ASHLEY'S P.O.V
"So i've made everything kind of awkward haven't I?"
"Yer maybe just a little bit"
She's smiling.
"Sorry Spencer I didn't mean for that to happen"
"It's all good"
If I could go back and have my time again I'd do everything differently.
"Ashley should I be reading into this more than I am?"
"That depends on how you're reading into it"
"Okay so i'll explain things from my point a view and then you can let me know if i'm wrong"
"Alright"
I'm a little nervous.
"We agreed that it was okay to see other people but then you hooked up with that chick last night and felt guilty"
"Spencer I was just worried it was going to ruin everything"
"What exactly is there to ruin?"
"We've been going through all these issues with your family and my family"
We both have alot of issues.
"And Spencer the more time I spend with you the more I realise we're more alike than I first thought"
"Is that a good thing or a bad thing?"
"It's probably bad but I like hanging out with you"
"Okay"
"Spencer three weeks ago you had these great big walls surrounding you and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get through"
I really hope i'm not freaking her out.
"But then you openned up and told me about your life"
It means alot that she told me about her family.
"Anyway I just don't want to be another person that disappoints you"
"Ashley it's just sex"
We both know that's a lie.
"Spencer I wish that was true but I've never felt as guilty as I did last night"
"Ashley..."
"Spencer I know we agreed it meant nothing but the more I get to know you the harder it becomes to pretend"
She's playing with her napkin.
"Look i've never wanted a relationship and i'm not saying I want one now"
I can't believe i'm telling her this.
"But I like having you in my life Spencer and I can't not care"
I reach out grabbing the napkin out of her hand.
"I care about you Spencer and that's why I should of been more considerate of your feelings"
She's staring at me.
"Look I could just sit here and pretend it's just sex but that's not true for me anymore"
I'm pretty sure she's freaking out.
"Spencer we may not want the whole girlfriend and girlfriend thing"
I should have explained this better.
"But I want your friendship Spencer and that's why we can't just keep having sex and then switch back to being friends"
"Ashley..."
"Spencer please don't freak out and start shutting me out"
She reaches out wrapping her hand around mine.
"That's not what i'm doing"
That's a relief.
"I care about you Ashley and there's no way I would have told you all that stuff if I didn't trust you and want you in my life"
That's good to know.
"But I don't want the sex to ruin everything"
I don't want that either.
"So I think maybe it's best we just do the whole friendship thing and forget about the sex"
I'm really going to miss the sex.
"So you want to have a good old fashioned boring friendship?"
When I say that she starts laughing.
"Yer and I know it's going to be alot more boring than what we've been doing"
That's true.
"But it will make everything alot less complicated"
"Okay"
I grab my drink off the table.
"Spencer should we cheers to our normal boring friendship?"
"Yer"
She starts laughing as she picks up her drink.
"Cheers"
I tap my glass against hers and quickly take a sip.
"Spencer this might be the stupidest idea we've ever come up with"
"We'll see"