This chapter is pretty much all about dealing with the fallout from the last one - not what I had planned, but the reaction the last chapter got seemed to demand it. I have to admit I was surprised at how strongly some of you felt about something that didn't seem like a big deal to me, but to each their own. For those who disagreed with the direction I decided to take this story in, I do appreciate that all of you did so in a civil manner, and even raised some valid points that I've addressed here.
Morgana had just concealed the newly minted dragonsword, which Kilgharrah had dubbed Excalibur, in her chambers and charged Aithusa with guarding it when her door banged open and Freya ran inside, wide-eyed and panting. "Lady Morgana! Lady Morgana…I thought you should know…Merlin…" She cut herself off, gasping for air.
Morgana felt as if a giant fist had squeezed her heart. She had just been with him a few short hours ago, and he had looked better even if he was still unconscious, so surely he hadn't… No, she wouldn't even let the thought take shape in her mind. Merlin couldn't have died, not now. "What is it?" she demanded.
"He's awake."
Morgana took off as if her legs had a will of their own before the words had fully registered in her brain. At some point she realized she should have thanked Freya for bringing her this longed-for news, but by then she was closer to Merlin's chambers than her own and nothing, neither hellfire nor floodwaters, and certainly not the trivial demands of decorum, would keep her from him.
Balinor, Nimueh, Alice, and Will were already gathered in Merlin's bedchamber, but Morgana took no notice of them; she slipped past them as if they were merely a silent ring of statues, though she was the one who went still as a statue when she saw her prince, still looking alarmingly pale and worn out but definitely back among the living. "Merlin."
His deep blue eyes locked on hers, and it was exactly like what Gwen thought true love should be. Her heart pounded. Her head spun. She wasn't aware of commanding her body to move, but suddenly she was in his arms, kissing him like her life depended on it, which in a way she supposed it did. "Merlin, my love…I was so afraid I'd never see you again…" She was only able to acknowledge the insidious fears that had grown in the back of her mind - the cure for the serket's venom might have been administered too late, he might live but be permanently damaged in some way, he might never wake up at all - now that they had proven unfounded.
"It's all right, Morgana - I'm here, I'm fine. Please don't cry. I'm so sorry for frightening you."
"You couldn't help it." She sniffed loudly. "And I'm only crying because I'm happy."
"Oh, good. For a moment there I was afraid you were crying because now you won't be able to get out of marrying me."
Morgana made a choked sound that was part laugh, part sob. "I thought your concussion was healed, but obviously not."
"There is absolutely nothing wrong with my head." He then kissed her again to prove how well his recovery was going.
"Looks like he finally found something besides reading that interests him," Will commented approvingly. "You'll have to find someone else to drag him out of his chambers now, sire; I'll pull Merlin's head out of books, but I won't pull it out of her lacy petticoat- Ow!"
Alice had seized him by the ear and marched him out while Nimueh and Balinor watched. "You tolerate such impertinence from servants, Balinor?" the High Priestess asked, arching her eyebrows in an imperious show of disapproval.
"He is my son's manservant; it's up to him to decide what is and is not tolerable behavior from those who work for him. Personally, I find William amusing." Balinor could have sworn he'd seen Nimueh's scarlet lips twitch as if she was about to smile at the boy's inappropriate remarks, but of course she couldn't show any sign of such a common emotion as humor. Those priestesses are such a bloody serious bunch. Hunith was the only one I ever met who didn't act like her underpants were in a twist.
Merlin and Morgana were oblivious to Will's removal, to everything except each other, until Arthur arrived and started clearing his throat so loudly and persistently that they couldn't ignore him. "Glad to see you've finally decided to wake up, Merlin," he drawled. "Morgana, I'm surprised at you - I thought you'd at least wait until you were married before jumping into bed with him."
"Shut up, Arthur - I am not in bed with him, I'm sitting on the bed." As furious as she sounded, though, Morgana was secretly relieved to hear Arthur sounding like his normal prattish self; after speaking with Gwen, she'd begun to wonder if she had missed some miraculous transformation in him. Now she was satisfied she hadn't.
"I'm glad to see you too, Arthur," Merlin said in the long-suffering tone he adopted when the prince of Camelot was being particularly aggravating. "So, what have I missed? Father and Nimueh were about to tell me what I've slept through when Morgana arrived."
"Well, it's more or less been business as usual so far as I know. How about you, Morgana - any important news to share?" Arthur's hand landed on her shoulder and squeezed. "An update on your latest needlework project, perhaps?"
Morgana's mouth went dry. Acquiring Excalibur and the price she had paid for it certainly qualified as important news, but she didn't want to share it with all these people. She shrugged out of Arthur's affectionate grip, which suddenly felt oppressive, entrapping. "No," she choked out in a voice that sounded rather unlike her, "nothing."
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Alice threw them all out soon after that, insisting that Merlin needed more rest if they wanted him back on his feet in time for the wedding. Morgana was happy to go - he seemed to have guessed that she had more on her mind than she was saying, and despite her reluctance to discuss such a private matter, it was hard to stay silent under his probing glances. Just when she thought she had escaped, though, a large hand she recognized as belonging to the king took hold of her arm and pulled her aside.
"Did you speak with Kilgharrah?"
"I did." Balinor didn't ask for more information, merely fixed Morgana with the same sternly inquisitive look that had never failed to make Merlin confess to every bit of mischief he and Will had wrought in their younger years. At last, unable to bear the weight of his gaze any longer, she added, "I acquired the object you mentioned."
Balinor's eyes widened; despite knowing it might be his kingdom's only defense against Morgause, he couldn't hold back the wave of apprehension brought on by the knowledge that such a weapon had come into the world. He dearly hoped Morgana hadn't left it lying around where just anyone could pick it up. "Where-?"
"I put it in a safe place," Morgana said quickly, which seemed to ease the king's mind. "Would you like to see it?"
"Would I! When I was a boy I used to think I would trade all the not-inconsiderable wealth in the royal vaults to lay eyes on such a thing, yet I never expected to."
"Come with me then, sire." As she showed him to her chambers, a thought that seemed so obvious she couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to her before struck her, and she asked, "If you wanted a dragonsword so badly, why did you not use your power over dragons to command them to make one for you, or a dozen?"
"The power of a dragonlord is only inherited upon the death of the parent who carries the bloodline, and by the time I came into my power I had outgrown such impetuous desires, which of course is the whole point - unless they are very unlucky, a dragonlord won't acquire their powers until they have passed the age where they would abuse it by forcing dragons to obey foolish whims. That's one reason; the other is that this particular magic only works when it is cast freely - a safeguard against dragons being forced to put weapons with incredible potential for destruction in the hands of unprincipled individuals."
"A dragon could be persuaded to forge a sword for such a person, though, couldn't they?"
"Clever girl. Yes, that's possible, but fortunately for us there are far fewer unprincipled dragons than humans; it should be nearly impossible to buy or wheedle a favor of this magnitude from them, so I'm curious - what could you possibly have that Kilgharrah would have wanted in exchange for this sword?" The question wasn't meant as an insult; Balinor was merely stating, albeit not in so many words, the simple fact that Morgana shouldn't have possessed anything that would interest a dragon, since they didn't value the things humans normally used in trade, like gold and jewels. Most humans didn't have a destiny significant enough to be bartered.
"Oh…well…he wanted me to promise that I wouldn't let the sword fall into the wrong hands. He said only Merlin and Arthur are meant to wield it; I suppose he's counting on me to keep them in line." Divulging the sword's true price to anyone besides Merlin, even his father, before he knew seemed wrong. Morgana couldn't bear lying to Balinor, however, so she settled for telling him at least part of the truth - Kilgharrah had indeed admonished her to keep Excalibur from all but its rightful users.
Balinor sensed she was holding something back but refrained from questioning her further; Hunith had told him more than once that women were entitled to their secrets.
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That evening, after most of the castle's inhabitants had retired, Morgana slipped back to Merlin's chambers, only to find him sleeping. Of course he is - he's recovering from a grievous injury that almost claimed his life. I don't know what I was thinking, coming here to bother him. She turned to go.
"Wait."
Morgana spun around. Merlin's eyes were wide open and appeared to hold all of his usual alertness. "Merlin! I'm sorry, I thought you were-"
"-Waiting for you. I hoped you would come back and tell me whatever it is that you didn't want to say in front of my father, Nimueh, and Alice." He beckoned her forward and she made her way haltingly to his bedside. "What's troubling you?"
She stared down at her fingers where they picked fretfully at her skirts. "I had to make a difficult choice today - one that changed the course of both our lives forever."
Merlin raised himself up a little on his pillows. "Do you think you chose wrongly?"
Morgana slowly shook her head. "I saw no other alternative…I'm only afraid you'll be displeased with me."
"Now you're worried about incurring my displeasure?" The remark failed to bring even a hint of a smile to her face. "Well, this must be really serious. Tell me about it, Morgana."
"I'm not sure where to begin."
"Try the beginning. And come closer; I hate you looking down at me like I'm some invalid on my deathbed."
She initially sat on the side of his bed where she had been earlier, but by the time she finished her story she was lying next to him as she had every night during their journey through the Forest Perilous, although this time they had a thick layer of blankets between them. That wouldn't keep them out of trouble if someone walked in on them - while their closeness may have been expedient out in the wild, it was unseemly now that they had returned to civilization and conserving body heat by any means necessary was no longer an issue - but she didn't care. Regardless of what Kilgharrah said, she needed the assurance that Merlin wasn't upset with her.
He didn't respond to what she'd told him immediately, but at last, just when she began to worry that his silence meant he was angry, he asked, "Have you told anyone else about this?"
"No, I thought you should be the first to know since, besides me, you're the one this will most directly affect."
"Good - keep it to yourself, at least until after our wedding. Uther will be here soon, and I don't want to think about what he'll do if he learns you've been exposed to magic that altered your physical makeup. Of course I wouldn't advise blabbing it all over the kingdom afterward, but at least if we're already married he won't be able to drag you back to Camelot."
Morgana let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. "You do still want to marry me then, even though I won't be able to…do my duty as a wife?"
"Huh? What duty?" Merlin looked baffled.
"My duty to give my husband an heir - the one I've been lectured on the importance of my entire life," she said tartly, rolling her eyes.
"All your life, really? Well, in Camelot you may have been told that you had to do that, but here in Dagon you're a sorceress, and sorceresses only have children when and if it suits them; I pity any fool who tries to lecture them on duty to the men in their lives. Nimueh will undoubtedly have a very embarrassing talk with you on this subject sometime before we're married, and you'll be able to tell her you don't need her assistance, although the spells she would have taught you would've been less permanent than Kilgharrah's so you could change your mind whenever you wanted." There was a moment's pause in which he stared at her relieved yet incredulous expression, and then he asked, "Morgana, did you honestly think this would change how I feel about you?"
"I feared it might," she mumbled, suddenly feeling that she had done him a disservice by entertaining such a notion even for a second. "I'm sorry, Merlin; I should have known better."
"Yes, you should have. My heart is yours, Morgana. It will always be yours."
His words brought a tremulous smile to her face. "Kilgharrah said exactly the same thing."
"Well, he is supposed to be the wisest of the dragons." Merlin's answering smile abruptly transformed into a frown. "Even if he's still making decisions based on prophecy - and convincing you to go along with it!" He shook his head disapprovingly. "You know how I feel about letting prophecy dictate your actions…but since you're a seer I understand why you're inclined to take it more seriously than I do."
"It wasn't really prophecy dictating my actions," Morgana argued. "It was a terrifyingly large dragon who refused to provide the means of defeating the immortal army Morgause could be creating as we speak and intimated that he might swallow me whole unless I agreed to let him do as he wished."
Merlin's body jerked as if he was about to spring out of bed; he probably would have if not for her weight on his chest pinning him down. "What! He actually threatened to eat you?"
"Not in so many words, but he obviously deemed it an acceptable alternative to sterilizing me."
"That…that…cold-blooded old reptile! As soon as I'm better, I'm going to have a word with him about this, and it won't be pleasant. He'll never be rude to you again, I promise you that."
Morgana snickered. "Don't be too hard on him, my love - he only did what he thought best. Killing me would have been a last resort; he really does care about you, and I think he wanted us to be together so you could be happy."
Her words seemed to calm the angry warlock. "I am happy." His hand clasped hers tightly, and she felt his lips brush the top of her head. "I have you with me. I'm glad that at least Kilgharrah finally realizes how important you are to me."
"What will we do about getting an heir to the throne, though?" she asked, and felt the hand not holding hers move against her back as he waved it dismissively.
"Gods willing, we have plenty of time before we'll need one. We can figure it out later."
Morgana could tell by the way his voice sounded that he was getting tired, so she extricated herself from his embrace and sat up. "I'm keeping you from your much-needed rest - I should go." Merlin protested, but there wasn't much energy in it. "Good night, Merlin." He was already asleep when she leaned in to kiss him. She pressed her lips softly against his anyway, but this time her kiss failed to awaken her prince. With a last fond smile at the love of her life, she went out into the darkened corridors, closing the door soundlessly behind her.