Author's note: I am back... sorry but my muse needed a break after working so hard those last couple weeks... here is the next installment in the Light Series... enjoy and review... Special thanks to my beta warehouseluver13 for all she has done

I also have a polyvore up for this story as well... check bio for link

This is the third installment of the Light Series. I recommend reading the other stories first.

Disclosure: I own nothing of Arrow

"Sweetheart? Felicity you out here?" Oliver called out as he walked through the gardens in the back of the house. When he had arrived home, the first thing he did was sought out Felicity; needing to reassure himself that she was still in his life. That he hadn't pushed her away again.

A tender sob and sniffle drew him to the chuppah they had used just a few weeks prior to get married under. Thea had it moved to a new part of the garden where she would help Felicity plant several plants that Felicity liked to make the garden a bit more hers. Raisa had informed him, upon his arrival, that Felicity had headed out back a bit ago. He walked up to the chuppah to find her on the base of it, one is his hoodies wrapped tightly around her as she wiped at her tear stained cheeks.

"Oh Sweetheart."

Felicity glanced up and saw Oliver and his guilty expression. "So it takes me threatening divorce to see my husband. Is that how it's going to be? Tell me now. Because you promised something different the last time we stood under this." Felicity glared at him. Her eyes were bloodshot and filled with a rage he had rarely seen in them. She was beyond pissed. She was furious.

"No. No it won't be like that. I'm sorry. I meant what I said Felicity. I meant every word of my vows." Oliver tried to sink down next to her but she rose up and stepped away. He reached out for her, wanting desperately to comfort her, but she only drew away again.

"Then why? Why push me away again? Why hurt me? Hurt your son? We love you and want a family. Want to see you and be with you but you are acting like you don't want us anymore. Is that it? You had a few great months with us as a family but now that you are the Arrow again and a villain is back in our life, you don't want us with you. You don't want us to be victims. Well I have news for you. You are what is hurting us now. I had to hold your son this morning and lie, something I swore I would never do to him because I know how much it can hurt to be lied to, so that he wouldn't know his dad didn't want him just days after his actual birthday. His first ever with his father. I will not let you hurt that boy. He has had enough pain in his life."

"No! I want this! I want our family. Please don't leave." Oliver pleaded as he moved over to her again, not letting her move away from him this time. He latched onto her wrists and pulled her to him. "I want us. I'm sorry. I am so stupid. I just got so worried that Damien would hurt you to get to me. To get that damn ring."

"We are partners Oliver. We should share everything. Every joy, fear and tear. You promised me that."

"I know. I'm sorry. I will try to do better. Share more. I'm just not used to it. I spent the entire time I was gone not trusting anyone. If I did trust them, they either died or turned against me. It is hard, even after being home for 3 years, to turn that off."

"Well you need to try. Oliver, I will support you, fight beside you, stand by you through anything but you have to let me. If you hold back and hide away, I won't know what is going on and can't help. Can't protect our kids." Felicity started crying again as her rage subsided and her fear grew in her. She wanted their kids safe and healthy but if she didn't know what was going on she couldn't. have that.

Oliver felt Felicity's body sink as she started to fall to the weight of her emotions. "Oh Baby. I am so sorry. I promise it will get better. I will work on it. I swear. Just don't leave. I can't live, can't breathe without you and Connor and the babies. You guys are my world. Please say I haven't push you too far finally."

"Oliver, I don't want to leave. You have to show me why I should stay. Why I should let my kids live this life."

"I'll show you. I promise. I am so sorry." Oliver nodded vigorously as he looked in her eyes, hoping she could see his determination to make this work in his. He wiped away her tears, trying to ease her emotions. He held her in his arms now, her head resting on his chest. "Let's go inside. I have something I need to tell you. A lot to tell you. And you need to rest a bit."

"Okay." Felicity whispered, too exhausted from the rollercoaster ride her emotions had put her through to fight anymore.

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"Wait why didn't you tell me any of this before?" Felicity asked as she shifted a bit. They were wrapped up in their bed, the tray from their lunch pushed aside. They had spent the last couple hours in bed talking about all of Oliver's past. About his inner beast. He had stopped at one point to get her something to eat but other than the quick trip to the kitchen, they had been in their bed since he came home.

"I was scared. Scared you would leave if you saw just how dark I was. How much of a monster I could be." Oliver stated, shame laced in every word.

"Baby, I will never leave you. I have seen you at your worst in these last few years."

"No you haven't. The monster in me scares even me. I don't want that to become me again. I didn't care how much I hurt my target. Only that they were my mission. Even when I came home, that bloodthirst was still there. I killed and never thought differently about it. Until you came in my life. You pushed me to find a new way. You pushed that beast back inside and helped me find a new life. A new purpose. You gave me a reason to want to never be him again."

Felicity reached out and held his left hand in hers, twining her fingers with his. Her thumb slid over his wedding band softly. "And you won't become him again. I won't let that happen. I love you Oliver and this here is to remind you of that. I know you can't wear it while you're out in the field but I will always be there to remind you who you are and to bring you home to me. You just have to trust me. Believe that I can do that. I have pulled you back more times than I care to think about."

"Oh, trust me, you have no idea."

Felicity smiled at him softly. "Then believe that I can do it again."

"But if we go after Damien, I may have to be that to defeat him. I barely beat Ra's and I didn't do it as me. How can I be sure that going down that dark path, that turning back into beast, won't change me afterwards?" Oliver's head dropped in shame and fear. He couldn't look at her. She knew what he had done, the men he killed for money and the excitement it gave him. He had been an assassin for hire, a merchant of death, and enjoyed his time as such because for the first time in years he did not feel the pain of heartbreak.

Felicity looped her right hand under his chin, pinching in between the thumb and index fingers, and pushed his head up to look him in the eyes. Their eyes were dark and cloudy from the very emotional talk they had had but Oliver still saw a softness and compassionate side to hers that stole his breath. "Because things are different this time. You have me. I will be there always, to pull you back into the light. Believe that. You have me, and Connor and the babies and the team. You are not alone anymore and never will be unless you choose to be. Oliver, you have the power over the beast, as you call it. You control it not the other way around."

Oliver grinned as he fell in love with her all over again. "How do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Take all my fears and just blow them away. You have been doing that for years. No matter how hard a situation seemed, how bad and dark I was feeling at that moment, you could always make me feel like I could take on the world and win. You did it with Malcolm and the Undertaking, Slade and the Siege, and Ra's and the League. You did it with my problems with QC, my mother and even my sister. You just wipe out all my fear with a quick pep talk and a smile."

"Because I am just that good." Felicity teased and giggled.

"Oh really?" Oliver asked, a mischievous grin twisting on his lips. Before she could respond, he lunged at her and started tickling her. She fell back on the pillows and started to squeal and squirm under his touch, her light giggles filling the air around them.

A couple moments later, she was panting and begging him to stop. "Oliver, really. Stop. I need to pee." Oliver released her and watched as she quickly jumped off the bed and ran to the bathroom. When she came out a few moments later she smiled at him, seeing how he looked like a new weight had been lifted off his shoulders. "Sorry but having two small humans using you like a hotel makes you have to pee every hour just about."

"It's fine Sweetheart. You're okay though right? I didn't hurt you or the babies?"

"All good." Felicity giggled as she felt a new flutter in her belly. "In fact I think they know you're here. They keep moving around inside there. Here let's see if you can feel it. Connor couldn't this morning." Felicity walked back over to the bed and sat down on it, taking his hand and placing it on her belly. She moved it around but he kept shaking his head. "Talk. Talk to them. I think they like you voice."

Oliver smiled as he focused on the belly. "Hey in there. So I'm not sure what to say but I'm your daddy and I will always love you and keep you safe. I promise." His lips pressed against her skin and suddenly he felt the flutter. He jumped back. "Was that them?"

"Yep. Well one of them. The other one stays pretty silent unless it is just me and him or her. I think that one likes me more. They really like it when I sing."

"Can you try to get them both moving?"

"They do for a bit when I sing then it's like they go to sleep. Wanna see?"

"Yes please." Oliver grinned as he shifted to lay his head in her lap, his lips pressed against her belly.

Felicity leaned back into the pillows and started singing a soft, sweet melody. Oliver recognized it as 'Holding Out For a Hero' from it being played in clubs and bars he went to in his youth. Soon he could feel the babies shifting a bit on his hands and his smile grew. He whispered a soft 'I love you' and kissed the belly twice then closed his eyes and let Felicity's sweet voice lull him into a gentle sleep.