ASHLEY'S P.O.V
"Hey..."
She definitely wasn't expecting me.
"Ashley what are you doing here?"
If I was her I'd be surprised as well.
I don't visit very often, I actually don't visit at all.
"I thought I'd stop by and see how you are?"
She's smiling.
"I'm okay, I have my good days and my bad days, but I'm alright..."
"Can I come in?"
"Ashley this is your house as well, you don't need to be invited in"
"I know, but you're blocking the door and I didn't think shoving you out of the way was the best way to get inside"
When she steps to the side, I walk in.
"So, how's Spencer?"
We have a very strange relationship, we don't talk about feelings.
We're just two people that lived in the same house for a really long time.
"Ashley am I not allowed to ask about your girlfriend?"
"No you are, I'm just not sure I'll answer you"
I have my back to her, but I can hear her laughing.
"How's Spencer?"
When I get to the fridge, I lean down and grab a drink.
"She's still pretty banged up, but she's back on her feet and moving around"
She's smiling.
"Mother that's a weird thing to smile at"
"I'm smiling because I wasn't expecting an answer"
These last couple of days have really sucked.
We've never been apart.
When I was in New York she was always there and then when got together in LA, we were inseparable.
But now she's on the other side of the country living her life and I'm here, living mine.
"It's good she's back on her feet..."
"Yer"
"Ashley you don't sound very happy about it?"
"Mum I've never cared about someone as much as I care about Spencer and when I heard she'd been in an accident, I felt sick"
When Kyla walked into the studio that day, my stomach dropped.
"I love her and I'm really glad she's getting better..."
"But?"
"She went back to New York a couple of days ago"
"Ohhh"
"She lives there and her business is there"
"That sucks Ashley, I'm sorry"
"It's fine"
It's not really, it sucks.
I just want to be with her.
"So does this mean you'll be jetting off to New York soon?"
"It's complicated"
When I say that she raises her eyebrows.
"How?"
I'm not really sure why I'm telling her all of this.
"I have a record deal and I told my producers I wanted to finish the album in LA..."
"Tell them you've changed you mind"
That's not the real reason.
"You're sick..."
"Ashley I'm a bitch, don't stay here for me"
When she says that I laugh.
"You're right, you are a bitch, but you're the only mother I have"
She's grinning.
"So I'll continue to tolerate you"
"Sweetie that's the sweetest thing you've ever said to me"
She's laughing.
"If I die can you write my eulogy?"
"Mum, that's really not funny"
"Sorry..."
"You're not allowed to die"
She's smiling.
"Okay"
"Stop smiling mother"
"No"
"You're so annoying"
"And you're really sweet"
I'm not sweet.
"Ashley I've been the shittiest mother to you and I know you're not going to buy it, but I really am sorry"
Okay.
"I'm terrified Ashley and I know it shouldn't take something like cancer to make me realise this, but I want a better relationship with you Ashley"
I don't know what to say.
"Mum you've missed every major event in my life, you weren't there when I graduated, you've missed countless birthdays and when dad died, you treated me like I was an ATM"
Her face is blank.
"So you're right you are a really shitty mother, but unfortunately for me, you're the only one I have, so no dying and no stringing me along..."
"I'm not stringing you along Ashley"
"Good 'cause if you are, this terrible relationship that you're trying to salvage, will be gone for good"
Well this has been a fun visit.
"Look mum I was really upset when I found out you were sick, because even though you sucked at being motherly, there's always been little moments when I could tell you cared"
"I've always cared Ashley"
When she walks out of the room, I don't know if I'm meant to follow her, but I do it anyway.
"I was at your graduation Ashley"
No she wasn't.
"You left the graduation invitiation on the kitchen bench, but you never actually gave it to me or asked me if I wanted to go"
Okay.
"But I was there, I sat at the back and when you got your award, I left"
When she hands me a photo album, I'm speechless.
"Ashley you stopped needing me a long time ago and I somehow went from being your mother to your roommate"
When I open the book, there's a lot of photos.
"But Ashley I've had a lot of time to think these last couple of months and my biggest regret in life is you"
That's sweet.
"I've missed a lot of your life Ashley and I really don't want to miss anymore"
When I get to the photos of me graduating I look over at her.
"Why didn't you tell me you were there?"
"I wasn't sure you wanted me there..."
"WHY WOULDN'T I WANT YOU THERE?"
She's so frustrating.
"You're so frustrating..."
She's laughing again.
"You're a horrible mother"
"Ashley you're not exactly the sweetest daughter"
Now I'm laughing as well.
"Okay well I have to go to the studio"
When I pass her back the photo album she smiles.
"Fly to New York Ashley, visit your girlfriend, live your life"