Prince Garrick sat on his bed, tapping his fingers worriedly on the covers. He knew his father must have been saying something to Merlin about the cradle. He didn't want him to know just yet. Without Garrick's own input, Merlin would think he was after his magic…which he sort of was but it was okay now.
How am I supposed to win him over like this? He's going to be afraid of me. I'm cursed and he's my only cure.
There was a knock at his door and Garrick stood abruptly, expecting Merlin to come in. Instead, Eldon opened the door and set the prince's dinner tray down on the table. Garrick looked at his servant who offered a somewhat apologetic expression, telling him that they wouldn't be eating dinner together tonight. Garrick didn't nod in understanding like usual. Eldon was a bit confused but nodded to excuse himself.
"Eldon," Prince Garrick said which caused the servant to stop.
Eldon looked at his master questioningly. The image of him kissing Aster swimmed through Garrick's mind as well as memories of when the two had seemed unusually comfortable with each other. The prince felt conflicted about the situation. On one hand, Eldon had taken it upon himself to romance Garrick's sister while not informing anyone else about it. He even lived in the castle.
On the other hand, the two of them had seemed so in love. He knew that aside from this, Eldon was a very trustworthy young man, one that would do anything to protect those around him. He was honorable and even if he was mute, he showed a certain gentleness that Aster deserved. Prince Garrick could think of no better partner for his younger sister. They had probably only kept it secret because they were worried they would be separated.
"When Merlin leaves the throne room, can you tell him to come here?" the prince asked instead.
Eldon did that longer nod which sort of resembled a bow and was his most respectful way of showing confirmation. He turned after that and left the room. Garrick glanced at the table but ultimately walked over and covered the top. He wasn't hungry. He was too anxious to eat. Perhaps he woukdn't be eating for a while. There was no telling how Merlin would react to learning more about his new friend.
Eldon was on his way to the throne room when he saw Merlin walking back on his own through the dimming halls. The warlock glanced up when they got closer to each other. Eldon remembered that Merlin wasn't very familiar with his communication methods but at least he understood the servant meant to say something.
"Garrick?" Merlin asked, to which Eldon nodded. "He wants to see me?"
Eldon nodded, maybe a little surprised. It was probably a lucky guess but still interesting. Maybe he was like Aster in some manner. They seemed to get along so maybe they saw things in a similar way.
"Thank you, Eldon." Merlin nodded, looking rather stressed as he continued on down the hall toward Garrick's room.
"Maybe he has magic."
Merlin stopped in his tracks to look around him and back but the only one nearby was Eldon as he walked away. He couldn't even talk. Whose voice had he just heard? He shook it off for the moment while his mind was busy with something else.
Garrick should have told me about this. He knows I have powerful magic and surely he didn't think he could hide his past forever. How did he think I would feel, hearing something like this when he hasn't admitted it himself?
…but maybe he was being too much. Garrick was the prince here and even if they were in Camelot, Merlin was just a servant. As much as Garrick liked to talk about equality, it didn't change who Merlin was or what he felt. The only thing it changed was whether or not he spoke his mind and he'd never had a problem doing so even when it wasn't permitted. Maybe the only reason Merlin hadn't said anything imposing to the prince was because he'd been appreciating his kindness. That or Garrick honestly hadn't done anything to offend him. It seemed likely.
Merlin became very hesitant when he reached the prince's door. He noticed that there were no guards around which suddenly seemed odd despite the fact that it had always been this way. It never bothered Merlin before but with what he knew now…Merlin shook his head. Garrick wouldn't do anything to upset him. The idea that the lion-like and honorable prince could ever raise a hand to Merlin causeda disbelieving smile to bloom on his lips. It was slightly dipped in caution, however, as he finally knocked on the chamber door.
He didn't even have time to think of what to say before Prince Garrick pulled the door open. For a moment, the two young men just stared, neither entirely sure what their intent was. Then, like someone had reminded them, they each broke out of the tense stare with awkward fidgeting and glances down the hall.
Garrick held the door open for Merlin without a word and the warlock stepped in willingly. Garrick shut the door behind them and as soon as a soft silence settled, Merlin turned to face Garrick who moved forward to speak.
"Merlin, I need to tell you something." He said.
"I'm pretty sure what you want to tell me about is what your father just did." Merlin replied quietly and glanced slightly downward from Garrick's eyes so he wouldn't get out of line.
"…I'm sorry, Merlin." Garrick apologized.
"You don't owe me an apology." Merlin said simply. "I'm used to far worse. It's actually a good feeling, being left out of things. Arthur always talks to me when he's feeling bothered but it's only ever when Camelot is at stake. It's a bad sign if he tells me the truth."
"I'm not like Arthur." Garrick said angrily and to Merlin's surprise.
He immediately regreted his tone but he'd been hearing about Arthur so much. Merlin always talked about Arthur, about things he did or said, how he'd treat Merlin in Garrick's situation and it was just unnerving! Not only did Prince Arthur treat Merlin like a measly rodent but Merlin actually worried about him! He talked about him all the time and constantly compared the princes. Garrick hated being compared to a man like Arthur, especially when, despite his seemingly superior personality traits, he always came up short next to the Pendragon. That was the way it appeared in Merlin's heart, anyway.
"I didn't tell you because I was worried you would leave." Garrick said in a weaker tone this time as Merlin met his eyes again. "I know your magic is strong and if the…"
If? If the voices were back? Could he lie to Merlin? The young warlock watched him, waiting for him to finish. When he didn't, Merlin took a short breath.
"I know you were thinking of me," Merlin said. "But sometimes intentions aren't good enough. I don't have any right to be angry at you and I'm not. I'm just a bit bothered that you're treating me like a child."
Garrick felt a personal hit, even if it wasn't intentional. It showed in his eyes and Merlin noticed the brief flash of hurt before the prince dropped their eye contact. It made him even more curious.
"I don't mean to seem condescending." Garrick responded. "I hadn't realiz-"
"You haven't been condescending." Merlin said. "You're kind and giving and charismatic and despite the fact that you didn't tell me about the curse, I still think you're trustworthy…as long as it's the last lie."
"…I can't make that promise." The prince replied with a wry smile.
Merlin was confused by the expression. He was trying to be serious here and he felt like he was being written off.
"I'm not talking about telling me the secrets to your kingdom." Merlin said stubbornly. "I only mean that if you really mean it when you say status doesn't matter, you should be able to tell me something like that, anything that could affect me or Camelot. I've trusted you blindly from the beginning because it seems difficult to say you're anything but good intentions. It's true, but even then, that doesn't mean I'm safe."
"I never meant to make you feel threatened." Garrick said quickly.
"Then what's with your smile?" Merlin asked. "You know something I don't but you're choosing now not to tell me. You expect me not to feel threatened?"
"…it's for your sake that I don't tell you." He answered.
Merlin watched the prince questioningly as he stared down, a mild blush touching the prince's soft cheekbones. There was some sensation of a chill in Merlin's body but it was warm. It felt like his heart had become anxious all on its own. He understood that it only took looking at Garrick to feel it but didn't really want to accept what he was thinking.
Those are just rumors started by the servants to entertain each other, he reminded himself, Garrick is friendly toward everyone.
But why was he blushing? Why did Merlin feel so suddenly nervous? There was a long silence and Garrick looked up to realize the look on Merlin's face. He almost looked terrified.
"…if you ask again, I'll answer honestly." Garrick finally said.
Merlin tried to recall what they'd even been talking about. His mind was fuzzy and he couldn't seem to remember what was said only a minute ago.
"Uh…I don't, I mean-"
Merlin shook his fumbling away before meeting Garrick's eyes again. His palms began to sweat lightly as he imagined how the prince might answer his next question.
"…without worrying about what might or might not happen, just…what have you been keeping from me?" he asked.
Merlin questioned if he even worded that right. Maybe it was a bit vague, but Garrick seemed to understand as he hesitantly took a step forward. Merlin didn't back away and let the prince come up to him, only two feet away now. A tingle ran up Merlin's spine when Garrick carefully took his hand. The warlock couldn't help swallowing in shock as he stared at Garrick. The prince himself felt vulnerable. Even if Merlin said not to worry, that didn't mean he would accept what he had to say. He might even feel repulsed and want to leave.
"Merlin," Prince Garrick said as he stared into the stormy blue eyes that seemed to shake slightly with too many emotions to decipher. "I'd hoped you would understand as we got closer and you would feel the same…but I know I can't ask something like that of you."
Merlin didn't speak and the only feeling in his body now was where Garrick's hands burned into his cool and damp palm.
"I don't say this as a prince or a knight or even a friend. I say this as I am now, simply a man." Garrick said. "…I'm in love with you, Merlin."
It took Merlin a moment to even register the words before reacting. He pulled his hand from Garrick's in shock, even if he'd expected it to be something like that. Just hearing it…Merlin had never been told something like that. Love? What did Merlin know about love? It wasn't even something someone like him had the liberty to think about often. Loving was a privilege and he'd done nothing for it. Why did Garrick love him?
Garrick managed not to falter as Merlin stepped away with his back turned. The confession had to sink in. Merlin didn't live in a romantic sort of kingdom. The idea of even being with another man must have confused him.
"I understand if you don't feel the same." Garrick said.
Merlin kept his back turned.
"I just hope you don't leave because of this." The prince told him. "…it's my first time feeling this way. People say it feels amazing but it really hurts to have the person you love feel disgusted or afraid of you. That's why I hadn't told you before."
Merlin himself felt weak and confused. He understood why Garrick had made it a point to say he wasn't confessing as a prince or knight. Merlin had every right to refuse him…but the fact alone that Garrick's feelings didn't upset him was puzzling. Then there was the fact that his chest felt lighter. He was almost dizzy, but to love a man would be strange, wouldn't it? Merlin didn't understand himself.
"…before you decide anything, you should probably sleep on it." Garrick said quietly. "I know you were lying when you said you'd gotten a good night's rest."
Merlin looked up and back at Garrick. The prince's eyes weren't implying anything but that Merlin should rest. He was so protective and caring. He even realized when Merlin lied but he didn't say anything before. He didn't want to embarrass him. The idea along with his lack of sleep made Merlin turn around to face Garrick again.
"Why do you love me?" he asked the prince.
Garrick was a little surprised but not by the question. Merlin was willing to talk to him?
"…when I first saw you, I thought you were an angel." Garrick admitted honestly and Merlin's pulse became bothered. "The first time we spoke, I could tell it wasn't in your nature to be a lackey. You were born for something more."
Merlin kept his eyes on Garrick but the prince momentarily broke the contact, wondering if he should tell Merlin the whole truth, how he'd seen him in his dreams and the real reason their kingdoms were at peace now.
…but if I tell him that he keeps the voices away, he'll think I'm forcing him to stay. I don't want him to feel chained down. That's not the kind of person I am. I want him to choose to stay with me…but those chances seem so slim now, Garrick thought.
"You bring light to the room and you make me feel like I'm stronger than I am. It's very difficult not to fall in love." Garrick said.
He looked up at Merlin again. The warlock's eyes were serious but he didn't look angry, necessarily. He didn't look disgusted either. He just looked indecisive. Was he actually considering accepting the prince?
"You're a prince." Merlin said.
"That doesn't have anything to-"
"You're supposed to ascend the throne eventually." Merlin interrupted as he stepped forward. "Aren't you worried about Sythian? You don't think it deserves a proper queen?"
"But the people already know about this." Garrick told him. "It's been known since before my mother died. The people trust me enough to put their ideals aside. What's wrong with a kingdom having two kings?"
Merlin felt exceptionally small after hearing those words. The idea that he could be a king…it was just so ridiculous. Arthur would laugh at him for even thinking about it.
"Is my status your only reason you're rejecting me?" Garrick asked him.
Merlin only had a few things in mind that he could say. None of them really led to much good. Hurt Garrick now and let him heal on his own or tell him how he felt and face it all with him? Even then, there was his duty in Camelot to consider.
"We've already talked about why I can't leave Camelot for long." Merlin said. "You understand how things are. Even if I said yes to you now, it's not possible."
"…if you want to say yes, I can go with you." Prince Garrick said as he walked up to Merlin again, almost taking his hand but deciding against it for now. "I'll stay in the tavern or sleep in the field if I have to. If you could be mine…"
He couldn't even finish and glanced away because he was worried he would get too excited and be let down. Merlin stared down at the prince's hand. How could he say no to something like this? The kindest man he'd ever met, someone who took care of him and made him smile was confessing their love to Merlin.
I think I love him too, Merlin thought in defeat.
He only contemplated it a second more before taking Garrick's hand. The prince looked over again and found Merlin pulling his hand into his. In one brief moment, Merlin and Garrick both felt a sort of tingling in the center of their palms as they pressed together. It caused Merlin to smile lightly while Garrick was too busy staring into the eyes of the young man he loved with aching happiness pounding through his chest.
"You can stay in my room when we go back." Merlin said with a hopeful glint in his eyes, though still feeling a bit nervous.
Garrick let his hand go as he turned to hug Merlin instead. He pressed him close and while Merlin was surprised, he wasn't bothered. He actually really liked the feeling and his hands found their way around the prince's back as well. The only thing to darken the spark that had sprung between them was Garrick remembering how all of this came to be. He only found Merlin with the voices' guidance.
He loosened his embrace on Merlin who was feeling a bit embarrassed since he'd never hugged another man for so long. Still, the young sorcerer was experiencing a very pleasant buzz all through his body until he saw the slight gloom in Garrick's eyes. What could be wrong now?
"That was my way of saying yes." Merlin said in case the prince was just confused. "I'll be with you."
"And there's nothing that could make me happier." Prince Garrick assured him. "…but there's something I have to tell you, the last thing I've kept from you. I haven't told anyone about it…it's not good."
Merlin looked questioning but followed as Garrick led him to the table. Garrick took the seat beside him and Merlin watched as the prince gathered his thoughts.
He looks very stressed, Merlin thought. Is it about the voices?
"The first time I saw you wasn't the day I arrived in Camelot. It was in a dream." Garrick started, much to Merlin's surprise. "And it was a vision…the voices told me to find you."
Merlin's guard went up and he started standing but Garrick held his hand so gently that it confused him.
"Hear me out, please." Garrick said without even looking up.
Merlin was hesitant but took his seat again, this time with a bit more caution as the prince continued.
"I convinced my father to try and make peace with Camelot and that I would take the treaty over." He said. "It was my way of getting to you. I'd been after you from the beginning, but for different reasons. I fell in love with you and you've been by my side for many days now. Knowing the hunger that the curse used to bring…it should have happened already. It should have happened on our way here or even when we were still in Camelot but it didn't. Not since I've fallen in love with you have I felt the hunger or their presence."
Merlin didn't even know what to think. The curse still existed in him and nobody else even knew. He'd been close to Garrick this entire time and he could have hurt him. Why hadn't it happened already?
"I haven't heard their voices, felt their hunger or even their presence since we departed Camelot together." Garrick said as he looked over at Merlin, their hands still loosely held together.
The young man stared back with concern and there was a thin glistening line at the bottom of his eyes but Merlin held them back. Garrick felt comforted by his presence and his expression turned more hopeful.
"You've kept them away from me." Garrick said. "You've made me feel safe again. You're even willing to accept my love for you…but it's a lot to trust and even I can't be sure that you'll be safe. I'll understand if you want to leave now."
"…why haven't you told anyone?" Merlin asked shakily and a single drop of water fell down his left cheek.
He smeared it away quickly with a frustrated expression and Garrick gently rubbed circles into the back of his hand.
"Because other than you, there's no way to stop them." Garrick told him in a calm tone.
"That can't be true." Merlin said while shaking his head. "It went away one time."
"For a little while." Garrick nodded. "But when they did come back, they were louder and stronger. I don't even know how to describe it…I just wasn't myself."
Merlin didn't say anything for a while and Garrick began to worry. He tried to only concentrate on the warmth in Merlin's hand. It was going so well and had he not mentioned the voices, they might be eating together by now…but Garrick's heart would be heavy with guilt and Merlin would feel betrayed if he ever found out at another time. This was for the best.
"If we tried to get rid of them again, we would risk making them stronger." Garrick said. "I don't want to risk it. They want you and not anybody else. I've tried to reason with them before. They don't listen."
Merlin's body was stiff but the warm thumbs rubbing his hand were comforting. It was undeniable, the fact that he felt something special for Prince Garrick. He was still a little surprised that his paranoid suspicions had been right and worried about what the prince was telling him now. The prince could die but with Merlin by his side, the voices stayed away. They didn't come after him. Maybe it was in his magic. Maybe they were afraid of it and his presence alone caused the curse to be pushed away. How could he even think of leaving Garrick after knowing this?
"Well it's a good thing I don't mind staying by your side." Merlin said.
Garrick met his eyes with a surprised look, as if to question if he meant it. The prince didn't want to get too hopeful. What if Merlin was forcing himself?
As if to answer Garrick's questions, Merlin slid out of his chair and leaned in the prince's direction. Prince Garrick's eyes closed and his heart exploded as Merlin pressed a gentle kiss into his lips. Merlin himself felt a warm blush taking over his body, even as their lips parted.
Merlin's lips were buzzing as he sat back down. He really just kissed another man. It even felt really good, unexplainably good. He was feeling a bit dazed, actually.
Garrick's heart wouldn't stop pounding. He could hear it in his ears and the energy drove him in Merlin's direction again, meeting his lips a second time. Merlin felt the passion behind it, even as Garrick was holding back. He felt the desire and how patient the prince had been. In that moment, Merlin felt really grateful and strangely lucky. Returning Garrick's kiss became instinct on its own.
Garrick smiled weakly at the sensation and reluctantly parted with the soft-lipped sorcerer. Merlin looked a bit embarrassed as the prince looked down at him but met his eyes. The heat between them made it harder for Garrick to back away.
He straightened his stance while never leaving Merlin's eyes. Merlin stared back, knowing that Garrick was being considerate. It didn't even have to be spoken that Merlin wasn't ready for anything intense. Those kisses were enough and yet not enough for Garrick. However, patience was a virtue, so he decided to wait.
"That was…good." Merlin said, not quite knowing what else to say.
"…thank you?" Garrick replied, equally unsure.
They both laughed a bit and Prince Garrick's cheeks hurt from trying not to show a frighteningly overjoyed smile. He managed to bite his lip down at another thought.
"So…when your stay here ends, I'll be going back to Camelot with you?" Garrick asked.
"Oh, I should probably tell the king you're staying." Merlin realized.
"I'll present myself when I arrive." Garrick shrugged with his long smile still spread into his cheeks.
"Uh, well, what are you going to tell him?" Merlin asked cautiously. "It might not be best to tell him the truth. Uther and honesty have never been fond playmates."
"If you're worried, I'll tell him I simply wish to admire his kingdom from a commoner's point of view." The prince said. "He'll insist I stay with you then? Jewel among the rocks?"
Merlin couldn't help feeling pleasantly embarrassed and rolled his eyes at the compliment.
"I do only have one bed." Merlin said.
"I'm sure there's something we can work out."
The prince's dark gold eyes were kind like before, sincere like before, but something about them now caused Merlin's expression to weaken. There was fire in those eyes, soft dancing flames, something entirely romantic and beautiful. The young warlock let his heart swell with the emotion of being so besotted. It was such a feeling of warmth and relief that it almost brought him to tears. He smiled instead, very weakly, and accepted Prince Garrick's hand when it was offered to him.
Garrick led the love-struck sorcerer across the room, past the fireplace, and to his bed. Merlin was hesitant, wondering what the prince meant by it, but Garrick didn't pursue his lips again.
"We should practice sharing a bed so we know what to expect." Prince Garrick explained with a faint smirk turning into his smile.
Merlin bit a laugh back. He didn't say anything but watched with a mild blush as Garrick slid his belt off. Merlin should be used to the action after seeing it done a thousand times but it seemed so arousing now. His cheeks flushed at the thought and he realized the prince was only taking off what was necessary to sleep comfortably.
Merlin did the same with the boots and belt he'd been given. Merlin was urged to slide into bed first and he did so nervously. Garrick put out the candles and the fireplace while the young warlock waited rather invitingly in his bed. Merlin murmured something the prince couldn't quite make out but he understood when an orb of pale blue light provided him guidance back to his bed. Garrick caught a glimpse of Merlin's timid smile before the light went out and he slid into bed with the other young man.
For a long while, the two just stared blissfully through the darkness. Neither could tell if they could really see the other or if they were only imagining their face. That didn't stop their hands from meeting in a cool place beneath the covers. Their warm palms heated the area and Merlin's eyes sunk under the weight of exhaustion. It had been such a long day.
Garrick moved closer and closer throughout the night while Merlin was fast asleep until the boy was resting peacefully in his arms. Garrick found the moment too special to sleep through but eventually slipped under with Merlin just as the sun was beginning to rise.