Merlin said goodnight to Prince Garrick as they parted and he headed into his chambers. He walked over to the fireplace and quietly summoned a flame in the kindling. It caught and spread until Merlin was able to warm his hands over it. His day played at a moderate pace through his mind.
Garrick had taken him to a town in Sythian where a circus of sorts was visiting. It involved impressive illusions and feats by warlocks, witches, and even mortals. It was the prince's way of making up for the lack of an actual tournament. Merlin had been treated like a noble, even after explaining to the people who greeted him that he was a commoner. Being the prince's friend seemed to place him higher in status, even if it wasn't official. Merlin began to compare life in Sythian with his life in Camelot. He should have been able to quickly decide Sythian the better place for him but the two lives still came to a draw. Merlin resumed thinking this over as he changed for sleep.
In Sythian, he had friends like Prince Garrick, Princess Aster, a young maid named Annalisa, a few of the knights, and even Eldon seemed sociable to the warlock, despite their blank history of complete verbal exchanges. It wasn't the lack of friends that Merlin felt here and certainly not the lack of freedom. It was just…even if he had friends here, he had friends in Camelot as well. That and his destiny were really the only things drawing him back to the place. Otherwise, he would never leave Sythian.
Though he'd been kept entertained by Garrick in the first few days of his stay, he'd begun to miss Gaius and Guinevere…even Arthur. Even if the prince was outwardly patronizing, Merlin understood that most of his attitude came from being royalty and his duty to uphold a regal air, which sometimes required a negative way of reminding those below you of their place. Still, Prince Garrick seemed capable of treating servants well and he did. Arthur simply chose to take the easy way out and be a prat about it.
Of course, even if he was treated well in Sythian, something felt out of place. It was almost a bit disappointing to not open Arthur's curtains every morning and have him complain. Maybe if someone would insult him and occasionally sneer, he would feel more at home. Merlin had even considered the idea that perhaps his and Arthur's seemingly insulting exchanges were only their way of communicating as friends, much like his sarcastic back and forth had been with his old friend, Will. Arthur just had a complicated way of showing he cared about people, especially when it came to someone who shouldn't be favored.
If that was the case, Merlin felt almost lucky. Arthur didn't insult anyone more than him. The thought caused Merlin to huff a little laugh with an amused grin. It faded, though, as he realized he missed Arthur now. He slid into the grand bed with a downcast feeling in his chest as he wondered what Arthur could be thinking of right now, if he was asleep already, if he'd even thought of the servant once since he left.
Many levels down, Arthur was having similar thoughts as he lied back on an uncomfortable pallet in a room shared with other kitchen workers who didn't have their own houses or families. He wondered if in the excitement of seeing this bizarre kingdom, Merlin had forgotten the one he'd arrived from. Surely he hadn't and Arthur was just being paranoid but the thought still bothered him, so much that he could not sleep.
Why was he worrying so much? Merlin should be able to choose what kingdom he stood by. He was a loyal servant who, even though he cowered in battles, rode in with Arthur at the lead, willingly laying down his life to help in any way he could. If he was willing to do that for Camelot, he wouldn't leave it so easily. What did Merlin even have to tie him to this place?
…he is practically treated like royalty, Arthur thought.
He also had Prince Garrick here. If the servant decided that Garrick was someone he could spend the rest of his life with, why would Merlin choose to stay in Camelot where Arthur abused him both verbally and physically? Why would he return to the place where he was an insignificant commoner? Why leave a place where you could forever be the king's companion?
But he could do the same in Camelot.
The thought surprised even Arthur and he quickly sat up from the floor, unintentionally kicking the man beside him who groaned and rolled further into his pallet. Arthur's heart was racing in a panic and he tried to find meaning in his own thoughts.
Sure, Arthur could treat Merlin better and when he was king, he could change the laws to specifically benefit Merlin, raising his status to a nobleman, but what could he mean by thinking Merlin could be his companion? At least not in the same way Prince Garrick was intent on. That sort of romance would never be accepted by the people of Camelot, especially his father. Arthur's marriage, like for most royals, was reserved for the joining of kingdoms and making peace. Taking a mere servant, a man at that, as a lover would be unforgiveable.
Even as the prince tried to push the thoughts away, each image of Merlin that came to mind and the thoughts with it left flutters in his stomach until the bottom of it felt like it had dropped out. Arthur closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, and tried to calm himself down with a fist pressed hard over his left breast but he felt a sickness like he'd never felt before. It caused his heart to race and ache and his head to feel dizzy.
Arthur silently wished for it to stop but while trying to not think of anything, the sickness only settled to a slow spin swaying in his chest. Arthur then opened his eyes to the dimness of the room in a waning moon's subtle light. He stared out, hand slipping from his chest to his lap with the other as the slightly pleasant and slightly painful swaying continued. Surely it couldn't be true. Arthur could do much better than this. He could marry a beautiful princess and ascend the throne with an all approving and proud father. This sort of thing, just this little sickness, it could mean losing all of that…but for a moment, Arthur didn't even care. He only realized why he'd been so determined to bring back his manservant.
"…he's put a spell on me as well." Arthur murmured into the darkness of another Sythian night.