a gun was a bad idea. "Just, different," she finished feeling embarrassment flood across her features.
"So is Hadeel," the man retorted making Hadeel laugh gently.
"I guess you got me there," she said turning to look over her shoulder at him.
Suddenly feeling an urge to argue with the man like she did with her friends Hadeel swallowed the feeling before she said anything regrettable or weird. Barsad looked different in the dim light of the sewers; she could see more features about him as opposed to when he had been chasing her on the street. And she wasn't quite as frightened now that he had already gotten her.
Turning around to leave her Barsad took steps towards the staircase before he heard her speak again.
"Thank you, for telling me your name, Barsad," she said turning back towards the water again.
Making no movement to go towards the food he watched as she slid off the bed and onto the metal grate that was the floor. Partially hidden by the mattress Barsad felt pity for the girl, she was merely a bird in a cage, a distraction for someone who had scissors in their hands. Even if her wings were ready for flight, he would clip them and keep her for himself.
"If you don't eat, he'll get angry," he warned her.
The food on the tray wasn't bad, an apple, a sandwich, some carrots, and a bottle of water. A good meal by any measure, something that a homeless person would devour in seconds and then thank whomever had given it to them gratefully. But Hadeel's stomach churned as the thought of eating.
"I'm not hungry," she said letting her form slump forwards even more.
Barsad gave her one last look before walking down the stairs, he hadn't planned on talking to the girl as much as he had, and he definitely didn't think she was going to ask for his name, but she did. If anything he was wondering when Bane would tire of the girl and he would find her limp form on the bed, but he didn't want to think about that. She was a nice girl, something Bane could easily break, but that didn't seem to be the plan.
Bane was gone for about half the day; Barsad came up to check on Hadeel every other hour, showed her to the bathroom and insisted that she was to eat something, but she had no appetite. It was a very boring half day for her, without anything to do but stare off into space Hadeel found herself thinking about Barsad and Bane. Perhaps if they had different lines of work and they had met upon another occasion their relationship would be different, after all, Hadeel thought Barsad to be a nice man. Bane was another matter, he'd shown her that he was definitely in charge down here, and that he wasn't afraid to use force with her. Granted it had been to help her bandage her leg, but her mind always flashed to the way he carelessly tossed people around and left them lifeless, she would never forget that scene.
She'd tried many things to keep herself occupied, and to make it feel as if she wasn't alone. Reciting monologues and short skits from when she had taken an acting class in high school, letting her voice drown in the sounds of the water. She'd transitioned over to trying to remember poems she had thought were interesting, changing her expressions and the volume of her voice. It'd kept her entertained for a while, though she had caught Barsad slightly off guard as he'd walked up the stairs to check on her and she'd been talking to herself.
He'd simply commented on the fact that she hadn't eaten and warned her that she should before big bad Bane got back. So she'd frowned at him and said that if she ate something her stomach would protest and send a complaint. The comment made him stare at her blandly, as if he'd been expecting such an answer, he then turned and walked back down the stairs.
The last time Barsad came to check on her he was curious when he was met with her back as she looked away from him and at the water that she seemed ever so fond of. The food tray was exactly where he had placed it, but the food was a little differently organized. It looked as though Hadeel had gotten bored enough to rearrange the food on the tray, leaving the sandwich the way it was but placing everything else on top of it she had stacked the apple on first before placing the water bottle on top of that carefully. She'd arranged the carrots in a way that made it look like a design; she's even tried to make a sort of smiley face with them.
Feeling a smile and a frown tug at his lips Barsad turned his attention back to Hadeel, taking a few steps closer he was sure she would say something to him when she heard his footsteps, but she said nothing. Very faintly Barsad could hear a melody wafting through the air around him, resonating slightly through the air he took more steps until he was at the edge of the bed and could hear Hadeel clearly.
He'd heard her sing the night before, Bane had given him a sort of knowing look because he'd doubted that a caged bird would even sing at all. Her voice was soft and though he couldn't hear all of the words to the song she sang it lightened his heart ever so slightly, calming his nerves and making him listen further. A sort of silence fell about the place as her voice rang out through the constant sound of the water; everyone was listening for the Songbird's voice. Little by little he was beginning to understand why Bane would want to hold on to such a person as Hadeel, one would want her song all for themselves.
There was a difference now; between the humming and the singing what she was doing now seemed more mysterious and intriguing. The mellow way in which the sound carried contrasted by the strong low notes she could barely reach, quickly her hum changed to a softer song. It sounded sad compared to the last song she had been humming. Quickly the humming turned into whistling and broke through the soft chatter that always seemed to accompany the men around.
Hadeel didn't notice anything at all, she'd gone into a sort of dreary mood where nothing seemed to matter and she didn't care about anything. At first she thought she'd occupy herself with creating a sculpture out of the food, but that had lasted all of two minutes before she found her stomach growling in anticipation. She still didn't want to eat, she wanted to go home, or perhaps she didn't, but her mind was a mess at the moment and she didn't know what she wanted. Certainly though, she didn't want to eat.
It was when she started wondering about the time again that Barsad had come up unnoticed by her. For some reason she felt that the air had gotten colder so she wrapped herself up in the blankets and faced away from the stairs grumpily. Starting off with humming she began with movie soundtracks that she particularly loved, and that list stretched long so she had a lot to choose from. When a sadder more melancholy song popped into her head she changed to whistling, stretching the notes and letting them fade off she felt herself frown sadly. Clair de Lune was a song she loved, sometimes her mother would brag about how she could play anything on the piano and Hadeel would make her play it. She'd even played Clair de Lune in her high school marching band one year.
Her notes were strong and loud and Hadeel paid them no heed, letting her emotions run wild on her mind she wondered if Bane would ever let her go or if she was to stay down here for however long he wished her to. Would she ever see her family?
"Nice sculpture," a voice broke through her thoughts. She'd about finished whistling the song when Barsad had finally said something, unbeknownst to her he'd already been standing there for a few minutes.
"It's a masterpiece," she joked with a forced chuckle. Barsad wouldn't care that she was sad, he would probably think it normal for anyone who had gotten kidnapped, and it was pretty normal anyway. But Hadeel went back to her habit of hiding things from people; he would probably just tell her that she needed to eat something before walking off again. "I should eat something right?" she questioned in a bitter voice.
"Yes," he responded without response to her tone. "He will be back soon," he explained.
"You've taken me away from my home, away from the rest of the world, what else are you going to do with me?" She mumbled under her breath sullenly. There was nothing to do up in her little cage but think, to wonder about the reason behind Bane taking her in the first place, and to dwell on all of her ill feelings. She'd had enough of being alone, even reaching out to her kidnappers seemed like a good idea at the moment, not that she despised them or anything, but they weren't exactly friends.
"Pardon?" Barsad said hearing her voice but not her words.
"I'm sorry," she murmured loud enough for him to hear. Turning to look back at him Barsad noted the way her eyes fell on his before looking away rather quickly, as if she was shy or ashamed. "I'm a terrible hostage," she chuckled feeling that her comment was ironic. Why should a hostage ever feel and voice the fact that they were awful, normally they wouldn't give a rip and just scream at their captors to take them home.
"You are," he said shortly.
A smile spread across his face when Hadeel looked at him with an angry baffled look on her face, he wasn't supposed to agree with her he was supposed to-. Well she wasn't quite sure how she had been expecting him to respond, but certainly she hadn't expected him to play along.
"Enjoy your food," he said dropping the smile and turning to leave her.
"Barsad!" Hadeel's voice seemed urgent to his ears.
Turning to look at her he eyed her expressions carefully, as if he was studying a target or trying to pick out lies. Her face showed clear emotion at first, hesitation, sadness, worry, and finally determination. He had to admire the way her face showed such clear emotion to what she was feeling, and her facial expressions were always something to marvel at.
"Yes?" He questioned when she did not speak further.
"How long do you think I'll be here?" Her eyes searched until they were locked with his own. Barsad stared her down until she looked away nervously; perhaps she thought she'd just asked a forbidden question.
Hadeel looked away from Barsad with a jerky motion, realizing that she might not like the answer that he was going to give her, maybe they were going to keep her here forever. Of course she doubted that was the case, Bane and Barsad would definitely tire of her if she was always around, wouldn't they? Would she see sunlight again? How pale would her skin get if she never went outside again? She'd probably look like an alien after a few years.
"You'll have to ask Bane," Barsad responded calmly. "Maybe if you eat your food he'll answer you," he muttered before turning around and walking down the stairs.
Hadeel grumbled and scoffed at his retreating form, why was it so important that she ate? When she was in the hospital she went at least three day without eating anything, and she'd been fine! Save for the fact that she couldn't really walk, felt faint when she tried to stand, and had the urge to vomit when she did try to eat. The point is that she could not eat one meal and it wouldn't kill her, or even cause her serious stomach growling or anything of the latter.
Grumpily letting her face fall back onto the mattress Hadeel grabbed her thin blankets and made a sort of cocoon around herself before she felt a little squeezed for air and flailed around until she was free of her constraints. She couldn't sleep anymore, she'd been trying all day since Bane had been gone to simply sleep the time away, but sleep would not welcome her.
Sitting up suddenly Hadeel got a more mischievous idea in her head. If she walked down the stairs would Barsad be waiting at the bottom like Bane had the night before? Was he guarding her or did he merely walk around after checking up on her only making sure that no one else went near the staircase? If he was then Hadeel would simply turn back around and go back up the stairs, but if he wasn't, she could explore. She had always been too afraid to explore the sewers by herself, to walk in without knowing if there was some creepy hobo waiting to kill her. But since she was already here, exploring would be a lot less daunting, minus the guys walking around with guns that is.
Carefully pulling herself to the side of the bed Hadeel reveled at the feeling of cold metal beneath her feet; even if it was a grated surface and she would hate it later it felt nice for the moment. Taking slow steps towards the stairs she made sure that her footsteps made no sound against the steps that led below. Passing through the darker part of the stairway she sighed with relief when Barsad was not waiting next to the stairs or was even anywhere near it for that matter. This meant that she could at least explore for a little bit.
Taking a few steps past the entrance to the stairs Hadeel turned her head when she heard voices approaching her, waiting for Barsad to show up around the corner she wondered if she could make it any farther and hide from him. Only when the voices finally turned the corner did Hadeel see Bane's hulking form stop short when he saw her staring at them, Barsad followed his eyes and more or less glowered at Hadeel.
Making an odd expression, with wide eyes and an almost silly looked frown Hadeel felt as if she was a child that had just been caught sneaking out of bed at night. She hadn't even considered the fact that Bane would come back as soon as she had gotten down the stairs, it hadn't even registered that it could happen. Feeling very much embarrassed there was nothing she could do now but turn back the way she had came, especially since Bane seemed to be a little ticked off at something. His hard powerful eyes weighed down on her like her younger sister did when she had been a little heavier and wanted a piggy back ride.
"I'll just," she started off softly with a slow voice. "Go back up the stairs," pausing slightly after each word she watched the two of them stare at her. Without any further words she let her frown deepen before she turned around and rushed back up the stairs, making a great deal of noise that was muffled by the rush of the water.
Jumping on the bed when she reached her own little lair she snatched up the blanket and wrapped it around herself before retreating to the side of the bed. She sat on the grate on the opposite side of the stairs that was hidden partially by the mattress, making sure that her back was covered by the blanket as well as her head. She probably looked like some weird sort of marshmallow child.
It seemed like ages before Hadeel could hear the thunderous steps that belonged to Bane coming up the passage of the stairs, she had been waiting for him ever since she'd turned into a marshmallow child. When his steps stopped and she could hear him breathing but a few feet away she tensed and pulled the blanket around her tighter.
"You have a question for me," he stated firmly.
Barsad had told him what had happened with Hadeel, how she wouldn't eat anything and that she had a question for him, something that only he could answer. Barsad had mentioned that if Bane didn't mention the fact that she had had a question she might not ask it again, and Bane had to agree, he knew that was how Hadeel was.
Hadeel was a little peeved at the fact that Barsad had told Bane about it, and that he more demanded an answer from her then even asked if she had a question in the first place. Maybe she didn't want to ask him and that was why she had asked Barsad in the first place!
"Maybe," she finally responded to him.
It was silent for a while after that, both of them waiting on the other person to say something Hadeel almost jumped when Bane finally sighed and she felt the bed move slightly. He'd sat down apparently.
"I can wait here all night, little Songbird," he said making Hadeel frown beneath her blanket cloak.
"Is it night time?" She questioned feeling a bit of excitement rush in her when she finally was told what time of day it was. A second later she caught herself and strangled her excitement before she let it show in her words and tone of voice. "I wouldn't know," she let her voice get a bit edgy.
"You haven't eaten anything, aren't you hungry?" His voice almost chilled her skin; she'd been expecting that question.
"No," she replied shortly. Pulling her knees to her chest Hadeel let her response cut the air in half, an icy reply that neither of them had been expecting.
"You need to eat something little Songbird," he pushed her with his voice.
"I won't," she said bitterly before letting her head rest on her knee.
Hearing a shift in the mattress Hadeel barely had time to blink before she was pulled off of the ground and onto the mattress forcefully, the blankets was yanked off her form before she felt hands pin her flailing wrists down to the bed. Angry eyes stared down at her when she looked up at Bane with a bit of shock and fear, turning away from his gaze she looked at the wall. His heavy form over hers made her remember all the movies and T.V. shows where this might have been something that someone wanted, because it would mean something different. Perhaps it would mean that they cared for the person trapped beneath and wanted to look them in the eyes, but with Bane it just felt different
"Hadeel," his voice was cold and stern.
Hadeel had to think back to all the times they had met and talked, had he ever called her Hadeel? It was always little Songbird, little Songbird, the nickname that she'd earned for her voice and for other reasons that Bane had not made clear. She couldn't remember him ever saying her real name, not like this. It was dark and threatening the way he spoke her name and Hadeel felt like she was a tyke again and her parents were using her whole name to show her how angry they were with her.
"Look at me," his voice demanded her eyes.
Stalling for as long as she could Hadeel felt the grip on her wrists tighten painfully before she finally looked back up at him. Glaring at him defiantly she kept a stern expression on her face, even if she was frightened and felt increasingly vulnerable she wouldn't let it show on her face.
"How long are you going to keep me here?" She finally let the question slip past her lips.
There was only one reason why Hadeel didn't want to ask Bane any questions, or to be asked any in return for that matter, and that was because he always seemed to shake everything she stood on. The words she told herself at night to keep her going the next day, the lies she hid behind, all the fake smiles, and all the happiness. She'd perfected the image that she carried around with her every day, and very scarcely did she let something, some kind of raw emotion, slip past her carefully constructed prison and into the real world. Because by now she knew that the world was not kind, even when she thought she was safe, that her emotions and feelings would be sheltered and cared for, they weren't.
Then there was Bane and the way he was forceful with her, and not just with his words but the way he handled her, the fear seemed to elicit truth from her heart succeeding where others had failed. He quite simply walked past all her fakeness and pointed out when she was trying to trick him into thinking she was okay. He would take strong steps until he was at the end of her false emotions and she was the only thing left, hiding in the corner away from the light, she would cower from him.
"You want to go home?" He asked her dully.
For a moment Hadeel was a little bit shocked by his dry tone, keeping her gaze with him she let something new burst into her expression, something powerfully different. Pushing against his grip on her wrists she set her jaw tightly, grinding her teeth together before answering.
"Yes," she bit out at him.
He watched her with a bit of amusement in his eyes for a moment before he loosened his grip, but still he made no move to get off her, there was still a question that he wanted her to answer. And he wanted the truth.
"Do you think they miss you?" He asked coldly. Relishing in the stiff expression on Hadeel's face he watched as her face contorted briefly before she turned away from him and closed her eyes tightly before opening them again.
"Of course," she spat out bitterly.
With an icy chill Hadeel's mind went against her tongue, repeating the question in her mind and answering with a hateful and fearful tinge. Would they miss her if she never came back? Would they? Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. No. She wanted to believe with all her heart that her parents and her sisters and her brothers would wait for her to return and cry when they learned what had happened, but she couldn't imagine it.
A couple times during her short lifespan Hadeel had gone missing, not really missing, just out and about without telling anyone, or because she did tell someone and they forgot. The first time she was a ref for a soccer game, and the coaches were relentless with their insults at her, the parents joined in and the game got a little crazy. The park she was at was only about a ten minute walk from her house, she had another game to ref but she left early, because she felt worthless. She couldn't even ref a simple soccer game, everyone had been so angry at her.
She went missing for about five hours.
Right away when she got home her sister was there, seemingly unaffected except for a relieved sigh that she tried to hide, when her parents got home they were angry with her, saying that they had gotten the police. That they were so scared that she was gone forever. It was the first time she'd seen her father cry. The second time she went missing she had been trying on a uniform for her high school marching band, she'd told her mother that she would be done at five, and to come pick her up early, because Hadeel's mother is always late. At seven o'clock she began to walk home by herself, uniform in one hand, saxophone in the other, backpack, and textbooks. When she got home her mother asked if one of her friends had taken her home, she'd forgotten about Hadeel completely. No tears shed, nothing changed, nothing happened, just a lonely, and very heartbroken Hadeel walked to her room with sore feet. Because her mother had forgotten her.
With Bane's question came pain and anger, she couldn't answer him truthfully for she was afraid of what her answer might be.
"Will they?" He pushed her further when he saw that her defiant emotions were beginning to crumble around her.
"Maybe," she mumbled out sadly.
"Will they truly miss you Hadeel?" He used her name again, making her close her eyes tightly.
"Stop it," she grumbled at him angrily. Opening her eyes in a sudden rage she glared up at Bane with a hateful expression on her face. Why did he always think he could pull the truth away from her lips, once couldn't just expect to get everything from everyone, just because he was huge and made of muscle didn't mean he was king of the world.
She'd found her answer already, seconds after he'd asked her she knew what her answer was, for it reminded her of her grandfather. When he'd passed away her family was so overcome with sadness that they cried and drove off into the night for their sadness could not be contained or sated. They went to his funeral and wept, remembering all the memories and smiles they had shared the years before, all the happiness. For a few months they would recall him and frown, their eyes welling up with tears and sadness would spoil their day. And then a year went by, and they could smile again, and laugh without having to frown in sadness, because they did not think of dear old grandpa anymore. He was gone, and everyone forgot about him and moved on.
Eventually, they would forget about her too.
Feeling the weight on her arms loosen Hadeel watched as Bane got off her and stood with his back to her. Sitting up shakily Hadeel grabbed at the blanket as if she were freezing; wrapping it around herself she sat with her back to him as well, happy that she was finally free of her restraints.
"Eat your food," he said before taking steps away from her.
Glaring at his retreating form Hadeel clenched her teeth bitterly before she sorted her thoughts out in a mad rush, finally snapping beneath all the pressure of keeping her emotions contained.
"At first they'd mourn me," she snapped coldly. Watching as Bane stopped walking and turned slowly to look her in the eyes, challenging her with his gaze. She held against his eyes, feeling the strength and power of his stare on her fueled her anger and made her continue further. "They'd cry out to the heavens, and ask God if he's taken me home," her voice rose considerably with her vigor.
Bane looked at her a little shocked, baffled even. He'd seen the girl a little frustrated and irritated before, but never had he seen her show such emotion as this. Such a raw anger, truthful words she shouted at him with something that was unique to her own person. An edge to her voice, something secret and hidden, Bane could feel the painful brokenness of the edge on her voice, as if it wounded her to say such things.
"But after a year or so," her voice got a little softer at this point. "They'll forget about me," she spoke. There was an iciness in her voice that made Bane almost shiver with anticipation, if he pushed her further than he already had, would he get more responses like this?
For a moment they shared a bit of silence, Bane stared at Hadeel with an expression that said he'd just discovered something secret, while Hadeel's own expression was a bitter frown of hatred. Her own confession made her angry, not that it bothered her to say such things, it was the simple fact that she was saying it to someone. Especially someone who often took to using force to get answers out of her.
"Thank you for your honesty," Bane said before walking down the stairs at a steady pace.
"You're not welcome," she murmured watching his retreating back.
Huffing at his absence Hadeel threw herself face first into the mattress, making the thin sheets rise slightly before coming to a lifeless rest. Growling darkly at herself, but mostly at Bane, she thought about her own answer. One line in particular seemed to haunt her thoughts more than the rest of them, seeming to resonate throughout her thoughts, it saddened her deeply to imagine such a thing happening.
'They'd cry out to God in the heavens, and ask if he's taken me home.'
When Hadeel was younger she'd seen a snippet of a movie, she'd never learned the name of it or would've even remembered it for that matter. The only scene that was stuck in her mind was one that happened near the end of the movie, it might have even been the ending of the movie. There was a little girl in the movie that had been the main characters younger sister; she followed her sister when she ran away into the woods. There was a river with a small bridge to cross over it, the little girl fell in the river and drowned, and the older sister blamed herself. The only other part Hadeel remembered was when she finally broke down after her sister's funeral; she'd fallen to her knees and screamed at the blue sky above her. Asking God why he had taken her little sister from, yelling in agony she cried out and cursed God, pleading with the heavens to treat her like a princess, for it was the least they could do.
Hadeel could only imagine her parents looking up at the sky and asking God if she was home, if he had finally opened his arms and taken her back. And yet at the same time she could imagine them not caring at all, and perhaps this thought was the most painful of all. For if one of them died surely she would yell at God, and ask him why he had torn someone away from her life, she would cry out to him, wouldn't she?
Finally letting out a deep sigh she clutched a pillow to her tightly, when was the last time that she'd lost her nerve so completely like that? It'd been a long time to say the least, and somehow it felt good, like a small weight had been lifted off her shoulders. Perhaps she'd made her quota for expressing her feelings for that month, a silly thought. A smile graced her lips faintly while thinking about how it would actually be if she had such quotas like that.
Sitting up slowly Hadeel scratched at her neck irritably, already it seemed scratchy and sore from suddenly shouting at Bane. A curious thought struck through her when she wondered how her voice would sound if it was raspy when she tried to sing, would it sound cool?
"There's a shadow in the door-frame," she tested out the first line of a random song.
She'd found it by chance on the internet and had only been able to memorize half of it, but she loved it because it told a story that could have hundreds of different meanings. Though the title of the song was Untitled and Hadeel had tried many times to give it her own title she was still unsuccessful, there was too much to name.
"With a hunger for the highway. The poison from a bee sting. The mirrors on the ceiling," she marveled at the slight rasp in her voice.
It was odd compared to her usual tone, but somehow with the song it felt right. With this feeling rushing through her Hadeel's voice grew stronger and louder, just as it had been when she was shouting at Bane. Suddenly feeling a bit more of the same anger washing over her she could feel the roughness in her throat that had not bothered her moments before, it ached slightly. But she pushed past it, wanting to finish the song before her voice completely gave up on her.
"The thunder and the lightning. The hibernating voice sings out, and I shake the hand of the seamstress. Pinning up the clouds like patches, a little bit blue around the edges." Her voice seemed to get hoarse as she continued to sing, and Hadeel knew that the next time she woke up she wouldn't much like the feeling of swallowing.
But it didn't matter, as long as she was singing everything was fine. Perhaps the only thing that Hadeel felt was at all appealing about herself was her singing voice, of course that opinion was only valid when she was singing alone. She'd imagine that other people liked it as well, that perhaps she'd write a song and somehow everyone would suddenly know her name, but that was just a folly fantasy.
Whatever it was, possibly the mere sound of her voice to her own ears reminded her of singing alone in her room, where she knew that she was safe because she was alone and she could lock the door. As long as she could sing, she could smile and pretend that everything was okay. Maybe she really was a Songbird.
030
Bane listened intently to Hadeel's voice, so soft and wispy and yet so confident; he could barely hear it through the sound of the water. She sounded lucid, the tone in which she sang, the rasp her song usually didn't carry, it was a different way for her to sing, and Bane liked it all the more. He wondered faintly if when she was sad would her voice sound broken and edgy, if she was happy would it sound as clear as the night sky, and if she was serene would it lull him to sleep?
Everything, he wanted to hear all her voices and see all her emotions and expressions, slowly he was beginning to break through the face that she showed everyone, the mask that she always wore. Little by little he was beginning to break away at it; perhaps today he had taken off a slightly larger chunk than usual. She had shouted at him, if it was anyone else he would've been angry and irritated. But it was his Songbird.
All he cared about was the truth she was speaking, the honesty on her tongue and in her heart, and the way her voice had sounded as she spoke. For it had been ever so strong and clear.
"To make it seem, like I am happy."-Low Roar
AN: I had written something completely different for the last thousand words of this chapter, ended up erasing it, which was saddening, but it had to be done.
Anyway, what did you think?
The song Hadeel sings in this chapter is called Untitled by Sea Oleena, really melancholy, if that's what you like.
Oh, I'm also wondering if anyone recognizes any of the bands I mention, or if perhaps I'm the only one that listens to this music...
Thanks for reading!