"No!"

"You're the only person who'd be able to use that much power inside your chambers. The spells warding them against powerful magic weren't designed to affect you - I never dreamed you'd need to be protected from yourself! But it's the only explanation that makes sense… Well, it's the only one that's remotely possible," Merlin amended. There were several things about it that didn't make the slightest bit of sense to him.

"It sounds like you've had plenty of time to ponder it." Morgana suddenly smacked his chest with her open palm, then twisted out of his grasp and backed up, glaring daggers at him. "Why didn't you tell me!"

"I wanted to be sure first. I knew this was the likeliest explanation, but I convinced myself there had to be another one."

Morgana's heart skipped a beat. He was right - to think she'd brought these horrible things on herself, that she was some sort of enchantress, flew in the face of logic. There had to be another explanation. "And have you found one?" she asked hopefully.

Merlin reluctantly shook his head. "I looked, and I ruled out every other possibility. No one else could've started the fire, broken the glass, or made your bed fly off the floor. I was going to tell you in the morning; I didn't think you'd appreciate me barging into your chambers at this hour. Then you barged in here, which is really ironic…" He gave a short, somewhat forced laugh. Morgana just stared at him in disbelief. Merlin's grin vanished. "I know how you feel; I can't believe it either. To think that you, Uther Pendragon's ward, have magic-"

"Stop saying that!" She pushed past him and began pacing furiously in the open area in front of the fireplace that wasn't occupied by Merlin's bed, desk, or bookcases. "I cannot have magic, Merlin! I simply can't!"

"I know it's scary at first," he said soothingly. "I went through the same thing. You feel out of control, like you can't trust yourself, but it gets better once you learn to control your powers-"

"I don't want to control them!" Morgana shouted. "I want them gone!"

"I can't take your magic away, Morgana. It can't be done."

"I know it can't, else I would have relieved you of your magic long before now."

"You what?" the warlock yelped. "What did I do that made you want to kill me?"

"Nothing - I wanted to cure you," Morgana explained, her wide, earnest eyes imploring him to understand.

Merlin didn't understand at all. "Why did you think I needed to be cured?"

"Because, Merlin, magic is evil. It will corrupt your soul."

"Do you really believe that, Morgana? I was born with magic. Do you think I'm corrupt?"

"I don't know!" she wailed. She had never felt so torn - exhausted and terrified, she wanted Merlin to reassure and comfort her, but instead she'd managed to hurt, offend, and push him away. "I cannot believe there is evil in your heart, nor can I disregard what I know to be true. Merlin, I'm so confused…"

He wanted badly to reach out and help her, but something held him back. After everything he'd done to make her feel welcome, happy, and safe in Dagon, all his effort at being kind and friendly to her, it hurt that she still had doubts about him - hurt so much that he couldn't make himself move closer to her. If she still didn't know what sort of man he was, maybe he'd never been close to her. "Uther taught you well," he observed. His voice came out harsh and cold, echoing the icy numbness that was creeping through his insides.

A new emotion swept through Morgana's already overtaxed mind: rage. How dare Merlin assume she was just a mindlessly obedient ward? Did he think her incapable of forming her own opinions? "You don't know what you're talking about! You know nothing!"

"Educate me, then." Even after she had wounded him, even with his instincts telling him to withdraw and spare himself more pain, there was a surprisingly dominant part of Merlin that wanted to connect with Morgana and understand her.

Her mind still clouded by the crimson haze of her fury, Morgana rose to his challenge unthinkingly and screamed at him, "Magic took my mother from me!"

"Your mother?" Merlin hadn't spared a thought for his fiancée's mother since the day Morgana had vehemently rebuffed his inquiry about her.

Morgana nodded jerkily. Haltingly, as if the word was being wrenched from her against her will, she spat out a name: "Vivienne. She was a sorceress…and she was unfaithful to my father. He loved her dearly and gave her everything a woman could desire, but she wasn't content with her lot. Uther said the taint of her magic poisoned her heart against her husband and compelled her to betray him."

"No doubt her lover was a sorcerer as well," Merlin said sarcastically. Trust Uther to seize any chance he got to defame the magic practitioners he hated so much.

"He must have been. Surely nothing but the lure of her own kind could have enticed her away from her lord."

"But you don't know for sure? Well, you were quite young when it happened." Merlin remembered that Morgana was only ten years old when her father perished in battle. He thought she'd become Uther's ward after Gorlois' death, which meant her mother had predeceased him - Morgana would have been even younger then, and naturally shielded from something as shameful as adultery.

"No, I wasn't."

"But-"

"Although my father could have banished or executed his wife when her indiscretion was discovered, he was too soft-hearted for his own good. He forgave her, and I was born eight years later."

"Oh." Merlin scrubbed his forehead with his knuckles as he tried to make sense of Morgana's sordid tale. It explained a lot about her distrust of magic, but there was still one gaping hole in the story. "If Vivienne wasn't cast out right away, what happened?"

"The purge. Uther began cleansing his lands of magic shortly after Arthur's birth as you know, and his holdings are so vast that for some years he was occupied with druids and village hedge witches. Once he finished with them, however, he turned his attention elsewhere. Not even lords and ladies were safe from him if they practiced magic. My father tried to protect her at first, but Uther kept reminding him of her past betrayal. Eventually he was convinced her magic would never allow her to be a faithful wife and that it would be best to put an end to her before she could be tempted into further acts that would endanger her soul. I watched her burn. I tried to turn away, but my father and Uther were there; they wouldn't let me leave, and my nurse held my arms so I couldn't cover my ears…"

"No wonder you have nightmares."

Morgana didn't seem to hear him; she was gazing into the fireplace, apparently transfixed. Merlin stepped in front of her, blocking her view of the flames. That seemed to break her trance; she blinked and looked up at his face. Her eyes were wet. Her voice, though, was remarkably steady and solemn. "I had to know the consequences of letting magic influence me so I wouldn't be led astray as she was… I am like her though, am I not?"

"You inherited your mother's magic, but that isn't a bad thing. Uther is wrong about magic's effect on people."

Morgana shook her head. "My father agreed with him in the end. He told me magic corrupts those who use it, and he would not have lied about such a grave matter. He would never have lied to me," she insisted with childish stubbornness.

Merlin realized he had to choose his next words with care - Morgana would not easily be talked out of a belief that had been instilled in her since childhood, and her view of her father was still that of a child; anything that could be interpreted as an insult to Gorlois would only serve to anger her. "I know he wouldn't have misled you on purpose, but Uther was his friend. He listened to Uther like any man would listen to his friend…and you know how Uther can be."

"I do. I've often wondered why he is so single-minded in his opposition to magic, but surely he cannot be entirely mistaken? He wouldn't have persuaded my father to let the woman he loved die for nothing…would he?"

"He was wrong about magic causing Vivienne to betray your father. Think about it; if those of us with magic were irresistibly drawn to our own kind, the Lady Sirenia never would have pursued Lancelot, who as I'm sure you know doesn't have magic. Actually-" he grimaced "-if magic attracted sorcerers to each other she and I would have already been married. I'm not saying what your mother did was right, but magic had nothing to do with her choice. For all we know her paramour might not even have had magic."

"That's true…" Morgana's face suddenly crumpled as the foundation of everything she believed about the nature of magic vanished like a rug yanked out from under her feet, and her tears began flowing. "…Meaning she needn't have died! My father's heart was broken for no reason at all, and Uther…Uther tricked him into it! How could he? They were friends… How could any man cause his friend such pain?"

Merlin automatically reached out to her, steadying her as her crying escalated. "I'm sure he didn't mean to. His false beliefs about magic just blind him to the harm he does-"

"I don't care! I hate him!" she sobbed. "He'll hate me too when he learns I have magic… No doubt he'll murder me as he murdered my mother."

Merlin held her tighter. "No he won't."

"You think not?" Morgana made a hysterical little sound that was half sob, half scornful laugh. "You said yourself that he is consumed by his hatred; he will feel no differently about me merely because I'm his ward. In fact that will probably only rile him more."

"I don't doubt it, but he isn't going to harm you. I won't allow it."

"You can't stop him."

"I can. Trust me, Morgana, Uther Pendragon is no match for me."

Morgana believed him; Merlin's demeanor had turned uncharacteristically dark, and there was a look in his eyes that riveted and even frightened her a little - a look of power. There was unfathomable magic behind those eyes, and if he ever unleashed it she doubted anyone in Albion could stand against him. She also doubted Uther would be foolish enough to challenge Merlin if he saw this side of the warlock, but she knew too that the king of Camelot would never allow his will to be thwarted by a sorcerer.

"What can he do about it?" Merlin asked when she told him as much.

"He can disown me. Without my connections to the house of Pendragon, the alliance that was meant to be forged through our marriage could not come to pass. You would have no reason to fight for me then."

"I still wouldn't let him kill you. I'd take you anyway, Pendragon ward or not."

"I doubt your father would let you."

Merlin snickered. "He couldn't very well stop me. After all, you're of noble blood whether Uther disowns you or not, and he married a commoner."

Morgana's eyes widened.

"Didn't I tell you my mother grew up in a small village where there were no castles? Father met her after she'd left home to become a priestess and fell in love with her. My grandfather approved because she brought powerful magic to our bloodline - among the nobility in this kingdom that's considered as good a reason as any to marry someone." Merlin rolled his eyes; the nobility (including some of his own forebears) cared a little too much about their magical lineage if you asked him, and the idea of trying to breed better sorcerers as if they were horses was simply ridiculous. "Come to think of it, I could probably get Father to let me marry you for the same reason."

Morgana arched her eyebrows. "Really? I just got the impression that it isn't a valid one in your opinion."

"I think it's a stupid way of choosing who you marry," Merlin agreed. "I'm not above making use of the prevailing attitude if it gets me what I want, though."

"Dear Lord, you're serious. There really is nothing that could induce you to give me up, is there?" When he replied that there was not, Morgana said, "Merlin, as touching as I find your loyalty, you must know Uther would take it as a grave insult if he cast me out and you still married me. He might even start another war over it. What would become of your destiny with Arthur then?"

"Morgana… Since I don't have the gift of prophecy, I don't know how Arthur and I will unite Albion or even if we can… The one thing I do know is that if I turn my back on a girl who needs my help, then I'm not worthy of even attempting such a thing. I'll do whatever it takes to protect you…and I'll just have to hope Arthur will understand."

"I see. Yes, you're right of course." Morgana couldn't help feeling a bit disappointed that even as he vowed to defend her from Uther, he worried over what Arthur would think of his course of action. Then she felt embarrassed. Merlin and Arthur were friends - of course Merlin cared about his opinion, just as he cared about hers, his father's, and those of his other friends. It was incredibly selfish of her, not to mention arrogant, to expect Merlin not to care about anyone besides her.

While she chastised herself, Merlin poured himself a drink from the pitcher of water on his desk and tried to think of a way out of the mess they found themselves in. "You know, our situation may not be as dire as we're making it out to be. Yes, Uther will be outraged when he finds out his ward has magic…but what if he doesn't find out? You haven't told anyone else what you told me, have you?"

"Who else would I tell? Arthur, Gwen…I can't imagine how they would look at me…"

"Then we'll keep it between ourselves. No one else has to know - well, almost no one. Someone has to teach you to control your powers before you hurt yourself."

"Could you not do that?" Morgana had felt a huge weight fall off her shoulders when Merlin proposed keeping her magic secret; subconsciously she'd already begun to dread her friends' reactions - especially Gwen's, since magic had taken her best friend's father. Now the prospect of sharing her secret with someone else brought that fear rushing back.

"Me? Oh, no."

"But you're Emrys! Who knows the ways of magic better than you?"

"I know the ways of my magic," Merlin gently corrected her. "Knowing something and passing on your knowledge are very different. I'm not qualified to be your teacher, but I know someone who is. She's a friend, so she might agree to train you as a favor to me even though she's not looking for a student just now."

"And is this friend trustworthy? Remember, Merlin, the more people you tell about my magic, the greater the chance of it getting back to Uther."

Merlin laughed. "Don't worry; the person I have in mind would die before breathing a word to Uther. In fact, I bet she'll enjoy teaching his ward magic behind his back. She doesn't live nearby, so traveling to her home will take some time; I should leave without delay."

"You can't! What if something else happens while you're gone?"

"I don't think you need to worry about that. Your magic is still weak enough that these accidental outbursts exhaust it for at least a day. I should return before it's recovered." Morgana still looked nervous, and Merlin couldn't think how to calm her. He'd already assured her that the likelihood of her facing another magical mishap without him was minimal; what more could he say? Of course, he knew one way of soothing frightened girls that usually worked better than words, but the wisdom of it was highly questionable. I've already said I'll fight Uther over her if necessary - that wasn't very wise. Where was my caution and pragmatism then? To hell with it!

He crossed the short distance between them in two long strides and, ignoring her startled exclamation, wrapped his arms around her. Morgana melted into his embrace. For the first time in days, she felt completely safe, completely secure in the knowledge that no harm could come to her while she had Merlin to shield her from it. Somehow the man even kept her inner demons at bay, and she wished they could stay here like this forever. "Merlin, I-"

Her doomed attempt at finding words to convey her feelings was cut short when Merlin kissed her forehead. His lips remained pressed to her skin for several long moments, setting her nerves afire until her brain felt cooked to useless mush. When he finally stopped kissing her, she could do nothing more than stare into his eyes like some besotted simpleton.

It occurred to Merlin, as his gaze passed over her upturned face and landed on her slightly parted lips, that he could easily kiss her mouth as well as her forehead, but he forced the notion from his mind. Kissing her while she was in such an emotionally vulnerable state would feel like taking advantage of her, and he would never do that.

Morgana was dismayed when he let go of her, then confused when he threw open his bedroom window and climbed onto its sill. "What are you doing?"

"I'm going to visit my friend and ask for her help."

"You're leaving through the window?"

"Last time I tried sneaking out the other way, Gwaine caught me."

"Merlin, the fall will kill you!" But even as the words left her mouth, Merlin's body twisted and collapsed in on itself, feathers sprouted from his skin, and suddenly there was a small bird where her fiancé had stood a moment ago.

I'll see you soon, Morgana. Then he flew off into the night.

Morgana hurried to the window to see if she could discern in which direction he was heading, but the moonless night had already swallowed his dark-feathered form. She closed the window and sank onto the window seat where Merlin liked to read, feeling cold and lonely without him. Mostly, though, she just felt empty, drained of every last scrap of physical and mental energy by the tribulations this night had brought. The thought of walking all the way back to her chambers made her head spin…but there was a perfectly good bed only a few feet away. Merlin isn't using it - he won't mind…

Forcing herself to her feet, she staggered across the room and crawled into Merlin's bed, which Will had unmade just in case Merlin decided to be reasonable and get some rest. The bedclothes smelled like him, so Morgana burrowed into his pillow and pulled the covers over her head. Surrounded by warmth and Merlin's faint scent, she instantly fell into an exhausted sleep too deep for her nightmares to penetrate.

So who's Merlin going to see? I'll give a prize to anyone who can guess. I also really want to know what you think about Morgana's reason for being afraid of what magic would do to her. Believable? I think seeing her mother burned at the stake for using magic would leave a strong impression on a little girl, and now to find out Uther's whole rationale for talking Gorlois into it was bullshit… Next time Uther and Morgana meet, it won't be pretty.