AN: It took a little while this time again, and again I'm sorry. My friend's dad died, so it's been a little hard to want to write something. I still need to comfort her and make her smile. Anyway, enjoy the chapter..
"All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn our faces. Bright and early for their daily races, going nowhere, going nowhere." -Tears for Fears
Chapter Ten
Hadeel got ready for school slowly, thinking about everything that had happened to her and how she was back at home so suddenly. She couldn't quite wrap her mind around the idea of going to school after everything she had been through the past few days, for now as she thought about school it seemed rather trivial. Compared to her other thoughts and worries school was in the back of her mind while Bane, Barsad, and everything else were bombarding her thought process like a hurricane.
She wondered what Bane was doing right now. Why had he let her come home after he'd been so resistant to answering her question in the first place? Was he going to show up after school today? Why was he always so mysterious? Why didn't she know anything about him? Why did he kill people? Why? Why? Why?
Even if she asked him these questions Hadeel had a hunch that that he would not answer her, and he'd probably just turn the question around on her and ask her something personal about her past or something. Then when she didn't answer he'd threaten her until she did and he was satisfied with how she answered, that was probably how it would go.
Realizing half way through getting ready that her car should still be in town Hadeel went to the kitchen to ask her sister about it.
Margo simply explained that her car had been in the parking lot since the first night, which was why they had thought that she was home, even though they didn't see her or hear from her for one day her car finalized her existence in the house. Hadeel felt her stomach churn when Margo pulled her green army bag from the couch saying that the keys were inside just like always. The same bag that had fallen with a dull thump on lifeless bodies lying on the floor, Hadeel might have felt the urge to vomit if she had eaten anything in the days previous.
With that thought of food still fresh on her mind Margo turned off the stove and walked away with a couple pancakes on her plate, the smell made Hadeel's stomach growl at her angrily. It was always better to start off with something small but Hadeel couldn't help herself and ate two pancakes, a banana, and had a glass of juice before she felt full. She'd almost gone for an apple when she remembered that Bane had wanted her to eat an apple, suddenly the sound of the waterfall clouded her mind. The constant sound had been somewhat of a soothing thing for her at first, but later only reminded her that she had been here for who knew how many days; the waterfall seemed to flood her mind.
Something on the T.V show Margo was watching exploded and brought Hadeel back to present time, reminding her that she was home now, that the waterfall shouldn't bug her anymore. She finished getting ready for school in silence, stopping when her head throbbed slightly or when she had trouble with the bandages on her hands.
It was almost surreal for Hadeel, pulling up into the parking lot at school, she had first met Bane at school, except it had been raining and it was night time, she hadn't even seen the mask on his face before she promised she would make it up to him somehow. It felt like that had been years and years ago when it had only been a month or less, so much had happened to her already that it felt like everything besides it was a dream. There was no way that she was really going back to school so easily without Bane watching her, that she had eaten breakfast this morning without Bane staring at her, for some reason it felt fake. When would Bane come back to get her? Was her watching her right now?
Her fist class was almost empty except for the teacher and about four other students including Hadeel's friend. Everyone must have been really freaked out by the stock exchange event; since all the other schools were closed they probably expected this one to be as well. The teacher looked around at everyone quizzically, staring at them for a few seconds before moving on to the next person.
"I just want to thank you guys," he said picking up his apple and biting into it. "You came to school on such a beautiful day. If you hadn't come today I wouldn't have held it against you, but here you are. Even Hadeel came to school and she looks messed up, let's learn something today," he said excitedly with a bit of apple in his mouth. It certainly drew all of the four student's attention on her, with her head, hands, and leg bandaged she was certainly a sight to look at.
"What happened to you?" Her friend asked in a whisper next to her. Had she not noticed when Hadeel had walked in that she looked like this? Even though she was wearing sweatpants to cover her leg injury the other two were very much visible, plus there was a limp in her gait. Hadeel had to laugh at herself, wasn't it obvious enough?
"Fell down the stairs," she explained with a small chuckle. Barsad's stupid lie definitely wouldn't fool her friend would it? Certainly this was more than just a trip down the stairs, her hands were bandaged as well, why would someone hands be bandaged if they fell down the stairs?
Tell me I'm lying.
Hadeel begged her friend from inside her head, she wanted her to say that there was no way that falling down the stairs would do this to her. She wanted to tell someone what had happened, where she had been, what she had seen. She just wanted her friend to say something about how fishy and fake that sounded, how the lie was too simple that something else must've happened. Be like Bane; tell her she's a liar.
"Oh, that sucks," her friend said with a frown before looking at the board for a second.
Slumping in her chair Hadeel felt like she was about to cry, she had forgotten that this was the same place that she had created for herself. She'd wrapped herself around friends that didn't care for her wellbeing as long as it didn't affect them directly; friends that she knew didn't really listen to her and were only there for entertainment. This was the world that she had created for herself, this was what she had wanted, but something had changed.
"Yeah," Hadeel said simply feeling her hands twinge when she tried to hold a pencil. That would be problematic for her the rest of the day.
When she went to her next class there was a sign on the door, CANCELLED, it read in capital bold red letters, as if the word was screaming bloody murder at her. Perhaps there was someone she knew at the food court whom she could hang out with for a few hours until her next class. There were only three people sitting in the whole area of the food court, one of them seemed content with being off to the side alone, perhaps a teacher or something. The other two were people Hadeel knew, one of her kind of friends from her next class and the glasses dude that always sits with the playing card people.
"Hi Hadeel," the girl from her class said with a smile on her face. The smile dimmed slightly when she got a good look at how Hadeel currently looked and carried herself. "What happened to you?" She questioned emphasizing the last word.
"The stairs attacked me," she joked placing her bag on the ground before taking a seat at the table.
"You fell down the stairs?" She asked with a small laugh edging into her voice. Hadeel nodded glumly before glancing at glasses guy to see that he was staring at her, she turned away quickly before flashing a smile at her kind of friend. "How'd you manage that?" she continued.
"I don't exactly remember," Hadeel said going up to scratch the bandage on her forehead. It was proving to be the most irritable.
"What did you do to your hands?" Glasses asked. Hadeel turned her attention on him to see that he was staring at the bandaged on her hands, no one had asked her about her hands yet, granted she had only been in one class but no one questioned how she had cut her hands falling down the stairs.
"I just," Hadeel started off shakily. She was unsure of what to say, that she didn't remember? Someone had finally asked her how she had managed to injure her hands and she was just going to lie about it again? "Tried to grab something and it sliced me," she muttered with a playful frown. This wasn't really a lie at all, she had been holding onto the ladder while it dug into her skin and cut her hands up. She just left out the part about being kidnapped and trying to runaway before falling into a river and almost dying.
"Hmm," he nodded his head gently before glancing away from her.
"Hey guys," a voice called out to them warily. Hadeel looked over to see another one of her friends, he was pretty much friends with everyone, the only bad part was that he was a chatterbox and once you got him talking it was hard to shut him up. He stopped short when he saw that Hadeel had bandages all over, but before he could ask anything she answered his question.
"Fell down the stairs," she muttered with a grim smile.
"Sucks for you, but I'm happy it wasn't me," he laughed before sitting down at the table as well.
Hadeel smiled at him playfully, thinking about how big of a jerk he was and wondering why she was even friends with him in the first place.
"When I was in the army," glasses started to say something before chatterbox could even start. He gave the massive talker a stern gaze to make him shut up while he told his story. "I was overseas with my buddy from high school, he was a real goofball," he said solemnly.
Hadeel noticed that as he started talking about his friend his eyes glazed over slightly, and his voice adopted a more distant tone. It reminded Hadeel of how she felt when she recalled past events that had happened to her and harmed her so that whenever she recalled them it shook her whole form. Something bad had happened to this man in the army, Hadeel was sure of it.
"We were trying to take over a house with a family being held hostage inside. My buddy and I were poorly hidden behind some boxes, or whatever the hell it was," his voice got colder as he continued talking. "There was a sniper on the roof that we didn't know about, and in a split second he got shot in the head," he muttered.
Our table was silent; even the teacher sitting off by themselves seemed to listening to his story, Hadeel could see the whole scene playing out in her head, the sound of the gunshot as it tore through his head. The story made her deeply uncomfortable as she recalled the bodies at the stock exchange, her breathing got deeper and heavier as she tried to block the images from her mind. Looking up she saw that glasses was staring at her sternly, watching as her expression twisted and warped until she fixed it to emotionless again.
"My very first thought was, good thing it wasn't me, and I have regretted saying that every day I wake up and every day I go to sleep. It was the first thing that entered my mind," he murmured letting his voice drag off at the end.
Hadeel had heard that phrase many times directed at her, with kidney stones, broken bones, and a long list of accidents under her belt people were always happy when they saw how bad their day could have been when they looked at her. Some people boasted a broken arm or leg, telling of how they had fallen from a tree and heard the snap echo around the forest, but that was the extent of their excitement. Of course there were people worse off than Hadeel but when it came to sympathy for petty things like coughs, and scratches. Hadeel did not hold back in telling the person how trivial that injury was.
There was nothing she could say to glasses though, no comfort or cheering up, he wouldn't have it anyway, the way his voice was so set when he spoke made her hold her tongue. He didn't want sympathy from them, he just wanted them to know the pain that comes with petty little words like, at least it wasn't me.
"I'm so sorry man," chatterbox tried to say something to make him feel better.
"What are you sorry for, I'm the one who said it," glasses said with an awful sounding laugh. "But that was in the past," he laughed getting a bright smile on his face. "All I can do now is do my best to repay him," he said taking out his playing cards. "Now look at this new monster I got," he said brushing off the story like a flea. He gave Hadeel one last cold searching look before directing his attention on the other girl at the table.
For a while after that story Hadeel's mind was washed clean of any thoughts of Bane or Barsad, her only thoughts were how glasses must've felt after his buddy died. Did he hold his body and cry out to God? Cursing at him for taking his friend away from him, she wondered if any of her friends would do the same thing for her. If she died early in their lives would they forever remember her for something? Or would she just be another face in the sea of faces that was their memory?
There was an air of sullenness that stayed with the group the rest of the time until it was time for Hadeel's and her kind of friends next class, they walked up the stairs exchanging worthless comments about how many people they thought would be in the class. Her friend guessed at least ten, but Hadeel said it would be more like four or five like her previous class. When they got in the classroom there were about seven kids, and since it was in the middle of both of their guesses they both looked at each other nodded with a small laugh.
As soon as the teacher started lecturing Hadeel let her mind go into a sort of daze, dwelling on her teachers words and getting back into the routine of taking notes, even though it hurt her hand more than usual, and doodling. Laughing at little jokes and silly words that the teacher threw out randomly during class, Hadeel had always liked the class since she actually paid attention and learned something.
After the class ended her teacher asked her what happened and she explained that she had fallen down the stairs, a few other students seemed to be listening as well for they stayed after class until she answered the question and then left. Her kind of friend bid her farewell as she explained that she had to go home and take care of her cats, she was always talking about her cats and how she liked to make duct tape purses and wallets. Useless information that Hadeel felt that she bragged about for she always seemed prideful and demeaning when she talked about it.
Saying Good bye to her teacher Hadeel stopped herself short, for a whole hour and a half she hadn't any thoughts about Bane or the sewers, in fact it hadn't even crossed her mind until this moment. It shocked her slightly, was it really this easy to just forget everything that had happened? But life always goes on right?
030
When Hadeel got home that night it was late, about nine fifteen or so, she was hoping that by then everyone would either be asleep or so far into whatever movie they were watching they wouldn't question her about anything. Her father was watching the television with her mother leaning against him, a comforting image, but it did nothing to help Hadeel calm down. Walking past the kitchen quietly Hadeel went to her room immediately, closing the door and dropping her bags onto her bed and onto the floor, not caring where they landed.
At school everything and everyone was exactly as how she had left it, the friend she had told off not long ago didn't come to school so there was nothing to worry about there. Her art class was just as it always had been, with the same teacher that smelled like alcohol and got in her face when she talked to anyone about art. Nothing at school had changed except for her.
Going into the bathroom Hadeel was relieved to see that her sisters were in their respective rooms and nowhere to be seen, because she really didn't want to talk to them right. She had been thinking about having a hot shower all day, to soothe her itchy head and aching palms, but now that she looked at the shower bathtub combination a bath sounded better. Turning the handle she watched for a few moments as the water began to pour out and fill up the surface of the tub. She was exhausted from everything that she had done during the day; her injuries slowed her down more than she thought they would. But she didn't want to go to sleep, not yet, for she was afraid that her dreams might be plagued with bodies, as they had been when she was with Bane.
Suddenly Hadeel was aware that the sound of the water going into the bathtub sounded awfully familiar to the waterfall in the sewers, the constant run of it as it traveled down into the ground beneath the sewers. The steady movement of water passing before her eyes. Closing her eyes tightly Hadeel tried to blot it out, she didn't want to think about this so soon after getting back home. But the memory would not leave her so quickly, the warmth of the water brought moisture into the air, making Hadeel breathe in damp hair that she could only relate to the sewers.
Shivering horribly she sank down to the cool tile of the bathroom floor, and again she was reminded of the cool concrete beneath her feet as she ran from her cage in the sewers. A loud voice made her jump and shake as someone on the television made a commotion. Hadeel had to remind herself that she wasn't in the sewers anymore, that she was home where she could be safe.
Safe.
Was she safe at home? What kind of safety did her house have to offer her? Bane had said that as long as she was with him she would be safe, but what kind of safety did he offer her?
At home she could be alone in her room and pretend like everything that gave her worry or distress didn't exist, her room was her cave that no one was allowed to enter and steal information from. In this case the information would be Hadeel's emotions and secrets. Her parents didn't make her feel safe, except for maybe from being broke; her sisters offered her nothing rather than the occasional feeling of family. It was just her room that was the safety part of it.
Then what did she feel with Bane? He didn't leave her alone like her parents did, he asked her questions directed at her past and her secrets, he wanted to steal that information that she'd hidden away. He was a hulking mass of a man whom stood above her like a giant and a king, demanding and commanding things of her. He kept her in a cage and refused to let her go or even answer her questions. He was the exact opposite of safety in Hadeel's mind, but if he was like that, then why did she feel like there was an emptiness. An emptiness she had not known until now, after she had been released from her cage, what did that mean?
Finally snapping out of her thoughts Hadeel stood back up to see that the tub was already almost full. Ridding herself of her clothing Hadeel was careful when it came to taking her shirt off as it passed over her forehead bandage. Looking at herself in the mirror she saw that there were bruises on her wrists where Bane had held her down, she hadn't even noticed them until now, just like the emptiness.
With a careful hand Hadeel began to work at peeling away the bandage on her head, scrunching her face up painfully as the sticky adhesive pulled at the skin on her face Hadeel frowned when she saw the gash on her head. It was a little bit above her eyebrow and looked about as big as a dime, not circular, but long and thin at the ends, even though it had already scabbed over Hadeel looked at it with disgust. Next she took the bandage off her leg, it was more healed compared to her head but still looked nasty and bruised. When she took the bandages off her hands Hadeel bit her tongue painfully, the cloth had stuck into the wound and was now pulling at it, making Hadeel wince in agony.
At last the bandages were off and Hadeel turned off the water before putting on of her feet in, jerking it back immediately when the water burned her foot with the intensity of the heat. With a bit of tinkering with cold water and hot water Hadeel was able to sit down in the tub painstakingly, her injured leg burned and hissed angrily at her while her hands felt like they were holding fireballs. Slowly Hadeel let her head fall under the water as well, twisting her head out of the water immediately when the water stabbed at her forehead furiously.
"Ahh, dangit," Hadeel murmured bitterly.
Now that her head was throbbing with new pain Hadeel decided to just lean her head back against the cool tile behind her. Closing her eyes she remembered a song that would go perfectly to what she was feeling, she didn't know the whole thing, but the bits and pieces she knew were just fine.
"I have a migraine, and my pain will range from up, down, and sideways. Thank god it's Friday, cause Fridays will always be better than Sundays because are my suicide days. I don't know why they always seem so dismal, thunderstorms, clouds, rain, and a slight drizzle. Whether it's the weather or the letters by my bed, sometimes death seems better than the migraine in my head," she sang the words softly into the murky hot air around her form.
Hadeel had never been one to have migraines, she'd had one in high school, the letter in her textbook that she had been reading suddenly turned fuzzy and illegible while her vision began to get blurry. The edges of her eyesight began to turn black before an aching pain clouded her mind, but that was the extent of what she remembered. If it was like kidney pain in the head then Hadeel kind of had an idea of what it was like.
"Am I the only one I know, waging my wars behind my face and above my throat? Shadows will scream that I'm alone, but I know, I've made it this far, kid," getting further into the water Hadeel watched as ripples broke across the water in front of her mouth as she sang. "I am not as fine as I seem, pardon," she spoke these words a little louder. "Me for yelling," she stopped abruptly.
That was the one line in the song that Hadeel loved more than anything, because it was exactly how she felt most of the time, no matter how much she smiled or laughed she was empty inside. But it didn't matter because no one ever noticed or paid any attention to what she was hiding beneath her mask. Of course there wasn't anyone else to blame but herself for that, she couldn't just spend her whole life waiting for someone to notice that she was lying. She'd never find anyone like that, except that Bane had found her.
030
The next day Hadeel went to work to explain why she had missed the last couple days that she had supposed to be working, she didn't tell her boss that she had been kidnapped and kept against her will by a massive giant of a man. No, no one would believe that anyway. She said that she fell down the stairs, and knocked herself out for a few days, and that was why she hadn't been at work, or even anywhere remotely near it.
Of course her boss believed her, the bandages on her form were a very good backup to her story, after she explained that she went home, except that she felt like there was nothing to do. After spending days sitting around and listening to the rush of the water it felt like Hadeel no longer knew what to do with her free time. She could go on the internet, watch television, read a few books, or draw, so many things she could do and yet she chose to sit in her room and listen to music while she wasted the day away.
When she dozed off sleepily Hadeel was thrown into a nightmare, not one that she remembered at all except that it was terrifying, it was just one of those dreams that she couldn't recall but still remembered the frightfulness of being stuck within it. Snapping her eyes open Hadeel sat up quickly, searching her room as she expected Bane to be watching her just as he had always been watching her in the sewers. But of course he wasn't there, he'd let her come home where she was safe.
Trembling with newfound coldness Hadeel pulled her knees up to her chest and sat on her bed in a little ball, she hadn't been able to sleep much the night before because nightmare had plagued her dreams like mosquitoes on a hot summer day. She'd tried to remember how she'd gotten to sleep before but couldn't quite put her mind on it, had she even been able to get to sleep in the sewers at all.
Now as she shook with fear Hadeel recalled a time when she had had a nightmare and woken in terror, whimpering and trying not to let all her terrified emotions out into the world. Bane had been listening to her struggle with her own dreams and emotions for some time before he finally came up to comfort her.
She'd though that he would laugh at her and her petty dreams and worries, but instead he'd listened and made sure not to smirk or anything of the sort. She thought that he was angry at her for some reason, but instead he'd gently pushed her hair out of her face and tapped her on the forehead lightly. She didn't have any more nightmares after that.
Why that had helped her at all Hadeel didn't know, but Bane wasn't here now, so she would lose sleep.
030
On Wednesday Hadeel was back at school, none of her classes were cancelled and there were more students in class than there had been on Monday, but still less compared to the normal amount on any other day. Hadeel felt like she was caught up in two different worlds, different realities or something. On one side she was happy that she was back and that everything had gone back to normal as if she had never left. On the other hand she was appalled that no one cared that she had been kidnapped and in the sewers for three or so days, not that anyone knew, but she felt that there was no way she could go back to her normal life.
A lot of things seemed different, the way she felt about herself and moved and interacted with people was different. She was still laughing and smiling, telling silly stories that had no meaning or value, but there was something missing, and she didn't quite know what it was. Another weird thing was that glasses dude seemed to be staring at her a lot more often than he used to, which was never at all, so that was a little odd.
In a way everything around her seemed a lot more fake than it used to, as if she wasn't even the same person at school as she was with Bane. He always saw right through everything she tried to cover up, there was a reason for that, though she didn't know, but here at school she could lie about anything. No one would ever be the wiser.
During her art class Hadeel walked outside, wondering if she waited long enough would Bane show up and take her away again. But what was she thinking? Did she want to get taken away? No, that would be preposterous, right? Why would she even think about that?
"Hadeel!" Someone called out to her suddenly. Turning quickly towards the source of the voice Hadeel almost stiffened when she saw that it was her friend whom she had not seen since she'd told her how angry she had been.
"Hi," Hadeel said simply not wanting to be anywhere near her. "I wish I could talk but I have to go back to-," Hadeel began to turn away from the girl before she interrupted her.
"I wanted to say that I'm sorry," she said twisted her head away from Hadeel's eyes.
"Let's talk somewhere else," Hadeel muttered feeling like it was a bit open out in the courtyard. They were silent as they walked towards the stairs to get into the building that surrounded them.
"I shouldn't have just ditched you like that," she mumbled trying to be quiet.
"But you did," Hadeel countered bitterly.
"I didn't know it would hurt you so much," she said loudly suddenly.
The girl was frustrated with Hadeel, finally she'd gone to school intent on telling Hadeel that she was going to make it up for her and yet it seemed like Hadeel had more to say. She was hoping that Hadeel would be one of those silent types who was grateful for an apology, but she wasn't at all. When Hadeel didn't say anything the girl continued with renewed vigor in her voice.
"You're never angry Hadeel, I mean not for very long anyway, not at your friends," she said stopping Hadeel on the stairs. "Even when something happens that you should be sad about you never say anything, I didn't think you would get so upset by this," she was starting to get a little frantic with what she said.
"Well," Hadeel started to say something but couldn't really think of anything to defend herself.
"Why did it hurt you so much?" Her friend pushed her for an answer. Immediately Hadeel was reminded of Bane and how he pushed her for answers when she didn't want to say anything, but this felt different. She wanted to answer her friend, she wanted her to know.
"A long time ago I lost a lot of friends, they all forgot about me, now whenever something like that happens I just," she stopped herself short when her eyes started to water. "Can't handle it," she explained letting her voice crack slightly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't know," she said looking a little lost at what to say.
"It's entirely my fault, I never tell anyone this stuff," Hadeel said with a straight face. "But thanks," she smiled honestly. Turning towards the building again Hadeel was just going to go towards the drinking fountain, when her friend stopped her again.
"Wait," she said sternly.
At that moment a gun shot rang off in the distance, making Hadeel jump and turn towards the sound quickly. Unbeknownst to the college the sewers had more or less exploded and trapped all the cops in the city underground, Bane had made an announcement that the city was on its own now, and if anyone tried to interfere a bomb would go off and kill the entire city.
There were perhaps only about twenty people in the whole school who knew what had happened, and that was because they had been trying to watch the football game in class instead of taking notes, or because they were on break or something. They knew about Bane, but what they didn't know was that he had sent about six or so men to the college in order to get something that belonged to him. One of these men was bent on getting whatever it was at the college because he knew exactly what it was, but a couple of them just wanted to cause some trouble after lying dormant for so long in the sewers.
Now as the men started to get a little jumpy Hadeel and her friend saw them enter the courtyard and go straight for the art room that Hadeel had been situated in not five minutes prior.
"What's going on?" Her friend asked in blatant fear.
Hadeel was somewhat frozen as she watched the men disappear into the room before one of them walked back out slowly, just when she thought her life was returning to normal and she would never have to see him again Hadeel recognized Barsad.
"Run," Hadeel said softly to her friend, pushing her into the building quickly. "Hurry," she said louder when her friend didn't listen to her.
Glancing back in the direction of Barsad, Hadeel locked eyes with him for a second before he started to run after her quickly. Another man not so far away as Barsad noticed the sudden change in direction and started running after Hadeel as well, forcing her to push her friend into the building and farther away from the two men.
"Why are they here?" Her friend asked again.
"Just run!"
"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad. The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had." -Tears for Fears
AN: So that was this chapter, what did you think? Bane didn't give her very much time did he? I actually didn't want to write very much of her being alone, so I made it pretty quick.
The song in this chapter is called Migraine by Twenty One Pilots, a song I've recently gotten addicted to.
By the way if anyone likes the newer James Bond's with Daniel Craig I'm thinking about writing a story for it, I've actually been thinking about it for a while, just wondering if anyone would stop by and read it.
Thanks for reading.