Chapter 5
Dean stood, staring at Cas, not believing what he just heard.
"Cas you are not in love with me!"
"Dean, the majority of my decisions in my very long life span may have been because of you, but you don't decide my feelings. I do. And after spending the last few days going over my life, the decisions I've made, how I feel when I'm around you, how I feel when I'm away from you and how I feel when I think of you, I know I haven't been as wise to the ways and feelings of humans as long as you, but I do know I have these feelings. I know I have them for you."
"Cas, I've seen you have feelings for women! There was April, Meg and that woman you thought you were going on a date with and ended up babysitting for!"
"Nora."
"Yea! Her!"
"Dean, I did care about them but this, has nothing to do with sexual orientation."
"Of course it does! They are girls! I'm a guy!"
"And what am I?"
"Dude, you're obviously a guy!"
"No Dean. You see a male because of my vessel. Jimmy was a male that just happen to be my vessel. My true form is sexless, remember? I am not male or female."
Dean stood there a minute, just thinking.
"Cas, I, I can't… I just, I don't know what to say."
"Dean I don't want you to say anything. You don't need to say anything. I know you don't feel the same way. It's just that this is an all new feeling for me. Well I guess not really new, but I'm just now figuring all of this out. And now maybe you can understand why you cannot help me with this."
Dean honestly tried to think of a way to help Castiel. The problem was, he had no idea how.
"Dean it's ok. I don't expect anything from you. I can figure this out. People fall in and out of love all the time. I just need to figure out how to do this for me."
"Cas, it's not that simple. There's no quick fix to it. And in most cases it turns ugly. I don't want that to happen between us. I can't have that happen between us! I've lost to many people already!"
"It's not going to turn ugly. We're not a couple and there are no bad feelings between us. At least not on my part. Do you have bad feelings towards me for this or anything else?"
"No Cas, of course not."
"And never worry that you're going to lose me. That will not happen."
Dean smiled, uncomfortably.
"But I do believe that I need some time away, away from you. If I can sort this out. Run through my feelings, accept them and move on. I know that I can and will get passed this I just need to figure it out. On my own."
"Yea, well, what if we need you?"
"I will come if you need. But I ask that you give me the time and space I need to do this. Can you respect that Dean?"
"Of course Cas. Do what you have to. We'll be here when you get back, I guess."
"Thank you Dean."
And with that, he was gone again.
Dean sat down on the bed. How did it come to this? Those stupid books! Cas wouldn't have had any of these thoughts if it wasn't for them! Cas in love with him? Seriously? He wanted to say Cas was being childish but honestly, he wasn't. He was handling it quite well actually. Cas is just reading too much into all this that's all. Of course they have a bond and whatever. That doesn't mean it's love! Not like, that kind of love! Right? Well fine. If Cas needs to go sort out his "love" for him then whatever. Dean's got things to do anyway. He can't set and analyze a bunch of stupid theories that people who don't even know them have! Really, what could they possibly know? They haven't been through what they have! What in the hell could he have read that caused all this? No! This is ridiculous! He laid down on the bed and decided to take another nap before him and Sam headed out on their next hunt.
"Son of a bitch!" Dean said as he got up and headed to get Sam's laptop.
Author's Note: I want to thank everyone for their follows, favorites and reviews! They have meant so much to me! This and my other story Supporting Cast, have been in my head for so long and it's amazing to know so many people like it! It makes writing it so much fun! Thanks again and I'll see you in the next chapter!