See Jaune run, Tarzan.
Oops.
*Cough*
There were far too many reasons why Jaune found himself running for dear life within his short seventeen-year life span. One such time was when his sisters all ganged up on him and forced him to wear their dresses on his seventh birthday. He was proudly able to take a grand total of four free steps before being subdued by his more talented siblings. Later in his life, he was able to somehow run away from a Deathstalker and a giant Nevermore. (With some very athletic and highly trained people around his age.)
So truly, with such examples in mind, Jaune Arc was not as physically lacking as he or others thought.
Though one might not think that as he bravely flees away, wailing like a scared school girl… from another school girl—a blonde school girl with fiery might and strength that would rival the powers of mythical dragons, mind you, but people never focus on the details.
So rather, let us focus in on how Jaune Arc will escape this potentially dangerous situation of raining shot gun bullets and fists that could probably dent titanium.
"OH DUST! HELP ME, REN!"
"COME BACK HERE SO I CAN BEAT YOU UP, ARC!"
Boom!
…
Err, enough of that, let's get to Lie Ren.
The stoic lotus warrior slipped away from the chase. It was easy enough actually. Yang seemed bent on only killing Jaune due to some petty reasoning. Of course, he probably knew that Jaune would survive the actual pummeling, but he wanted his friend to be able to tell stories to his children about how cool their Uncle Ren would be for potentially saving them from non-existence.
Ren sighed and thought the only way to save Jaune from this current predicament from a crazy powerful girl… was with another crazy powerful girl.
Why? Pyrrha was for some reason not answering her scroll, Ruby wouldn't help this situation at all, who even knew were Ozpin and Goodwitch were when they weren't trapped in their Oval Office drinking all the world's coffee away, and lastly Ren had a bad feeling about leaving Nora out of his sight for too long. Hopefully, the girl wasn't causing too much trouble without his supervision.
"I'M QUEEN OF THE CASTLE!" A loudly hyperactive voice shouted out of nowhere and clashed with an Aura enveloped Yang, causing a powerful shockwave that was damaging all things within a fifty meter radius and blowing away all stupefied bystanders.
Just to clarify… all of this happened under Ren's supervision.
Ren just watched the carnage with an incredibly amazing poker face as the mushroom-dust cloud ascended high into the blue sky.
"… You know, I should be surprised by any of this, but I'm not..." Ren took out both his Storm Flowers before charging into the large dust cloud to see if he could find his leader's body, or body parts.
Meanwhile…
Neptune ignored the loud explosion coming from the western side of Beacon. A piece of his own mind would explode soon if he didn't find Sun soon! He couldn't believe his partner would steal his wallet… again! Seriously, you'd think he would have more practice against a guy who shoplifts for a living, but no. Now he lost his wallet, and the letter Blake threw at him! Thankfully, it was never signed, so there may be a chance that Sun still doesn't know.
Hopefully?
"Dang it, Sun, where are you?"
"Oh, Neptune, you're looking for Sun too?"
Neptune paled. He recognized that voice. Slowly he turned his head, praying to whatever being up there that he was just madly hallucinating about that female's voice.
He wasn't.
"B-B-b-b-Blake!" Neptune stammered out before coughing and trying to regain his composure. "Err, I mean, Blake!? … What are you doing?" He started to sweat, what did she want to do now? Maybe this was one of those drama heavy affairs that he saw on television once!? Like in Common Hospital where the main love interest has an affair with the main character's hotter best friend!? But he could never do such a thing! Sun was his bro!
… Then again, Blake was smoking hot.
…
Sorry brother Sun, he was weak.
Thankfully, Neptune heard a voice to snap him out of his thoughts. "I'm looking for Sun, just like you," Blake said rather darkly. Neptune raised his brow at the girl before he turned his gazed down to her hands where she was suspiciously arming Gambol Shroud. He could have sworn that weapon wasn't as sharp and pointy as he remembered it made him feel very uncomrfotable. "It's just that I have a very different reason for finding him."
Then the air turned deathly cold. (Brought to you by Aura: RWBY's very own Deus Ex Machina.)
Trying his best to ignore a sudden temperature drop, Neptune asked, "Err… mind telling me why?"
Blake didn't feel like explaining the situation to Neptune. It looked to her that Neptune didn't even know about his partner's 'moves' on a girl he recently fancied. While she could just explain this 'affair' to Neptune, a piece of her wanted Sun to admit this to both of them. Preferably, she wanted him to admit it while she was… questioning him in front of Neptune. (Why did that sound kinky?)
"Oh, trust me. Let's just say that this will benefit us both in the long run." No one crosses her. Oh wait didn't Adam—I mean no one crosses her romantically for Weiss Schnee of all people.
Unfortunately for Neptune, he was taking this the wrong way. 'W-wait!? Both of us?! Oh crap she's one of those Yander characters in those crazy shows I once watched isn't she?! Holy Dust, she's going to end Sun! I gotta stop her—wait, definitely not the right time now. I might have something worse than my neck cut off I make my move now. Maybe I can try to seduce her to spare—no that's just stupid! Oh man! What would Jaune do in this situation?'
Elsewhere…
"Well that situation solved itself…" Jaune thought out loud as he found himself hanging upside down a tree somewhere in the courtyard far from ground zero. "… Kinda? At least I'm not pinned to a tree again."
"Jaune?"
The knight looked down to who had just spoken. His eyes widened in surprise to see Weiss.
"What are you doing up there?!" The snow princess demanded, as if he was up there on purpose.
"Oh you know… just hanging around."
Weiss stared at him with a glare of shame and disappointment that hurt more than any bruise that Cardin had ever inflicted on the young Arc.
"Yeah, that was kind of a bad one…" Jaune admitted as he tried to move off the tree branch. However, his small movement caused a loud cracking noise to be heard—the tree branch he was on collapsed. "Waahgh!"
Weiss ran up to the fallen boy, seeing if he was alright. "Are you alright!?"
Momentarily distracted from his pain, Jaune looked up at the concerned look at Wiess. "Wow. No offense or anything Sno—Weiss, but…"
Weiss raised her brow questioningly.
"I thought you would be more… cold. … I didn't mean for that to sound like another pun."
Weiss rolled her eyes. "I'm not some monster, Jaune," Besides Weiss had gained some respect for Jaune when she had heard that he had vouched for her to Neptune. "But perhaps, I had been a little too… adamant… in my refusal to your previous courtship attempts. You're not quite as simplistic as I thought you were."
"Really? Thanks!" Jaune proudly accepted, finally picking himself back up. Then he subtly wiped his nose, something he smelled felt irritable, not bad smelling, but irritable. Jaune thought it was just probably nothing.
Weiss folded her arms. "Now, can you inform me as to why you were found in that tree after a certain explosion… exploded?"
Jaune raised his finger and opened his mouth, "Funny thing really. Yang was chasing me down, so in order to help me, Ren called Nora for back up and well… the two of them collided with all of their aura… so… yeah…"
Weiss seemed unfazed at the two causes of today's explosion, but something that Jaune mentioned briefly caught her attention. "Why was she chasing you down? Did you pull out her hair or something?"
"Actually, I completely have no idea why she attacked me!" Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Jaune Arc, the closest thing to male main character the RWBY series has. Let's give him a round of applause. "I was chasing Ruby with Ren and then we bumped into her and then she started attacking me!"
Weiss's train of thought stopped abruptly when she heard Jaune talk about Ruby. The thoughts of her love letter caused the heiress to blush in front of Jaune, much to her dismay.
And to her misfortune, Jaune noticed this. "Whoa. Wiess are you alright? You're blushing hard. Are you sick?"
Wiess turned her face away from "You dunce, of course I'm fine! W-why were you chasing Ruby anyway?!"
"Are you sure you're alright?" Jaune asked again unsurely. This time however, Weiss couldn't help but notice the genuine concern in his voice for her own well being.
"J-just tell me why!"
"Oh, I was chasing after Ruby because she—" Then Jaune remembered he promised to keep the letter a secret. "Sheeee haadddd something… planned… foooorrrr… you!" He told her, trying to protect the privacy of the actual users of the letter in a very untactful manner.
Jaune smiled at his 'quick thinking' and ignored the odd, growing irritation in his nose.
Weiss stared jumping to conclusions.
"Yeah! She asked me to help her with something about you! But she's been so busy preparing for this 'thing' that she actually forgot to tell what Ren and I were supposed to do! So to help her, Ren and I have been trying to reach her, but good ol' Ruby must be hard at work for her favorite and lovely partner!"
Weiss twitched when Jaune said 'lovely'.
Now a funny thing happened when Jaune finished making up his lie, he saw Weiss kind of just stare at him blankly. At first he was nervous and believed her to see through his lies, but as seconds turned into a few actual minutes, he was getting the impression something might be wrong.
Weiss was having a mental breakdown. The implications that Jaune vaguely described gave Wiess the idea that Ruby was going to do more than just the love letter. She believed that the reason why Ruby was so jumpy was because she was still preparing something to convey her feeling to her and Weiss caught her unguarded! The letter was but the appetizer to the main course of Ruby's feelings towards her! (What a weird metaphor.) And now, by probably the end of the day, Weiss would have to face Ruby's true feelings while she was still having trouble sorting out what type of the track she should run!?
Then there was the pressure of her family. What would her father say if he suddenly found out about her daughter's sudden shifts in interest? Would the media abuse such a fact to the absolute fullest, if it was even remotely true? Yes. Those Grimm spawns would do that.
But then there was Ruby to consider in all of this, what if she said no? What if it would break her heart and make others look down on her for being different-different? Would her denial force Ruby into shame for being so open with her feelings?
Would she include Winter in the as a bridesmaid—HER THINKING WAS GOING TOO FAR!
How would she deal with this!?
Weiss lost control of her pupils, closed her eyes, lost her balance and fell into Jaune's arms.
"Weiss?! Weiss!? H-hold on! I'll get you to the hos—ACHOO!"
… Just for the record: Jaune did not sneeze on Weiss' hair because he was allergic to Weiss new shampoo.
Just for the record.
Back with Ren.
There were many things Nora knew like sloths are cool, pancakes should be eaten in dinner, Pyrrha reeeaalllyyy likes Jaune, and explosions are always awesome.
But the one thing she did know and didn't like?
I'll give you a hint: Yang learned this fact today as well.
Never make Ren angry.
The two powerhouses were put in a situation so crazy that if you recorded the event and showed it to the people they loved; said people would call you the best video editor in all of Remnant.
Both Yang and Nora were kneeling side by side on the crater they created and looking down in shame and regret with Ren towering over both of them with an impassive and unblinking stare at the two.
Nora called it, the 'Ren Glare', an ancient technique passed down the Ren family line that had the power to sap anyone of their free will by sending invisible lasers of shame and guilt.
Ren would deny that such a thing even existed. But to be honest, he was actually able to master this technique by adding a bit of his aura to his pressure by example of his grandfather. This allowed him to have his 'glare' be more effective because it wasn't some ancient technique, but rather a form of sub-semblance only Ren was able to reproduce.
"Yang," Ren started first causing the blonde to flinch. "I know you didn't mean Jaune any… mortal harm… but don't you think you went a little overboard?"
"Err… nooo?" The blonde dragon denied feebly.
Ren exhaled. Figuring out that Yang only lashed out at Jaune to warn him about 'going after Ruby', Ren expressed his thoughts while trying his best to keep things ambiguous that only she would get it. "Yang, I understand that you have a need to protect Ruby, but you also need to realize that Ruby is growing up to be a mature huntress and that she'll need to handle situations by herself." Don't smother her: is what he basically wanted to say, but he choose otherwise to mention something different.
Yang turned her gaze away and played with her hair. "Y-yeah yeah, yeesh you sound like dad."
"Ren is no fun when he's telling people to stop…" Nora complained under her breath.
"And you," Ren turned his gaze to his best friend, effectively causing the girl to flinch. "What have I always told you?"
"… 'Stop trying to secretly dye my entire hair pink'."
"The other thing Nora: the one about when I ask for your help."
Nora looked down cast as she repeated monotonously, " 'When I ask for help, please ask for me first if I can use Maghild'."
"… And?"
" 'Please actually listen to me when I say Magnhild is not needed…' ."
Ren continued to stare at his friend. Both girls could feel some kind of dark pressure on their shoulders.
" 'And if you do need Magnhild make sure that nothing important would be destroyed, and do not attack the first moving thing you see unless it's a Grimm'. "
"Nora."
" … 'Because explosions are not… always the answer.'…" Nora sadly finished.
"Thank you." Ren said.
Hesitantly, Yang spoke out after Nora finished. "Can we get up now? I think some dust is getting into my hair?"
"Fine. I need your help getting Jaune anyway." Who knows how far their leader flew from the impact.
The two of them stood back up and followed Ren out the crater.
Two minutes in, Nora realized something that sparked her curiosity. "By the way, Yang, why were you chasing after Jaune?"
"Oh, Vomit Boy gave Ruby a love letter."
Uh-oh.
"WHAT!?" Nora yelled in mad terror, stopping the three of them, and causing Ren to look back confused.
"Nora?" Ren lifted his brow. Why was she so surprised?
"This threatens Operation: Arkos!"
Ren's eyes, for the first time, widened up by two millimeters. 'Oh right… that. That was a thing.' Ren recalled Nora wanting both their team mate Spartan and Knight getting together-together after the dance. While he wasn't against it, he didn't want to interfere with someone else's love life. Nora on the other hand…
"Operation what?" Yang repeated in confusion.
"Gasp! Dr. Nefarious is pulling out all the stops! Ruby must have been the mole that sold all the agents files to him!"
Ren realized that Nora was still heavily influenced by the spy marathon last night.
"She needs to be…" Nora released Magnhild's grenade launcher form. "Eliminated!"
Then Ren made a new self note to never let Nora watch another spy marathon for as long as she lived.
"Whoa there, carrot top!" Yang said as she stood back up with Ember Celica's cocking another round of ammo. "Nobody messes with my sister!"
Nora also stood back and pointed her grenade launcher at Yang. She had this oddly curious scenario in her head where she was now going to fight double agents who would take a very long time explaining how they beat her and ultimately fail in actually beating her.
"The insurrection has begun!" Nora yelled before she and Yang went at it again.
Ren told himself that this was without a doubt the third worst day of his life right before he blacked out from the second shockwave.
{Author's note}
I'll keep who gets the letter next as a bit of a secret. Also thank you for the suggestions, but it's unlikely for some people to get the letter with what i am planning to do with it.
Alright, it looks like the guys are having the short end of the stick. One odd thing that I've noticed in a vast majority of these types of stories is that only Jaune gets the cosmic boot. So, to make things fair in this story, every guy is going to have their fair of troubles.
Enough rant. Thanks for reading.