This chapter is pretty short compared to the others, originally it was one hell of a chapter from 6k+ words so I cut it in half.
Thank you for reading and enjoy! (⌒-⌒; )
I sit straight up in bed, subconsciously fidgeting my fingers. Kay and I both decided not to continue with the job. I don't want to kill Levi and he agrees that it's out of question at this point. I can't... not after what he did for me. I have this weird urge to tell him the truth, but even though it seems like we're on good terms, I can never predict his reaction. Will he be confused, mad, hurt or angry? Will he kick me out, ignore it or perhaps hand me over to the Military Police? The fact that I don't know what precaution he will take next means I won't tell him. Not yet at least.
I don't know if I should laugh or cry.
"Tell me again, your reason to join?"
Because just now when my ill intentions completely faded, Levi sits beside me, arms crossed and knowing the truth before I was able to spill it. I feel like anything I will say now will be discarded as a lie, be it the truth or not.
Silently I stare at the letter laying in front of me, not ready to shift my focus to Levi yet, if ever. I swallow hard, trying to remain calm and somewhat composed. But how is that possible in this situation? Who could and would send this?
When I make no effort to break the silence, Levi does after a few agonizing moments. "Answer one simple question with yes or no." He starts as I still stare at my hands, his voice booming in my ears, a certain tone of hesitation in his voice. "Is it true?"
My eyes shoot up when he speaks in that tone... as if he's actually hurt. But I second guess myself since his face remains stoic, as if we aren't having this conversation right now. It's just his usual frown marking his face.
I think hard for a way out of this. It comes crashing down at me, all at once, out of nowhere and without warning. It's so sudden. How much does Levi know... and the Survey Corps? If I say no will they believe me, what will happen if I confess? My brain goes in overdrive and I shriek when Levi grabs my hand. I swiftly meet his gaze and turn my head to the other side, facing the wall. "No." I answer, not trying to be all that convincing.
"Are you lying to me?" He asks. Undoubtedly noticing my unsure and reluctant frame. The lack of confidence in my answer. He slightly turns my head, holding my chin between his thumb and index finger. He stops and lets go when I fully face him. I try to read his face, his expression, only noticing the slightly softer look in his eyes.
"I am." I breathe out shakily.
I close my eyes and it feels like time has frozen. Now here it comes. The Military Police or perhaps the Survey Corps themselves will come in, handcuff me, and that will be the end of my life. The end of my life as a free woman. Once again I will be held down, locked up in a cell with no sunlight. I grow more nervous as the seconds soundlessly pass by.
I sigh as I get no reaction from him. I just confessed, indirectly. "It isn't personal." I mutter softly. I feel the need to let him know this. That it has nothing to do with him on any kind of personal level, and after getting to know him, it hurts to have the truth come to daylight, especially like this.
"I figured." He says softly, a smile pulling at his lips he can't seem to suppress. To say that his reaction surprises me is an understatement. "Erwin received this one day prior to the expedition, roughly a week ago."
I blink a few times at the new information. Wait what? He knew all this time? "Then why-"
He presses his finger flat against my lips, hushing me as I stare down to his hand. "Be quiet and listen." He says and I nod. "I just found out myself. Erwin, Hanji and Mike were the only ones informed. They kept a close eye on you and your actions, decided to observe before taking action. He was either convinced this is false letter... or you changed your mind."
He left the sentence open, giving me a chance to butt in even though he told me to shut it. I take the opportunity to clarify. "You life isn't worth the reward." He seems disturbingly relaxed, the smile still present on his lips, his eyes now a softer expression too. "I'm sorry." I say as I grip the white sheets tighter.
When his fingers brush my cheek I look up and before I'm able to react his lips crash into mine. Soft and plump, passionate and tender, full of forgiveness. "You-" I say before he leans over and closes the distance between our lips again. I don't protest, my hands finding their way back to his neck, but I remain hesitant. Right now he's actually kissing me. His lips against mine instead of his knuckles meeting my face. I didn't know what to expect, but I can say this is the least I would've predict would happen next.
When he pulls away from my embrace and his lips leave mine he continues. "If this didn't happen I wouldn't have met you, in a way I'm glad it's you." He says. "You passed the test." He whispered into my ear as I even more confused pull away.
"Test?"
"If you wouldn't make a move on me, confessed all by yourself and it happened to be that you were indeed hired rather than acting on your own, Erwin would agree on helping you out of this mess. To the extent that is possible, of course."
He explains as both relief and guilt wash over me the same time, leaving me completely lost in the moment. Even now he's helping me again. "So, then what happens now?" I ask tentatively, not wanting to sound happy before knowing every last detail.
His face turns serious as he lets go of my hand and leans back in his chair, eying me a few moments before talking. "I can't let you know. All I'm allowed to tell you is that you will be locked up for a certain amount of time."
I guess it's better than what normally would happen, so I don't complain. All the information and realization hits me at once as I'm talking too casually with Levi about this. The possibility of this being a dream crosses my mind, but it's one that feels too real. Besides... my fingertips brush over my lips as I fix my eyes onto the sheets, I'm sure that was real.
"Will the Military Police find out?" I ask, breaking the silence. He nods a single time as my heart skips a beat.
"Erwin told me today because apparently they just received the same letter." So that means there's no running from them now, I'm in the middle of the Military forces. I'm stuck, not handcuffed or locked up yet, but there is no way for me to escape now, is there?
"Erwin and Hanji are thinking of a plan, until they figured something out you will be held."
I lay on bed, not knowing how much time has passed. Is it morning, afternoon, evening or perhaps midnight?
I have no idea.
No clock or sunlight to tell me the time of the day and it drives me mad. Did five minutes pass or one hour? Did I fall asleep just now or have I been staring at the ceiling all this time? It feels like I've been stuck here forever but I know it's only been three days.
I stare at my hand that I hold up in front of me. "How much longer are they planning to imprison me in this depressing place." I take a deep breath and sigh loudly. "I wonder." I notice a swift movement behind the bars and I shift my gaze towards the person standing here. "Did you come to kill my boredom?" I sarcastically remark and sit straight up, happy with some human contact in days beside the untalkative Military Police guards that only throw me dirty glances once in a while.
"Well it seems it's time for you to leave this cramped two by two meter cage." Levi says and walks closer, leaning with folded arms against the metal bars that separate us. He looks at me with pity after he glanced around my cell. Not that there's much to see besides the bed.
"Glad to hear that." I jump up and walk over to him. "Where will I be going?"
"I'm not allowed to tell you." He presses his lips in a straight line, furrowing his brows. "But it's not going to be pretty." He eyes me seriously, a jolt of nervousness struck my body. His troubled gaze disheartens me. The sight of him makes me wonder if I would rather stay in this cell than going out to wherever they're planning on taking me.
"You're unnerving, you know that?" I say while taking a few steps back. "What did you came to tell me then?" My voice echoes through the halls and dies shortly after. He just keeps looking at me with an expression I can't place, it's somewhere between his usual deadpan face and... I'm not really sure.
"Levi." I raise my voice. I sound confused, holding back my usual tone of voice and response. It's not like I can act like the Jaclyn he knows who had a big mouth and would demand answers. I'm not sure in what position I am and how far can I go. For once it feels like there might be consequences to my behavior. It doesn't feel the same since the revelation. It's only natural things changed but still, this feels awkward in a way.
He turns around and stands with his back to me. "An apology in advance." He peers over his shoulder with a pained expression and then starts walking away.
"For what?" I ask walking forward again, grabbing onto the bars and see him walking at the end of the hall. "Don't just leave me like this!" I shout and watch him turn the corner. I curse under my breath and loosen my tight grip on the bars. I let myself fall back on the bed again. What the hell was that about? Unexpectedly visiting, making me anxious for god knows what. Then he just stares at me, giving a shit reply to my question and leaving just like that. "Exactly when do I get to leave?"
"Right now that is!" Her boisterous voice booming through the small place makes me jerk right back up in shock.
"In high spirits like always Hanji." I slightly smile at seeing her again. She had visited me together with Petra just before Levi dropped the bomb. I haven't spoken to anyone since. Not Hanji or Petra, not anyone of the squad. I haven't seen Jonah since then. I keep catching myself wondering if he hates me for this, does he think I betrayed him too? Because in a way, I deceived everyone around me. People who genuinely trusted me. People who accepted me.
She walks in and unlocks the heavy metal door, making her way over to me. Her joyous facial features slightly diminish when she saw I noticed the handcuffs in her hand. "Is that really necessary?" I ask carefully as I already stretch my arms behind my back. I know very well I'm not in a position to complain, but those thick handcuffs seem a little extreme. Even for someone like me.
I've considered escaping, but It's not like I have anywhere to go and hide. And even if I could, I won't ever betray them a second time. They're trying to figure out who assigned me to do this, and they need me in order to do that. Even so, I believe, or perhaps want to believe they are doing it for me too. I'm being the most selfish person I know, but those are my true feelings.
"Sorry dear, I wouldn't do it but Erwin requested them, therefore you'll have to wear it."
"I understand." I don't, not really but I let her put them on as I restrain myself from cursing out loud. All my life I managed to escape and evade the Military Police and right now, because someone sent a fucking letter... I grit my teeth and let the for now useless thoughts wander.
"We should leave now or else we might be late!" With a single turn of the key she locks the cuffs behind my back and holds onto them as we walk out the cell, onto the hallway.
When we turn around the corner a man from the Survey Corps stands here, also joining us on our walk to... "Where exactly are we heading?" I ask and look over to Hanji.
"You sure talk a lot today."
"Can you blame me?" I ask and suddenly we come to a halt.
"It's good to keep wondering." A smile appears on her face before it fades in an instant. "Now, if you enter this door you'll realize what is going on." She says as I throw her a confused glance. For one, her unusual serious tone and two, what could be behind this door?
She speaks softly, just above a whisper as she turns me around and rests her hands onto my shoulders. "We need to decide whether we can trust you or not, therefore we didn't inform you on the current situation. We will trust you blindly and depending on the outcome we will plan a next move." She explains, not that I understand any of it. "Any answer that you might come up with is correct. Trust your instincts and play along." She whispers into my ear and backs off.
Current situation? Blindly trust me? What outcome? What next move?
As the questions build up I turn around. "Wait a moment, Hanji!" I say but the Military Police takes over as two men push guns to my back and force me to move onwards.
"Good luck." She says and walks away without another word.
The humongous doors open and when I observe the room, I immediately realize what is going on. But my mind can't grasp the reason as to why? Why the Military Court?
Safire08: I just wanted to let you know that I really like your story. Its very original and Im looking forward to what's gonna between Levi and Jaclyn :) - I'm very happy to hear that you think it's original, so thank you! I try to avoid the clichés but sometimes I find myself writing something very very predictable, but I try to keep it original.
Will update next week! ^^