Disclaimer: I own nothing... except my character. Masashi Kishimoto is the man.

Shout out to LockFlower for reviewing. Thanks much, you're a babe.

A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.

-Steve Martin

Chapter 1:Rude Awakening

I was thrust through something snug and warm and into chilly air. I felt slippery and wet... what is this? I try opening my eyes and find that I can't, I can feel myself start to convulse; I'm panicking. Where am I? Why can't I open my eyes? Am I blind? Suddenly strong, firm hands pick me up and I can feel them swaddle me up in cloth. Finally I have the strength to crack my eyes open, my vision is blurred and all around me I see dark shadows. Big, human sized shadows. These shadows take me away from the warmth, and I find myself letting loose a guttural cry. I never cry, but I can't seem to stop myself and I continue on. These shadows aren't gentle, they twist me and turn me over until all I see are blurs.

"All vitals are good." I hear a shadow mumble, "Her airway is cleared, no obstructions." I hear another say. Vitals? Airway? What are they talking about? The shadows wrap me up again and I can feel a hat being pulled over my head.

"Come on honey, push!" I hear another gruff voice say frantically, What the heck? Is there a live birth happening in front of me? "aaaaAAAAAAHH!" I hear a feminine voice yelp in pain and grunt heavily after, Definitely a birth... can't think of anything else.

The sound of a baby's wails fill the room, and I can feel the tension from the shadows release. "Congratulations Mrs. Nara," I hear the shadow holding me say jovially, Nara? What the fuck? "You've successfully bore twin babies, one boy and one girl." Twins? Babies? I feel my heart skip a beat before continuing... "What names do you want on the birth certificates?" Holy shit! Shit, shit, shit, fucking shitty McShit house!

"Shikaku baby, what shall we name our darling twins?" I hear a soft tired voice speak, Please don't. Don't say what I think you're going to say. "Shikamaru and Shikayana Nara." A gruff, gravelly voice christens us. I feel another little body of warmth laid down beside me, glancing over I see that it's not one of those big shadows- but a small one. The last thing I find myself thinking before succumbing to the inevitable sleep I felt coming on, I'm in Naruto. I was born a Nara and I'm the twin of a genius. Fanfuckingtastic.

*.*.*.*.*

1 month

Inevitably, I eventually woke up from my slumber. I wasn't thrilled to say the least. Being bottle fed by your ninja father is... interesting to say the least. I don't know, maybe Daddy Nara thought shoving a kunai into someone's brain is the same as sticking a bottle into a newborn's mouth. It's not, I promise.

My twin, twin... It's so weird thinking that. Anyway, of the two of us, of course Shikamaru is the most laid back. I get bored in this tiny infant body, I'm incapable of doing anything that I could in my previous life. It's frustrating, my cherub hands can't pick anything up yet and my thumbs don't listen to me. It's like I'm a baby vegetable, one that's not paralyzed mind you- I can't wait to get older.

*.*.*.*.*

3 months

Gibberish. That's all Japanese ever sounds like to me, why's the shit so damn complicated? Mother speaks to Shikamaru and I constantly, I heard her reprimanding Father one day; apparently newborns pick up words if you keep talking to them. So she talks to us whenever she can, the one word she really tries to engrave in our brains though is 'Mama'. I'm convinced her and Dad have a bet going on... whenever Father is home he tries bribing Shika and I to say 'Daddy'. Of course, Shikamaru won't put forth the effort. He's an incredibly smart baby, there's just never any time for our parents to find out. He sleeps ALL day. Literally. Not surprising considering he's the lazy genius of our generation.

I thought when I was brought into this world that I wouldn't be able to bond with the people that birthed me. But I did, and I'm growing to love them more and more each day. I thought that if I grew to love my new parents- I would forget the ones I left behind in my previous life. I haven't. And while I do indeed still love them, it's hard not to form a loving bond with the people you watch care for you at birth.

*.*.*.*.*

6 months

The Nara forest is my favorite place to be, it's just in our backyard and I always try to make an escape into it's leafy depths. I'm always caught before I'm more than a meter away, having ninja parents makes it difficult to get away with anything.

On this particular day I was feeling lazy, rolling around in the grass around my brother was much more preferable this day. Mother was hanging up laundry to dry on the clothing line, while Shika slept and I spaced out. Eventually mother picked up her one-sided conversation with us, today she was talking about how the grass is green. Through her incessant rambling I'm able to understand simple words and phrases in Japanese now, not that she knows that. I watch her whisk her way through the laundry, with the grace of a former ninja she finishes quickly.

"Skikamaru, Shikayana, can you say Mama?" She sits on the grass between us, she gets a twitch out of Shikamaru before he rolls over. Lazy kid... Mother turns her coffee eyes onto my form, "Shikayana? Mama? Can you say Mama for me baby girl?" I rip up piles of grass with my tiny fists and watch them flutter away in the wind. I hear a deep sigh come out of my mother and I feel like I disappointed her, I know she's only excited for us to speak. I watch her as she gets a new basket of laundry and continues to clip them to the clothes line, she has this dejected expression on her face. I didn't know it was that important to Mom that we speak, at least not yet. I guess it made sense though, Shikamaru and I hadn't so much as made a peep since our birth. Besides the usual 'I'm hungry' wail we're pretty laid back babies. I'm unusually adventurous and Shikamaru is unusually lazy... that's just the way it's been. Looking upon my mother I acquiesce, fine- if it makes her happy.

"Ma- " she doesn't hear my first attempt and I'm glad, that sucked... Lets try this again. Clearing my throat I feel the sound fill my throat, "Mama!" I exclaim with my toddler vocals and I wait... She's frozen, and the entire laundry basket is askew on the grass. I can see her pivot on one foot and she's staring at me, I try again, "Mama," I say in a softer tone. And I almost regret saying it at all because she takes one look at me and begins crying. Didn't I do what she wanted me to? What's with the waterworks man? Looking to my right I find Shikamaru sitting at attention for the first time... well ever really. "Mama," I chirp again. Glancing over at Shika I see a twinkle in his eye, Man, he really is intelligent. And then he did the most un-lazy thing I think I've ever seen from him, he started chirping right along with me, "Mama!" I'm almost positive Shikamaru and I had never gotten such a tight hug from Mother that day.

Shikaku's POV

I'm confused. Yoshino? Upon my return home, I found my wife dancing around with the twins in her arms to some unknown tune, and my babies are giggling. As far as Shikaku knew his babies didn't giggle. What the hell happened?

P.S. Beta me babes. I need one.

Review for me please, I feel some strong constructive criticism coming on :/

Thanks for reading Chapter 1: Rude Awakening! D:

YESSS! I have made it through 2 chapters, this is something for the record books guys. Somebody call Guiness World Records... I feel some cookies are in order.

Question of the day?

If you could pick an animal, which one would you be?

Comment in the reviews (: I'll post my answer next chapter yo'