Chapter 13

Thanks again to ShAmy4evr for everything, and the long nights of edits she does for our story!

Thursday morning Amy arrived early yet again to pick Sheldon up so that they could share their early morning tea. Their lively conversations continued to be the highpoint of her day, each minute she spent listening to his lyrical voice, she was tumbling further into a burning attraction to Sheldon. His demeanor was changing as well. He seemed to be more comfortable with her, and the group. It was strange how he seemed to have an uncanny ability to relate to the guys, as if had he met them before.

At lunch, it was as if he had been friends with them for years. Even though the conversation was about some paintball contest that seemed akin to gladiators with toy guns, Amy was still able to enjoy the banter between the guys. As soon as Howard had heard that Sheldon could shoot the spots off a butterfly wing from a 100 yards, he was pressing them all to enter the inter-departmental paintball battle competition.

Sheldon was overjoyed at the prospect of playing the game with the group that is once he had rigged the voting so that he would be team captain. The best part was that they would be up against Barry Kripke, who it seems had won all previous contests. Other than spending more alone time with Amy, Sheldon could think of nothing more pleasant than humiliating Krikpe in a glorious battle that would shut the scoundrel up once and for all.

Later that evening, the boys gathered at 4A to play a game and discuss the battle strategy. They had been so fired up with the thoughts of defeating Kripke, that they had left work early and had spent the afternoon purchasing paint ball gear to get Sheldon suited up for battle. Sheldon had purchased all the gear he would need including a rifle that had the same balance as his father's.

Sheldon was looking forward to impressing the guys with his shooting skills however the feel of holding a rifle in his hand brought back far too many memories for Sheldon. There was the memory of his father's voice as he showed him how to shoot so close to raccoon it would crap itself. That had been his first experience with his father and fire arms, and it had been while his mother was still alive. Unusually, though Sheldon would have much rather have spent the weekend studying, this was actually a fond memory for him. It was one of the few times his father had showed any pride in his abilities.

After his mother had died however, there were endless weekends of traipsing through the swamps and back woods on hunting expeditions with his eager father and bored brother who was constantly berated for not being as good at shooting as his egg-head brother Sheldon. Sheldon could use his knowledge of physics, and thanks to a steady hand from hours of video game play, he would always hit his mark. Unfortunately Junior's eye sight was poor thanks to one too many hits at football practice but this didn't stop George Cooper from calling him a "useless pussy who couldn't hit the side of a barn." However Sheldon always suspected that Junior would miss on purpose. For all his bluster in front of his father, Junior was a gentle soul who didn't want any creature to suffer. Sheldon would see the same look on Junior's face when he was forced to hit him during boxing practice. Junior had felt the agony just as much as Sheldon had.

One weekend, Junior had finally had enough and when their father had tried to get him to shoot a large buck, Junior just turned to his father, and saying "There ain't no joy in other's pain, Daddy." He lowered his rifle loudly to scare off the deer. Sheldon learned more from his brother on those expeditions then he ever did from his father.

None of his new friends had the hunting experience that Sheldon had and though they had been playing paint ball for years, they had never had a victory. Even with Leslie Winkle on their team, they still couldn't pull off a win. The infighting between Howard and Leonard over her affections had quickly caused the team to disband.

However though Raj had eventually convinced the men to put aside their differences, their efforts were still lackluster. In fact, they were bottom in the department ranking. Sheldon was surprised, given the weak competition; the majority of the teams against them were pathetic at best. The team from Geology might have had an advantage due to their familiarity with the terrain, but with cumbersome Bert, they had no chance. Sheldon was worried that the Botany team's knowledge of local flora would be an advantage, but his suggestion to purchase a defoliant for the battle, was voted down. However the only real competition was Barry's team. They had a crack shot chemist who had a cat like agility as well as two other team members whose military training, Sheldon felt, gave them an unfair advantage. Barry's swagger had to be quashed.

Once the strategy had been decided, Sheldon and his friends finished their evening with a large pizza and a few rounds of Halo. Sheldon had played video games by himself for years, but it was vastly more enjoyable to play with the group. Sheldon's home was slowly becoming more decorated with bits and bobbles reflecting his long ignored personality.

His father had discouraged his "sissy" childish pursuits such as comic books, fantasy books or science fiction saying they were distractions from reality. Sheldon had hidden his escapist habits in his dorm at Rice, while his room at home was Spartan. Sheldon, now wearing his new Green Lantern t-shirt, looked around the room at his new group of friends bickering over the controllers, and his new Batman Cookie Jar filled with Oreos, he was glad to bid goodbye to that austere lifestyle. He finally felt he was recapturing something that had been lost years ago.

The next day as they drove to work, Amy was surprised when Sheldon told her that he had arranged for Leonard to drive him home, but would not explain the reason for the change to their normal routine, or what his plans were for that evening. Amy was further surprised when later that afternoon, going round to see him to confirm the time for their date the next day, she was told that he and Leonard had left around 2:00pm. So Amy decided to take a chance and call her new friend Penny for an impromptu girls' night.

Penny rousted Bernadette, and they dragged Amy to the salon to gussy her up for her forthcoming date. Amy knew she shouldn't have been nervous over a simple date at the zoo, but she wanted everything to be perfect. Her hope for the relationship was like a field of blooming flowers, with her doubts as land mines. He had always seemed so eager for her to drive him, why not this evening? Did he lie about his hand, and if so why? More importantly though, were those gestures of affection that she had become addicted to real? At any moment, she feared he would say, "Bazinga," a phrase he had started to use anytime he thought he had got one over on the group. She wanted to believe that he was as in earnest as she was about this new romance, but the gnawing doubt that he was hiding something kept her wondering.

Having enjoyed the pampering in the salon and the girly chatter with her new friends, Amy returned home to finish of the relaxing process by resting her feet a pedicure bath, when she received a text from Sheldon.

"Are you having a pleasant evening, Dr. Fowler?"

"Yes, currently I am soaking my toes in warm soapy water." Amy wriggled her toes as if to show him what she was doing.

Sheldon sent back: "Good thing you fixed your webbed feet when you were young. Smart girl."

Amy stopped at that statement and wracked her brain for when she had told Sheldon about preforming surgery on her own feet. She must have told him, how else would he know?

Amy wrote back shortly: "Yes. Or I would be like a duck."

Sheldon quickly sent back: "I am not going to compare your hair to oil on a duck's back, even though it is shiny."

Amy stared at her phone confused as always, "Okay… that would not be nice."

"Exactly."

She was also curious about his day and what he had been doing. "What did you do this evening?"

"Spoilers, Dr. Fowler. I missed you today, but I have something I want to show you tomorrow night. Would you mind if we have dinner at my apartment after the zoo?"

Amy smiled, "Of course, but I was going to cook, may I use your kitchen?"

"I would love that Amy, it's all yours as am I. Leonard will drop me off at your house tomorrow at 10 AM. See you then."

Amy resumed wriggling her toes in the water, and texted back, "See you then." She forgot what she was worried about and sat back with a smile.

The next morning, Amy wasn't as nervous as the last date, but she still had a few butterflies fluttering around her stomach. Sheldon was punctual and she was pleased to see that he was dressed casually. She had had an hour long debate on whether or not to wear her new jeans but figured she would wait for the third date. She hoped that this day would go well. It would be first time she had seen Sheldon in a large crowd and she was worried for him.

Not surprising for a Saturday in the summer, the zoo was crowded. However Amy seemed to have an inherent skill, knowing exactly which paths to take Sheldon so that they could avoid many of the large groups of unruly school children and the families with strollers who insisted on blocking the way. Avoiding the children seemed to be Amy's specialty.

At one point, a mother in a stroller accidently hit the back of Amy's legs. She turned around and looked down to see a baby cooing at her. She gave a melancholy smile, looked away and moved on to the next enclosure. The mother apologized to Sheldon, who spent a minute fussing over the child, "That baby was sweet, huh. They're so cute at that age. I love them little fingers."

He looked around but Amy was gone. He found her looking at the map about 20 feet away, "There you are."

Amy took a deep breath, and ignored Sheldon, "I think the monkeys are over here." Amy walked so quickly that Sheldon had a hard time keeping up with her.

They spent most of the day in front of the primate cages, discussing mating habits, orangutan aggression, and at one point Sheldon asked how her addiction study with her monkey named Ricky, had gone. This only confused Amy, since she had never had a monkey named Ricky at the lab, nor had she worked on an addiction study.

Sheldon saw Amy's confused expression and realizing his mistake, stated that what he had meant to say was that it would be a good study to undertake, and he quickly changed the subject to the folly of the Piltdown Hoax. Then before Sheldon knew it, it was almost four o'clock.

As they made their way to the exit, Sheldon reached down and took her hand. She looked up with a smile, and said sweetly, "This has been a marvelous date, Sheldon. I have never had one better! Well…" Amy had to clarify, "Except for last week, that was hard to top."

"That's my stellar dancing skills, little lady."

Amy blinked a few times, "Oh I meant Stuart."

Seeing his face drop, she nudged him saying, "I'm teasing. Of course it was you! But this date was a lot of fun!"

"Amy… Are you sure this is good enough. I mean, there is supposed to be romance, and that kinda stuff…" He swallowed knowing he was out of his depth, "I mean… this is… well frankly it felt like every other time we get together, when we just talk and have fun. This felt so… normal…" Amy could feel his palms get sweaty.

"Oh Sheldon, being on a date is just about spending time with that person and focusing your attention on them. And besides, romance comes in lots of forms." Amy smiled at him, and looked down at her hand.

During the car ride home, Amy had been trying to elicit information about what Sheldon had been doing the previous afternoon, but to no avail. So eventually she decided on a frontal attack. Just as they exited the elevator and Sheldon was about to open the door she asked.

"So are you going to tell me what your surprise is, Sheldon?"

Sheldon had two reasons for wanting to have dinner at his house. One, he wanted to show her his surprise, and two he wanted to kiss her good night. He thought he would feel more comfortable in his own home rather than outside some restaurant or in a parking lot like a rookie teenager. He had been prepping himself up for a longer kiss all day.

"You'll see. It's something you told me to do a while ago." Sheldon smiled and opened the door with a flourish. There, in the exact spot that the other Sheldons had placed it was a leather couch with a glass coffee table.

Amy let out chuckle, "You finally got a couch! I love it!" She walked over to the leather furniture and looked back at Sheldon for permission. He nodded and smiled as she took the middle seat, next to his spot, just as if she had known.

He had finally understood what all those Sheldons had been fighting over that night. The couch had only been delivered yesterday and it had taken much wrangling with Leonard to help him place it properly. He had moved his favored old arm chair to the side, the second armchair was placed next to his computer desk and Leonard and Sheldon had placed the couch where the two armchairs had been. His favored chair had been a place of solace for many years, however, the couch felt even more fitting. It was a testament to his new social lifestyle.

Even Leonard had agreed that it was about time he had got a couch so they would all be able to have decent seats for games night. However Sheldon paled at Leonard's suggestion of a dining table, telling him it was ridiculous and he never wanted it to be mentioned again. He remembered all too clearly number Four's story of hacking at the table with a sword.

Sheldon put the bag of groceries that Amy had brought, on the kitchen island and sat next to her on the couch, "I…um.. wanted to surprise you. I know we had talked about buying it together, but I did that Star Wars weekend…" Sheldon started chewing his lip.

"Oh Sheldon, this is wonderful! You got your weekend with your new friends, and a couch! I am thrilled and frankly, it is exactly what I would have suggested, amazing…it's like it belongs here…" Amy ran her hands over the soft leather, then briskly stood up and headed straight to the kitchen. "Now, it won't take long for dinner, but I have to warn you, it will be vegetarian."

Amy had brought spaghetti to fix for dinner. She had figured that the dry goods would not spoil during the time they were going around the zoo but now she had her doubts that the dinner would be good enough to impress. Amy was a fairly decent cook, and she had wanted her dinner to be perfect; just plain spaghetti seemed so… normal.

"Oh… I didn't know you were a veg… Hey, wait a second! You had a hamburger the other day!" Sheldon narrowed his eyes at her and sat at the island. He had also purchased two bar stools along with his new couch.

"I'm not, but this dinner is because I didn't want the meat to spoil. Unless… Do you have hamburger meat… or chicken?" Amy started to poke around his refrigerator.

Sheldon leaped off the stool, "No, but I have hotdogs! You could cut them up and put them in there! My momma used to do that, I love it!" Sheldon was almost jumping with joy over the idea.

Amy couldn't help but giggle at how giddy Sheldon was over a simple meal with hotdogs. "Okay! Well not very gourmet, but if you love it, then that's what we are going to do!"

Amy started the water, and the sauce eyeing Sheldon the whole time as he watched her. She was nervous having an audience, but Sheldon kept silent as she worked. At one point, he went to the kitchen to get plates and utensils for the dinner. Sheldon did try to navigate around Amy, but the space was so narrow, that he brushed up against her. She looked up at him, with a timid longing stare and Sheldon smiled, reaching behind her to grab the plates, pressing against her more. Amy felt his body against her and could smell his aroma of baby powder mixed with his own masculine scent. One whiff of his pheromones was setting her ablaze. She closed her eyes to breathe it in almost dropping her ladle dripping with sauce. Amy stumbled back and turned toward to the stove, praying for him to get out of there before she forgot herself and the meal and took him right there on the counter. Thankfully for Amy, and the dinner, Sheldon returned to sit on one of bar stools and watched her again.

"Ya know, I would love to have some of that famous cake you make. Maybe next time."

"I do make a mean cake." Amy stirred her sauce, "How did you know I could bake? It's not something I advertise."

Sheldon looked down toward the dishes and straightened out the plates that were just fine a moment ago, "Oh, I just assumed, since that sauce smells so good." Sheldon fiddled with the forks.

"Baking is different…"

Sheldon cut her off with a snap of his fingers thinking of something quickly, "I know… because of your turnovers. That's why!" Sheldon was pleased he had come up with an excuse for his knowledge of the stellar Star Wars cake the Sheldons had raved over. "Boy, I'm starving!"

"Well, here you are!" Amy brought the dinner over with a big grin of satisfaction.

Sheldon looked down at the meal he hadn't seen for 24 years and took in the aroma of home. He sucked in a jagged breath and then said softly, "It's perfect."

Once dinner was served, the couple sat on the new bar stools and ate, chatting about the chemistry of baking and round cakes. Sheldon forgot about the pressure of a date, and had a wonderful time just conversing with Amy. Every subject was like an expanding tree, each person adding a branch of knowledge. Before long, dinner was done, and they were on the new couch enjoying a cup of tea.

"Amy, I must say, you are a great cook. It's been an age since I had that meal."

Amy blushed and held her hands tightly on her lap, "Well, it almost didn't happen because you derailed me from my task."

"How did I do that?"

Amy looked at her hands, and murmured, "Just your… scent. It's very .. um… distracting." Amy quickly grabbed her tea and took a large gulp. He had been distracting her since he had arrived at her apartment that morning, with his words, haunting eyes and subtle touches. She placed her cup on the new table and finally looked at Sheldon to gauge his reaction to her confession. He was grinning.

"Think of it as pay back." Sheldon let out a laugh, "Little lady, you have been distracting me all day."

"Really?"

"Yes... Cause all I've been thinking of is how much I want to kiss you, again." Sheldon looked at her lips as rough breaths escaped him.

Amy gave a quick smile and then moved toward Sheldon, "I have as well." He scooted closer and moved his mouth towards hers, but with only an inch between them, Sheldon stopped, took in three quick breaths and then pressed his lips against Amy's. He reached up to hold her face, and wrapped his other hand around her thigh.

Their first kiss had been amazing for Sheldon. He had never felt so chaotic yet calm at the same time. This kiss was just as invigorating. Everything he sensed at that moment was amplified: Her fruity scent, the touch of her hands on his neck, and the feel of her face under his fingers. He pulled back for moment to catch his breath and for another glimpse at the woman who could shatter him with a word, build him up with a thought. The power she had over him was beyond his command, but he gave it to her willing.

Every nerve in Sheldon's body was electrified. He had to feel her again. He grabbed Amy and pulled her across his lap, draping her over his legs. Amy gasped at the sudden action and held up her hands, "Sheldon what…" He didn't give her a chance to answer. With one hand, he held her face again and the other he placed around her waist and lifted her off his lap to meet his mouth. Amy's mouth was open from the shock, but so was Sheldon's. He darted his tongue over her lips and tasted the hints of tea she had just been drinking. Amy was so stunned by the action that she tried to pull away so that she could gather her thoughts and emotions.

"Shel…" He didn't let her speak, instead he kissed her again, pulling her even closer to him. His kisses were intense and filled with emotion from years of suppressed wants and hope. Amy had to tilt her head back roughly to gasp for air. As she brought back her head to face him, Sheldon stopped long enough to finally see her eyes. To him they seemed filled with fear because he knew he had lost control but in fact the look she had was filled with confusion on the emotions he stirred within her and also why he had stopped so suddenly. He released her immediately and scrambled away from her to the opposite side of the couch.

"I'm sorry Amy. I should NEVER have kissed you in such a manner." Sheldon ran his hands over his hair and looked back at her. He could kick himself. Their first kiss had been perfect, but now all that she will remember will be Sheldon manhandling her. He looked over to see her reaction to his bold actions. She was breathless and flushed. Her eyes were dilated, and wide. Amy could feel that her heart rate was elevated and she drew in a few breaths before she spoke. By the time she had caught her breath Sheldon was looking away from her.

"Sheldon, it just stunned me, that's all." Amy sat a little closer to Sheldon and reached for him, but he pulled away. "I've never been kissed like that before and I didn't know how to handle it. I hope you are not upset that I pulled away. I was just overwhelmed..." He didn't look at her for a few moments, but finally he brought his eyes to meet hers.

"Amy, I am overwhelmed too. I just, have so many feelings for you that I have difficulty processing them all. I never expected to fall in love…"

Amy gasped, "Love? You love me?"

Sheldon didn't think it was that confusing a statement. He tilted his head, and said flatly, "Of course."

"Sheldon… we have only known know each other for a short while. You couldn't possible love me!" Amy looked pained, as if she was trying to process faulty input. She knew she had very strong feelings for Sheldon, but she couldn't understand how he could love her in such a short time. It felt like a lie of only the worse kind, but one that she wanted to believe more than anything.

Sheldon sucked his lips and swallowed. He remembered number Two's words of wisdom," If you had an Amy…You'd screw it up too, don't kid yourself." Once again he needed to try to repair the damage he had done to his relationship with Amy.

He sat up and smiled, "You're right Amy. Forgive me. I was just overcome as well. Too many movies on kissing, I guess, and I thought that was the way you do it. I should blame BroTastic69." Sheldon cleared his throat, "May I offer you a beverage, or should we call it a night?" He grabbed their two tea mugs and headed to the kitchen.

Amy called after him, "Sheldon… I didn't mean…" Amy didn't know what she wanted to say. The kiss was surprise enough, but the declaration on top, was too much for her. She hoped she hadn't upset him by her actions or words, but his mannerisms seemed to tell a different tale.

Sheldon gave her a sweet smile, "Please don't worry and accept my apologies. I misspoke, I got one wheel down and the axle is dragging, so to speak. I've been working harder than ever these past couple of weeks plus the strain of being around new people, well I guess the stress has affected my cerebral cortex. I know you brain jockeys understand..." He gave her a practiced smile.

Amy stood up and took one step toward him, "You didn't mean it? That you lo…"

He cut her off said calmly, "I misspoke."

Amy stopped and swallowed, "I see. Please tell me the truth, are you upset about how I reacted to the kiss?"

"No. I am not upset. It's fine." Sheldon blinked twice and smiled.

Amy smiled back automatically, but it was guarded. Something about his smile seemed off: it seemed forced, as if he had rehearsed it. It took over his face too easily. However Amy didn't want to push him.

"Yes, you must be tired. I will go, and let you get some rest. Can I see you tomorrow? Maybe we can arrange to have dinner with group? Would you like that?" Amy stepped closer to Sheldon and tried to touch his arm, but he walked toward the sink instead.

"Sure Amy. That's fine. I'll see you then okay?" Sheldon didn't turn around. Amy's eyes remained on Sheldon and his robotic movements as she walked toward the door grappling with her purse. She timidly held the door handle, feeling as if she was leaving something important behind. She didn't like the way the evening had ended, but she didn't know how to fix it.

Amy turned around again and pleaded with him, "Sheldon. Are you okay? Please be honest with me."

"I'm fine." Sheldon turned around from the kitchen, "I'll see you tomorrow." He gave her another smile and a small wave.

Amy let out a relieved sigh, "Okay, good night!"

Sheldon's smiled dropped as soon as the door closed. The one thing he had learned how to do well with his father was lie. It had been a survival mechanism. Turning around he looked into the sink at the two cups they had been drinking from. He took the blue cup he had used and smashed it into the sink, shattering it. He looked at the shards of the cup, each one sharp enough to cut him, like her words had done moments before. She didn't want him to love her. She knew he wasn't good enough for her and how could he possible think that she could love him anyway? He had ruined it all, before it had even started.

His father voice came in his ear, "Told ya…"

"Whatever it takes…" Sheldon repeated to himself with his eyes closed. "Whatever it takes."

"You ain't got what it takes, boy."

Sheldon rushed to the back of the apartment and frantically grabbed for the pull bar. He pulled his weight up, but he felt heavier than ever before.

"20…21..22..23..24…" Each time he felt denser. It was as if gravity had changed. His sweaty hands finally gave out and slumped down to the floor. He bent his knees up, and put his head between them, resting on his tired forearms. He sat on the floor as the minutes clicked by and he thought over all the ways he had screwed up in the short time he'd known her. Only the sound of his phone stirred him. It was a text from Amy. He braced himself thinking that she was cancelling their date now that she had time to think on the ride home. He was surprised to read:

"I am home Sheldon. I wanted to say, I had a wonderful time. I really did. I was thinking instead of going out with the group tomorrow, perhaps we should have a quiet evening. Maybe we can watch Star Trek and you can tell me about all about Darth Vader."

Sheldon read his text and laughed through his fading pain. He sniffled and said out loud, "Oh, boy Amy…You know just what to say…"

Sheldon texted back, "I would like that Amy. If you come early, I can explain in great detail why Darth Vader is from Star Wars, not Star Trek."

"Well… Star something. I am glad you agree. And I am glad you are not upset about our kiss. I am not."

"Not at all, Amy. But, thank you for being understanding, as always."

Amy texted back, "You're easy to understand, if I have the right data, Sheldon. See you tomorrow."

Amy placed her phone on the counter and poured a cup of tea. He said he wasn't upset, and she should believe him, but she couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. He had said he loved her as well, but then had taken it back. By the end of the evening, as she slipped into a hot bath, Amy didn't know what to believe.

A/N: Oh my those Baser Urges, huh? Dear me... One wonders how long Sheldon can keep this up! I think we should all blame BroTastic69.

Hope you are still enjoying this story! It can't all be love and rainbows. Well... A little anyway... Thanks for reviewing, you guys!