Chapter 9

Thanks again to ShAmy4evr for editing! As always!

Now... about that date with Stuart...

Amy spent the rest of Friday night in a self-pity funk which had infuriated her since she knew not the cause. It must be the date tomorrow, she reasoned. Just the stupid tiresome time suck of a date. She crawled into a hot bath and soaked for hours thinking about her priorities. She kicked herself to think that at this stage in her life she was still having to put up with this tedious dating crap.

As she turned off her phone before going to bed, she saw that while she had been in the bath she had missed seven calls from her mother and a number of calls from an unknown number.

Ignoring the calls from the unknown number, she shook her head as she dialed her mother back:

"Mother, what is it? And before you ask, I have my date tomorrow!"

"Oh thank god, I just needed to make sure." Her mother's little voice reverberated in her ear.

"I sent you the details along with the affidavit signed by Stuart verifying that he is real."

"Good. I won't be fooled with Armin what's his name, that horse guy again, Amy!"

Amy was in a foul mood and spoke to her mother like she never had before, "Only one more, mother. This is the last date I will go on for the rest of my life!"

"But deary, you need to find someone! A girl like you has to work at it, honey. It doesn't come easy."

"I get it mother, who could love me?" Amy was so sick of her mother's veiled attempts at masking her disparaging comments with concern. But Amy knew that she had qualities that would make her be the best girlfriend, but she also knew that she had never wanted to let a person get that close to see them.

"No, honey, it's just men, you know how they are… They are visual… I don't want you to be an old maid! Alone, bitter, playing Canasta with the widows at the Shady Acres old folks home with Aunt Flora."

"It's not a home, it's a Senior center! We would never put Aunt Flora in a Home!"

"Of course not deary."

"And besides that, I like Canasta!"

"Nonsense! You need to go out, go dancing, go to movies, dinner... you know… have fun. Not too much fun! Just enough to catch a husband! Maybe a widower who already has kids, ya know, honey? That way…"

Amy cut her off, "Mother. I don't want to speak about children again. I am serious. This is the last date I will ever go on. I am going out tomorrow and buying my own grill! Good bye!"

Amy turned off her phone so she wouldn't get any more calls from her mother, and stomped off to bed for a restless night's sleep.

Saturday night came too soon for Amy as she readied herself for her date with a lackluster enthusiasm. She pulled out her purple jacket, dark tights and thick blouse. For some reason, she wanted thick wool armor tonight. She had to get this tedious date over and done with, like ripping off a band aid.

She had spent years alone, and had been relatively content with her existence. She was furious with herself for getting upset about Sheldon's amorous activities. Amy had not fully realized how much she had let her guard down with him, but never again. Though she had to confess, it wasn't difficult to do so. It was his overwhelming intelligence, charm and wit that had roped her in so quickly, she had to admit that he was one handsome devil. A fact that the cheeky blond had been enjoying in that laundry room.

Back at the gaming weekend, Sheldon was having the time of his life. Minutes had turned to hours and before Sheldon knew it, it was well past 5:00 pm on Saturday. He thought he'd slept, but he was unsure. All he knew was that it had been the most fun he had had in his whole life.

The gang had only just stopped playing to let Howard answer a phone call from his mother. Howard had tried to keep the conversation private, but it was impossible.

"MA! They guys can hear your geschrei from here!" Howard moved the phone away from his ear.

Raj looked at Sheldon confused, "What the heck is grease ray…"

Sheldon grinned and leaned over to Raj, "Geschrei, it's Yiddish, it means to shout."

Raj whispered, "Geez, is there anything you don't know?"

"Yes… Why Howard answered his phone." Sheldon smirked and Raj held up his hand to Sheldon to give him a high five. Sheldon reached up and shook it.

Howard finally got off the phone from his mother's yelling, but then had to contend with Leonard who snapped at his friend, "Howard! I thought I told you no phones!"

"I had it off most of the weekend! What? You didn't yell when Stuart had his phone on last time!"

Raj wondered out loud, "Speaking of Stuart, I wonder how his date with Amy will go…."

The whole room turned as they heard a loud crash. Sheldon had dropped his computer as he yelled through the room, "Excuse me? What?"

Leonard yelled again, "RAJ! You have a big mouth."

"What Date?"

Howard scurried closer to Leonard as a shield, "Her once a year thing. Not a real date."

Sheldon focused on Leonard like a laser sight, aiming for his heart. "You knew about this? Why didn't you fuckin tell me, Leonard?"

Sheldon rose off the couch and walked quickly over to Leonard who had backed toward the door in fear. He had never seen a man go from felicity to ferocity in such a short time. "Um Sheldon… Amy is very tight-lipped about her business and we had no idea how you felt."

Howard tried to calm Sheldon's anger, "Yeah, we figured that as you guys had just met, it would freak you out if we tried to put pressure on you to be with Amy."

Sheldon bellowed back to Howard, "FREAK OUT!? Finding out she is on a date with that bug eyed cartoonist is exactly what is freaking me out!" He looked at Leonard with wounded eyes, "Doesn't she know?"

"Doesn't who know what, Sheldon?"

Sheldon backed away from his new friend, if he could even call him that now. His eyes darted around processing what he had just learned. Why had she not said anything about this date? Why hadn't Leonard or the guys warned him about it? Did they not understand how he felt about her? Did they not comprehend that they belonged together? They should have known, he grumbled, but then realized, how could they? He had never said anything. He had to laugh at his own stupidity!

Sheldon's barked cackle was almost hysterical, making his friends look at him concerned.

Leonard could see the pain flood over his new friend's face. He put his hand on his shoulder, "She has no idea you have feelings for her. Do you?"

Sheldon shrugged off his comforting touch and just kept on chuckling to himself as he ran his hands through his hair, "I'm no better than that clueless asshole, number One. Hiding my feelings, expecting her to know…"

"Number One? Do you mean Riker? From Star Trek? I'd have to say, he was pretty good with the ladies…" Howard had always admired the lady's man William T Riker from Star Trek.

"NO! NOT him, God damn it!" Sheldon shook his head, picked up his broken laptop and started to pack up.

"Hey, where you going?"

Sheldon was packing at a feverous pace shoving his clothes into his bag without care, "I gotta talk to her. Talk some sense into her. She has no business with Stuart. She belongs with me!"

Raj stood up, "Exactly what I have been saying for days! Come on, Sheldon I will take you!"

Howard rose off the floor and with a high pitched whine, he cried out, "What about our weekend? Star Wars? Male bonding and all that?"

Leonard snorted and glared at Howard, "Oh please, your mother probably told you to go home. You'd be packing up in a minute anyway…"

Howard shrugged, "Yeah… You're right. She's made a Brisket."

Sheldon finished and looked over to Raj who was at the door, keys in hand. He cocked his head and studied him, "Why are you helping me with Amy?"

Raj grinned as he held the door for Sheldon, "I believe in true love. Now come on. Let's go get your woman."

Sheldon beamed at him, "Now you're talkin'"

Across town in Glendale, Amy was finishing off her makeup and struggling with her tights, "Damn cheap crap! What time is it? Do I have time to go buy a new pair of dark grey?"

Amy finally got them on and then sat on her bed with frown thinking about how she was going to loathe the evening. When she had been young, and naive, she had dreamt of a man who could make her quiver with a simple touch or a whisper of his breath on her, but those school girl dreams were long gone.

She sat up rigid in her spot, "Enough of this. Just one more and I am DONE!" Amy reached for her phone to check the time, and as she did this she realized that her phone had been off since Friday night since that terrible call with her mother.

When she turned it on, she saw a further 8 missed calls and numerous texts from the same unknown number she had seen on her phone the night before. She immediately read the texts, they were from Penny. Then she remembered that she had been so angry and upset at Sheldon last night, that she had forgotten to save the number he had text her. She certainly hadn't been expecting so many calls so soon from Sheldon's gorgeous neighbor and Amy wondered why she seemed to be so eager to contact her. Odd that a girl so pretty would be so needy. Amy hit redial and waited.

"Hello? Amy?" Penny answered right away.

Amy unconsciously straightened up and brushed back her hair.

"Penny. I am sorry I missed your calls, I was getting ready for a date…"

Penny let out a sigh of relief. She had been frantically trying to get in touch with Amy to tell her that Sheldon was not interested in Alicia. She had not been able to get the image of Amy's hurt and angry face out of her mind, and she believed that just one phone call would straighten out their misunderstanding. "Oh thank god! I knew Sheldon would talk to you!"

"Sheldon? No, I am going out with another man: Stuart."

Penny nearly dropped the phone on hearing this news. Boy, this girl gets around! Go Amy! Then she thought, "Wait, what about Sheldon?"

Amy tried to hold back her bitterness, but the phone couldn't hide her disappointment, "What about him? He is busy with the other blond woman with his magic hands… I never got her name, but I don't think he needed it..."

Penny howled, "NO! That is what I wanted to tell you! Alicia, that is that skank's name, was hitting on Sheldon, but he turned her down cold. And do you know why?"

Amy couldn't believe her ears. She could barely get out the words, "Why?"

"Because he's nuts over you! He told Alicia that before she ran out of the laundry room in tears."

"He made her cry?"

"Yes, he was quite upset that she had said something bad about you."

Amy hissed out her reply, "What did that little hussy say about me!?" Amy was ready for fight, and Penny was loving every minute of it.

"That bitch had the nerve to say you were mousey and you didn't deserve him."

Amy became quiet for a moment. That little jab had hit a little too close to home for her taste.

Penny thought she had lost her… "Amy? You still there?"

"Yes… Sorry. I was distracted. Tell me again, Penny… how did Sheldon make this skank cry?"

Though her conversation with Penny had been enlightening, she was still obligated to Stuart for the evening and Amy never broke a promise.

She heard a repetitive triple knock at her door, and looked at her watch, "35 minutes early? That's not a good sign, Stuart…"

Answering the door, she found Sheldon standing there, panting. He hadn't had the patience to wait for the elevator, so he had run up the stairs to the third floor.

Amy took a step back, "Sheldon! What are you doing here? How did you know where I live?"

"Amy…" Sheldon walked into the room and without a thought, put his hands on her hips to hold her stationary. He studied her face. She was wearing more makeup than normal, and a hint of perfume. It was nothing over powering, but not her usual scent. Sheldon's face faded to alabaster. "You… are… going out with him, aren't you?"

Amy pulled back, but Sheldon followed her, "Yes, how did you know? How did you get here?"

"Raj and Raj. He told me you had a date with Stuart, of all god damn people! Why didn't you tell me?" Sheldon looked wounded.

Amy, however, looked cross that he should think that what she did was any of his business. Also, she was not pleased that Raj had spread her business around, the little meddler, she thought. "I do have a date with Stuart. Rajesh had no business..." She pushed away from his touch but Sheldon held her shoulders.

Sheldon cut off her angry rant, "No! You have no business going out with Stuart! He is not good enough for you, Amy!"

Amy caught her breath, "Sheldon… I made a commitment to him. I cannot cancel. It would be so rude. Besides, when this is done, I will never have to date again! He will be here any minute."

Sheldon's face's distorted in a reddish hue, and his voice became raised, "YOU ARE NOT FOR HIM! YOU BELONG WITH ME, AMY! YOU ARE ALWAYS WITH ME!" Sheldon breathed heavily though his nose. He released Amy, who backed away and glowered at him.

"Sheldon! I don't belong to anyone. You and I are not dating. We are friends. WE just met a little more than week ago!"

Sheldon's eyes lit up and he smiled with victory, "Then be my girlfriend. NOW. That way you don't have to date stupid Stuart."

Amy let out a sigh, "Stuart isn't stupid."

"He is compared to me!"

"Sheldon! Everyone is stupid compared to you!"

Sheldon waved his arms out, exasperated, "EXACTLY, so why are you bothering with him, you should be with ME?"

Amy raised her voice to a level Sheldon hadn't heard from her lips before, "Now listen up! I have an obligation to Stuart that I had made long before I met you and I made this date before I knew you were interested in me AT ALL, which is new information from oh I don't know ONLY 2 MINUTES AGO!"

Sheldon gulped and watched as Amy seemed to grow tall, "I will go on this date, and you will NOT dictate to me with whom I go out, or where…" She was poking his chest, backing him up against the kitchen counter. "And furthermore, IF I EVER decide to date you, which right now is highly unlikely, you had better lose this idea of telling me what to do or this will be over before it starts, you got me MISTER!"

Sheldon swallowed, "Yes ma'am." He started to breathe heavily again, but this time in arousal over this woman who had just put him in his place. The other Sheldons were right; this woman was a 5 foot-tall pole cat when she was mad.

Amy turned in a huff and walked away from him.

"But Amy…" Sheldon tried to walk toward her, but Amy twirled around, held up one finger, and stopped him in his tracks.

"NO BUTS! Now, get out of here, and let me go on my date." Amy turned her back to him again.

Sheldon asked uncertainly, "Will you be my girlfriend?"

Her back still toward him hid Amy's softening expression, "No!"

"Will you go on a date with me?" He stepped closer to her.

Amy crossed her arms over her chest, but still didn't turn around, "I'm not certain after your behavior tonight."

"Then let me ask you this," Sheldon came up behind her and put his hand around her waist so his fingers where just below her chest. With the other hand he pulled back her hair so that he could speak into her ear. Amy stiffened up at his touch as he leaned in. He spoke so softly and so close that she felt his soft lips on the ridge of her ear. "Tell me Amy… Does he make you feel like this. Like you make me feel?"

Sheldon ran his lips down her ear to her neck and then back up again inhaling her scent. Amy leaned back onto his chest as she struggled to gasp for air and words.

Sheldon moved back to her ear, "Do you feel like your heart will beat out of your chest. Does he make you lose your breath with just the slight graze of his hand? Do you feel exhilarated every second he is near, with every word he speaks to you? If you answer no, that why on earth are you wasting your time?"

Sheldon released her and started toward her apartment door. "Enjoy your date, Amy." He left before she could find the strength to turn around.

About 25 minutes later, Stuart showed up at the door. She took a while to answer and he was surprised to find Amy flushed and out of breath. "Oh… um… forgive me.. I was um… Brushing my teeth. Are you ready?" Amy put her hair back in place and grappled with her purse.

Stuart was wearing a pleasant light grey shirt, with agreeable dark grey pants. It was all very… nice…

"Hello Amy. Are you ready to go, or do still want to… I understand if you are busy." He looked toward his black shoes and noticed they were dull. He had forgotten to shine them. No wonder, she didn't want to go out with him Stuart moaned to himself.

"No Stuart, I appreciate you doing this for me. Shall we?" Amy locked up her apartment and kept her fixed smile as she walked with Stuart to the elevator.

Their meal was adequate and Amy thought the conversation was tolerable. His humor was on the beam and he had acceptable table manners. After the dull movie, Stuart drove her home and walked her to the door.

He gave her a soft smile, "Well… This was nice."

"Yes.. nice. Thank you for a pleasant evening Stuart. I appreciate your participation in this tedious outdated social ritual." Amy smiled and was about to turn around but Stuart lunged in for hug. Amy returned it with a pat on his back. "Thank you again, Stuart."

"Well, thank you for the nice hug, Amy. It should hold me for a while."

"You're welcome Stuart. Thank you for being so understanding." Amy smiled, and watched Stuart leave. As soon as the elevator door closed she let out a huge sigh of relief and leaned against her apartment door. She pulled out her phone and texted Sheldon.

"NO"

She pulled out her keys to open the door when she heard a loud beep sound emanating from the stair well. She turned around, marched over to the door and poked her head through the glass of the stairwell door to see the source. Throwing open the door, she crossed her arms and narrowed her gaze at the tall man crouched before her.

"Um… Hello." Sheldon said sheepishly.

Amy rolled her eyes, "Sheldon! It is not okay to camp out and stalk me! That's very creepy."

Sheldon stood up and brushed off his pants, "I understand that. Just be thankful I didn't wait in your apartment!" Sheldon followed her, and swallowed the lump in his throat knowing that he had overstepped the mark by camping out in her stairwell. But desperate measures were called for. Who knew what handsy Stuart was capable of in this universe? Stalking was a small price to pay.

"MY APARTMENT? How could you even get in there?"

Sheldon waved the question away dismissively. "You ask a lot of questions, Amy Farrah Fowler, but more importantly, what did NO mean? No to being my girlfriend… or.." Sheldon took a step forward and crumpled his brow with worry, "Or no because Stuart makes… you feel that way about… um what I said… before, that thing."

"Well… it was no to being your girlfriend! That is for sure." She spun around and headed back toward her door. Sheldon's shoulders drooped and he looked like a dog beaten from the pound.

"It certainly was NO to Stuart making me all knocked kneed. I told him thank you very much, but that was our last date." She turned and smiled at him over her shoulder.

Sheldon suddenly grew the four inches of height he had lost in the last 20 seconds. "Then… it was 'No' for Stuart's deserved rejection?" But there was still uncertainty in his voice when he asked, "Um what else was the text of NO for, Amy?"

Amy turned to him and said flatly, "No to a date. It is nothing but a meaningless waste of time. Not worthy of your intelligence."

Sheldon stepped over to Amy, and ran his hand down her cheek, "A date with me will never be a waste of time, darlin'."

Amy batted his hand away, "First off, how many dates have you been on, darlin'" She had to squash this swagger of his before it got wings. Sheldon made a mental never to call her darlin' again. He should have known his brother's phraseology wouldn't work on real women.

Sheldon backed away and sucked in his bottom lip, "Um… none."

Amy smirked. She suspected as much, "So you have no idea how a date with you will be. I have been on plenty of dates, mister. I can tell you, it's a time suck. We should drop this romance stuff and just have fun. No romantic pressure."

"Well, I think that's silly. I mean why go on a date?"

"Exactly. I'm glad you agree." Amy turned away from him to fix a cup of tea, but Sheldon jumped around her to stop her.

Sheldon wouldn't give up, not when he had seen her steal quick glances at him, smile at his voice alone and laugh with her eyes. He wasn't the best at reading facial expressions, but he knew when someone was lying. Amy Farrah Fowler was lying to herself, and Sheldon knew it.

Sheldon glowered at her, "Let me see if I get this straight… You went out with Stuart, a man so beneath your intelligence that it was charity to spend more than five minutes speaking to him. However, when a man who WANTS to date you, WANTS to be with you, you say no?"

Amy waved Sheldon off, "Well, Stuart WANTED to date me…"

Sheldon voice rose slightly, "Yeah, but it was Stuart!"

Amy nodded her head "True…" Then she glared him, "… but it's still no!"

Sheldon leaned against her kitchen island and crossed his arms over his chest with a defiant stance, "Amy Farrah Fowler, I think you're chicken."

Amy spun around and stuck her bottom lip out, "I am not!"

Sheldon curled up a smile, "So tell me, how long have you suffered from philophobia?"

"I'm not afraid of love! Or dating! I'm afraid of you!" Amy turned from Sheldon braced her hands on the counter for strength.

Sheldon stood up straight, shocked, "Me? Why me?"

"Sheldon… I've been on dates, and never had any connection." Amy turned around to face Sheldon and tell him the truth, "But with you…It's different. I do have a connection, and it's special. Too special to ruin with romance and empty hopes. I just think we should have a relationship that is … more of the mind than the heart."

Sheldon drew in a long breath and took a moment to gather his thoughts as Amy avoided his gaze. Finally he shook his head and said, "I don't want that, Amy. I want both."

"I won't risk one for the other. I don't want to be alone!" Amy let out her confession as her voice cracked.

"But you won't be! I'll be with you!" Sheldon placed his hands on her arms but she pulled away before she could warm to the touch.

"No. If this fails… If you change your mind, or something happens…" Amy shook her head as she rung her hands together.

Sheldon raised his voice, "You're not makin' sense Amy. So, you'd rather be alone your whole life so you won't be alone?"

Amy smiled and let out a sigh, "Yes! You get it!"

"Nope! Don't get it." Sheldon just chuckled, "Let me tell ya something, little lady. I've been alone for my whole life. There's an empty false comfort in it. You know what to expect, there are no surprises. You think it takes away the fear they won't hurt you, but it only masks it." Sheldon crossed his arms in victory and with smug smirk, raised his brow to Amy who glared at him.

Amy stomped her foot, "Damn your memory! That is what I said to you on the first day!"

"Yep…. Now, I'll tell ya, a very prominent neurobiologist told me once to ease into a situation in order to face your fears gradually. Come on, Amy we are scientists. Take a little risk and see what the results are before you make a conclusion!"

Amy turned around and walked to the kitchen to continue making her tea but mostly to think. It was a long 73 seconds before she finally turned around.

Amy smirked, and said confidently, "Yes… "

"YES?!" Sheldon grinned.

"Yes to ONE date."

"Only ONE?" Sheldon whined, but Amy cut him off.

"Or none, I'm okay with that…." Amy had to hide her smirk, but it was Sheldon's turn to interrupt.

Sheldon glared at her, "Oh no, you don't! You said you'd go on a date with me! What did you say about Stuart? And I quote, "I made a commitment to him. I cannot cancel. It would be so rude."

Amy glared at him. Damn eidetic memory. "Fine! But you need to know this, it's what I say to all my dates! All forms of physical contact, up to and including coitus are off the table."

"All forms?" Sheldon gulped and walked back a step.

"Yes." Amy didn't waver in look or movement.

Sheldon thought about it and produced a grin that gave Amy shivers, "Hm…Okay. I can do that. How's tomorrow sound?"

"TOMORROW? Can't we wait till next week?"

"Nope. Gotta be tomorrow." Sheldon smirked and started to walk out of the door and then stopped, and held it open. He turned back and looked down at Amy's legs.

"Ya got any jeans?"

"JEANS? I don't wear pants."

Sheldon clicked his cheek, "Ah... too bad. I was going to pick you up on my bike."

Amy swallowed, "I've never been on a motorcycle…" She remembered something he had said and crossed her arms, "HEY! Your bike is broken, I thought."

"I fixed it." Sheldon smiled with a little twitch in his eyes. "No matter. I'll work something out." He grinned, "See ya tomorrow Amy, 6:30?"

"Sure… sure…" Amy slowly closed the door.

He quickly raced down the stairs to find Raj sleeping in his car, blasting Taylor Swift songs.

Raj woke up as soon as he heard Sheldon open the door, "SO!? How'd it go? Did you run off Stuart, the third round draft pic?"

Sheldon bobbed his head back with surprise, "Sports metaphor? And you think I will get it?"

Raj shrugged, "You get everything."

"True and I do get it." Sheldon chuckled, "That's pretty funny. Stuart is no longer an issue, but I didn't have to run him off after all. Amy took care of it." Sheldon settled back in the car seat with giddy grin.

Raj was clasping his hands together in hopeful anticipation of a strong declaration of love. He wanted this romance as much Sheldon. "Smart woman. I knew you two were meant for each other! Are you and Amy an item? Is love in the air?"

"Not yet, but the air is pretty thick, I think..." Sheldon smiled as he bit his lower lip, "Oh, it just a matter of time."

A/N: Little less Angst in this chapter, no? Next time, their first date!

Just a side note: Lately, every episode I watch and taping report I read gives me a deep sense of despair over this show. Your reviews have really brought me a bright spot. Thank you so much for you all support, and the fact that you are still reading this crazy tale, even if you are disillusioned with the show makes me keep on writing. Thanks so much.