ASHLEY'S P.O.V
I'm currently on drink number four.
I had two options when I walked back into the bar.
I could sit with the others or I could hang out at the bar and get wasted.
So I picked the one that involved getting wasted and i'm glad I did because the more I drink the less I freak out.
"Why are you sitting by yourself?"
Shit.
"I didn't want to intrude"
"Ashley that's ridiculous"
I watch her as she sits down next to me.
"I haven't seen you since our chat a couple of days ago"
"I had a couple of things I had to do"
I had to avoid Spencer and then I had to avoid Spencer.
"Are you alright?"
"Yer Spencer i'm fine"
"Is everything alright with you and Kyla?"
"Yer we're all good"
"Okay"
I think it's best I just get this over and done with.
"Spencer can we talk?"
I turn so i'm facing her.
"Isn't that what we're doing now?"
Usually i'd find that entertaining.
But right now i'm freaking out.
"Spencer please?"
I can't believe i'm doing this.
"Sorry"
"Don't be"
She's looking really hot.
"So I..."
I've never done this before.
"I ummmm"
Any day now i'll complete a whole sentence.
"Okay I've broken that pact we made"
She looks confused.
"I've kind of turned this into something more than it was meant to be"
I suck at explaining.
"Ashley i'm not following"
Of course she's not.
I'm not making any sense.
"Spencer I like you"
"I like you to"
"Okay that was a poor choice of words"
Maybe I should start again.
"I don't want to be your friend Spencer and I don't want to be the girl you have sex with from time to time"
I'm pretty sure she knows what I'm getting at.
"I want there to be an us"
"Ashley I..."
"Spencer I'm sorry and I know how you feel about relationships but I can't just keep pretending anymore"
She looks stunned.
"The other night when I left with that girl nothing happened"
I brought her back to my hotel room with every intention of taking it further.
"I thought I wanted something to happen but then when we got back to the hotel it didn't feel right so I asked her to leave"
"Ashley we talked about this"
"I know Spencer and this whole situation's freaking me out"
This is all new to me.
"I've never been interested in settling down and I've never wanted more from a girl"
I want more from Spencer and that scares me.
"But Spencer I can't stop thinking about you and it's driving me crazy"
Why did I listen to Kyla?
"Ashley I don't know what to say?"
"That's the thing Spencer you don't need to say anything"
I already know what she's going to say.
"I know how you feel about relationships and i'm sorry that I did the one thing I promised I wouldn't do"
I'm surprised she hasn't walked away already.
"Ashley i'm sorry"
I should of drank more.
"Spencer it's fine you can't help how you feel"
I quickly finish my drink.
"That last thing I wanted to do was hurt you Ashley but I..."
"Spencer I knew what I was getting myself into when we started this"
"I'm sorry Ash i'm just not looking for a relationship?"
I hop up off my chair and put my glass down on the bar.
"That's cool i'm sorry if I've ruined your night"
"Ashley don't leave"
"I wasn't planning on staying Spencer I just came to apologise to Ky"
Revealing all to Spencer was a last minute decision.
"Have a good night"
"Ashley?"
"Spencer it's fine really"
I force a smile.
"I'll see you around"
"Yer"
I've never left a place as quick as I did just then.
What just happened then is exactly why I didn't want to say anything.