ASHLEY'S P.O.V
"Write me back so I know you're okay xoxo"
She's worried.
I told her I'd meet her back at the loft.
But I never showed.
"I'm sorry I went AWOL! I just can't come back to the loft yet xoxo"
I need some time to get my head around everything.
"Do you want some company? I'll come naked? ;)"
When she writes that I start laughing.
"Meet me at the beach in ten?"
My mum has cancer and I don't know how to deal with it.
So I can either sit here by myself or I can be with Spencer.
"Am I pushing it if I ask which beach?"
She's so cute.
"The same one we went to after our first date"
I put my phone down on the bar and quickly finish my drink.
"See you soon xoxo"
TEN MINUTES LATER
"Hey"
When I hear her voice I look over to where she's standing.
"You're wearing clothes?"
When I say that she starts laughing.
"I am"
"Spence I'm sorry I didn't come back to the loft like I said I would"
She moves so she's sitting next to me.
"Don't be ridiculous Ashley you don't need to apologise"
I should have told her where I was.
"I just needed some time to clear my head..."
"Did it help?"
"Not really I can't make much sense out of any of this"
I slowly start brushing the sand off my jeans.
"Did your mum tell you anything else?"
"Yer apparantly she found out a couple of weeks ago when I was in New York, but we never talk so she had no idea I was even away"
"Ashley that's not your fault"
I feel horrible.
She's been going through all of this alone.
"Spencer how did it get this bad?"
How could I not know she was sick?
"She's been sick for weeks and I had no idea"
How does that happen?
"Spence our relationship is so fucked up that she can get something as big as breast cancer and not tell me"
What's wrong with me?
"I'm her only daughter and she could of died but I still wasn't told"
I really need to stop thinking about everything.
"I bet if she could go back in time she'd get an abortion"
"Ash..."
"Spence I don't fit into her lifestyle and I've never been part of her plans"
She's never done anything to make me think she wanted me.
"I'm the fuck up that took most of her inheritance"
"You're not a fuck up"
"She thinks I am"
She moves so she's facing me.
"Ashley I don't understand how anyone wouldn't want you in their life"
When she says that I look up.
"You're amazing and I know I've only known your mum for twenty four hours..."
That's usually long enough.
"But she cares Ashley, she just doesn't let on that she does"
She reaches out brushing her fingers through my hair.
"Spence do you really think that?"
"Ashley I've tried not liking you and I've tried turning you down"
"Are you still trying to cheer me up?"
When I say that she starts laughing.
"Ashley I love you"
Did I hear that right?
"What?"
"I just blurted that out didn't I?"
"You love me?"
She looks nervous.
"I didn't mean to blurt that out..."
"Do you not mean it?"
"No I do I just don't want to freak you out"
Why would that freak me out?
"Spencer..."
"It's Zara"
What?
"I was talking to her the other day and she made me realise something that I kind of already knew but I was scared to admit"
She's rambling.
"I've never been in love, but I've seen plenty of movies, so I'm pretty sure that's what this is"
She's so cute.
"You're all I think about and when you're not around I want you to be"
I feel the exact same way.
"So I know I'm jumping the gun a bit..."
I guess I'm jumping the gun as well.
"But I love you Ashley and it's okay if you don't feel the same..."
"I love you to"
She's smiling.
"Spencer I've seen the movies to..."
When I say that she starts laughing.
"I love you"
I'm head over heels in love with her.
"I ramble when I'm nervous"
I like it when she rambles.
"I know I think it's cute"
It's really cute.
"Did we just use the L word?"
"Yep it's official we've become one of those couples we both love to hate"
"Ash why aren't we making out?"
"Is that what's meant to happen after love declarations?"
She's grinning.
"It happens in the Titanic"
"Spencer they die in the TItanic"
"Why are we still talking?"
The second her lips touch mine we fall back into the sand.
She loves me.