"Let's go." Levi said and ran, jumping in the air before launching his gear and disappearing into the forest.
"Coming!" I yelled and went after him, trying to keep up with his incredible speed.
It's around 9am, just after breakfast time and Levi had planned a one on one training with me in order to prepare me solely for the expedition, since it's just around the corner. Quickly I realize that even though I was able to put up some resistance against him during hand combat, he masters the gear like no other. He is in complete control of his body and I watch in awe as he moves effortlessly in the air and alongside the trees.
"Rather focus on your surroundings than on me." He said as he looked over his shoulder.
I didn't intend to stare, not in that way at least. A flush of embarrassment rose to my cheeks and I did as he advised, taking in my surroundings and focusing on my movements.
He then landed on branch and I jumped next to him. "Time to teach you the more specific and finer methods of handling the maneuver gear." He took a step behind me. "Draw your blades." He instructed and I did, he wrapped his hands around mine, slightly turning them in a different angle. "Look forward; imagine a Titan is reaching out for you, what do you do?"
Confused I looked over my shoulder to him. "Obviously kill it." I reasoned.
"No shit, but how." He tried again.
I looked ahead and tried to imagine a Titan in front of me, its hand hungrily reaching out, ready to crush and devour me. "I would escape to the left or right and th-"
"He already got you with his other hand you didn't see coming." He interrupted my thoughts.
"Then I'd retreat and come after it when a better opportunity arises."
"Retreating isn't an option."
I groaned in annoyance. This way I can think of thousands of scenarios and none of it will be perfectly suitable. "What's the point of envisioning this? In a time of distress and situations between life and death you always act differently upon that moment." I sighed and felt his grip tightening.
"Not entirely, during critical moments you will act upon how you've mentally visualized things like this. Maybe not consciously, but your movements will improve."
"That's what you do?"
"Used to. I've fought so many mindless Titans I can pinpoint their actions, how fast they are, what move they will make next. Aberrants are a pain in the ass though."
"Oh, they told us about those during class." I recalled but realize I only remember the term. "Exactly what was so different about them?" I asked hesitantly.
He pulled his brow up. "Haven't paid attention?" He asked and I shrugged. "In short, Aberrants are different in behavior, some pay attention to a certain person in a group, some ignore humans altogether. The most dangerous types are the ones that have a more precise body movement."
"Right... that's scary." I said as I imagine a Titan that moves more like a human.
"Now, an aberrant is standing before you and reaching out. What do you do?"
I focused again as I imagine everything in front of me. A big ass titan that's blocking my only escape route. Instinctively I lift my blades in front of me. "Biggest mistake people make, with your blades like that it'll take too much time to reposition and strike." Levi explains and takes control over my hands.
"Place your hands like this." He held one crossed in front of me and the other pointed backwards. "If a titan is standing there you should try to launch your cables at it and move forward at full speed." He looked at me and I nodded in understanding. "If you don't have the time to do that use your gas only, it's powerful enough to lift you without the cables." He now stood behind me and moved my arms in a rotating motion. "When there's no way out, you spin in the air at full speed. If you do it correctly and fast enough you will pierce through the Titan without getting injured."
"Oh." I breathed out. "I understand. With the blades around me I will go through it and at the same time I defend myself."
"Exactly." He let go of my hands and stood beside me.
"Learn me more?" I asked eagerly and he did. Teaching me all kinds of tricks and how he handles situations. Unlike in class, I now attentively watched him talk and explain. We went over the same movements a hundred times till I perfected them. Right now he reminds me of myself. This is how I used to train with April, I observed while she breathlessly had to perfect the moves. During training she would be irritated and quick tempered, I didn't pay attention and told her to keep moving no matter what. Precisely that is what Levi is doing. Knowing exactly where he is going, what his goal is, I obeyed without second thought. He looked in his element, after all this is what he's been doing for the last few years, fighting Titans in the name of humanity.
"Jaclyn?" He said and suddenly his face was extremely close to mine.
"What?" I asked confused.
"Did you listen?"
"Uhhh." I hummed trying to remember his last words but to no success.
He pressed his index finger against my forehead and pushed me slightly backwards. "Pay attention, otherwise we're done here."
I nodded. "Right, sorry." I said followed by a soft unintentional yawn.
"Let's take a break." He said and sat down, checking over his equipment.
My thoughts wandered back to the encounter with him and Eldo in the forest. Until now I had still waited for a better opportunity to question him but I was still dubious whether to do so. It's only natural I'm curious, right?
"Levi." I started and waited for his eyes to meet mine before I continued. "Did you recognize April?" I asked straightforward.
He parted his lips but it took a while before he answered. "She reminded me of someone."
"Who? Maybe I know him or her."
"Not a chance." He said and looked away. "She's not here anymore."
Maybe it was just me but I think I could detect some sort of emotion in his voice, he sounded sad. Was she someone important to him? Is it appropriate to question him further? While I was wondering whether to talk or not he answered them for me.
"Her name was Isabel, we used to live underground."
My eyes widened at the new information. Levi, lived underground once? If that's really true, how come I've never heard of it. Kay at least should've found out when digging in his past.
"We were accepted into the survey corps but... they died on a expedition, I was the only survivor."
"They?"
"My other friend, they both got killed by a Titan." He explained.
I was lost for words, still trying to take in this new information. "I'm sorry for your loss." I said softly. "I really am."
His eyes left mine and he concentrated back on his gear. I would've never guessed that such an important person within the Survey Corps once lived underground. I wonder, what this friend of him looked like, was she the same energetic type as April or was it just the looks.
Kay and April crossed my mind... I'm leaving for the expedition soon and they still have no clue. As much as it feels like a relief, I can feel the weight upon my shoulders, the pressure of making it back alive. It makes me all the more determined but still it feels wrong keeping it a secret from them. If I was in their place and found out, I'd be furious and if they ever find out, I'm sure they will be too.
Suddenly I understood Levi's words.
I once made the same mistake of bringing my friends to Survey Corps. I wanted to give you the chance to do the right thing.
Is that the reason he let us go? To think again, because the chance one of us dies is extremely great.
"How did you succeeded in leaving the underground?" He then asked, breaking the silence.
His question caught me off guard. Truth is, it was a simple break in, but upon an unfortunate series of events it had turned out ugly, authorities got involved and people unnecessarily died. I grimaced as memories flooded to the surface. Kay, who back then was not my friend was also involved.
When it took a while for me to answer, he looked away. "I guess I have somewhat an idea. I know things are ugly down there, one doesn't successfully escape unless..."
"Unless you take on a nasty job." I finished the sentence, hoping with that I have said enough.
He nodded in agreement. That fact that he understands it means that he himself most likely has done something bad in order to receive enough money for citizenship above. However, I can't imagine he made it all the way out just so he could join the Survey Corps.
He didn't question me further and I'm grateful for that. Others, especially Jonah and Hanji seem to have difficulties knowing what and when to ask something. When it comes to this, the underground, I understand Levi and he understands me. It's the first time since leaving the underground that I felt some sort of understanding even though we barely exchanged words.
He sat down against the tree trunk. One leg pulled upwards as he rested his arm on it. "Neutral towards Titans huh?" He suddenly spoke again, this time with a slight smirk on his face.
Startled I look up to him but I know exactly where this is going. Fine, forget what I said. I don't want to go over this again as I received what felt like hundred questions during dinner. On top of that a Jonah that couldn't stop laughing at me.
"You know, I had to same mindset. I resented the way things worked up here, the military, names, power and positions." He counted them on his fingers. "Titans didn't occupy my mind."
"When you're on the verge of dying like the majority of the people down there... why would you." I said. "It's weird hearing that from you though, says the man who's famous as a Survey Corps member that killed numerous of Titans."
"I guess so." He looked up, to the leaves that hid the view of the sky. "When they kill someone you care about, your way of thinking shifts. Majority of the people within the Survey Corps are driven by wanting to avenge a dead friend, family member or maybe lover."
Soon enough I had realized that. I remember Yuza saying he signed up for trainees because he lost everything to the Titans, Jonah had lost his father and wanted to avenge him in his own way. With that mentality, hearing me speak about Titans the way I did when in the dining hall, I now understand for the slightest why they were that tempered and outraged. Still, I stand by my opinion.
"I can imagine, however, I don't have many people I care that much about. Not within the Survey Corps at least." I also looked up and focused on the rustling of the leaves. "So I'll wonder if that will ever become a driving force."
"I hope it stays like that." He breathes out as he looks back down. "Ready to go for another round?" He stands and pulls me up.
"Sure."
We trained till late afternoon and in a way I was very thankful for this. He wasn't commanding me around but rather showing me how to improve, all for my own sake. The sun had shifted from east to south and I guessed around five hours had passed since we started. When our stomachs' started rambling we decided it's time to head back.
"Thank you for this training, I'm sure it'll help a lot out there." I said sincerely, the words of appreciation sounded foreign coming from my mouth.
"I don't want you dying on me." He said. "Not under my command."
Feelings of guilt washed over me. Something I haven't felt for a long time. I used to be merciless but now I find myself nearly doubting the job I took on. I'm going to kill the man that just said he wanted to keep me alive, but I realize very well I can't turn back now. Knowing that someone from the Ross family is behind this, it'll be my death if I left it unfinished. I pushed my thoughts away, overthinking it won't help me one bit, and since it could take another year until I get the order to actually do it, I might as well let time pass peacefully. I won't think about it till I have to. For now I need to focus on staying alive.