Disclaimer: Well, considering I'm not richer than England royalty, I don't own Harry Potter. Or Twilight.
Story: The books happened. And then Harry decided to happen. So he did, living his life and traveling the world. Then Teddy comes into his care and he decides to settle down in Forks, somehow drawing attention even when he doesn't want it. Teddy is just exasperated and having his own fun.
Set after book 7, AU Epilogue and slightly altering the final battle.
Spoilers: Books 1-7 probably.
Warnings: ?
Pairings: Harry/Marcus, Bella/Carlisle, Alice/Jasper, Emmett/Rosalie, Esme/Charlie, Teddy/Leah, Sam/Jacob, Edward/Tanya…
A/n: I didn't reply to people, but I'll try to a little bit later as I'm going somewhere right now and I figure you all would prefer an update instead. But I'll try to reply to you all later, and I'll harder to do so in the future!

Stranger Happenings
Chapter Seven: Obsessively Oppose to the Typical

"Sorry, Mike."

"Nah, kind of expected this. Thanks for the chance though."

Bella smiled wryly, "Thanks for being there."

And so they ended the awkward date and continued on through the thing as just friends.

Just then, Marcus strode into the diner, blank-faced as usual but a hint of anxiety seemed to be in his eyes.

"Hey, Marcus! You okay there?" Mike called.

Marcus turned to look over at them before hesitantly coming over.

"It…would depend on the definition of okay. I am not sure what to do about Harry. He confuses me. I am not sure how to take him or his actions…Or how to keep him interested, if he really is."

Bella and Mike's eyebrows flew up.

"Marcus, not to make you worry even more…but this is Harry. He is unpredictable and confusing. You will never know with him unless you confront him head on, and I'm going out on a limb here and say I don't think he's much for revealing the true depth of his emotions."

Marcus hunched over in depression.

"Harry and I are going to that medical conference tonight. Tag along," Bella suggested.

"Yeah, and then maybe you can spend more time with him and find out what's up," Mike agreed.

"…Okay," but the vampire was still hesitant.

Bella offered a small smile before holding up her camera.

"Pictures! Let's take some pictures now," and so Marcus took a picture of Mike and Bella together, taking one with Bella himself, and then someone else volunteered to take a picture of all three of them.

"Time to return to the Dragon's Den," Mike sighed in mock drama.

"Dragon's Den?" Marcus inquired.

Bella snickered, "That's what we call Harry's home and inn. Or just wherever Harry is at the moment."

All three laughed as they started walking out.

Later, Harry having managed to kidnap Bella as soon as she stepped through the door, the two of them were driving in his Ferrari to Seattle, listening to Beatles music and Bella strangely not worried about Harry driving blindfolded. His instincts really were perfect.

"You probably have a bag packed for me already," Bella stated.

"Yup."

"And said goodbye in my name."

"Yup…though I do say, your father was practically in stitches when I attempted to copy your voice and say goodbye as you, even though I was right in front of him."

"You fudged up on purpose so that he wouldn't worry."

Everything Harry did was perfect. He probably could mimic her voice flawlessly.

"Yup."

"I'm hungry, did you at least pack some food for the trip?"

Harry let go of the wheel and turned around to dig around the back seats, and Bella just kept repeating 'It'sHarryIt'sHarryIt'sHarryIt'sHarry –' She fought back a whimper.

She guessed she did have a limit to her tolerance of Harry's Harry-ness.

He turned back around and tossed a gourmet sandwich, no doubt made by himself, onto her lap as he returned to the wheel without further incident. Bella forced herself to breathe.

Closer to Seattle, Bella woke up from her nap and squinted outside.

"Um, Harry…why are we heading towards the waters?"

"Because I organized the conference on a cruise ship. Ah, there it is. The Ambassadors International Wind Spirit."

Bella's eyes bugged out.

"It's…It's just a conference, Harry…a cruise?"

"Yup."

That word should be temporarily illegal.

Harry parked and then they trekked up the ramp and into the fancy cruise liner, Harry and Bella moving into a position that made it look like he was being helped around by her.

"Aro should be on board," Harry whispered into her ear.

She turned red, "Um…should I really approach him?"

He half-shrugged, "Your choice, darling. I don't think Aro would mind, actually. You're human. He would want to try something new. It would be a different experience for him, most probably."

"What about you? Wouldn't you need to be led around?"

Harry smirked, "To your left, at 11 o'clock."

She was surprised to see Marcus being pestered at the bar lounge. She knew she'd suggested it, but hadn't known he would actually come. It was a quick exit for her and Harry, and she hadn't been able to tell the Italian vampire where they were going. Not that she had known anyway.

"I told Aro to come with his brothers. I'm trying to get them out more so they won't go stir-crazy back home. With how old they are, it isn't a surprise their brains are so addled," he snickered, and she fought back giggles as well. "Room 237," Harry said, dropping a card key into her hand. "Go get him. I'll be fine with Marcus."

Bella swallowed nervously before nodding and walking off. Harry continued to smirk, heading over to the irritated vampire. At his approach, the women around Marcus dispersed and Harry plopped down next to him.

"Want to be my guide?" Harry smiled widely.

"I suppose," Marcus sighed in boredom, but the twitch of his lips said he really didn't mind.

"Brilliant! I'm hungry so you can go ahead and feed me."

"What?"

In which Marcus reluctantly began feeding Harry chow mein with chopsticks because Harry had been serious about it. Exasperatedly feeding him, Harry obnoxiously opened his mouth wide each time for Marcus.

The Italian vampire was well aware of the female stalkers watching avidly.

"So…Aro and Caius are here too, right?" Harry started out slowly.

"Yes. You invited all three of us, and so all three of us came."

"Good, good. You know, I sent Bella over to lose her virginity to Aro."

Marcus paused and then stared. Unwillingly, his mouth opened in a slight gape. He didn't think it was possible, with the usual vampire ability to process everything at a rapid pace, but Harry might have killed his brain. Or at least temporarily short-circuited it.

"Why…on earth would you do that?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

Harry shrugged, "She wanted to lose her virginity. Preferably to a vampire. Or me. It's okay. I already told Sulpicia about it, and she's alright."

Marcus' brain backtracked and repeated that again.

"Sulpicia…knows we're here?" he questioned slowly.

"Yeeesss," Harry said even more slowly, looking at him worriedly. "Both she and Athenodora are here. I invited them," Harry told him cheerily.

Marcus shuddered and shook his head.

"You've been in contact with them?" Marcus asked dryly.

"Yup," Marcus was just learning the evilness of that word. "Just recently though. Told them the three of you were vacationing in Forks, and that they were welcome to come visit as well."

"We are not vacationing, Harry," Marcus had no idea his tone could get any more drier. "We are here…on business."

"Mmhm. Carlisle's here too," Harry added, brushing his words off like an excuse. "I trapped him in here too."

"…Trapped?"

"Ah, let's go! I'm done eating," Harry abruptly stood up and started to drag Marcus behind him. Marcus rolled his eyes and moved closer, grabbing the eccentric man's arm and leading him.

"Right, right. I'm supposed to be blind," Harry waved it off.

"Are you ever going to say anything behind all that?"

"Mm, maybe later. Ohh, is that Esme?"

In fact, it actually was her. Marcus was about to greet her coolly when Harry ran forward and somehow 'knocked' her out. Actually, she was just temporarily dazed, and then Harry somehow disappeared into thin air with her.

Harry, in the meantime, had apparated with Esme, and while she was still dazed, had deposited her in front of Charlie's squad car in front of a donut shop. Then he apparated back to a stock still and gaping Marcus.

"Okay! So, I was thinking of making some chitchat with some people around here, make some new business partners, confound some more people…" and Harry listed off some more things, all the while with Marcus feeling like once again the impossible had happened –his brain had fried.

Now if we turn our attention back to where we left off with Esme, she had just stumbled onto her feet and was regaining her bearings when an unexpected voice made her froze.

"Esme Cullen?"

Well, wasn't this a surprise. She wasn't sure yet whether it was a good or bad one.

She forced a smile onto her face.

"Hello, Chief Swan. Fancy seeing you here."

Charlie blinked "It's…nice seeing you back. Really," he reassured her, seeing her look crestfallen at him seemingly sounding unenthusiastic. "It's just…I'm just getting the feeling Harry had something to do with this."

"Harry?" she questioned.

Charlie sighed in exasperated fondness, "Would you like to get a donut with me? I'll catch you up on things and tell you all about Harry while we're at it."

So as the two went inside, chatting amiably, somewhere nearby in the same town, Leah Clearwater was unhappily glaring at her pack leader and former boyfriend.

"You could have told me you guys were going to work here," she said bitterly. "Not like I didn't need a job…"

Sam winced, holding up his hands in a placating manner.

"Sorry, I kind of got…sidetracked," he winced, though a second later his face flushed red and his gaze wandered over to where Jacob was waiting on an elderly couple.

She huffed at him, though inwardly she fumed.

Life was a total bitch.

How in the hell was it fair that her boyfriend, ex now, left her for another guy? It was just totally unfair.

"Listen here, Sam Uley! I. Am. Not. Going…" she trailed off, jaw unwillingly dropping as she lightly blushed.

No.

No.

Damn it all!

She'd just imprinted.

And seeing whom it was, she wanted to cry. Life really was a bitch.

Sam understood the situation immediately, saw who she had imprinted on, and winced in sympathy for her. If he was looking at jailbait with Jacob, Leah was looking at cradle robbing to the extreme.

Leah had just imprinted on Teddy Slytherin, godson/son of Harry Potter.

She whimpered, "Shoot me now, Sam."

Sam cringed.

"How about a shot of your strongest stuff?" she mumbled.

He coughed, "Sorry, no can do."

"Oh, give me a break."

He shrugged in commiseration.

"I feel for you. A lot of empathy comes from me to you, I swear," so he handed her something else. "Strong stuff. Non-alcoholic though. Courtesy of Harry."

"I like your boss."

"He's very likable. Utterly mad, but likable," Sam blinked. "Huh, everyone's right. Harry is somehow brainwashing us into Brits."

Leah scrunched up her eyebrows in confusion.

"You'll get it once you meet him and hang around him more."

"Who's the kid?" Leah went back to sulking.

Sam laughed nervously, "Teddy. Harry's godson."

She thumped her head hard against the counter.

"Ngh…why is life such a bitch, Sam?"

"Um…no answer? Dunno. It'll be fine, Leah. How about I'll tell you about Teddy?"

She moaned and sniffled.

On the other side of the dining area, there was Mike similarly sulking at his station, with Jacob taking a break and sitting in front of him. Jacob looked at Mike, turned to trace where the blond was staring at, and then blinked.

And then winced.

"Oh man…you didn't."

Mike sighed.

"You did."

The underage "bartender" furiously started cleaning his glasses in response.

"Mike, you're lookin' at Ms. Granger."

Another sigh.

"Age gap."

And another sigh.

"…And who might still have feelings for Harry."

Mike sighed again.

"And who's also still married –"

"Separated."

"Married, to a jerk, but still married."

Mike sniffed and sighed once more.

"And she has kids."

The blond, like Leah had, thumped his head mournfully against the counter.

"First Bella, now Ms. Granger. I just have all the luck, don't I?" Mike pouted. "I mean, can't a guy catch a break?"

"Did I mention the age gap, kids, Harry –"

"You did," Mike snapped. "I got it, I got it. Doesn't mean I don't think I have a crush on her."

"Looks more than a crush to me," Jacob muttered.

Mike threw the cleaning rag at his head.

"Hey, hey! Don't kill the messenger!"

Everyone ignored the group of screaming kids that ran through the room at that moment. It had become a usual to witness, though the times varied.

It's just that Rose and Hugo really liked dress up. And playing House.

Scorpius was only occasionally a victim, now that they deemed him suitable to be an ally. When they were okay with proclaiming him an ally, though he felt sorry for Teddy he still felt much more relieved. 'Cause it meant he wasn't going to suffer alongside his best friend.

Unfortunately, this was not one of those times.

Both he and Teddy darted out of the room as fast as their tiny legs could go.

At the same time as that, when Teddy had reappeared running through the room, Leah adopted a dopey look on her face again. And as the kids ran out, Hermione chased after them, leaving Mike to thump his head again against the counter in depression.

Leah summed it up quite well.

Life really was a bitch.

"It's total insanity," Bella snickered, recalling the moment Aro had just told her about. "But it's Harry."

Neither of them could understand just exactly how Harry had kidnapped Marcus that game day.

"No, it's utter rubbish," Aro pouted. "He confounds me. And my brothers."

Bella laughed outright, "Rubbish?"

She didn't rub in the fact Harry 'confounds' them, as she didn't want to be too cruel. But that was hilarious.

Aro huffed, "Yes, rubbish. It seems that Harry…is very influential in his mannerisms."

"Meaning he's being effective in his plans to brainwash everyone into Brits."

"…Yes, he's succeeding in implanting his manners in myself and my family."

Bella laughed at him.

Aro pouted again.

Then he scooted closer on the bed they were both laying side by side on, going on his side as he trailed his finger in small circles on her shoulder.

"Sure you don't want to go ahead and have sex?" he asked bluntly, smirking at her.

She blushed and stuttered.

"Actually, I really was all for it, but I think I've been too hasty. I mean, you're really good looking and I'm sure you have great experience, but I'm not really ready."

Aro nodded understandingly, looking disappointed.

"I understand. But how about," and he whispered his suggestion in her ear, her face turning even redder. But she had a light smirk gracing her lips and a mischievous look in her eyes.

"…You know…Sure, why not? Harry did the same thing. I can do it too," Bella announced to herself, deciding she didn't want to hold herself back from trying things like she used to back with Edward.

Aro grinned, "Excellent."

So Bella agreed to fooling around some. She wasn't ready for intercourse, but she didn't think she was all that opposed to messing around with Aro. Also being that Harry did too, and well…She shrugged inwardly. Harry was sadly (and unfortunately) becoming her role model. And while she probably would never be up to his insanity, she was pretty sure that she was more than adopting just a few of his characteristics.

Her light smirk turned into a full-fledged roguish grin she'd copied from Harry when he was in a playful mood.

An hour later at around ten, Bella left the room and decided to wander around a bit, looking around in awe. Harry sure did go full out for the medical conference. Everyone there looked like they were having a good time.

Feeling a bit hungry, she decided to eat dinner at The Skylight Lounge she'd passed by earlier on the way to see Aro. Slipping inside, hiding her nervousness at the fake ID Harry had given (the place was 21 and over at night, and unfortunately the festivities had started at night, not to mention the two of them had arrived at night). She breathed a sigh of relief when she was let in, taking back her fake ID and finding a place to sit at in the middle of the Lounge. Entertainment had already started and she bopped her head a little bit to the smooth music of jazz playing in the background as she browsed through the menu.

"B-Bella?"

Her head snapped up and her jaw dropped as she caught sight of familiar ochre eyes, pale skin, and blond hair.

"Carlisle!"

He cleared his throat nervously and gestured to the seat next to her in the half-spherical booth.

"May I?"

Bella nodded numbly, watching as he slid right next to her, into the booth.

"It's, uh, been a long time," she muttered.

"…Yes. Yes, it has," he answered uncomfortably, but there was a tinge of delight that said he was very happy to see her.

Hearing it, she forced herself to relax and smile genuinely at him.

"How have you been?"

Carlisle echoed her smile on a smaller scale, though it was just as sincere.

"I'm alright. Yourself?"

"I'm fine as well."

There was another awkward pause before Carlisle shook his head.

"Let's just catch up on things tomorrow. Over lunch. I'll treat you to the Veranda. Tonight, let's just enjoy being here together, eh?" he let himself smile a little more playful and she responded with an impish grin.

"Alright. But a lot has changed so you better be prepared," she winked, sticking her tongue out at him briefly.

He laughed, "I can see."

Fifteen minutes to midnight, there was an announcement overhead going through the intercom, with Harry making it.

"Yahooooooo! Hell~loh, ladies and gents! Can you all do me the very good favor of coming on deck so I can scream some more announcements at you guys and officially open this party, alright?" Harry sing-songed cheerily.

Carlisle looked confused, while Bella sweatdropped, though she chuckled a little bit.

"Um, should I ask?"

Bella shrugged, "Like I said. I'll tell you all about it at lunch. That's Harry. We should get going then."

Bella grabbed his hand, leading him out, and if he could he would've blushed happily.

At the deck, Bella saw Marcus next to Harry, but she'd expected him to be stoic. Instead, Marcus looked like his brain had been fried.

Bella tutted, "Poor Marcus. He looks brain fried. Harry must be at fault."

She turned to look at Carlisle, who looked shocked to see Marcus there, even more so at her words…or that she seemed to know Marcus and like it was normal to have him there.

"Oh, I should mention the Volturi has been vacationing in Forks. I'd forgotten that you would know them."

"Not vacationing. We're here on business," Caius said caustically, appearing next to them suddenly.

"'Lo, Caius," Bella greeted. "Sorry about getting you kicked out earlier."

Caius sniffed, "Not your fault. It's all my brother's. I hope he'd pleased you well for it, the idiot pervert."

Bella laughed, "Plenty."

Carlisle was lost. Especially at the easy, if a bit banter-y, camaraderie between sweet Bella and the most acerbic (and arguably cruelest –depending on Aro's mood though) of the human-blood drinking brothers. That wasn't to mention that he was confused at what they were talking about in the first place.

"Oh, sorry about that, Carlisle. I went to visit Aro for some personal business of mine," Caius coughed sarcastically, interrupting her. She ignored him and continued. "I went to see him earlier and he kicked Caius out of the room. I had no idea where he'd gone, until now. Where have you been, Caius?"

Caius cleared his throat uncomfortably. "I busied myself…with the casinos."

"…Harry found you and told you to clean out the casinos, didn't he."

"…"

"I thought so."

Harry clapped his hands twice loudly, calling attention to him standing on a platform stage in front of everybody.

"Everyone, everyone! It's good to see you all. I see some familiar faces, eh! Now, just a few announcements to make before I let you guys completely loose for the weekend. First, there's the usual prohibited list of objects and activities to be seen on the captain's door. Second, the third floor is forbidden," Harry said ominously.

There was complete silence.

Then everyone broke out in whispers and Harry inwardly cackled in his head, reminded of Hogwarts.

"Hey, which is considered the 3rd floor?" someone whispered to another, breaking them into another wave of whispering.

"Okie dokie! Some last words, darlings!" Harry chirruped.

Everyone blinked at him.

"Butterbeer, Fluffy, Snuffles, and….Socks!"

Everyone blinked at him again and was completely silent.

"Cheers!" Harry mock saluted them and then turned on his heel, grabbing Marcus' hand and flitting off.

"That…was typical of Harry," Bella sighed.

Caius just kept blinking while Carlisle gaped openly.

Started 12/29/09 –Completed 5/21/10

A/n: Thank you all so much for your patience and continued support! I really appreciate it, guys! I'm so sorry this took so long to come out, but it was kind of hard finishing it. I'll try not to be as long with the next update, but no guarantees with my life and all. I still have to take classes and watch over my little siblings, as well as a house to maintain so please understand!