{Author notes}

I am a dirty, dirty internet writer.

This story was to be short and quick, and now it's literally taken me a year to finish this blasted story.

I feel so ashamed #FEELSBADMAN

Anywho, I must take up my silly pen once more and attempt humor that I have not got into for a year.

It was a bright and sunny day!

"Flee! Flee! The apocalypse is upon us! … How was that?" A male student asked.

"Really good. I really sensed the despair, the hopelessness. You've got a good chance in the play." A girl student responded.

Just then, Jaune Arc and Neptune Vasilias came running into the stage looking very horrified and panicked.

Jaune stopped in front of them and shouted.

"ARE YOU PEOPLE ALL MAD!? WHY DOES THOU ALL SIT HERE AND DAWDLE AS THE COMING EVIL THREATHENS TO RIP US ASUNDER!? ESCAPE AND COWER BEFORE THE ELDER HORRORS ENSLAVE THY SOULS AND RIP OFF YOUR BALLS!"

"DAMMIT JAUNE, DON'T GET INSANE ON ME YET! I STILL NEED YOU!" Neptune ran back and slapped Jaune in the face before shaking him violently.

The two heard a sound before they both bolted out on the opposite side of the stage.

"… That was brilliant!" The girl director cried out. "Whoever they were, they get the part!"

"Aww man…" The previous guy sadly said before he noticed two very angry girls running through the stage.

At their appearance, (And Amount of Aura Bloodlust) the entire student auditions fled the scene.

I, The Line Break, am becoming self aware!

~Rolling around at the speed of sound, get places to go, gotta follow my rain—oh.

You all are back. Uhh, what took you so long? What? What do you mean I'm late? … I'm not late, you're just early! Yeah! … One year early… dang you guys are dedicated.

Wait, why was I singing? I thought it would be a proper music as Jaune and Neptune ran across the school of Beacon avoiding hails of ice and lead.

I mean it's pretty obvious why i would start singing that: fast moving people, one of them is blonde and the other person has spiky(ish) blue hai-

"GET BACK HERE!"

Though I suppose ice and lead are much preferable than being caught by those other two at the moment.

"Jaune," Neptune looked towards the blonde boy who was not his teammate—why did blonde males always get him in so much trouble? "What do we do!? I don't want to die!"

Jaune quickly started to think as if his life depended on it. Correction, he just started to think since his life depended on it. "Aha! I got a plan!"

Neptune smiled perhaps Jaune would get them out of this jam after all!

The other blonde quickly took out his scroll. "I'll call Pyrrha for help!"

JAUNE WAIT NO YOU FOO

Notice me Senpai!

"Sorry, I haven't seen Jaune today," Sun said nonchalantly before thinking a bit harder on this next part. "So do you two think you can let me go now? I think the blood is rushing to my head."

If one was wondering, Sun Wukong was hung upside down from a tree since a spear was pinning his pants. He'd like to think that he was open minded fellow, liked to even shrug off racial slurs that were pointed to him or his kind. But he couldn't help but wonder why Ruby Rose and Pyrrha Nikos would pin him to the tree in the first place before asking him strange questions about Jaune Arc.

"So you don't know where Arc is?" Ruby's voice was surprisingly threatening even though she was sitting in a giant spinning chair while stroking on Zwei's head. And the dog himself was sleeping on Ruby's lap.

"I say he's lying." Pyrrha said with a hint of danger in her voice. "Why don't we feed him to the Grimm, it'll be a great appetizer before we give them Jaune's corpse."

"Huh that sounds… cruel and unusual." Sun mentioned as he noticed Ruby actually considering it. He wondered if he was dreaming a very surreal dream or such.

Then Pyrrha received a scroll call. "It's him." She almost venomously spat.

"Wait you two didn't try calling him earlier?" Sun asked but then was silenced as the two girls in red sent their death glares at him.

"Hello… Jaune..." Pyrrha started off in a cold and unfeeling manner that almost sounded hot and attractive to the receiver in the other end if not for his current predicament.

"Pyrrha, help! Weiss and Blake are about to kill us!" The frantic voice said.

"Ruby, your teammates are going to beat us to the punch! Stay alive, meat bag, you will die by my hand!" Pyrrha exclaimed before shutting the phone.

"Oh Monty! Jaune, they found us!" Neptune's familiar voice sounded out the second before Pyrrha closed it, catching the attention of Sun.

With that, the two were gone in a red flash, and Sun was released from being held form a tree.

"Hmm. Something tells me I need to go over there and either stop them from doing what I think they were implying heavily…" Or you could go watch and see how it all turns out? "Or I could go watch for the fun of it and see how it plays out? The second option sound more fun."

Back with Jaune, he wondered why Pyrrha was shouting. Amazingly, through the blood curdling screams of two different girls, he could only hear the words, 'stay alive'.

"Our friends are on our way!" Jaune cried out as he yelped and avoided an ice shard going up his behind.

The blue haired boy cried out. "But what do we do until then!?"

"Jaune, let's see how you like it once I replace your hair with the color red of your blood!"

"Neptune, let's see how you like being hit with a blunt object!"

"Running has kept us alive so far, so do that!" Jaune screamed as they both turned a corner. At the same time someone seemed to be catching up to them. The two males were surprised to see Professor Oobleck in shorts, sweat shirt, a head band while he was holding up his coffee mug and a piece of paper in his hands.

"Ahh! Mr. Arc, Mr. Vasilias! A fine day to be jogging along the prestigious and expansive grounds of Beacon, isn't it?" He spoke along with them, somehow ignoring the look of fear in their eyes. "I see you have both found a partner in running! That is quite refreshing to see two intimate young men being sweaty and gasping for breath with each other!"

"Professor Help!" Jaune cried out. "Blake and Weiss are going to kill us!"

"Hahaha! Quite the sense of humor you have on you, Mr Arc! I must go now; my jogging path needs me! Whhoooooo…" The strange hyperactive professor ran ahead as he made a strange sound.

"The heck is wrong with your school!?" Neptune cried out before ducking from a fire blast.

Jaune side stepped then jumped over a black ribbon trying to wrap his feet. "I have no idea!"

"Jaune?" The two guys looked over to see Ren running right beside them. "I am glad to see your… unharmed. But what is going on?" He looked back at the increasingly accelerating black and white themed girls of Team RWBY. "Why is Weiss's hair dyed like my own?"

"Uhh…"

Ren shook his head before trying to run faster. "Look no time! We have to go after Doctor Oobleck he has the letter!"

"Wait what!?" Jaune and Neptune asked out loud.

"We have to catch him before he reads it! Come on!" Ren shouted as all three boys made a sharp right turn after the professor.

No one LOVES Senpai more than me… Senpai! Senpai! NOTICE ME!

Cinder was quite amused about herself as she watched Mercury and Emerald go after Sun Wukong.

Now if her underlings would do their work just fine, she would be free to finessing the finer details of her—

"Bark!"

Cinder looked over and saw a small corgi looking at her with a drool running down on its face.

"Bark! Bark!"

Cinder rolled her eyes and briefly scanned the area. The flame woman raised her hand… and set the dog ablaze in an instant.

She hated mangy mutts.

"Bark!"

Cinder blinked and looked back at what she expected to be the charred ashy remains of a dog.

But it was still on fire.

And it wasn't dead.

In fact… it looked more like it wasn't being affected by the flames.

"What?" Cinder raised her brow at the sight.

"Bark!" The corgi moved closer to her, and the flames started spreading on the grass.

She didn't want to get burned, and she quickly yelled. "Stay back!"

The dog was still panting normally despite the flames around him growing larger.

Cinder stared into the deep beady eyes of the dog. Why was this dog immune to fire? Why was it coming closer to her!? No… it couldn't be! She didn't believe in myths! There was no such thing as Hell Hounds, beings of the underworld sent as supreme avengers to those with dark hearts! She didn't believe in magic! She believed in facts like being able to propel yourself with bullets and magic colored rocks with the ability to manipulate time because—(F-you that's why!)

"No! I will not be denied my wrath! Away with you Hound of Hell! My vengeance shall not be stopped!" Cinder drew her bows and arrows as Zwei started rolling on the ground and spreading more fire.

At the sight of Cinder's arrows; however, Zwei got up and wagged his tail excitedly.

He loved playing fetch.

LOVE ME SENP— *WHACK!*

See this is what happens when a year goes by.

Any who, it looks like our heroes are all in over their heads as they come back to the main plot about (Getting) finding the letter! Will Jaune, Ren, and Neptune succeed? Will the blue haired man from Mistrial stab them in the back once he finds the letter? Will Weiss keep her hair pink? Will Cinder have the game of fetch she never wanted as a kid? And will all the cool people stop dying already!? (RIP Alan Rickman and David Bowie.) Seriously God!? First Monty and Satoru Iwata, now Alan Rickman and David Bowie!? Why are you taking the good ones so soon dang it!?

So tune in 2018 when the next chapter of this (not) exciting story comings out! (Or when another influential pop culture figure dies that I have to dedicate the next chapter to in order to be motivated.)