Nothing But The Truth.
Authors Note: I would like to thank-you all for reading and sticking with me! I also would like to apologise for the extremely late update although I kinda feel that I have redeemed myself as this chapter is definitley too long. No matter! I hope you enjoy this chapter! Let me know what you think! There will be plenty of Belle and Rumple in the next chapter so do not fear!
Disclaimer: I still own nothing!
Unforgettable Memories.
Gold wanders aimlessly down Main street, which appears to be uncharacteristically deserted on a Friday morning. Gold glances at his watch, it reads 09:36am. He looks around him and then looks to the sky. It is painted grey and is plagued with an array of black clouds. It promises nothing but rain and a possible storm. A cold gust of wind whips around him causing his hair to become dishevelled. Gold pulls up the collar of his coat and continues to walk down the street, fighting against the bursts of cold winds and limping heavily on his cane. The bad weather always seems to worsen the pain in his ankle. He looks around him and his gaze drifts to the library. Belle's library. He wonders briefly how it is doing. He assures himself that he would ask Belle once he is back home. His mind drifts to her, although he is sure his thoughts had never truly strayed far away from Belle. Gold considers what she might be doing and smiles as he imagines her searching through her closet for her best outfits. She always looked beautiful, Gold thinks to himself, no matter what she wears. Whether she would wear a skirt or jeans she always rendered him speechless, even when she wandered back into his life wearing that horrid hospital gown. She always took his breath away. He could hardly believe that she was his. For now at least, his mind sneers at him as he reminisces on the pure beauty she exhibited when she wore her elegant wedding suit and the splendid gold dress that he had provided for her for their first dance.
"She didn't mind my magic then." he whispers to himself with a glimmer of hope as he continues to walk, unsure of his destination. "In fact that gesture made her..." Gold closed his eyes and remembered the delicate smile born of true happiness that she wore on her face that day."happy". He mutters sadly to himself before reminding himself that now it was different. He had been given the chance at a fresh start. A chance to be a hero and he had destroyed it. He had made a selfish decision that he would now regret for the rest of his long life as it would result in him losing the only person who mattered to him. The prospect of losing Belle makes Gold's mind race and his heart twinge with regret. He looks down, closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before shaking his head.
"But you've not lost her yet." He mutters to himself. She is still here. She is at home. Their home. She is preparing for their weekend together. She is happy. Perhaps he should allow himself to be also. Gold feels afraid. He is afraid that if he does not allow himself to be happy, Belle would read him like an open book. She would definitely see that there is a problem, something that he is not telling her. Gold contemplates this for a moment before he scowls. He doesn't deserve happiness. Perhaps once upon a time he did, when he was a spinner. But now? Now he deserved to be miserable. Gold truly expected to be miserable for the rest of his immortal days. After all the terror he had caused over the previous 300 years he could simply not expect much more.
Gold crosses the road cautiously and reminisces earlier on this morning. Gold had stood in the kitchen of his and Belles home cooking her pancakes. His mind had been churning all night refusing to switch off for just a moment. At 4am he had made the decision to get up and spin for a short while. Afterall Gold always did his best thinking whilst spinning. When the clock read 7am Gold peered out of the window. The sun had risen and the birds had began to sing. Gold had finally reached a decision. Gold had decided that he would whisk Belle away for a weekend alone in his cabin. He had come to own the cabin as part of a deal he made years ago. He had planned to demolish it but thankfully hadn't gotten around to it. Gold knew that if this weekend went as expected, he never would. The cabin is situated in the depths of the deep forest surrounding Storybrooke. It is truly beautiful this time of year, almost as beautiful as Belle. Almost. He was looking forward to truly being alone with Belle. Gold allows his mind to wander as he continues to roam the streets of Storybrooke. They hadn't truly been alone since the time they had spent together at the dark castle in the enchanted forest. A ghost of a smile appears on his features as he recalls catching her when she gracefully tumbled off of the ladder. It was in that moment he knew he could love her. However he had pushed her away which had lead the evil queen to toy with him. His brow furrows and he involuntarily snarls whilst he thinks of the torture Belle must have endured when she was held captive by the Evil Queen. The knowledge that Belle's pain had once again been ultimately caused by him leaves an ache in his heart and darkness in his thoughts. The short burst of happiness that Gold had felt is soon drowned out by the darkness. It engulfs his happy memories and takes with it his hope. Gold grimaces. He knows that when this weekend comes to an end he will have undoubtedly caused Belle pain again. His heart breaks in his chest, tears well in his eyes and he lets out a shaky breath.
Gold soon finds himself outside of the ever popular Granny's diner. He and Belle had shared many moments alone and with the people of Storybrooke in this diner. It held so many memories. Golds mind lingers on these thoughts as he looks up towards the sign of the diner. He doubts that he would be coming here after this weekend was over. Anywhere that held too many memories would be forbidden in order to save his heart from any further anguish. Gold decides to step inside in order to purchase a snack for Belle to eat, if she should wish to, on their drive to the cabin. He hopes that the diner isn't too busy as he aims to avoid any conversation or altercation with anyone. Gold is not in the mood for idle chat, especially after his earlier conversation with Emma. That was more than enough torture to endure for one day.
Gold puts on the mask of the beast before pushing the door to the diner open and entering. His eyes carefully but quickly scan the busy room. He sees Leroy sat on a bar stool with a large breakfast in front of him. Leroy eyes him warily as does Ruby who stands on the other side of the counter whispering to Leroy behind her hand. Gold feels himself stiffen when he comes to the devastating truth that they must know his secret. The other people in the diner seem to be acting relatively normal and are oblivious to his presence. In the corner he spys Regina, robin and Henry enjoying hot chocolate and apple turnovers. Dr whale sits alone at the counter drinking his coffee whilst reading the morning paper. In one of the booths the charmings sit in deep conversation. Mary Margaret smiles as she holds Neal close to her chest. A small smirk reaches Golds lips before he is reminded of the loss of his son and it soon fades. He tries not to think of Baelfires passing. Although his death was avenged it did little to console the feelings of despair, sorrow and helplessness of losing a child. He lost Baelfire so many times. Each time he was determined that he would find his way to Bae but this time, there simply was no way he could. Gold had accepted that even his death could not promise him a reunion with his son.
Gold saunters over to the counter of the diner and glances towards Mrs Lucas who is wearing her glasses low on her nose as she wanders through the back door of the diner holding two plates of pancakes.
"One moment," she mutters as she passes him and walks towards the charmings to place the pancakes in front of them. Gold feels the happiness radiating from them and throughout the diner. The charmings happiness leads Golds mind to think of Belle without hesitation and her pure genuine smile he has seen so often. Unfortunately less so recently. Perhaps he would see that smile this weekend. Perhaps he could find a way to capture her smile so that he would never forget it. He would want it to last for a lifetime after she had left. Perhaps there was a form of magic that would allow him to accomplish such a thing.
"What can I get you?" Mrs Lucas asks pulling him from his thoughts abruptly. He looks at her blankly for a moment. His thoughts take a moment to unscramble. He blinks. Mrs Lucas' face reads impatience as Mr gold clears his throat and glances towards the menu on the counter in front of him. He should just order for Belle he thinks to himself. He couldn't eat right now. Thoughts of losing Belle and nerves of the significant weekend ahead were both doing well to quash his appetite.
"Just a blueberry muffin." He states wearily. He looks down at his hands which rest over his cane. Golds thoughts go back to where they had left off. He mentally begins to sort through all the magic that he has knowledge of. Ah! Enchanted spectacles could do it. He thinks before he realises that it would arouse Belles suspicion if he all of a sudden were to wear glasses. Something else perhaps? He questions himself. He would need a kind of magic that would allow him to capture a moment in time.
"Something on your mind?" The voice of David startles him slightly. He looks to his left to see David standing unnervingly close with a knowing smile plastered on his charming face. Gold rolls his eyes. He really was not in the mood for idle chat with another charming. His shoulders tense before he turns to David.
"No offence Dearie, but a tortuous conversation with one charming is more than enough for one day." Gold quips. He looks David in the eye for a short moment before he turns his attention to looking impatiently for Mrs Lucas. How long could it possibly take for a woman to fetch him a blueberry muffin, Gold complains to himself as he drums his fingers ontop of the counter.
"Emma told me that she had come to see you." David states. Gold is aware of David staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He really did not want to be engaging in conversation with Charming right now. He needed to be at home with Belle. The memories that Granny's Diner holds were beginning to close in on him and he begins to feel as though they are slowly suffocating the life from him. Gold sighs and glances back down at his clasped hands. He delicately runs his finger over the gold band he wears on his left ring finger. Perhaps David could offer him some advice, Gold wanders to himself. After all Gold was not well practised in revealing the truth. David definitely had more experience in that respect. He turns towards David and opens his mouth to say something. However gold is interrupted by Mrs Lucas as she places the muffin on the counter in front of him. He looks at the delicious snack and frowns.
"I'll have it to go please, Dearie." He mutters. Mrs Lucas nods as she unsubtly rolls her eyes. She stalks away from them again, presumably to collect a bag to put the muffin in. Gold turns back to David as he begins to speak again.
"You know, sometimes the ones we love can surprise us." David says quietly. Gold stares at him intently. He blinks and he ponders on what David has said before he takes a shaky breath.
"Perhaps." Gold pauses. "However in this case I highly doubt it." He replies. His gaze is fixed on the muffin in front of him. He couldn't allow himself to feel hope. It would be nothing but false. The only way Belle would surprise him, would be for her to forgive him and he knew that that was completely and utterly out of the question. Belle would finally see him for what he was. A weak, cowardly monster. All the good she had once seen would vanish and she would run from him for the last and final time.
"Gold," Charming interrupts Golds depressive musings. "Sometimes, hope is what we need. It can be a glimmer of light in the darkest of days." David states. He gives gold a sorrowful look before turning to leave.
Gold is thankful that his encounter with David didn't last as long as his earlier conversation with Emma. If he wasn't so weary, anger would have probably rose to the surface at David's inability to respect his privacy but he can't help but be grateful. He watches as David's back turns to face him and he takes a few steps towards his wife and child.
"Charming." He utters loud enough for David to hear but soft enough to ensure that the other customers in Granny's diner would not be alerted. David turns and walks the few steps back to Golds side. He waits patiently for Gold to speak. Gold is busy fighting with his pride and ego. He doesn't like asking for advice. It makes him feel small and inferior however advice was exactly what he needed. If asking for advice was the price to pay for Belle's happiness then Gold would willingly pay it. He wants nothing more than for Belle to be happy. He knew he was making the right decision.
At that moment Mrs Lucas returns with the bag for the muffin. She places the muffin in the bag and sets it back on the counter. Gold gives her the correct money for Belles snack and turns his attention back to David.
"Any advice?" Gold questions. His gaze shifts to every spot in the diner except from David. His nerves rise to the surface of his skin. He did not like asking for guidance. David didn't know of his plans and he didn't need to. Those plans are private and they would remain that way. Gold hears David sigh.
"Dwelling on the past is futile as is worrying about the future. The here and now is the only thing that matters but if you let the darkness from the past and the uncertainty of the future cloud your thoughts you'll miss the precious details from today." David whispers slowly as if it is a sacred secret that should never be shared. David pats him lightly on the shoulder before retreating back to his breakfast with his wife. Gold blinks. David is right. He had spent so much time worrying about his future and thinking of his past that if he wasn't careful he would miss precious details worth remembering. Gold thinks for a moment and comes to the realisation that if he isn't careful this weekend would not be filled with memories of happiness but self loathing and bitterness. He wouldn't let that happen. He needs this last weekend with her. To have her. To hold her. To love her. Gold sighs and picks up the muffin from the counter. Time to focus on today. He wanted to give Belle the best weekend of her life and that he would do.
Gold looks around the diner once more before turning to leave. Out of the corner of his eye he catches a glimpse of a flash of light. At first he suspects Regina of using magic but then the flash appears again. And again. He watches as Henry uses a cube shaped silver object which seems to be emitting the flash when he presses a circular button on the top of the device. Golds brow furrows as he wonders what kind of magic Henry holds in his hands. He couldn't imagine that Regina nor Emma would allow him to practise magic. He edges towards their table warily. As he does so he realises that the object Henry is holding is one that he is familiar with. Henry had used one of these items from this world in New York. After a seconds thought Gold finds that he is unable to think of the objects title.
"Gold..." Regina begins. Gold realises that he has simply stood at their table saying nothing for a moment. Gold readys himself to explain but thankfully he is interrupted by Henry.
"Morning Grandpa!" He smiles at gold. Gold returns his smile and wonders when he had become so fond of his grandson.
"Morning Henry. Could I have a moment please." Gold asks still unable to name the object resting in his hands. Regina eyes gold curiously. Henry nods and moves to follow his grandfather into private towards the counter. Gold turns to Henry and places his finger ontop of the device in Henrys hand.
"Henry. I remember you using something similar to this in New York. However it's title appears to be lost to..." Gold starts but is interrupted.
"It's a digital camera grandpa. It captures moments that you might not want to forget and puts it onto a card which you can then get printed as a photograph." Henry states as a matter of fact.
"Of course. I remember now." Gold utters as he rolls his eyes at himself. Of course its a camera. He looks at the camera a little closer and thinks to himself. That is exactly what he needs. He needs a camera. A device such as the camera would allow him to capture his final happy memories with Belle and savour them for the rest of his long and lonely life. This device would allow him to achieve this without magic and without arousing suspicion from Belle. Perfect. However he is far too impatient to wait for the photograph to be developed and he isn't as familiar with the technology of this world as he would like to be. Perhaps he had something similar to Henrys camera hiding away in his shop. Gold pulls himself from his thoughts and looks back to Henry.
"Thanks Henry". He said smiling. Gold touches Henry lightly on the shoulder before he gradually makes his way to the door of the diner holding the bagged muffin in one hand and his cane in the other.
The wind seems to have let up a little and the sun begins to shine causing the clouds to have a slight silver lining. Gold hopes that the weather would be in his and Belles favour for their weekend. He begins to walk in the direction he had come, back towards his shop. His thoughts are momentarily distracted by the quest to find a camera. Gold knows that the last person to complete the inventories at the shop was Belle. He stops briefly and balances his cane and the muffin in one hand. Gold pulls his mobile phone from his pocket. He sighs and his stomach flutters at the thought of hearing Belles voice. He presses the first digit on his phone and a ringing tone echoes in his ear. Gold takes a deep breath in order to calm his nerves. The phone rings and rings and rings and rings.
"Hi," Belles cheerful tone reaches his ear and he sighs in relief.
"Belle..." Gold begins.
"You have reached the voicemail of Belle French. I'm sorry I can't take your call right now. Leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can." Golds relief is short lived. Panic begins to rise in his chest as he ends the call and immediately redials. The phone rings and rings and rings. The ringing of the phone is a sound he is beginning to hate. His panic begins to boil over in his chest. A thousand thoughts run through Golds mind all at once and his panic begins to turn into frustration.
"Come on Belle pick up" Gold mutters to himself. Perhaps someone has told her. He thinks. The phone rings. Perhaps she is gone. and rings. Golds chest constricts and his body becomes cold. His face drains of all colour at the thought of a life without Belle. She cant be gone. Not yet. Gold feels the darkness coupled with agony and despair creep up his spine. It is threatening to take over him. His teeth are clenched and his hands are fisted. He sees his vision begin to blur with darkness from the outside in.
"Hey!" Belles sweet cheerful voice echoes through his ears and the darkness immediately dissipates. The welcome sound causes him to close his eyes and an overwhelming feeling of relief floods over him. Gold exhales a long breath that he hadn't realised he had been holding.
"Belle..." He tries, however his voice betrays him. He takes another deep breath and clears his throat.
"Is everything okay Rumple" she asks before he can speak again. He can hear her concern for him in her voice. He curses himself for worrying her. Gold imagines the small frown that would surely be upon her brow right now and wishes to kiss it away gently. He shakes his head and clears his throat again.
"Yes sweetheart." He breathes. "Just finishing up." He smiles gently as the feeling of relief rushes through his blood stream. "I was just calling to ask..." He stumbles on his words slightly. The feelings he holds for her continue to astound and unnerve him. His stomach flutters as he discreetly takes another deep breath. "You have been taking care of the inventories and I was wondering if there is anything which resembles a camera at the shop." He listens intently as silence grows over the phone.
"Well, there is something similar. However it is much older" She states. Gold listens to Belle happily as she rambles about its different features and how it works. He realises that he could listen to her happily for hours. He becomes entranced by her voice. He loses track of what she is saying as his mind involuntarily drifts to how much he is going to miss his darling Belle once the weekend is over. Sadness washes over him and he glances down at his hands as he thinks about how empty and lonely his life will become.
"Rumple... Are you listening to me?" Belle asks, pulling him from his thoughts. Gold is startled for a moment. His eyes go wide and he smiles at how brave she is. Only Belle would be brave enough to speak to the dark one in such a manner. He mentally corrects himself. Right she doesn't know. Yet. Gold suddenly realises that he hasn't replied to Belle.
"Of Course sweetheart!" He lies quickly.
"So the best feature is that it prints the photo there and then." She finishes as though she never stopped at all. Gold smiles a smile that reaches his eyes.
"That's perfect Belle, thank-you" he thanks her sincerely. She is a wonderful woman and always had been. He knows that he is utterly undeserving of her; her kindness, her loyalty, her beauty and most of all her love.
"It's no matter." She states, he imagines her smiling shyly as she says the words. The line is quiet for a moment, neither of them saying anything. Gold doesn't want to say goodbye. He can't bring himself to say the words. He opens his mouth but Belle beats him to it. "Rumple, Im going to finish packing. See you soon?" She finishes with a question. Golds heart twinges with pain. He senses Belles uncertainty that he would not return. Perhaps she is just as afraid of losing him as he is of losing her. Gold finds himself nodding to her in response before realising that she cannot see him.
"Yes," he says quickly. "See you soon, Belle." Gold finishes and listens for a moment. The tone signalling that Belle has ended the call doesn't come as soon as he suspects it to. He hears her breathing. Gold opens his mouth to attempt to ask if she is okay but he is once again interrupted by a declaration from Belle.
"I love you." She whispers before her angelic voice is replaced by the piercing sound of the dialling tone. A tear comes to his eye. She loves me. The thought repeats itself in his brain, over and over. Before an unwelcome thought interrupts. It wont be long before I break her heart. His mind and heart are plagued with sorrow and sadness. She is his lone light in all of his darkness. What would he do without her? He places his phone back into his pocket and enters his shop.
Gold follows Belles instructions to the location of the camera. According to Belle the old Polaroid camera is in a rectangular leather brown bag in the back. He walks towards the clothing rail and finds it hanging on one end. Gold unhooks the bag quickly before he checks that all the necessary equipment is in the bag. He walks back out to the front of the antiques store and places the camera bag onto the counter carefully.
"Dwelling on the past is futile as is worrying about the future." Gold repeats Davids words to himself. They seem to echo around the shop and come back to him. Gold promises himself to dwell less on what has or will happen and instead treasure the moments that are happening right now. He must allow himself to be happy this weekend if he wants Belle to be happy. He thinks to himself for a moment. They were truly happy in the alternative life that the author created for them. Perhaps they could be happy, perhaps that life wasn't as different as he believed it to be. Gold smiles briefly to himself as he picks up the camera bag and walks towards the door of the shop. He turns out the light and turns his back on the darkness. He needs to be happy for Belle. He could do that. He could do anything for Belle. He would do anything for Belle. Anything.