CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

The healer told Myra she could leave today, so by the Dread Wolf, she was getting out of the infirmary. Cassandra helped her get off her bed and gather her things. She had heard about Myra's release from Fennec and insisted on helping her return to work.

"Really, Inquisitor, you should let me help," Cassandra said, taking a stack of books from her.

"I'm not a fragile doll, Cass," Myra said. "The least you can do is not treat me like one."

"I found your belt," Fennec said, handing it to Myra.

"Thank you, darling," Myra said. She gathered more things: Fennec's doll, her armor, her staff… "Cass, I've been stuck in a cot for the past week. I need to do something—"

Cassandra slapped a hand to her mouth, staring over Myra's shoulder. Confused, Myra followed her gaze, turning around only to find Commander Cullen hiding his face behind a bouquet.

"Erm, I guess you won't need these for your bedside…" he murmured.

"Nonsense!" Cassandra called. She grabbed the bouquet from Cullen's hands and shoved them into Myra's grasp. "I will leave the two of you alone. Inquisitor, do you want these in your quarters?"

"You don't have to—"

"Thank you, Cassandra," Cullen said. He took the doll from Myra's grasp and gave it to Fennec. "Why don't you put this away?" he said.

"Okay, are you gonna kiss?" Fennec asked.

Cullen stuttered a laugh. "Yes, I mean—"

"Only if the Commander wants to," Myra said.

"You're gonna kiss," Fennec said, running out the door with her doll.

Myra and Cullen flushed a bit, then followed her to the battlements. Fennec chased the birds while Cullen led Myra to their usual spot on the battlements.

"You know," Cullen began. "I had prepared everything I had wanted to tell you, and quite honestly, I can't remember a damn word of it."

"Take your time," Myra said, still admiring the bouquet. "And don't worry if it doesn't come out quite right."

"I appreciate it." Cullen took a deep breath. "The kiss…"

Myra stammered. "I'm sorry, I—"

"…was nice."

"…oh."

"What did you think I was going to say?" Cullen asked.

"That it was a mistake," Myra murmured.

"Why would I ever say such a thing? It was…wonderful. Everything I could have hoped for." Cullen cleared his throat.

"So you have had feelings for me," Myra smirked.

"Of course I have. Do you have any idea who you are?" Cullen scooted closer to her. "Beautiful, kind, playful, modest…and those eyes…" Cullen turned her head towards him and stared deeply. "I love looking into them."

Myra giggled, then took a sharp breath.

"Are you alright?"

"Stitches."

Myra saw Cullen's figure tense.

"I'm still angry he did this to you," Cullen said.

Myra shook her head. "I did this to myself."

A scout approached them.

"I appreciate the sentiment though," Myra said.

The scout reached them and saluted. "Inquisitor, welcome back."

"It's good to be back."

The scout turned to the Commander. "Ser, Officer Rensworth wishes to speak to you."

"Dismissed."

The scout left.

Cullen sighed. "Duty never ends."

Myra rolled her eyes. "No, I'm sure I have a stack of reports waiting on my desk." She pushed off the wall of the battlements to navigate back to her quarters, but Cullen held her fast.

"We told Fennec we'd kiss," he said, smirking.

Myra grinned and let him reel her in. She pressed herself into his chest, gripping the fur lining of his jacket as she kissed him. When she broke away, Cullen was flushing bright red.

"That doesn't feel like a lead tongue," Myra said, winking. She tried to squirm away but he pulled her back to him and held her tight in his grasp. He kissed her deeply, delving his tongue between her lips. Myra moaned into the kiss, the bouquet slipping from her hands.

Cullen broke away, catching the bouquet and placing it back in her hands. "Try not to overwork yourself. It's only your first day back."

Myra smirked. "Duty never ends."

He smirked and pulled her in once more.

When Myra reached her bedroom, the first thing she noticed was a note from Josephine on the door.

Get well soon, Inquisitor.

Remember your allies.

With love,

Josephine

Smiling, she opened the door, only for her jaw to drop.

Scattered about the room lay enough bouquets to fill the room's perimeter and cover her bed. Scanning the tags, Myra found notes from Inquisition members and allies, all wishing her health, strength, and happiness. She also found a note from Leliana.

I am holding your reports.

Please see me.

-Leliana

Sighing, she put down the note. She drew a bath and laid out some fresh clothes. After dressing herself, she headed to Skyhold's aviary.

"Inquisitor," Leliana beckoned her forward. "It is a relief to see you."

"It's a relief to be out of bed." Myra said. "I saw your note. May I have my reports?"

"Of course." She grabbed a stack of them and handed them to her. "There's a number of them, but we tried to be brief."

"Any updates?"

"It's all in the reports. How are you feeling?"

"A little worse for wear, if I'm to be honest."

Leliana frowned. "May I ask what happened?"

"You don't know?" Myra asked.

"I've heard things."

"What have you heard?"

Leliana sighed. She poured herself a glass of wine. "You and Solas left together to a location outside of Skyhold, then returned separately. Both of you looked distressed. That night, you slept in separate beds. Judging by what ensued, I assumed you'd broken up."

"You would be correct."

Leliana stopped pouring her glass and set the wine bottle on the table.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," Leliana said. "I know you two were close."

"Thank you, Leliana," Myra said.

Leliana reached out and touched her arm. "Do you need anything?"

"I don't know. It hit a soft spot."

"Let me know," Leliana said.

"Thank you."

Myra took the reports to the tavern. The bar quieted a little when she walked in, then filled with whispers as she began working on her reports. Iron Bull slammed his tankard on her table.

"Hi, boss," he said, taking a seat. Krem grabbed a seat as well. "What Solas did makes my blood boil. I'm glad Cullen beat the shit outta him."

"Yeah," Myra said, rifling through her reports.

"What are those?" Bull asked.

"Reports," Myra said.

Bull shrugged. "Good luck." He went back to his usual spot, keeping an eye on her.

"I'm not really good with the whole feelings thing," Krem said. He awkwardly patted her hand and left.

Myra had gotten through two reports when Sera came.

"C'mon, Inquisitor, you've been stuck in bed for a week. Let's throw some pies at people or something."

Myra did not look up at her. "I can't right now, Sera, I'm busy."

"You can be busy later. C'mon."

"No, Sera," Myra snapped. "Can't you see I'm working?"

Sera frowned. "Fine then. Piss off." She headed upstairs.

"Can I buy you a pint?" Varric asked as he took a seat.

"Yes please," Myra said.

Varric didn't talk much to her, letting her work. Myra appreciated that.

Blackwall came to check in with her next. Varric bought him a pint too. They helped Myra wrap her head around some of the reports. Neither of them pried.

After she had made some headway, Dorian came in and bought them all some Antivan Sip-Sip to share.

"Madame Vivienne sends her best wishes, by the way," Dorian said, pouring her a shot, "and she wants tea later."

"Of course she does," Myra groaned. "If she wants me to talk, she should just spike my tea."

Blackwall left, leaving her with Varric and Dorian. They convinced her to take a break for a game of Wicked Grace. Varric won the bottle of Antivan Sip-Sip, but gave it back to Dorian.

About half-way through the bottle, Varric left. Dorian kept her company for a time, but eventually, he left too.

It was then Myra sensed a presence behind her.

"Don't," she said.

Myra could feel the hand at the back of her head before it touched her. After a few moments, Cole appeared and sat across from her.

"But it hurts," Cole said, "and I want to make it better." He fumbled nervously with his fingers, as if itching to heal her broken heart. "I want to help, and forgetting will help."

"No, Cole," she said. "I need it to hurt, I need to remember."

"Shards of broken paint bottles, splinters of a wooden pipe, razor sharp arrows, all cutting your heart. With each beat, it bleeds a little more. Let me help."

"You are helping."

Cole paused his finger-fumbling for a moment to tilt his head, like a puppy. "You want me to talk because you feel alone, but there are people all around. I don't understand."

"Do you hear them whisper, Cole? They don't think of me as a person. Even our friends are guilty of that." Myra pleaded with her eyes. "I need you to see me as I am."

Cole shook his head. "But you don't let people see."

Myra sat back and groaned.

"You huff because you know it's true. You always had to be the strong one, the person everyone looked up to. You couldn't be weak, and now that you showed your weakness, you're scared of what people think, so now when you put on your armor you tie it to you tighter than usual." Cole said nothing for a while and Myra did not reply.

Finally, after what felt like eons of silence, he spoke again. "He didn't want to hurt you."

Myra's expression soured. "Who's side are you on anyways?"

"He wanted to tell you, but he loved you too much. Dirtha'lath, lasa revas. (If you know love, give it freedom.) "

"Dirtha'lath, ghilas virlathan. (If you know love, follow the path of the heart.) Lasa vhenan. (Give your heart.)"

"What you had is not diminished by its end. You are not just the lost orphan you once were, clutching at the Keeper's robes to hold onto something, anything. You are orphan, First, Inquisitor, confidant, friend, and vhenan." Cole's eyes welled up. "You don't believe me. Why don't you believe me?"

"Because if I were all of those things, he…"

"He is not you. You are you. They see you as a beacon and I see you as a friend." Cole was suddenly behind her, hugging her from behind. "You are you and that is good to be, and so many people are happy you are here. Please don't be sad."

"I'll try not to be."

"I thought I told you not to overwork yourself."

Myra shot up from her reports. Judging by her mind's haze and the darkness of the hour, she could only assume she'd fallen asleep.

Myra smirked at him as he sat down. "I was never good at following orders."

Cullen scoffed.

He ordered a pint of ale. "Cassandra's looking for you."

"Everyone is."

"They care about you."

"If their care could translate to progress through all these reports…"

Cullen chuckles. "Fair enough."

Myra sighed and began flipping through the papers once more. She started piling them in her finished stack.

"Seem you've made some headway," Cullen said.

"That's what happens when you spend the entire day working."

The waitress came with his ale. He took a gulp.

"Your endurance is phenomenal," he said.

"Yes, I've been told I possess 'indomitable focus.'" Myra frowned.

"What's wrong?"

"Sorry, something he once said."

Cullen rolled his eyes. "Sounds like him."

"…So, you're the reason behind the bruises?"

"Who told—?"

"Iron Bull. Answer my question."

Cullen rubbed the back of his neck embarrassedly. "Ah, yes…"

Myra smirked a bit. "Thank you."

Cullen flushed a bit. "You're, erm, welcome."

As the night carried on, Varric rallied everyone together for a game of Wicked Grace. And as Myra laughed along with them over the rest of that bottle of Antivan Sip-Sip, she pondered Cole's words.

Maybe people did genuinely care about her, and maybe they could help her through her hardship after all.