Wow, 50th chapter - I've never had a story make it to 50 before! Having reached this landmark (after many, MANY hours of typing and even more of staring at the computer screen in frustration while waiting for words to come to me) I want to thank all of you who have stuck with me this long. I doubt TSB would've made it this far without you guys.
"It's the venom I'm worried about."
"Venom?" Morgana asked, her voice rising in alarm. "And how potent is this venom?"
"Nothing to worry about…if you get the antidote in time. Unfortunately for me, the antidote isn't a naturally occurring substance, and none of the vital ingredients needed to make it can be found in the Forest Perilous."
"What does that mean? What happens to people who don't take the antidote?" Merlin looked away, seemingly reluctant to answer, but Morgana refused to be put off. "Tell me, or I'll assume it's far worse than it really is."
"Left untreated, serket stings kill in a matter of hours."
"Exactly how long is that?"
"I don't-"
"How long?"
"It varies. Nobody's ever lasted longer than eighteen hours after getting stung."
"And we're still days away from the end of this forest. We'll never make it in time!"
"No, I don't expect we will." Merlin leaned back against the tree Morgana had recently taken refuge in.
"Unless… Teach me the relocation spell you used to get us out of Morgause's castle. I've already projected my mind into the Isle of the Blessed to speak with Nimueh, so moving our bodies shouldn't be too much of a challenge."
"Actually it is; the spells are completely different. Projecting your mind through space is easy for seers since you do something similar every time you have a vision, except your consciousness moves through time instead. Moving physical matter is much more complicated - you have to disassemble it, send it to the place you want, and then put it back together. You aren't ready to do that with only yourself, let alone both of us; if you tried, we'd either be torn apart or end up with our parts all mixed up. Now, that might make me better-looking, but I don't think you'd like it at all."
She banged her fist on the ground, sending up a fine spray of dirt. "How can you be so calm! Do you want to die?"
"Of course I don't, but panicking will only quicken my heart and spread the poison faster. Besides, this isn't such a bad way to go."
"Serket venom is painless?" Morgana asked hopefully.
"No, it causes a slow, agonizing death - but at least you're here. I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend my last night on earth with."
"But I don't want this to be your last night! I want to spend the rest of my life with you!"
"Me too, although technically I will spend the rest of my life with you; it just won't be as long as I'd hoped."
"Stop it!" she screamed. "Stop being so glib, as if the end of your life doesn't matter, because it does! Merlin…how will the kingdom go on without you? What about your destiny to unite Albion with Arthur?"
A shadow of regret passed over his face. "It's too bad I won't get a chance to do that…but Arthur will still have you. You can accomplish everything I wanted to, Morgana; you'll be the greatest queen this land has ever had."
She shook her head with such force that her tears were flung off into space. "I don't want a throne, not if you aren't there to share it with me. How will I go on without you?"
"You will. You- Look at me, Morgana." He lifted her head, forcing her to meet his determined gaze. "You're the strongest woman I know; you've survived things that would break a weaker person, but you never let what you've endured harden your heart. You're still compassionate and loyal…and brave, and smart, and you've held on to those qualities in spite of being born into a world where the only thing you need to get by is your pretty face." His eyes suddenly bored into hers with almost unbearable intensity. "Promise me you won't ever change, Morgana - that you'll never let the world make you less than you are."
He wasn't speaking only of people who saw no value in her beyond her beauty, she realized; he was asking her not to let herself become bitter over losing him. She didn't know if that was a promise she could make. Granted, she had never expected to find true love, yet she had found it with Merlin. How could anyone not feel bitter when they were given such a gift only to have it snatched away? All she could promise was, "I'll try." And try she would, because the last thing she wanted was to devalue what they had by letting sorrow and resentment twist her into a hollow shell of the woman he loved. How could she then face him in the afterlife, knowing he would be disappointed in her? "I don't know if I can live in a world that doesn't have you in it, but I swear to you I will try."
"You can do anything you set your mind to." Merlin's thumb swiped over her cheek, wiping away a fresh wave of tears. "Besides, I'm not dead yet - maybe we'll be rescued, and get home in time for Alice to treat my wound."
"Do you really think so?"
"Only the dragons could travel that distance before it's too late, and the chances of one of them finding us under all these trees are slim at best, but there's always a chance. I haven't given up hope yet."
"Yet a moment ago you spoke as if your death were a certainty!" Morgana exclaimed, confused and annoyed at him for making her accept his death as inevitable when it might not be - but mostly she just felt so hopeful it hurt even though she knew getting her hopes up in a nearly hopeless situation was incredibly foolish.
Merlin shrugged. "I thought you needed to hear the things I said, so in case I do die I wanted to say them before I'm in too much pain to think straight."
"Are you in pain now?" At his nod, she asked, "What can I do? Even if I can't concoct the antidote, there must be something…"
"Just distract me. Keep talking."
"What you said - when you told me my qualities - was the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me."
"It's the truth."
"A truth most of the men I've known remain sadly unaware of. No one else sees me the way you do, Merlin…or if they do, they see the fact that I have a brain as a liability rather than an asset. I'll never find another man who admires me for being such a far cry from a proper lady, so you had better stay alive. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever forgive you for leaving me."
Merlin frowned slightly. "That's very cruel, condemning me to die with the knowledge that I've earned your anger." The truth was, he wouldn't be able to forgive himself for leaving Morgana alone either. She could be great, but he knew she had a long way to go before reaching her full potential, and he was meant to be her guide, protector, and companion - Kilgharrah said he was supposed to be those things for Arthur, but Merlin had come to see that while he might share his life and his rule with Arthur, Morgana was his soulmate, the one he shared everything with.
He, like Morgana, had never anticipated finding someone who completed his life the way she did. Unlike her, he wasn't angry about their time together being cut short, merely thankful that he'd had the opportunity to know her at all, though he suspected his outlook would be different if he were the one facing a lifetime without her.
"Oh, I doubt I could truly stay angry with you forever. I used to get very angry with my father for getting himself killed and leaving me with the Pendragons, yet I knew if he somehow returned to me I wouldn't care that he'd left me; I would be overjoyed to see him again."
"Same with me and my mother - I used to resent her taking it on herself to root out Alvarr's band of renegades when we had a whole army that could have dealt with them…"
His voice trailed off, and Morgana leaned in, concerned. "Merlin?"
"It's all right, I'm just tired. I think I'd like to sleep awhile."
"Is that wise? Shouldn't I keep you awake?"
"It won't make a difference in how the poison spreads whether I'm awake or asleep. You're only supposed to stay awake if you have a concussion… Oh wait, I've got one of those too, but I doubt brain damage will kill me before the serket's venom does."
"I'm so glad you can joke about this," Morgana huffed.
"Come over here." Merlin took hold of her arm and pulled her closer.
Morgana folded herself into the sleeping position she had grown familiar with during their travels, but her body remained rigidly tense; she was determined to stay awake for whatever time Merlin had left. She didn't want to watch him die, but she couldn't bear the thought of him slipping away in the night without her knowing - not having the chance to say goodbye would be worse than carrying the memory of his last moments for the rest of her days. The terror of being chased by serkets after a long day of nonstop walking had tired her, though, and her eyes kept sliding shut in spite of her determination to keep them open. She pinched herself each time this happened, silently cursing her uncooperative body…until she jolted awake for what felt like the hundredth time without the accompanying pain. I must have dozed off again, she thought dazedly; it felt like she had been asleep for quite some time, yet nowhere near long enough.
Her suspicion was confirmed when she saw that a new day had dawned. She must have slept for hours - hours in which Merlin's condition had surely worsened. "Merlin?" Morgana sat up, throwing off the arm draped over her, and shook him. He didn't respond. His forehead was too hot for him to be dead, but he was barely breathing - she had to press her ear to his chest to feel his heartbeat, which was too faint to be detected by any other method - and his skin had already taken on the ashy gray coloring of a corpse.
"Merlin! Merlin, wake up, please wake up! Please don't leave me!" Morgana shook him harder and even slapped him, but she knew it was no use - a person this close to death would not regain consciousness. A thunderous crashing from above reached her ears but she ignored it, not caring if the forest was being demolished. Whatever natural disaster was taking place was unimportant compared to the inescapable fact that Merlin's life was about to end…and if she was lucky, a falling tree would crush her and she would die with him.
The trees didn't fall on Morgana, however; instead, the tops of several were ripped off, showering her and Merlin with leaves and letting in a dazzling shaft of sunlight that pierced the forest's gloom like a spear of pure gold. Blinded by the unexpected light, Morgana didn't see the shape spiraling down inside the sunbeam. Its landing shook the earth, and then a new shade materialized overhead, muting the sunlight.
Morgana finally tore her eyes off Merlin's nearly lifeless form and squinted up at the intruder. "Kilgharrah? Merlin's been stung by a serket and I fear he's near death - please, can you do anything?"
"I can if you move out of the way, witch," the Great Dragon rumbled.
She scrambled away from Merlin, tripping over her skirt's tattered hem in her haste. Kilgharrah lowered his enormous head and breathed a stream of warm air over the unconscious sorcerer. It seemed to revitalize him somewhat, but he still didn't wake. "Is that it? Will he recover now?"
"What I have done will keep him alive long enough to reach the palace, but he requires the proper medicine and rest - a great deal of the latter, I suspect - to heal completely." Kilgharrah lifted Merlin in a taloned forepaw with a gentleness Morgana would never have imagined from such a fearsome beast, then turned his huge eyes on her.
She sighed impatiently. "Knowing what you believe about my destiny, I imagine you're loath to take me back to the very place you wanted me cast out of, and I have no wish to waste precious time arguing with you. Leave me to make my own way home if you must, just get Merlin there so Alice can cure him before it's too late. Please!" she added forcefully when Kilgharrah showed no sign of taking flight.
Still he stared at her, pondering what to do. On the one hand, he was tempted to leave her here, and yet… Judging by her obvious love for Merlin and the way she so readily put his welfare before her own, perhaps there was hope for her after all. Besides, Merlin would undoubtedly be very angry if he woke up to find that Kilgharrah had abandoned the witch in a dangerous place so far from home, and he had no desire to incur the wrath of his future dragonlord. "The time will come when I will ask you to make a great sacrifice for Merlin's sake, and the sake of all Albion, but that time is not yet upon us, little witch. Climb on my back, and I shall carry you home." He flattened himself on the ground and positioned his free forepaw so that Morgana could use his talons as steps.
She climbed up and seated herself at the base of his long, serpentine neck. His wings rose into the air - she caught a momentary glimpse of the sun shining through the translucent membranes on either side - then swept downward, and they shot toward the sky. The force of their ascent flattened Morgana against his scaly hide; she was only able to sit up once he leveled out, but then she was buffeted by wind so strong that she decided it was easier to crouch over his neck.
The air was thinner at this altitude, leaving her breathless, and no wonder - when she looked down, intending to check that Merlin was still secure in Kilgharrah's grasp, she was astonished to see clouds below. She saw the sun too, so close it was like a giant fireball hanging in the sky. "Oh my… Is it really necessary for you to fly this high?"
Kilgharrah chuckled. "Do not worry, little witch, I shan't drop you."
To her surprise, Morgana realized the thought of him dropping her had never crossed her mind; maybe it should have, yet she felt safe with him. She supposed the fact that he shared her concern for Merlin made him seem trustworthy, even though his perfectly timed arrival was just a touch suspicious. "How did you find us?"
He explained how Balinor had dispatched the dragons to search for them. "Since Merlin delights in making my life difficult, I reasoned that he would be in the one place where reaching him would be most troublesome. With him, nothing is ever easy," Kilgharrah grumbled.
###
Their flight seemed to last an eternity; by the time Kilgharrah began his descent, what little energy Morgana had gained from the few hours' sleep she'd had the night before had deserted her. She needed to sleep again, preferably in a real bed, without fear for Merlin or of being eaten by some wild animal nagging at her subconscious. First, though, she needed a bath - every inch of her skin was smudged with dirt, her hair was a mass of tangles with bits of leaves and twigs in it, her fingernails were torn and jagged, and her once-fine dress had been reduced to rags.
Ordinarily, she would have been humiliated to be seen in such a state when they landed in a courtyard packed with nearly every noble currently in the castle, but she couldn't bring herself to care about their opinions just now, not when Balinor and Alice took Merlin away and Arthur and Gwen stopped her from following. "Let me go! I need to stay with Merlin!"
"No, you don't," Arthur said firmly. "Listen to me, Morgana - Alice is with him right now, and she can do more for him than you can. You've already done your part, so let us take care of you now, all right?"
Morgana slowly calmed down as Arthur's words penetrated the haze of exhaustion blanketing her mind. "All right. Yes, please do."
"Excellent." He picked her up and carried her inside the castle. "I'll take you to your chambers, and Gwen can get you cleaned up."
Gwen heard that and snagged Freya out of the crowd, thinking that the task of cleaning Morgana up might take some magic.
Our heroes are now out of hot water, hooray - and the countdown to the wedding begins! Yes, after all it's taken to get here, there will be an actual wedding…in two or three chapters, I think. Meanwhile, the next chapter will see the return of a familiar (and very cute) face.